DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

12

Jun

Shelby Keeton in her Bikini for Marie Claire of the Day

Shelby Keeton is a babe. Which I guess would explain why she’s a model. I’m surprised I’ve never heard of her, because if I had, I would have taken advantage of her low level of fame and booked her to shoot nudes in my basement at a discount rate, but now that she’s in some major publication, she’s probably more expensive than “Free cocaine”…making her one of the many who have got away. Lost opportunity that I should spend more time preventing by stalking the “New Faces” section of the modelling agencies….

I don’t know where she’s from, but I’m gonna assume heaven.

Posted in:Shelby Keeton

2013

12

Jun

India Reynolds Titties for Page 3 of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Oh Shit! Glamour Model Tits….

Her name is India. I would like to assume that is her stripper name and not her real name because let’s face it if it is her real name her parents kinda set her up for this life of half naked modelling. I mean, there are just certain names like Jade and Saphire, that give a girl little choice of what to become. It’s like she didn’t choose the stripper game, the stripper game chose her, and she was ready for it since birth.

All this to say, Glamour models aren’t real models, they are dumpier and more busted, but they show their tits, and their tits are usually big, making them worth looking at, and not worth complaining about, because ultimately, none of this matters.

Posted in:India Reynolds|NSFW

2013

12

Jun

Alessia Tedeschi has a Rockin’ Body of the Day

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Alessia Tedeschi looks like a lot of fun, or at least her body does.

She’s some low level italian model who doesn’t matter, but she’s gone to Ibizia and in doing so, has got her ripped body with implants, that distract from her busted face, into a bikini…and the paparazzi ate it up.

I prefer when the low levels do porn, or at least nudes, I mean she’s built for it, but I’ll take staged bikinis pics, cuz lets face it, nothing else is going on for me right now, and even if it was, you know if I had my wife and stepdaughters in a bikini, these pictures are more arrousing, but more importantly, these pictures smell a lot better, cuz my wife is obese and has a hard time wiping properly, and powering just doesn’t mask the small, it kinda just adds a new floral layer to it….and it’s fucking horrible…while this bitch is lovely as fuck, and as low level as she is, it is safe to say Clooney is probably already trying to recruit him to his Lake Como retreat for anal. Good hustle.

TO SEE Alessia Tedeschi Hot in Her Bikini
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Alessia Tedeschi

2013

12

Jun

Passengers of a Plane Believe They Can Fly of the Day

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So the story is that passengers of Allegiant flight were stranded for 3 hours and decided to break into song, that song “I Believe I Can Fly”, which the one black passenger was nice to bring with him, just in case they had to do a little song and dance for the internet.

The reason I am posting it, I couldn’t tell you. The quality is shit. the giggling annoying, the concept totally foreign to me, because I generally don’t talk to people on planes, you never know if they are terrorists (Hi NSA), and I know if I was on this plane, I wouldn’t be getting down like it was summer camp, I’d be going fucking crazy thanks to claustrophobia.

Life lesson – never fly Allegiant. I mean regular price airlines fly to Vegas for 49 dollars, it’s almost pointless to rock the Discounters…

Other life lesson, when life gets you down, all you gotta do is sing you way through it.

Posted in:Videos

2013

12

Jun

The Top 37 Instagram Pics of Kanye’s “Mistress” of the Day

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Remember – when reading this story – that Kanye is dropping an Album in 3 days. That people close to her have told me she never fucked him. This is all for publicity.

Sure, she’s hotter than Kim, but so is a pile of dog shit. Sure she is like a pornstar without the porn…which is typical from girls from Quebec. It’s like the fallback plan is to be a stripper, so they all do what they can to look like strippers, in the event they ever need to be strippers.

Usually these kinds of girls can be found at the local bar or club peddling drinks for tips that they use for cosmetic improvements and trips to Cuba or other Miami for DJ week because like all girls…They love guys with money, or fame, or status, from DJs to bar owners.

Like all girls they love attention, so much that they change their FACEBOOK name from the stupid nickname they have been using since I’ve had her on FACEBOOK – to her actual fucking name so people can find her…

Not humiliated by her new fame..but loving that it went viral and everyone is finally talking about her. She’s been waiting for this moment all her life.

This is her big hit, the 5 minutes and we can all hope it leads to a sex tape. Even though she claims she never fucked Kanye.

Remember the convenient thing in the story is that Kanye is dropping an album in 3 days, that Kim Kardashian needs this storyline, and that I am sure he’s fucking all kinds of things, mainly men, since he’s not even with Kim Kardashian, it’s all one big media blitz bullshit lie….

What we can gather from her instagram is that –

1 she loves her implants, because they make her face worth looking at. They get her all the tips and male attention so she shows them off. They are her BFF.

2 she likes when black guys ride the back of her canoe.

3 she has a thing for monkeys

4 she loves money

5 she loves headlining DJs.

