DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

03

May

Emily Didonato’s Bikini Pics for H&M of the Day

Here’s the beard of my friend Jake Gyllenhaal…the dandiest pansy dancing like a stripper for a bunch of dudes around…Emily Didonato, a model who is taking advantage of his rich kid brat turned celebrity thanks to his dad but more importantly, his homosexuality, by linking herself up with him, so the media talk and when the media talk, she becomes a celebrity too. It’s all a fucking lie, but the only thing that’s real, or at least that feels real, or at least that I can pretend is real is that she’s half naked in these pics, whether she’s photoshopped or not….it’s good enough for me, but then again, I have no standards.

Posted in:Emily DiDonato

2013

03

May

Victoria’s Secret Island Hopping Catalog of the Day

1 Comment »

The whole idea of me posting catalog pics is just insane to me. I mean I get it, there are hot models photoshopped in standardized bikini pictures that we’ve all seen countless times before, but seriously, if I had my hands on this catalog, I wouldn’t jerk off to it, I wouldn’t bring it out to show my friends – “Hey guys check out this catalog I just got for Victoria’s Secret”, but for some reason, a reason I don’t know, I post it to the internet like it fucking matters…I mean sure the bitches are hot, but fuck, I need to be doing better things with my life than this nonsense…I mean seriously…this is nonsense…noise…garbage…yet here it is anyway because I haven’t figured out my exit strategy.

Posted in:Victoria's Secret

2013

03

May

Dita Von Teese Fetish Vine of the Day

No Comments »

Dita Von Teese was a gutter fetish model before she got “famous” on the internet, landing some Playboy shit that turned her into a Jenny McCarthy, star fucking, mainstream version of a pin-up model, in an era when Burlesque made a comeback, well she posted one of her earlier clips, ballerina feet in pie, and I had no choice but to post it, because it’s a ridiculous fetish, and more importantly, any girl can do this at home for some extra money, without feeling like a gutter hooker, even if like Dita Von Teese, you are.

Posted in:Dita Von Teese

2013

03

May

The Reese Witherspoon Arrest Tapes of the Day

No Comments »

The Reese Witherspoon arrest is a nice example of her true colors, she’s a cunt, but I could have already told you that and I’ve never met her, but more importantly, her pussy actor husband not having her back as he shits himself getting arrested, because his cushy bullshit life doesn’t take well to real situations like getting arrested, and says “I had nothing to do with that”….in a broken voice…because these people, when you strip away their money, can’t handle the simple things in life in a normal way, they think, because we make them think, that they are important, above the law and run the fucking country, even though all they do is play make belief. Fuck em all. I am just bummed she wasn’t sent to county, prison raped, and taught a few lessons of how the world, when you’re not a millionaire celebrity people suck up all the time, works.

The worst thing in all this, is that I still think this is a publicity stunt to promote her movie and get her in the news.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon

2013

03

May

Miranda Kerr’s Long Legs for Vogue of the Day

No Comments »

Here is some High Fashion athletics starring Miranda Kerr, ex Victoria’s Secret model, mom and wife to an actor, doing sports all glamorous and shit, which is the only way I really like seeing girls do sports, you know cuz otherwise they look like fucking dykes, and no one like dykes, not even dykes….because they are too manly for their lesbian penis hating ways….shit….

I like my women either skinny via fitness, because for some reason working out is the hottest shit to see a girl do, all sweaty vaginaed in yoga pants, or skinny due to drugs, starvation and too week to run.

But I don’t mind when they get all dressed up and pretend to do sports, at least not when they are Miranda Kerr, because this Vogue shoot is turning me on.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

03

May

Kelly Brook Photoshopped for FHM of the Day

No Comments »

Doughy as fuck Kelly Brook got photoshopped skinny for her recent FHM shoot, and she looks pretty fucking good, if only she could walk through life, at least her big dumpy ass, with a photoshop filter on, because it makes her ridiculously huge tits that have led to all this fame, fortune and celebrity cock, the same tits that she’s been showing off for over a decade to get to this level of big titty fame where she knew to abort the baby and give it another go before 40, even if this level of fame is being shot for FHM, something I assume she’s done dozens of times before….but doughy or not, she’s got a good face, good tits, and takes a good pic and is hardly as trashy as the other glamour models she probably pretends she’s above and not in the same league as, even though she’s their fucking leader.

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

03

May

Jessica Hart Bikini Modeling of the Day

No Comments »

Sometimes the only thing we need is an Australian gold digging model in a bikini all greased up looking pretty amazing with her amazing bikini model body to remind us how shitty our lives are because we are looking at pics of these girls and not being suffocated by their vaginas as they drip off our face.

We’ve all failed, she’s won, except for the Paris Hilton herpes she got when landing Stavros the billionaire, what a pussy wouldn’t do for a billion dollars is very limited….so here are the pics.

Posted in:Jessica Hart

2013

03

May

Bar Refaeli Old Outtakes for GQ of the Day

No Comments »

I generally like Bars, because that is where I have spent some of my best times, and some of my worst times, spending my last dollar for a drink, to forget my problems for another day, as I slowly kill myself and make horrible fucking decisions…..

But this Bar, I’m not into.

She’s big, she’s a diva, she’s boring, and she’s no longer relevant now that her A-List boyfriend and top of the ladder corporate gig doesn’t exist.

But these outtake pics for GQ aren’t so bad.

So maybe this Israeli cokehead has another go left in her….or maybe these pics are just old…but whatever they are…she takes a good picture.

Posted in:Bar Refaeli

2013

03

May

Vanessa Hudgens Dumpy Leggings Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Sometimes leggings fail us. Here is Vanessa Hudgens demonstrating when that happens.

Her bumpy, sock full of marbles looking ass in a pair of workout pants, that look like she shat herself, or is in a diaper, or wearing a 1930s menstrual belt, makes absolutely no sense.

This must be some kind of candid camera prank or some shit, because I’ve seen dumpy fat chicks, far fatter and more dumpy than Vanessa Hudgens in Leggings, and they squeezed there shit into a nice and smooth formation….

This shit is just weird.

Here’s a Vanessa Hudgens Music Video to Kill Yourself To

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2013

03

May

Jamie Lynn Spears is Wet and Warning Us Of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know how I feel about Jamie Lynn Spears or her mom pussy, but I do know I like seeing her try to be seductive for social media, holding up signs saying “Wet Floor” that can only be reference to her drippy fucking vagina, because what else could this artistic masterpiece mean…not to mention the slutty teen mom’s who get started early on, are usually the fucking horniest, ready to fill their cunts up with cock, and not into the whole getting pregnant thing, because the first go at that, ruined their fucking life…..

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Spears