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2013

04

Jun

Miranda Kerr Recycles Some Bikini Pics for Instagram of the Day

Bikini model Miranda Kerr posted these bikini pics to her Instagram….

I am guessing she’s hired a publicist now that her gig with Victoria’s Secret is up and she’s out there trying to promote herself as hard as she can so that all her riding Victoria’s Secret marketing budget to become a celebrity the last 6 years doesn’t go to fucking waste.

You know, because she’s at her peak and can either ride the status quo as she slowly gets fatter and older. Or she can break free and create her own destiny, that will either collapse and she has enough money to still live the good life with her rich actor husband, or work and she will make a name for herself as someone who isn’t just a Victoria’s Secret model, whether through acting or modelling, just anything that isn’t Victoria’s Secret.

So she’s been out there posting all kinds of pics from shoots, that are all a lot like her Victoria’s Secret shit, but I guess we should give her time to find her own style and sound. Like when she WENT OFF AND GOT NAKED FOR VOGUE …

She’s even gone on Fox and Friends to show off her flexibility to the Republicans….What won’t this girl do…

There is hope….

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

04

Jun

Victoria Justice Bikini for Social Media of the Day

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Being on the beach in Florida, looking at girls who looked like this, and realizing that not all girls who were 300 pounds as expected, I felt that there is hope for a better tomorrow.

It’s like not all “18”-20 year olds, because they were all 18 from the distance I was staring at, legal to have sex with with my mind, are fucked up from the hormones in the food in a fat and sloppy way, but instead are lean and long with great booty way…I want to bury myself in….

Collectively parading around knowing they were hot, snapping pics for each other for their social media.

It was a magical experience.

I don’t know who this Victoria Justice girl is, but I do know she’s leading a great example for the girls I saw, better her than that Kate Upton pig.

Posted in:Victoria Justice

2013

04

Jun

Amy Childs Silly Big Tits in a Bikini of the Day

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AMY CHILDS is from the UK, she claims she’s 21 or 22….but I’d have to see proof, because she looks like she’s more of a 45 year old cougar from Flordia, rocking her second set of fake tits, because her first ones weren’t big enough for the UK, because the UK loves stupidly huge tits, probably because the working class chimney sweep family were too poor and malnourished from all the porridge and potatoes to breast feed the last 100 years. You know, giving them a big titty complex.

Either way, along with posing in this green Bikini, Amy Childs has achieved such greatness as being in Celebrity Big Brother and some other shit called The Only Way is Essex, not that it matters, what matters is that she’s another nobody milking her tits for personal gain, which works for me because I’d like to milk her tits for personal gain to.

Not to mention, she’s got PUGS, and as a certified Pug Whisperer, I think that means we’re destined to be.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Amy Childs

2013

04

Jun

Esme Bianco Full Frontal in Some Stephen McClure Shoot of the Day

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Esme Bianco is some UK burlesque dancer, because apparently burlesque still exists, even if it is one of the dumbest things to watch, and usually performed badly by fat chicks.

You probably know her from Game of Thrones, a show I’ve never seen, because I am uncomfortable with dragons, midgets and wizard shit. It just reminds me of virgin losers too much.

I assume that if she’s on the show, she’s one of the girls getting naked….so this nude full frontal in a photoshoot looking amazing…may not be all that wild and exciting for you…but it is for me.

I’ve posted Her tits on TV Before , but this is better.

Posted in:Esme Bianco|NSFW

2013

04

Jun

Sasha Cohen’s Got a Great Ass of the Day

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Olympic figure skater Sasha Cohen as at some dude named Victor Weir-Voronov’s pool party this past weekend, and like most pool parties, she got into a bikini, only at this party, she decided to pose for a group shot like a fucking boss, you know at the right angle to show off her fit round ass an ass she clearly knew she had, because most girls in bikinis who aren’t so confident about their ass posing, usually have a sarong or towel or oversized t-shirt to compensate, even when their asses aren’t half bad.

All this to say, this is just another example of athletic girls in to fitness because it is their livelihood, squatting their way into an ass I’d like to chip my tooth on.

Seriously, I love fit booty, and this one blows my fucking mind, unlike trying to masturbate to figure skating back when it was on the only channel I had, because along with tennis and swimming, the camel toe and panty flash is there, but so hard to time right your orgasm to right…

Posted in:Sasha Cohen

2013

04

Jun

Helena Bonham Carter Sexes it Up of the Day

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Helena Bonham Carter creeps me the fuck out in every single move she’s done. From Fight Club to Alice in Wonderland, her goth weirdness is anything but sexy to me, if anything it is like some horrible horror movie character Tim Burton crafted in his weirdo basement when doing the research for Edward Scissor hands….

But that doesn’t mean I don’t like her, I mean I fear most women, especially when they are willing to fuck me, it’s like “What’s the fucking catch, do you have aids, is this an attempt to murder me because you’re in a lesbian tribe of dick killers” kinda thing…I only trust a girl who doesn’t want to fuck me…

Either way, she’s old. She looks LIKE SHIT IN A BIKINI but I guess some devil’s magic went down in this shoot Vogue UK’s July 2013 issue, because I find her hot…and that scares me more than her witchcraft.

Posted in:Helena Bonham Carter

2013

04

Jun

Sara Sampaio for L’Officiel Turkey of the Day

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SARA SAMPAIR is some Portuguese model who you may or may not know from the Victoria’s Secret catalog you are subscribed to since the 90s under a fake chick name, that still comes to your door every month, and that you re-visit when you’re bored of porn and feel like reliving 1992, but you probably wouldn’t recognize her, because despite being awesome, fit and amazing in a bikini, all their models are shot the same, in the same pose, and it’s hard to really tell them apart…until today, today she’s posing for L’Officiel Turkey, in a bikini, that is so different than WHEN SHE MODELS THIS, it’s like we’re looking at a whole new person…

THat said, I kinda PREFER WHEN SHE’S CLIMBING THE MODEL LADDER NAKED

Posted in:Sara Sampaio

2013

04

Jun

Lucy Pinder and Others in the “When Boobs are Big” Issue of NUTS of the Day

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Lucy Pinder and some other Glamour models are in the “When Boobs are Big” issue of NUTS, which is pretty much every issue of NUTS, but I guess now they’ve got into naming them, in order to differentiate the same fucking thing over and over again. Not that it is a bad same thing over and over again, like fucking your wife on a schedule when really all you want to do is fuck your 18 year old Daughter’s friends, in fact it’s a good repetitive thing, because big tits never get boring.

I just feel like it is an office joke, they know that all it takes is a couple big titty bitches, in a photoshoot, and dudes will buy, but they have to keep re-packaging it, so that people don’t just jerk off to the one issue they bought, you know keep it fresh, an with ideas like “When Boobs are Big” – I can’t see how they can fail.

Posted in:Lucy Pinder|NSFW

2013

04

Jun

Today in Miley Cyrus Hotness of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is my spirit animal. I am not sure what that means, but I like to believe it’s some Native tradition that means we are connected at the soul, not that I care so much about being connected to her in anyway but her genitals, and maybe her bank account, because that’s what love is when you’re a broken down money making girl who has been supporting a team of people since you were 12….

She’s hot, she’s reinventing herself now that she’s broken up with her fiance, she’s doing this hip hop thing and taking being the white Nicki Minaj/Rihanna, whoever the fuck else she’s channeling in her pop crap that hip hop guys are eager to participate in, because she pays them to be her friend….and the good news is that she also pays us, via hot pics of herself…

Like a tween girl, I’m a fan.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

04

Jun

Babes at the CFDA Awards of the DAy

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Sofia Vergara, Jessica Chastain, Adriana Lima, Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, Karolina Kurkova, Ireland Baldwin and other bitches were at the CFDA Fashion awards, to celebrate people in the industry, in another masturbatory awards show, that for some reason is less obnoxious to me than Hollywood and Music Industry awards, because fashion is something that some dude in his basement can go viral with and become the next big thing, while Hollywood and the Music Industry, for the most part is celebrating people who have already fucking won to be there in the first place…not to mention, fashion attracts hotter bitches, and showcases tits like it was porno….

Here’s a little Candice Swanepoel getting yelled at by the paparazzi…