Here are her top 37 Instagram pics, cuz this shit hits close to home and I’m gonna cover it. Even if it doesn’t matter, is all lies, I just appreciate implants making moves…in the most simplistic and hilarious ways.

IT’s nice to see dreams come true via vagina or by lying about her vagina,or by someone else lying about her vagina…because I have a feeling she didn’t even bang him….but I’ll ride this story hard.

Posted in:Leyla Rocks

2013

12

Jun

Leyla Rockks Fucked Kanye West of the Day

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There is a Montreal girl on my Facebook who irritates the hell out of me as she constantly promotes bullshit like club events….named Leyla Ghobadi…or Leyla Rockks who is making serious moves getting the cover of the NY Post, all for being the chick Kanye cheated on Kim Kardashian with, which is surprising, because she doesn’t have a penis.

Earlier today, she deleted me as a friend when I asked her for an interview. That hurts my feelings.

Now that she’s the vagina the Kanye Fucked While Kim Kardashian was pregnant, because Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are only “together” and making babies for business reasons….and Leyla Rockks saw an opportunity to have sex with a celebrity with lots of money in efforts to make her fake tits famous. Opportunist maybe, but doing a good job with it. She’s too good for me.

To assume that Kim Kardashian didn’t know any of this, or that Kim Kardashian wasn’t involved in this in some Jerry Springer way or another, because this gets her back in the news, is like assuming her being pregnant wasn’t just part of a storyline for money.

It is all bullshit….idiots. Kim and Kanye aren’t some power couple, dude knocked up a bitch who needed to be knocked up to benefit their careers. there was no love or commitment involved. Just dollars.

So apparently Kanye is hung up on this Leyla chick and he hit her up last week, all of which I believe because he has business here in Montreal, from people running his clothing line, to an energy drink company, to his DJ A-Trak….so it all makes sense…

She graduated as a nurse, works as a marketing director at a spa, and a bartender at a trendy club, and now she can add working Kanye’s dick to her resume….good hustle girl. I’m would be proud if I was her Iranian parents.

Either way, I guess I should go out there and get exclusive content about her.

Posted in:Leyla Rockks

2013

12

Jun

Miley Cyrus is Fuckign Beiber of the Day

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I like to keep on top of Miley’s activities, because I am a tween girl like that, who appreciates a girl who is not a tween, but has the body of one, thanks to Disney Hormone Therapy, to keep them young, like Peter Pan.

I just think she’s great, probably because I don’t have to listen to her talk, or bark orders at her staff, because you know she’s the worst kind of rich chick, but instead I get to watch her hustling to make herself relevant again, like a Mini-Rihanna but a little more country…..

The new story is that she’s fucking Beiber, why? Because it gets her in the media, it gets everyone talking, show up to an event together and bang bang, people write about it.

When the real story is look how fit that little body is, oh how I’d like to smear it on my genitals….or vice versa…

What a babe.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

12

Jun

Kate Upton’s Awkward Body Body Painted of the Day

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I don’t know the source of these pictures, I just know the person should be taken out back and shot, and by person, I mean Kate Upton, because she’s built like a farm animal, and her prime is long gone, she’s already run her best race, and won her last prized pig at the fair ribbon, and it’s time to put her to pasture like the cow that she is…

I don’t mind looking at her massive sloppy tits, but I don’t think she should be getting paid the millions she gets paid to show her tits…

But then again, I have no power, no control, so I might as well just accept it and go along with it…even though it is horrible.

TO SEE ALL THE PICS FROM THIS HORRIBLE SET
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kate Upton

2013

12

Jun

Fitness Model Michelle Lewin Does the Black Tape Project of the Day

1 Comment »

The black tape project is some high concept art project that I guess involves dressing girls up in black electrical tape, which I guess when styled by artists is far more fashionable that the tape I usually use on girls, duct tape, but that’s usually only temporary, you know to keep the screams in…and sometimes, if they are really feisty, to prevent running away or clawing at my sexual advances..

I’m joking people, I don’t use tape, rope is far better and the roofies usually keeps the screams down.

I’m joking people, I’m believe in chivalry and no sex before marriage. Rape is for prison.

Her name is Michelle Lewin, I have no idea who she is, but here she is wearing black tape and it’s hot.

Posted in:Michelle Lewin

2013

12

Jun

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

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I just woke up…I blame drinking all fucking day and more importantly having no reason to get up…not because I am depressed and want to die, even if I feel like I am dying, but because I’m semi retired/ unemployed and this is how we do things..

Here are a few morning links to start the day…

Kanye West is Cheating with This…..
GO

Hot Girls in Glasses
GO

Jackie Chan is Up To Insanity….
GO

Dog Helps Wheelchair-Bound Owner – Awesome
GO

Robots Are Taking Over Japan
GO

The Worst Amanda Bynes Photoshop Fails
GO

Dogs Vs Citrus
GO

Car Strikes 2 Pedestrians….
GO

Hot Tits Posing in a Hot Night Gown of the Day
GO

I LOVE CAM GIRLS
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS