DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

15

Mar

Miranda Kerr is Not Naked Enough for Vogue Australia of the Day

Miranda Kerr, like all hookers, is peddling some bullshit, that she probably gets a percentage of sales on, because why the fuck not use you celebrity like you were Diddy and branch out in everything to push the 100,000,000 dollar mark….cuz getting paid 10 million a year to just pose for Victoria’s Secret, isn’t challenging enough, and when you’re a model the window is only so big…that you gotta plan for a retirement…and who the fuck cares…it involves her posting pics of herself in the shower in a bikini like we are in High School….at a party…where the girls aren’t quite ready to throw down…but are interested in the concept of showering with you…at least that’s how it played out for me….but now, if a shower opportunity arrises amongst friends…I don’t do this PG shit…I demand nudity…the way showers are meant to be had…

I also thew in some Vogue Australia pics cuz she’s lovely to look at….

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2013

15

Mar

Helen Hunt Ass in Leggings of the Day

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I recently had to take down video of Helen Hunt in a nude scene….because her legal team and the legal team behind the movie she was naked in didn’t like me sharing her amazingness with the world….but despite complying with the law because I can’t afford a lawsuit over Helen Hunt nudes…I’ve taken a snapshot with my mind that gets triggered every time I hear her name,,,,or see her 50 plus year old ass in leggings….it’s like seeing red before an episode of rage only with more saggy and amazing tit and old lady greying pubes….making her pretty fucking perfect….at least for a 50 plus…which is something I always avoid….especially when it involves my obese wife….sure this would be better if this was 15 years ago…but I’ll take it….I always take anything I can get….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Helen Hunt

2013

15

Mar

Caroline Corinth for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

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I impress myself sometimes….mainly with how many posts I do on Victoria’s Secret models….and my ability to write

I didn’t say this was life changing, or inspired…like my facebook statuses…but I’m just impressed that I manage to pull posts together…when all these half naked shots for the evil empire look the fucking same…

Her name is Caroline Corinth and she’s amazing….new for Victoria’s Secret, doesn’t even have a wikipedia page….probably made in their lab…or kidnapped from the third world the way they like…that would explain how perfect she is….wow..

Posted in:Caroline Corinth

2013

15

Mar

Iggy Azalea Lap Dance in her Work Video of the Day

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It’s too bad Iggy Azalea blocked me on twitter…after watching her lap dance 2 minutes into this song…I think we could have really built a solid friendship….

I doubt she was a stripper…she’s Australian and probably from the suburbs, but there’s no story in mall rat freestylin’ while buying lattes with your allowance…especially not when you can move to America and re-invent yourself like a chat room on the internet….but at least she’s trying…

I’m just bummed it’ll never be in my face, mouth, dick, or fingers….cuz this girl is the kind of girl I’d throw a dollar at….maybe even a stack of dollars….

Posted in:stepMUSIC

2013

15

Mar

Human Statue Gets Even of the Day

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If you’ve been on the internet today, you’ve probably seen this video of a Human Statue getting even on a heckler, who is going out of his way to annoy and test his Human Statue abilities…without realizing that anyone doing Human Statue performances is already at rock bottom, they’ve pretty much given the fuck up on life, cuz no one wants to paint themselves grey everyday to stand around and beg for change for their alcoholism…I mean we are talking the bottom of the barrel….barely a human in society…with nothing to live for….probably with a seeded past….and huge criminal record…making me think dude’s pretty lucky he wasn’t shanked…or dude didn’t try to eat his face off…

I would side with the Human Statue…because let’s face it the heckler is a fucking asshole…but without an address….he barely registers as human to me….just a thug motherfucker….who doesn’t realize his job is to get harassed by people…that’s what he’s paid the big bucks for…when he signed up to this shit instead of getting are a real job….asshole…

Posted in:Videos

2013

15

Mar

Katie Holmes Lookin’ Hot for H.Stern “Iris” Campaign of the Day

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Katie Holmes has got off the space ship and back to the beach….where her pushing 40 year old body….is strategically placed….to hide the scars of the birth of her Alien child….allowing us to focus on her soul-less face….and dead eyes…that we can blame Tom Cruise for stealing…and ultimately, I really like this look….it’s for some Fashion ad campaign…and it is good…

Posted in:Katie Holmes

2013

15

Mar

Jodie Marsh Posts Pics of Fun Underwear on Instagram of the Day

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If you’re wondering if there’s a life after Glamour Modeling…..just turn to Jodie Marsh and you will see that so much changes when you pull out of that topless for lad mag world….that you’ve just grown out of…and feel like giving the young blood the opportunity to takeover…..it leaves you dying for attention…and posting your “favorite” underwear…that might as well not even be underwear….but rather spread lip…on instagram….and it’s fucking amazing…

Posted in:Jodie Marsh

2013

15

Mar

Penelope Cruz in her Bikini of the Day

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I used to bang a girl who thought she looked like Penelope Cruz because they both had massive noses….the only difference was that she wasn’t Penelope Cruz and just had a big nose…..meaning two things…the first – that Penelope Cruz rocks a big nose, something we all hate better than any girl…..I mean so good she’s even hotter than girls with normal sized noses……the second…that she makes other big nosed girls thing they shouldn’t get a nose job even when they should….

Here she is on the beach, pregnant with Javier’s baby, looking better than most pregnant chicks…because I guess Penelope Cruz is one of those girls who could make herpes scabs look awesome…cuz let’s face it…pregnancy is the worst STD around….

Here’s the video:

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Penelope Cruz

2013

15

Mar

Amy Hood for Jonathan Leder Topless for his Movie of the Day

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My man Jonathan Leder, a photographer I think I’ve spoken to at least once, while trying to seduce his models on Instagram, girls who are amazing, and who pull off this vintage erotica thing for him really well….one who has gone onto do Playboy and another who calls me out everytime we cross internet paths….and now this one, Amy Hood, who I’ve never heard of, but who is the main star of his movie…that you can see the trailer of below….

The guy is fucking talent, he’s going places, and he’s bringing hotness I am into…making it a no brainer for me to support, promote and try to hang out with him for the chance to produce his movies and hold his models’ hands….

Here are the pics…The only flaw in all this is that she doesn’t have bush…

Posted in:Amy Hood|NSFW

2013

15

Mar

Emily Ratajkowski Awesome as Always of the Day

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Emily Ratajkowski is pretty much perfect. I’ve been writing her love poems and love songs every day since I first met one of her topless pics…something I’ve been tracking since pretty much day one….and I haven’t got her mailing address or her phone number to really solidify this love affair…but with all soul mates, we are just connected, and don’t need modern things like communication to know it is real love….we just need pics of her amazing tits….it’s less work this way and avoids all other issues with soul mates, like marriage, kids and hatred / resentment for each other…

No idea what these pics are for…but I’m glad they happened…

Posted in:Emily Ratajkowski