DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

23

May

Miley Cyrus Bra-Less and Amazing of the Day

I don’t know if I post these Miley Cyrus pics because I actually like Miley Cyrus and her tight little 20 year old body that looks like it is 14 even though it isn’t, thanks to her haircut and the hormones Disney put in the water on set of her show in efforts to keep her youthful in the event they ever had to keep the show going until she was 30…like they did with Ashley Tisdale!

Or if I post these pics of her tight little body, that never wears a bra, because people get so mad at me and call me gay….because all gay dudes are into girls with tight little bodies, with nice hip to waist ratio, and perky tits…

It amazes me that short hair makes dudes question their sexuality on a bitch, I figure we’d be past that by now…since it’s not the 1800s….but I guess I’m the one out of touch even though I’m totally touching myself to these pics…at least I would be if I wasn’t in a coffee shop surrounded by high school girls talking about prom.

I don’t need to go down like that…

To See the Rest of the Pics
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

23

May

Isabeli Fontana’s Hot for Vogue Paris July 2013 of the Day

No Comments »

Isabeli Fontana is some amazing, catholic, Brazilian model, who I like to endorse despite being over 25, a birthday where most women officially die, because she was the most scandalous Victoria’s Secret model, who they stripped down when she was 16, and caused huge controversy, because apparently, it’s not very wholesome or Christian for a brand like Victoria’s Secret to be stripping down 16 year olds, save that for the other sex offenders who don’t have a billion dollar brand to protect…

Other interesting facts about her, she’s been divorced, despite being Catholic, so she’s going to hell. She was also engaged to Rohan Marley, Bob Marley’s son who has 6 kids with Lauryn Hill, up until September of last year….Dirty….and now, she’s back to modeling in bikinis, this time at 29….and still looking amazing. I’m into it, but not as into it as Rohan Marley was, unfortunately. I’d love that tainted labia smeared on my face. #Fact.

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana

2013

23

May

Jodie Marsh is Rugged and Topless in Zoo of the Day

No Comments »

Show NSFW Content

Jodie Marsh is a lot of fun and I am not just saying that because she has amusement park sized titties. oh right, I am saying it cuz she has ridiculous tits. Tits she’s made a career out of.

You know a 10,000 dollar or less investment that probably makes her 1/4 of a million dollars a year as a Glamour Model….who at one point in time dropped out of titty modeling to do steroids and body build , who didn’t care that steroids make women’s clits big, but who clearly is back…with all kinds of new tattoos like one of Michael Jackson on her arm. Weird….

Here she is modeling naked…

Posted in:Jodie Marsh|NSFW

2013

23

May

Gabrielle Union is a 40 Year Old Bikini Party Girl of the Day

No Comments »

The hottest thing about Gabrielle Union is not that she was raped at 19 when working at a Shoe Store cuz she’s so hot dudes in shoe stores can’t contain their shit….

The hottest thing about Gabrielle Union is how she’s 40 years old, but still looks like this. It’s insane.

Normally I frown on middle-aged women acting up in Vegas in bikinis like they are recently divorced and ready to fuck any cock that comes their way to feel young again….unless I am the one they are willing to fuck to feel alive again…only to be horribly disappointed in their wild ladies weekend.

But for some reason, this one’s giving me a boner.

Posted in:Gabrielle Union

2013

23

May

Chloe Sims in a Bikini in Cannes of the Day

No Comments »

Chloe Sims is some UK Glamour model who really doesn’t matter in any way whatsoever, especially not to us North Americans, who have never seen the show TOWIE, don’t really care what a TOWIE is, unless of course it’s foreplay to a foot job, where she sticks a toe in my ass while stroking the shaft with the rest of her foot…in what I think would be a glorious sex move that I’ve just designed and should patent…..and while I do that, here’s Chloe Sims looking good in a bikini….and I’m not just saying that because she’s inspired the TOWIE….I’m saying that cuz she’s not fat.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Chloe Sims

2013

23

May

Irina Shayk’s Hot Tits in a Dress in Cannes of the Day

No Comments »

Irina Shayk was the beard to some homosexual soccer player who just played it off as being European. Because Euro dudes, despite the fact that they wear such skimpy clothes, and act like fucking women, are some of the most homophobic people around.

Meaning, they couldn’t let their star of their life. The soccer man they are so passionate about and have tattooed on their chest and as a screensaver on their phone, pictures and videos they watch online on repeat, pretty much lusting over a dude because he plays their favorite sport so well….be a ‘mo.

They wouldn’t be able to justify the boner they have for him as anything not sexual.

So they recruit some no name babe as a distraction, make her sign contracts, give her everything she wants, so long as she plays the part, introducing us all to Irina Shayk….

