DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

01

Apr

Emily Ratakowski Instagram’s a Nude Bunny Pic of the Day

Emily Ratakowski is keeping me in the Easter Spirit, even though I’ve never really been in the Easter spirit before this moment. I never really fell for trash strippers in bunny costumes, and I don’t really have great family memories of Easter, from a catholic orphanage in mexico with a molesting priest, to an obese wife who just doesn’t stop eating cake, Easter’s been pretty horrible across the board, long weekend or not…but Emily Ratakowski, the miracle worker, the hottest bitch in the game, perfection send down from Heaven, like she may be the messiah, you know Jesus after resurrected, cuz that’s the only way I can explain the religious experience that comes over me when I see her. She’s got me speaking in tongues…tongues I’d like to shove in her ass….but in a loving and caring way….maybe we’d even play some love songs while we do it.

I’m a fan. This easter bunny shit is perfect. Keep it up baby, you’re inspiring me….to masturbate.

Posted in:Emily Ratakowski

2013

01

Apr

Doutzen Kroes is Still in a Bikini of the Day

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It is safe to say, that in Doutzen Kroes’ entire career as a top model, from working with the top fashion photographers, to brands and magazines that put huge money into their fashion shoots, this picture is her best fucking picture of all time…and to think it was shot by some immigrant paparazzi who was unemployed and figured he’d go out and try to make a living chasing celebrities, cuz it’s better than being deported. Seriously, good work Doutzen, no wonder you’re a model, you make it look so easy.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2013

01

Apr

Emily Osment Instagrams a Bikini of the Day

2 Comments »

It upsets me that no one has done any background or investigative research into my allegations that Emily Osment is just Haley Joel Osment dealing with falling off the deep end when no one thought he was cute anymore, you know when his appeal as the young boy in all the Steven Spielberg movies fizzled out thanks to puberty, leaving him sitting at home trying to mastermind how to pull this shit together and have a second chance, leading to some Amanda Bynes in She’s the Man / Jonathan Brandis in Ladybugs / pretend you’re a girl, pose in your bikini cuz dudes are blinded by bikinis, and ride out your fame for a few more years…..I guess no one bothers, cuz he’s always in a bikini, which goes back to my previous point, guys are blinded by bikinis, and that’s all that fucking matters, until you end up going home with him after a lot of drinking only to find he’s pre-op , not that that would stop you, it’s not gay if there’s titty….

Posted in:Emily Osment

2013

01

Apr

Rocio Guirao Diaz Models Lingerie of the Day

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This nice thing about hispanic girls is usually their asses, at least when they make a career out of being trashy half naked models, because when they don’t, they tend to be fat. All that corn’s gotta go somewhere.

Her name is Rocio Guirao Diaz. She’s from Argentina. She’s 28. Like a good catholic, she doesn’t use condoms as it intervenes with God’s will and she has 2 kids, which is normally disgusting for a woman, but when they look like this, or at least when their asses look like this, the condition of their vagina’s don’t matter…an really the kids make fisting them easier….and everyone loves a good fisting sometimes.

Posted in:Rocio Guirao Diaz

2013

01

Apr

Vanessa Hudgens Instagrams a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

If you’ve seen Spring Breakers, you will know that the shit was a whole lot of hype, the story was weak and unbelievable, and the entire thing was just sensationalized hype, thanks to Disney girls gone bad and a Director/Writer pervert gone mainstream. They recruited paparazzi on set and pushed this shit hard, but the real tragedy was that they didn’t push the girls to hit the gym hard a month or two before filming, cuz their chubby, untoned bodies in a bikinis, as exciting as the public found it, was hardly inspirational, that’s why I’m gladded this Hudgens Pudgens is strategically taking bikini pics fro her social media, so that her gunt doesn’t get exposed, to help keep her fantasy alive to the furry twat lovers, (that’s what we call her fans like Gaga calls her fans Monsters)

Posted in:Vanesssa Hudgens

2013

01

Apr

Jenny Garth is in a Bikini for Easter of the Day

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Jenny Garth is a 40 year old mother of 3, who is turning 41 in 2 days, and who clearly understands that you should never give up trying to have sex appeal, even if your vagina is a loose fitting wind sock that has survived a hurricane at the air strip, you know shredded fabric hanging off from a thread, before it plummets to it’s impending death, retired from its service as a wind sock…if you know what I mean, and you would if you’ve ever banged a chick with 3 kids.

Her body fat is low, she’s catering to my ANOREXIA PORN FETISH , but less ill and weak and more fit and clean eating.

I just find the whole thing funny, because isn’t this what all girls are supposed to look like? When did being doughy become the norm and being fit become shocking. It’s not like she’s hit menopause yet. I think the public is just accepting being fat and lazy and that’s a real tragedy, cuz it makes going to the beach a lot less of this and a lot more of THIS

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Jenny Garth

2013

01

Apr

Naya Rivera Instagrams a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

Naya Rivera is some Affirmative Action cast member of Glee, you know the show that features people of every race, size, disability, ailment. From Obeses to Wheel Chairbound, to Alopecia Albino Diabetic with an Amputated Foot Tranny Who Is Experimenting with Heterosexual relationships….cuz it makes for good TV.

But Naya, at 26, half Peurto Rican and half Black, a product of a stage mom who was trying to launch a career of her own in Hollywood, but who instead pimped out her daughter, gets that none of that Glee shit matters, it’s just a stepping stone to star in some West Side Story gang shit. She knows what matters is showing the world her meaty twat stuffed into a white bikini…cuz when shit gets wet, it expands, like a dehydrated flower being revived….or maybe it just looks that way when the wet see through fabric gets clingy.

I am into this self shot smut.

Posted in:Naya Rivera

2013

01

Apr

LOLZ of the Day

1 Comment »

White trash Britney Spears at Walmart in short shorts, showing off thigh thighs that don’t fucking lie….I call them thigh thighs cuz they are twice the size of an average girl’s thigh. You can blame the UGGS, I blame all the medication and emotional eating.

Posted in:LOLZ

2013

01

Apr

Sunday Night Panty Flash Vote of the Day

3 Comments »

We do a thing here at DrunkenStepfather, or at least on our instagram Drunkenstepfatherdotcom, evey lonely Sunday, that involves girls who follow us, sending in their panty pics, in what I have decided to make a prize winning tournament. They post the pics, they write @drunkenstepfatherdotcom and Hahtag #SNPF and they are entered.

I decided to let you, fair reader, vote for the winner of this week’s entries, because I care about what you think about panties.

So Vote for 1 through 7.

1-

2-

3-

4-

5-

6-

7-

So Vote for 1 through 7.

[poll id=”2″]

Posted in:SNPF

2013

01

Apr

Hayden Panettiere Makes a Taking a Shit Face while Toned in a Bikini of the Day

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I guess Hayden Panettiere is keeping fit, cuz these pics of her jumping around like a clown at the circus, something she holds close to her heart, because that’s what she would be if this was another generation, while instead she is just a clown on TV, all midget but not juggling.

I figure she’s doing this fitness thing, cuz no one like a fat chick, especially not on TV, or at her wedding, that is happening soon, and I am just happy she shared, because it paves the way for her leaking more intense pics when people stop paying attention to her again, as they will.

TO SEE SOME PAPARAZZI PICS OF HER IMPLANTS SQUEEZED IN A BIKINI
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere