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2013

02

Jul

Ana Beatriz Barros in Bathing Suits for Harper’s of the Day

This is for Harper’s Bazaar Spain….and I feel like a few of these bathing suit pics don’t quite hit the mark. I mean 4 year old girls building sand castles at the beach show more skin…this is some “We’re moms in our 30s and can’t look like sluts with the other moms at our babies swim class” look…you know or it is like some orthodox christian, jewish or muslim, friendly bathing suits, because even they have to swim sometimes…

Speaking of Religious women, when walking the dog, I saw a young Rabbi and his religious wife, who was wearing the wig, and skirt down to past her knees, in a little AMISH style collared shirt, looking relatively wholesome, so I stared at her tits, then back at her, and winked, to remind her what being a woman is all about, and that’s turning me the fuck on…even when you’re in it for God, wholesome as shit, I know deep down, there lives a slut…there always does…

The good news with this shoot is that Harper’s Bazaar, got a little more european, and put her in a little less clothes, even if it’s not quite European enough for this pervert, I can always find a way to make it work.

Posted in:Ana Beatriz Barros

2013

02

Jul

Lucy Hale’s “Hot” Instagram Bikini Pic of the Day

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Lucy Hale posted this hilarious ass pic to instagram that I can only assume is her posing with her handicapped sibling, trying got share some of the attention she is getting, you know because she’s a nice sister like that…or maybe her intentions are more in line with the fact that she’s some tween celebrity pushing 25, who probably has a team of people, a lot of money, and a shitty attitude, who knows that posing with her fat friend, or weird shaped friend, will just make her look all the hotter. I mean these celebrities, even if you’ve never heard of them, know what they are doing, that’s why they are at the level of success they are at, so assuming they don’t know the most obvious way to make themselves look hotter…

It is easier than make-up, or fitness and it is the same move so many girls in clubs pull, it is the same move that usually leads to me having sex with a fat friend, because the fat friend demands some of the attention the hot friend I want to have sex with is getting…I think it is just female instinct to hang with uglier chicks…so I wouldn’t put it past this Lucy Hale character…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE BIKINI PICS FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Lucy Hale

2013

02

Jul

Jessica Alba for Glamour of the Day

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I don’t get overly excited about Jessica Alba, but she’s still Jessica Alba…you see she’s always been hot enough to look at…but she’s also always been fucking annoying. Whether it was never getting naked in her movies despite being cast as the hot chick, to having babies pre-maturely to trap her husband, to now doing some Martha Stewart shit, it’s just been fucking consistent disappointment with her…so I know what she’s posing for magazines, it’s not for a “before and after” expose on mom vaginas…it won’t even be artistic nudes, even after being spread out on the hospital bed birthing, it’s will just always be G-Rated, leaving us wanting nudity, and after so many years, it no longer remains cute, if anything it just makes me mad…

I don’t even really want to see a naked mom of 2 in her 30s…I mean despite the fact that I want to see every single woman ever naked…but it’s not my fetish or something I seek, but her constant tease, the 2 decade old tease, that always ends in disappointment, kinda makes me want it more…

So her she is in August’s Glamour….we’ll leave it at that.

Posted in:Jessica Alba

2013

02

Jul

Aimee Garcia for Dexter’s Season 8 Episode 1 of the Day

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I don’t watch Dexter, I know it’s all the fucking rage, people are naming their kids and their dogs after the show, but I’m just not into commitment that lasts 8 seasons…or more…that I tune into week after week…it seems like a scam, maybe even a trap designed to prevent me from living my own life, but rather to keep me inside my house, numb to all the corruption the government is pulling off…

So I’ve never heard of Aimee Garcia, but apparently, the Dexter fans are fucking excited that she’s finally got naked…like a non nude teen model from the late 90s, finally showing her pussy, after years off being a member of her site, it’s happened…and unfortunately it was badly lit and uneventful…but it still fucking happened…

I will say, that I appreciate that TV is going down the sleazy route, the 90s made me think I’d never get my own show, because anything I’d right would involve at least one interracial midget sex scene with real sex to make it more authentic…and by the looks of cable..it looks like they may beat me to it…which is okay, I’m too lazy for success and riches.

Posted in:Aimee Garcia|NSFW

2013

02

Jul

Ashley Tisdale’s Bikini Party of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale is in a bikini with a bunch of friends…and for some reason, a reason I call bad judgement, she’s not wearing the Mexican Wrestling Mask I sent her to help her with her face…it’s the new plastic surgery…when plastic surgery doesn’t work…and it’s far more water resistant than a paper bag…

I guess putting a mask in an envelope with a mason jar of dried semen, sent to Disneyland, addressed to “The High School Musical Chick With the Bad Face”….isn’t postal worker friendly…they are unionized and don’t like going out of their way for anyone.

What it comes down to, is duck face or not, Ashley Tisdale has a fit little body, and as much as I make fun of her face, it’s not as bad as it could be, it is just bad in Hollywood standards, and the fact that she’s living in a mansion, making money, gives us the right to demand more out of her…

Seriously, I get so much hate from people when laughing at this asymmetrical looking thing, even though I totally appreciate that she’s trying to offset her inadequacies with fitness…and really her bank account balance proves that face or not, she’s already won, so stop defending her, it’s not like she’s defending you, she’s too busy hanging in her bikini, living the good life.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2013

02

Jul

Nicole Kidman Models Shoes for the Foot Fetishists of the Day

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Jimmy Choo’s fall campaign stars Nicole Kidman…the robot/alien ex-wife of Tom Cruise, who happens to own a carrot pie that he probably wasn’t too into eating, because it didn’t have testicles, but that I am totally down with eating, because I’ve never had sex with an official redhead thanks to years of being disgusted by them…and karma not allowing me to get up in one now that I’ve grown as a man and accepted all shades of pubic hair, even the pubic hair that contrasts heavily with the bright pink of the vagina lips that contrasts heavily with the pasty, almost invisible skin.