So his closet case ways and her Russian sex trade roots combined….bring us this…and I am into it, cuz I think she’s one of the hottest bitches in the game right now…and she isn’t letting anyone down in this dress….I guess cuz she knows to milk it, it’s far better than working for a live cam site like her friends back home.

I am a fan…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Irina Shayk

2013

23

May

Kesha Drinks Her Own Pee for MTV of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t think this is a big deal at all….I just prefer when girls are drinking my pee….

I am not a pee fetishists, but I’ve always found it funny to piss in girls faces.

I am not the average American MTV watcher, and I am sure they are freaking out thinking this staged bullshit is so fucking gross…even though it is staged. I mean why the fuck does she suddenly have a container perfectly designed for her to pee in, like a female urinal or bed pan at the hospital, in order to pull off this stunt successfully.

But the average American MTV watcher doesn’t think like that…in fact, I don’t think they think at all.

The truth is, there are people who think you expel your nutrients and that drinking your sterile pee, that won’t get you sick, replenishes them. I don’t really believe that watersports pervert theory….but I am into squirting which is 99 percent pee…so maybe I am.

All this to say, Kesha is an attention seeking fat chick no one should pay attention to, even if she’s smearing feces all over her cunt for the underbelly of twitter….

She’s useless and we can only hope this is actually bad for her and kills her off, even though I think it isn’t really pee. It’s too easy to fake it…

What a cunt.

This is what we call “No One Watches Our Show. No One Even Knows It Exists. Let’s Change That with PISS”….

Posted in:Kesha

2013

23

May

Candice Swanepoel Nude Instagram Pic of the Day

1 Comment »

Candice Swanepoel posted this picture of her totally naked on the beach in some tropical and luxurious place that she probably flew private to get to….you know on Vacation from her really hard vacation of a life….stripping down to her soul like some kind of hippie nudist who knows she’s got the hottest body around…unlike the nudists I see who think they have the hottest bodies around, but who are 60 plus in age and number of pounds overweight.

It’s a lovely, artistic picture that would only be better if I was in it, mounting her, or at least masturbating to her, posed a little more spread assed. But I’ll take what I can get. You see Instagram has rules and she can’t afford to get deleted. We can’t afford for her to get deleted. We need her and her handlers filling our lives with her life…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

23

May

Jennifer Aniston as a Stripper for We’re The Millers of the Day

No Comments »

This is the intro trailer to The Hangover 3…it is a movie called We’re The Millers….where Jennifer Aniston plays a stripper….

More importantly, Jennifer Aniston is all over the place in her underwear because she plays a stripper, which is some Hollywood fantasy shit, up there with Wizards and Dragons, you know some CGI needed hustle and some strong storyline to really get lost in believing that she could ever be a stripper…

Not that I’m complaining, cuz despite her old lady face, she’s got a good old lady body for an old lady….cuz this old lady never lured a man into knocking her up and if she did she aborted that mission for career that relies on her body….

I mean her spray tanned leathery skin, all menopausal like an old catchers mitt is preobably not as awful as some of the stripper I get lap dances from, but usually the grannies are saved for the day shift.

The lies…are burning my eyes…but I don’t mind her in underwear…because why the fuck would I…I’m not gay or anything…..and behind these SPANX is a dried up vagina and as a non-gay…I’m into that….right?

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston

2013

23

May

Morning Hangover Dump of the Day

No Comments »

I saw the Hangover 3….I am not sure why…I am not a super fan who needs to be at the opening night of really anything, in fact I actually don’t care at all about any of that shit, but it happened randomly, so I went with it…..

The highlight of the night was partially realizing how idiotic the general public are. I forget sometimes, thanks to being a reclusive hermit….you know actually seeing what jokes they laugh at….or maybe it was the fact that I saw the whole movie in the fucking trailer. Not one joke left out.

My biggest criticism, other than that I fell asleep, trying to touch the girl next to me, is that none of them were wasted the entire movie…and that’s a tragedy for something called the hangover…

Not that it matters, they don’t pay me to write this shit….but they should…cuz I am actually hungover….

Here are some links….

I want to move into Amanda Bynes’ Apartment
GO

Jennifer Aniston as a Stripper…
GO

Cindy Crawford is Hot for Harper’s Bazaar
GO

A Whole Lot of Underboob Pics
GO

Girls Who Take Selfies
GO

How To Pick Up Dudes in the Hood
GO

This Girl Takes Photo Of Herself Everyday for the last 4.5 Years – Unfortunately not Nude Pics….
GO

Emma Roberts is Going to Be on American Horror Story
GO

Poor Kid Waterslide – Hilarious How Poor They are
GO

The Pope Says Atheists Go to Heaven…
GO

I masturbate to a girl on this Free Cam Site At Least Once A Week….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS