DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

30

Nov

Alessandra Ambrosio Fashion Porn for Vogue Brazil of the Day

Fashion is Softcore porn, if you read this site, which I doubt and don’t really get why I bother even captioning pics….then you’d know that I love models because they are skinny, have very little ambition, but get paid a fucking fortune to cock tease, sometimes showing pussy lip, often showing nipple, which sometimes is enough to get off to, if you’re bored or desensitized from porn and need to switch it up by channeling your inner 12 year old…

So here’s Ambrosio, in Vogue Brazil, in one picture that has some nipple definition, even though there’s no see through, it may be enough for you fans who didn’t write her off for being a disgusting mutated vagina thanks to childbirth mom…instead of being committed to her career and fans that took her out of the Brazilian middle class and into stardom…So rude and selfish of her….but she’s a woman…could you really expect anything more out of her?

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio

2011

30

Nov

Vanessa Hudgens Ass Goes Shopping of the Day

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Vanessa Hudgens went Grocery shopping, you know because living up to being Vaness Pudgens and her recent lesbian haircut and weight gain, requires eating….a lot….and sometimes watching bitches grocery shop is highly erotic…some of my greatest masturbation memories I reflect on while violating myself are about bitched in leggings buying fruit or meat….I’m weird like that…but where else is there a steady flow of women you can watch all day….exactly…

That said, I prefer when Hudgens is doing underage, fully bushed, smutty self shot pics…but here is her round ass anyway…

Posted in:Vanessa Hudgens

2011

30

Nov

Karlie Klass Ass in Vogue Italia 2011 of the DAy

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Victoria’s Secret made a big deal about flat chested and Monkey faced Karlie Klass from the mid-west or wherever the fuck she’s from…They made it seem like they pulled her out of a Walmart or chain family restaurant and gave her to opportunity to live up to every little girl’s dream….according to the other “Angels” who seem to think every little girl dreams about being a lingerie model whore on display as an object with push up bras on….but the reality is she’s been a model for years, she was picked from a major agency, like Lily Aldridge, she’s been doing this model thing for a while, but I guess mainstream america who watches that informercial shit doesn’t know much about that…they just know “Them there bitches in panties look good while I drink my beer in my redneck shitty trailer that’s in foreclosure….”….USA Motherfuckers…….

Posted in:Karlie Klass

2011

30

Nov

Constance Jablonski Fetish Pics for Fashion of the Day

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Her name is Constance Jablonski and she is a model…who is doing some fetish/latex/BDSM inspired photoshoot for high fashion…because fashion is softcore porn…that is disguised as art…and that is some genius shit that I wish I thought of…because it gets girls naked who otherwise wouldn’t be naked….not that she’s naked…but she probably will be soon…cuz that just comes with modeling….they sacrifice their body for the high concept you can jerk off to….Works for me…

Posted in:Constance Jablonski

2011

30

Nov

Miley Cyrus in a Throwback See Thru of the Day

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Here’s some shitty pictures from some homosexual campaign of Miley Cyrus in some semi-see through but totally not erotic shirt unless it is old and she’s 16 in the shit cuz 16 year olds aren’t supposed to be in see through shirts, they are supposed to be wholesome and not fucking even though their periods and natural capacity of being able to give birth paints a different fucking picture…but fuck biology and genetics…instead follow arbitrary rules of what someone decided is right or wrong…like gay marriage….teen brides are a cause we should all get behind….and petition…you perverts have rights too damnit…

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2011

30

Nov

stepNEWS of the Day

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The best news feed on the internet according to me and some dude on twitter is this fucking post….it will change your useless life and motivate you to do something with yourself like become a pornstar who becomes a teacher, or getting arrested and using that as a platform for your comedy, and whatever else is in this list of today’s top news stories according to us….

I love it….

Massachusetts Teacher Was A Porn Star
Kevin Hogan is an English teacher and crew coach at a top-rated Massachusetts public high school, but he brings some unusual experience to the job: until recently, he was starring in pornographic movies.

Arrested Man Makes Joke During Perp Walk
A Pennsylvania man wanted to be funny after being arrested for driving a stolen car.

Woman Steals Christmas Trees From Boy Scouts
A Missouri woman was caught on video taking two Christmas tree, for the third year in a row

Man FIres Gun At Occupy Houston
A gunman frustrated over personal issues opened fire at the Occupy Houston camp

Family Gets Lost on Christmas Tree Hunt
A Colorado family got lost on their quest to find the perfect Christmas tree.

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

30

Nov

Uma Thurman’s Got Fat Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

Unlike Tarantino, I do not find Uma Thurman hot. She’s built like a fucking tank. Her hands are big enough to make even the biggest dick look like it is tiny and getting jerked off by a jolly green giant, a fetish to some, but not to me, cuz as a dude with a small penis, I only hire hookers with deformed hands, you know all underdeveloped and the size of a 5 year olds’….not that it matters, she’s showing cleavage, and that’s all you sick fucks care about, you’d fuck a AIDS baby in africa without a condom if it had a set of fucking implants.

You disgust me.

Posted in:Uma Thurman

2011

30

Nov

Jessica Simpson is Still Pregnant and Fat of the Day

4 Comments »

You know how some people call pregnant chicks “Glowing” or say how radiantly beautiful they are as they make the life changing transition from girl to woman…you know on the mission her biology has planned for her ever since she got her period…and you think to yourself “disgusting” or “scary” or “why the fuck do people jerk off to ready to drop porn”….but then you come across a hot pregnant chick, and it all suddenly makes sense, and you get it and understand what they have been talking about….well, Jessica Simpson isn’t that girl, if anything, she’s the disgusting kind that makes you fear having a family of your own cuz you’d have to face that fatness for 9 months, telling your wife you’re better off adopting, or better yet, divorcing your wife and turning to a life of fucking hookers…

Here’s Jessica Simpson looking like some kind of clown….

Posted in:Jessica Simpson

2011

30

Nov

Katherine Heigl’s Double Chin of the Day

2 Comments »

I’ve been calling Katherine Heigl a fat pig of a woman who doesn’t deserve any fame, attention, or jobs unless she’s working the cash at Walmart since I first found out who Katherine Heigl was….I would get backlash from people, who I guess were Grey’s Anatomy fans, saying how sick I was and how beautiful she was and how great her tits were, not knowing it was all diversion from her actual sloppy self and all I gotta say is that this double chin don’t lie….she’s fat, I’m always right, fuck you. Stop masturbating and make something of your life. Loser.

Posted in:Katherine Heigl

2011

30

Nov

Kate Beckinsale’s a Hot Mom in a White Dress of the Day

2 Comments »

Part of me hates Kate Beckinsale, because she’s some icon to 30 year old nerds everywhere who sexually harrassed themselves to the point of being sex offenders while watching her in Underworld…but then I look at her and she is just so fantastic looking that it not only amazes me that she is a mom, defying all logic that comes to ripped open vaginas spilling all over the floor, but that she’s not more famous than she is…cuz when I see the ugly shit that Hollywoodland shits out and onto the screen….but at least she’s at events wearing virginal white dresses in pictures….cuz let’s face it, that’s good enough for me….

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale