DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

17

Jan

Maria Menounos Gets Her Ass Fixed of the day

Maria Menounos had a wardrobe malfunction….a word or term I fucking hate using cuz it makes me feel like some candy coated poptart sucking piece of shit gossip blog….you see I prefer the biker approach to life “bitch got her pants ripped cuz of all the ass fucking her greek ass is into”….you know play on the fact that they aren’t sewing her dress back together…but her asshole because in Greece the asshole is the main vagina…the one you use when you’re not trying to make babies….but reality is her dress split, she had a team with a sewing kit, instead of giving the paparazzi a story, like she was Tara Reid…she dealt with it herself using social media…and he’s what it looked like….mocking yourself is always cute.

Who is Maria Menounos again and why does she matter?

Posted in:Maria Menounos

2013

17

Jan

Shakira’s Offensive Pregnancy Pics of the Day

No Comments »

Shakira and her husband Gerard Pique, some soccer star who plays for FC Barcelona….posted these pics to promote her online baby shower…you probably heard about yesterday…but that I ignored because the whole pregnant thing has turned Shakira invisible to me…even if her breasts are small and humble and even if her hips don’t lie…I kinda wish that parasite inside her belly did…cuz looking at this shit freaks me out….in what I think is the most unnatural thing to do to yourself…even if it is the foundation of humanity and the one thing that is natural…I just can’t wrap my head around it…like I can’t wrap my head around these topless couple photoshoots people do….friends have sent me similar shit…and I have seen similar shit on facebook and it is the worst….and should be kept to themselves as a memento of what they find a beautiful thing…because they are the only one who find it a beautiful thing….

It is just on some fucking level of trailer park scrap booking…something I guess Shakira isn’t too far off from…cuz despite being rich…she’s still a latina….and latina’s notoriously do it tacky and loud….

Here are the pics if you’re into having a good laugh…

Posted in:Shakira

2013

17

Jan

Valentina Shaposhnik for XXL Russia of the Day

No Comments »

Show NSFW Content

Valentina Shaposhnik is what I assume is a Russian Glamour Model, something I didn’t know existed before today, but I guess should have known existed, because a Glamour model is really just a chick with big old tits, often times new tits, who poses for the same magazine over and over again…..cuz after googling her…cuz I’m an investigative journalist…I found that she’s done at least 5 shoots for XXL RUssia before…representing their lack of effort and creativity, despite her being a total standard looking babe I would always look at naked, because Russia is filled with babes who would be willing to do this, and who I’d be willing to look at doing this, cuz based on the mail order bride sites I browse looking for a replacement to my beater, I’ve found so much gold….but I guess why kill a good thing off…especially when she’s probably dating the publisher….who insists use my girl…or you’re all fucking fired…that’s usually how these things work..

Posted in:NSFW|Valentina Shaposhnik

2013

17

Jan

Amanda Bynes Did this to her Face of the Day

3 Comments »

Amanda Bynes is my kind of crazy girl…but only because she’s got long legs and great tits that she shows off because she likes to put herself out there….it is all part of her mentally unstable breakdown that has lead to getting her in trouble with the law for being on drugs and drunk…and driving….in what some people say is a cry for attention and that I just say is a lot of fun…because whenever you find a teen star who was exploited by her parents who can’t get work….and who people stop caring about…trying to find herself…you get a good time…it is like they are going through the teen rebellion they would have gone through if they weren’t too busy being puppeteered by their parents for cash…..so seeing her pierce her face like some 14 year old at the mall…makes me happy…it’s that regressive teen angst in her 20s that leads to a lot of fun….and now all I need is to join her entourage….seriously…

Posted in:Amanda Bynes

2013

17

Jan

Tamara Ecclestone Bikini Modeling of the Day

1 Comment »

Billionaire Heiress and likely brat…who is trying her best to take over LA like she was Paris Hilton….because that’s what Billionaire Heiress do….especially when they are new money….who just need to throw that cash around in the trashiest of way possible to make as much noise in the process as possible….from buying the Spelling Mansion to modeling bikinis…to show off her fake tits…this 28 year old may be someone worth trying to K-Fed cuz she’s worth a lot of money – but beyond that…she’s pretty worthless…filled with daddy issues and no soul…like most rich girls…who are just as bad as strippers and porn chicks…they just do it in designer clothes and can afford the abortions….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Tamara Ecclestone