I know she’s old, I know she’s clothed, I know these pics are about the shoes, something I assume at least one of you has a fetish for, a fetish so consuming you have a pair on right now….because that’s jus the kid of crowd I attract…

I blame THIS NICOLE KIDMAN PHOTOSHOOT …for the boners Nicole Kidman now gives me…

Here’s the campaign.

Posted in:Nicole Kidman

2013

02

Jul

Topless Tribute to Lindsay Lohan for Her Birthday of the Day

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If you’re like me, you probably forgot Lindsay Lohan existed.

Which is too bad, because for the longest time I was her biggest fan, I would leave her creepy voicemails and post them to YOUTUBE….and I even became her text message buddy, that lead to me spending a night in her hotel room once, drinking her Vodka and eating her sweet potato fries while she danced to her album that never got released…but then she officially fell off…turned 25 and it all ended…leading to nonsense stories of Rehab and court dates, that made the damage less fun, more repetitive, and if anything just a disappointment…

I like when girls are fucking messes, especially rich girls, it is fun and inspiring, it’s office “I Don’t Give a Fuck, I’m Too Broken”…but unless they take ownership of it…it gets boring fast..and they disappear…even to those of us who really loved her fucking tits..

Well she’s 27 now, old as fuck, this is the year for her to die like she was Cobain, even if to most of us she’s already dead.

I have hope…that there is another round for this one….and if there isn’t, at least we have her amazing tits to remember her by….

Happy Birthday Lohan. This is your year.

If you’re wondering what has happened to her – I am going to assume she’s gone off and had a baby and we have the exclusive footage right here…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|NSFW

2013

02

Jul

Country Singer Named Jessie James Looks Amazing in a Bikini of the Day

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Her name is Jessica James, but she goes by Jessie James, because I guess Jessica is too formal, and not porny enough for an already porno name.

She’s apparently a country star, who just got married, and she’s apparently got ridiculous tits, that I would assume were fake, if she hadn’t posted these bikini pics of herself when she was 17…equally fucking busty…

I guess she’s just a product of good old country living, and more importantly the hormones in the food, especially the dairy, on the ranch I can assume she grew up on, unless of course she’s not real country, but more trailer park country, which based on her style, is pretty fucking possible…a stripper who has sex with family members for meth money who never was…which is disappointing…but at least she’s in a bikini…

TO SEE PICS OF HER IN HER BIKINI BUSTING OUT FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jessie James

2013

02

Jul

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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So it was a long weekend, so a few of the 9-5ers who normally don’t go out drinking on Mondays because they have jobs, were out…there were fireworks and shit, and everyone loves fucking fireworks…

I ended up meeting a Greek girl last, and surprisingly she wasn’t fat or hairy and she didn’t smell like garlic…but within a few minutes of us talking I found out that despite being Greek she didn’t go Greek, and never tried Greek, I lost interest, not because I love anal sex that much, I mean it’s kinda shitty, but because that’s not the kind of rebelling I lil…

I mean stand by the one thing your culture should be proud of….Sure don’t participate in the stupid shit, like if you’re arab get out of that Burka and flash them tits like you’re not gonna get stoned, and if you’re Greek…Take it up the pooper.

Here are some morning links….

These Bikini Sluts Are Amazing…Their Horny Fan…Not So Much..
GO

Amanda Bynes Words of Wisdom…
GO

Safety Line Saves Demolition Worker…
GO

Thigh Gap for Everyone
GO

10 Best Fails of the Week
GO

Big Tits – Little Nipples in the Ocean
GO

I want to Eat Nicole Kidman’s Carrot Pie…
GO

Canada’s Day Editon of Tramp Stamp
GO

Some Ke$sha Ass…That’s Not So Great…
GO

Hey Happy Birthday Lindsay Lohan…
GO

Frasier Getting Frisky in the Pool with a Wallet Fucker
GO

This Dog’s Got Some Ball Control..
GO

Worst News Graphic Ever
GO

I am into this Lollipop…
GO

Kate Upton is Still in Vogue Brazil
GO

Fucked Up Random Picture Dump…
GO

1000s of Girls Online and Naked Right Now…For Free…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2013

02

Jul

MarisaDD is the DSFCam Girl of the Day

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Her name is MarisaDD , I am going to assume that is not her real name, but her DDs ar as fucking real as can be…and fucking incredible…I’ve had DDs a few times, and they’ve always inspired me to be a better man…

She’s one of the models to stare at and fall in love with or at least watch like the pervert you are from behind your computer screen writing her sweet nothings…all from the comfort of your own home, without actually having to leave the house and interact with real people, cuz real people have germs, and let’s be real here, even if you did go out of the house, you’d never have the chance to talk to anything as lovely as MarisaDD….

TO SEE HER PLAYING WITH HER BOOBS AND FLASHING HER BOX (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK

OR YOU CAN WATCH HER ON CAM (NSFW)
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:DSFCam