DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

19

Aug

Sarah Hyland in Her Bikini of the Day

Sarah Hyland is some actor in her 20s who looks 12 with budding young breasts most 12 year olds would be too shy to show off because most 12 year olds didn’t work with Sofia Vergara the last 4 or 5 years and learn the tricks of going from single mom pushing 40 to Emmy winner…a trick that happens to be straight from the tits.

She was in Vegas this past weekend, she posted this pic to instagram or some other shit, at least one person masturbated to it, and now is your chance to get up on that too, even if masturbating to pics is some plaid out shit everyone’s doing, you fucking follower…

Posted in:Sarah Hyland

2013

19

Aug

Rihanna’s Underwear Pics for Instagram of the Day

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Rihanna posted some crackhead videos of her in this outfit that she has since removed and I don’t have a copy of because I got my own life to live and it doesn’t mean sitting on ac computer documenting and saving all of Rihanna’s crazy self-produced work…even if I wouldn’t mind if my life consisted of that, since I think Rihanna is amazing…but not quite as amazing as the meltdown we all know is going to happen, because she’s too famous for her own good and the Illuminati always try to squash that by feeding their messengers they find in shanties in the islands through hard drug addiction….drug addiction that is safe to assume Rihanna is already knee deep in thanks to all her crazy…crazy I like because it is half naked.

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

19

Aug

Raica Oliveira for Some Shitty Catalog of the Day

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Catalog pics are the fucking best. I mean taking a 29 year old Brazilian model who has been in Sports Illustrated and putting her in shitty clothes, posing her in shitty ways, shooting her from shitty angles that focus primarily on selling the shitty clothes…that she’s fucking awesome..

I mean, it’s not like at her level of model fame, or even at her old model age, she wouldn’t put some effort in and get naked, maybe even spread her vagina for a photographer, I mean none of us would want that, when we can just google vaginas on the internet, and save Raica Oliveira for posing in garbage…am I right?

Posted in:Raica Oliveira

2013

19

Aug

Alessandra Ambrosio is in a Bikini of the Day

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In case you were wondering where Alessandra Ambrosio was, and I know you were, because you are weird and you wonder about these bitches when you’re not masturbating to them, since your life fucking sucks…She’s in Greece and that doesn’t mean she does it Greek, but having a couple kids probably means she does, because even the biggest vagina misses the tightness their wife once had before making the stupid decision to have kids…a vagina that is luckily wrapped up in her bikini so we can focus on her amazing baby momma recover…rather than that fleshy womb hanging halfway down her thigh, as most mom pussies work….

TO SEE THE BIKINI PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2013

19

Aug

Beach Chair Fight of the Day

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Sometimes all a beach needs a little friendly game of throw your beach chair at your neighbor to really allow you to take in the horrible techno music, fully embrace your molly roll, as half naked girls in bikinis walk by you….I mean why take in the sun and scenery of a beautiful hot summer day…when you can start beach chair riots…

It happened in Israel, I can’t be too sure if it has anything to do with the Palestinians and the Jews fighting over beach territory, but I am going to assume that it is, provided Palestinians are allowed on the beaches…

Posted in:Videos

2013

19

Aug

Helen Flanagan’s Topless Hustle of the Day

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Helen Flanagan is the future…I am not sure what that even means or if it is a reference point to us all being doomed because girls are so hung-up on fame and male attention, and not even the typical girls you’d assume would be hung up with male attention, you know the ones with daddy issues…but rather every fucking girl with a cell phone taking camera phone pics for guys to give them likes…and sometimes herpes…if they are lucky enough to make the ill decision of going to meet their biggest fans…because everyone wants to be Famous for nothing, you know, appreciated for their tits, where all they need to do is bow down and out of a traditional TV role level of fame and say to the world “Hey look at me, I’ve got tits”…it’s kinda insane, but it makes for dumb bitches and dumb bitches make for decent blow jobs, but in then again, I’ve never had a blow job I didn’t like, even a shitty blow job is good, so being a vapid cunt who only cares about getting naked on the internet, isn’t a pre-requisite, it just makes jerking off to them easier…and here’s a topless pic I guess this nobody is proud of, probably not as proud as her parents when she said “I’m quitting my well paying TV gig on a national Soap to take off my shirt”…I mean assuming she’s got Parents…

It’s the Glamour model generation and I like it.

Posted in:Helen Flanagan

2013

19

Aug

Tara Reid is in a Bikini in Ibiza of the Day

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Tara Reid is an angel sent from heaven, and by heaven I mean some perpetual Spring Break in the sky, that is always eternal, and filled with fat necked dudes and fake titty bitches, like a Vegas pool party, where all walks of life, usually horrible places, come to live out their celebrity fantasies like they were J.Lo…by the pool, listening to bad music, wearing shitty bikinis, looking’ awesome with their ravaged fake lip plastic surgery…all wasted as fuck looking for rich dudes to fuck because rich dudes have bottles for them to drink and fun hotel rooms to get smashed in…

I mean I don’t think it’s a horrible life, it’s better than any movie she’s been in, even though she may or may be a little old for this, but sometimes it doesn’t take throwing away your youth, having kids who rob your life to make you the 60 year old in the Foam party rocking’ a Glowstick to Daft Punk…sometimes you can just never bow down from the college days…

I still think she looks good in a bikini, but in my defence, I’ve had sex with sandwich meat before…and it wasn’t even fresh.

Posted in:Tara Reid

2013

19

Aug

Toni Braxton’s Dress Falls Off on Stage of the Day

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Toni Braxton is alive…and practicing one of her earlier rolls as a stripper…a stripper they want you to think was discovered when she was singing to herself as she was “Pumping Gas”…which I am guessing is code for rubbing her asshole on a dude’s leg for 10 dollars a song…but that’s just because it’s more fun than thinking about Toni Braxton pumping gas, especially when it is in reference to her dress melting away in the least erotic fucking way possible where she awkwardly dances with a dude in her leotard, hoping no one will notice, but I guess someone noticed, since it ended up on TMZ…which was convenient since before her dress fell off no one remembered Toni Braxton ever was…

I call this…unbreak her dress…she looks better that way….

Here’s the video

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Toni Braxton

2013

19

Aug

Stacy Keibler in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Stacy Keibler and her Homie and eating partner…Naomi Campbell were in bikinis last week celebrating being single, 40, fit and capable of fucking any dude they want, unless that dude is George Clooney or the Russian Billionaire…who dumped their high maintenance getting old as fuck….asses…but other than those two…these bitches are half naked, not fat and on the prowl and worth noticing or at least fucking…even if you have to listen to their whining about their exes and even if they are out there looking for someone with more status than the last dude cuz girls like climbing ladders not falling off them…even when they have their own money…it’s better for their self esteem…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Stacy Keibler

2013

19

Aug

LeAnn Rimes in Her Bikini in Cabo of the Day

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I am glad she’s not an attention seeker…

I am also glad to see the power of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, a personality that LeAnn Rimes likes to pretend died for our sins when she is reaching out to her fan base, who are mainly from the heartland and still rocking’ her first CD, because it was on special a WalMart, but more importantly, because they don’t have the internet, that’s the Devil’s technology, and they have no fucking idea what’s up…and being a forgiving type, who love their neighbor and often their children a little more than they should, they forgive her for her Hollywood, home wrecking, fake titty, drug addicted ways….because that’s just how Christians role, while LeAnn Rimes, fatter than she was when she was skinny and all head…in a bikini for the paparazzi she probably paid, because she’s got a reality show coming out people, and she needs to remind people she exists.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Leann Rimes