2013

17

Jan

Jessica Hart’s Awesome Maxim Australia Shoot of the Day

Comments Off on Jessica Hart’s Awesome Maxim Australia Shoot of the Day

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

The only flaw in Jessica Hart is that she’s dating Stavros, Paris Hilton’s ex boyfriend, who has clearly given her the Paris Hilton strain of herpes, cuz that’s how unprotected sex works, but I guess it was worth it for Jessica Hart, since he’s a billionaire and can help really put her hotness on the map…I mean with modern science, what’s a little herpes but a itchy burnign distraction if you miss your Valtrex….I like her risk vs reward analysis…

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Jessica Hart

2013

17

Jan

Spring Breakers Official Trailer of the Day

3 Comments »

So the Spring Breakers trailer has finally dropped…this is a movie staring all the little starlets as bikini bandits that have had the paparazzi on set since day one…making me feel like I know the story already….and it bores me…..because how many times can I look at Selena Gomez in that same bikini….but that was before today…

Because Today, I found out that this is a Harmony Korine movie, and in the 90s, despite hating Kids and wanting them all to die of AIDS, and thinking GUMMO and Julien Donkey Boy and even Ken Park, were just shitty across the board, you know shock value for the sake of shock value, they were still better than the hollywood shit they were up against, paving the way for interesting independent movies…..

So now I’m actually interested in seeing what he’s been up and what he’s still got in his back pocket of an over-hyped, marketed as “Genius” filmmaker in the 90s….

Let’s hope it’s not just a cash grab to pay his mortgage….

Here is a picture of Ashley Tisdale in a sports bra for twitter – because I figure she was left out of the Spring Breakers movie – something she is really unhappy about – so why not include her self produced erotica in it because I can – I am nice like that…

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Springbreakers

2013

17

Jan

Behati Prinsloo Bikini Photoshoot for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

No Comments »

Pics of Behati Prinsloo GRABBING AT HER TITS TO MAKE THEM POP FOR VICTORIA’S SECRET have been popping up on the internet today…and they are ok…but then again I am not really a fan of this model, her name is just too cartoon-like for me to get into it…I mean how could you seriously throat fuck a girl named Behati Prinsloo without thinking a Bollywood Musical parade is gonna walk down that alley you’re throat fucking her in….

I can’t even say it sober without laughing…and feeling like a creep in the park luring in kids…..I know…what is a name…I barely know the name of any girl I get with, even my wife….I just call them all baby….I am a romantic…..

Either way, she’s just part of the half naked Victoria’s Secret model roster that I can’t actually dislike…that’s why I just tweeted her asking if she was wet…because i care….cuz they are tall and half naked….getting paid millions to be half naked…making them better than any girl I get half naked…if the hired ones…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo

2013

17

Jan

Michelle Keegan’s Gold Bikini for Some Magazine of the Day

No Comments »

Michelle Keegan has big tits and a not so big body….fucking with my mind and all I have known about big tits in my life….because they are supposed to come with a fat ass or shitty legs…or a gunt..unless they are fake…and I guess the only explanation is hormones in the food….it may lead to diabetes and birth defects…and weird as fuck cancers but shit is worth it for the tits….good job food scientist fucking with nature….good job.

Posted in:Michelle Keegan

2013

17

Jan

Ginger Spice Sings in a Bra of the Day

2 Comments »

For those of you who don’t remember Geri Halliwel, she was a stripper, nude model, turned Spice Girl who got fired from being a stepGIRL….with red hair and a pretty fit body…and rockin’ tits….and I guess you can’t teach old dogs new tricks…and with the advent of Social Media…her true colors of being a tart who shows off her huge tits for attention and a bit of money….is ingrained in who she is at her core…that now given the opportunity to reach a broad audience with a camera phone…comes this bra wearing busty 90 year old in the studio singing…cuz that’s what she does…..and I’m not complaining…I just wish there was more diddling…

Posted in:Geri Halliwell