DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sierra Ferrell Brings the Weirdo Nudes of the Day

Sahara Ray Sucks Dick of the Day

Demi Moore’s Dinosaur Tits of the Day

X-Tina Aguilera’s Porn Tits of the Day

Julianne Hough’s White Bikini of the Day

2011

Nov

Paula Patton on the Cover of Complex of the Day

No Comments »

Her name is Paula Patton and I really have never heard of her before, but unlike a normal celebrity blogger, who actually cares about this shit, I am unable to recognice 90 percent of bitches the paparazzi, magazines, etc, take pictures of….I don’t remember names, faces, nothing….and if I was in a bar with one of them, I’d only know them if I was told who they were…I don’t know why, it could the the drinking, or the not caring, but I think I’m just retarded…I mean how can you write non-sense about non-sense so many times and not retain any of it….I must be lying to myself and I must actually know she’s older….I’m talking45. She’s mixed race like she was Halle Berry, she was a producer on Discovery Channel….then she got to acting in some shit I’ve never seen like Law & Order SVU, then she got married to Allen Thicke from Growing Pain…and Canada’s son….then she got to getting pregnant by him….then she got to starring in Mission Impossible…and now she’s hard nippled and looking good in Complex….Shit….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE HOT FUCKING PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Paula Patton

2011

Nov

Sofia Vergara Titty Window on her Dress in Miami of the Day

No Comments »

Sofia Vergara is known for her breasts…in fact I think she is only known for her breasts. I think her breasts are what carried her….while she carried her breast that I wish we being suckled in my mouth….cuz they look so wholesome, nutritious and capable of success you will never know….

The only other possibility is drug lords from Colombia, possible baby daddy or family ran drug cartels that brought all the cocaine into Hollywood, a place that is likely the number one cocaine using state in America….and some producers, high powered producers, who needed the pure shit…made a little trade off to keep their testicles…but I won’t go there, cuz I’d like to keep my testicles and prefer them not knowing I know cuz it is not like I care or would do any further research on the shit…in fact I don’t know anything about that world…but I’m assuming that was the only way broken english with the big tits ended up on TV…..

But then again…maybe it was jus her big tits….that she’s sharing with the world via a window with a cleavage view in Miami….retracing her steps from whore to hollywood I guess….cuz it was just 25 years ago when she was a little hispanic single mother with big tits on a raft in Miami’s port….Look at her now….old, hot enough from the right angle, and not as dumpy as her big tits would make you think..unless she’s in a corset…cuz she’s got a dream….and she’s gonna ride it as long as her genes can….and I’ll happily watch..

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2011

Nov

Darlene’s See Through Shirt of the Day

No Comments »

This could have been far more unfortunate, not that a see through shirt is every unfortunate, exceptt maybe in Darlene’s case, cuz if she was not wearing the white undershirt, we could have been exposed to all Darlene’s upper body had to offer, which is something I am not sure I’m into or ready for…

I used to watch Roseanne and gag at how white trash live on the regular and even in my 20s, when I was raging to fuck, I couldn’t stomach her face – everytime she got on screen I’d be like “EWWWW, things like that exist, she’s an alien….an alien….”….ok maybe I’m exagerating and sure, I have fucked way worst than this, but for some reason, watching that show, even today, I couldn’t look at her as something I ever wanted to fuck even though I’d fuck a bowl of potato salad….maybe I could smell the lesbian on her and I fucking hate lesbians….cuz they are never hot college co-eds you want them to be…

But as a pervert, I would want to watch her fuck…either way, here she is in one of the least erotic posts I’ve ever posted ever cuz they feature Darlene the least erotic person ever.

If her scissoring vagina rubbing together sex was a song, it would be called the Monster Mash…

Posted in:Darlene

2011

Nov

Crazy L.A. Woman Hallucinating She’s Having Sex With Jesus of the Day

3 Comments »

Homeless crazy drunk people are my favorite….This is a glimpse of why I talk to every homeless person I can….I get them doing stunts for a dollar as often as I can…because their crazy is so crazy it’s amazing…it inspires…and for some sick reason, I can relate to it…

Here is some crazy bitch who thinks she’s having sex with Jesus….and I’ll tell you she can have sex with Jesus Martinez….anytime….

Posted in:Viral Video

2011

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Girls Open a Store in Puerto Rico of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t really get off to shout outs to Puerto Rico by models in helicopter flying to the store opening….if anything it annoys me because it is some stupid fucking shit…that feature girls who are supposed to be fucking naked or half naked and not conversing on camera like this….

I am more into watching Adriana Lim and her hot mom body dancing like an idiot…

But I figured I have no choice but to fall into their evil corporate trap that manipulates me with women I want to fuck and by getting them half naked….I’m a slave like that…

TO See THe Rest of the Pics of them In Store Showing Some Hard Nipple….
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Alessandra Ambrosio|Erin Heatherton

2011

Nov

Paris Hilton Cum Glaze Face of the Day

2 Comments »

Paris Hilton’s natural tan looks about right…orange enough to inspire the vapid Jersey Shore retards…..something I think she did a long time ago without realizing it…because there is no way those trashy stripper pigs aren’t the direct result of Paris Hilton’s influence in the media….and shiny enough to looklike she’s been glazed with semen like the whore that she is…..and really it’s supposed to be good for your skin…at least that’s what I tell every girl I try to give facials to, even though ever porn chick has some of the shitties skin….it doesn’t mattter her are the pics…

Posted in:Paris Hilton

2011

Nov

Donatella Versace Hot, Old, Plastic Faced Porn Granny of the Day

3 Comments »

Just earlier today I was out getting coffee, pondering the rich plastic woman in front of me, and how lady ass loses its roundess as it gets older…slowly melting away into menopause no matter how much botox she jacks up her face with…and for some reason…I got hard.

So I was very happy to come home to these pictures of Donatella Versace, a bitch rocking the same look to jerk off to….

Now I know, the hottest thing about Donatella Versace, I mean besides with the plastic face that looks like every rich woman with fake blonde hair, from pornstar to real housewife, is her anorexic daughter ALLEGRA VERSACE , who looks like a pile of bones I want to fuck, knowing it’ll be too weak to fuck back, cuz corpse is the new fat chick, kinda thing….

But since I only have pics of the tacky, plastic, porn looking mom at the launch of some new H&M co-brand, you know cuz Allegra was too busy starving herself at home to attend, I’ll just post the pics of the mom, for those of you weird enough to get off to this old, plastic, rich looking disgustingness….and god knows I love all things disgusting….

Posted in:Donatella Versace

2011

Nov

Kylie Minogue’s Breast Cancer Survivor Tits in Purple of the Day

No Comments »

Breast Cancer is the single worst enemy to man kind, it’s worse than terrorism, it’s worst than poverty, it’s worse than aids and heart disease….It kills fucking titties…so if you think girls getting their breasts amputated, only to have free implants installed in their place, after months or years of suffering, and often times death, is a bad thing…and if you don’t you’re just a fucking inhumane sick fuck….you’ll appreciate these pics of survivor Kylie Minogue looking amazing in a low cut top….alll old yet tight…like it was still ’89….

Posted in:Kylie Minogue

2011

Nov

Kristen Stewart Classes Up the Trash Some Black Dress of the Day

1 Comment »

It’s always nice to see the trashy inbred girl with the wonky face in the trailer park you grew up with…you know the weird quiet one who would run home everytime her drunk dad called her name out of fear he’d beat the shit out of her….even though she knew he’d nurse her wounds back to health with his dick…like the sick inbred, white trash, drunk he is…..make her way out of the ghetto, and into some black fancy dress, all celebrity and shit…it’s like she’s won the lottery or sold her soul to the devil or more likely she’s terminally ill, at least based on her skin color, and this is some MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION shit that’s stuck….

Who knows, people like her, and I’ll post the pics.

Posted in:Kristen Stewart

2011

Nov

Stacy Keibler Ass at the Airport of the Day

No Comments »

Stacy Keibler is so happy that her career that eneded a few years ago with Dancing With the Stars is making a comeback now that she’s either fucking Clooney, or pretending to fuck Clooney, cuz Clooney is rumored to be a poofter, and these bitches are rumored to be low level who sign contracts and do the pretend girlfriend for the exposure…Hollywood is a business after all….a business that has left Keibler happy as shit people are standing outside her house with camera, and following her to the airport, so happy she’s letting them snap off the ass shots…a rare fucking event in the paprazzi world…since they are all on celeb payroll and have rules to follow if they want to get paid…but maybe Keibler’s not at that level yet…who cares, here’s her ass and her long strong leg.

Posted in:Stacy Keibler