I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2011

11

Feb

Jennifer Aniston’s Dried Up Uterus Turns 42 of the Day

I always like celebrating Jennifer Aniston birthdays cuz it’s always one day closer to her hitting menopause and missing out on the chance of reproducing. Sure she can always adopt a kid going into her 50s, but it’s never the same as having your own, if it was, adopted kids wouldnt be so fucked up. It’s a you snooze you lose, you fucking egotistical cunt who thinks you are hotter than you are cuz Brad Pitt married you, situation that brings me great pleasure in every break-up her self absorbed, unrealistically high standard, probably very high maintenance ass has…I can just tell she thinks she’s god’s gift to the fucking world…so her failures bring joy. Happy Birthday….RIP Uterus…the circle of life or some shit…keeping everything balanced except maybe her emotions..

Keep pushing up them tits – it’ll lure the baby daddy’s in as effectively as it did before…GOOD TIMES….

Posted in:Jennifer Aniston

2011

11

Feb

RIP WINK of the Day

Selma Blair’s one-eyed dog who, despite his disibility, still saw his fair share of Selma Blair bullshit…from seeing her get knocked up with the baby she’s carrying, to seeing her taking a shit, or puking up dinner, to seeing her cheat on her boyfriend, to seeing her masturbate, to seeing her do drugs and other bad things, to seeing her shit eating weird habits , to eating her panties, to really just being the best damn friend Selma Blair could have since he didn’t judge her failed career, or any of that, he still loved her and licked her special places with or without peanut butter ….

You had a good run, you will be missed,, at least by Selma Blair, your loyal master who was probably better to you than the pount, here she is devastated in these pictures after your execution.

Posted in:Selma Blair

2011

11

Feb

Ivana Trump Old Lady Bikini Pictures of the Day

This should be enough reason to never crave growing old with a bitch cuz when they grow old they become disgusting….because lets face it as long as there’s a pussy, dried up, atrophic, infertile and menopausal or not, there’s still a fucking pussy…and really not worrying about pregnancy, the friction of dry lip, the grey pubic hair and loosened collagen making a war torn eastern europe she escaped relived in her panties can be a little exhilerating to have every once in a while, especially if it bakes you cookis like the granny you never head…

Seriously, look at her thigh, if that looks like that, I can’t imagine what she’s hiding in her boxy bodied bikini bottoms…but I’m sure it’s a lot like a science experiment gone wrong….

The idea of waking up next to this on a regular basis…scares me…even if she pays a decent salary…I mean the taste, smells and visuals she comes with are a fucking nightmare….

So here’s Ivana Trump, an ex model, richer than fucking God, and still looking like a bloated, melting disaster….and me proving that I have no standards….something I’ve done countless times before…

Let’s hope she does Playboy cuz I’m in love…or maybe I just want her to put on a snowsuit…you know get back to her pro skiing roots…I’m so confused by this…I hate you internet..

Posted in:Ivana Trump

2011

11

Feb

stepNEWS of the Day

Here is the latest in stepNEWS…I am sure you’ve all been waiting for this shit all day…you know cuz it is your favorite feature I do here…that’s why I get all the fan mail about this shit…and by fan mail I mean requests to stop posting the stepNEWS cuz you want more tit…

Burglars Steel Bike from One-armed Man
On Tuesday night thieves stole a specially equipped bike from a one-armed man while he stopped in a convenience store.

Butt Implant Suspect May Be Transgender
Police cleared one person on Thursday in the death of a British woman after a butt injection, but they may be looking for a fake transgender doctor in the case.

Disabled pitcher cut from baseball team
Stan Patterson says 16-year-old Anthony Burruto is a great athlete who has been recognized by ESPN. Stan designed Anthony’s prosthetic legs and recently video taped him pitching.

Sometimes the news is about teaching us what is right and wrong – so here’s my Public Service Message of the DAy

Posted in:stepNEWS

2011

11

Feb

Candice Swanepoel Shorts for True Religion of the Day

Candice Swanepoel, who is probably the model with the most hype of the year, was hired by True Religion , as the face of the brand, which was probably a pretty smart move, cuz now such fashion forward sites like DrunkenStepfather.com are writing about the news cuz we like seeing the bitch in short shorts and exposing her stomach but not as much as we like seeing her fully naked ….

I write too much about this bitch , it’s like shit happens every fucking day, I’d rather be giving her a sponge bath with my tongue, but I guess I take what I can get….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2011

11

Feb

Kate Moss Fucks Purses for Longchamps of the Day

I found a new fetish….aging models who probably have AIDS thanks to needle sharing rockstar ex boyfriends who don’t shower….posing suggestively with purses….making me want to fill them up with unnecessary things….like my genitals….

Kate Moss is hot, any way you dice it and I’m just happy to be staring at new pictures of her nipples, cuz bitch cleans up nicely, but still brings the gutter looking stinky bitch you’d expect to pay 5 dollars for a blowjob in her spare time, making her a well-balanced perfection…

Here she is for Longchamp , the purse people.

No they aren’t paying me the million dollars they are paying the fashion magazines, even though more people see it here.

I’m officially scammed by Longchamp .

Enjoy…the pics…

Posted in:Kate Moss

2011

11

Feb

Some Big Tit Friday Big Tit Weirdness of the Day

I can’t land advertisers cuz I post nipples on the site, so I should make this whole site about nipples…cuz really I’m already being punished for the shit by not making the millioms I think I deserve so I might as well not hold back on my posts…not that I really do…but I don’t want a porn site, but naked bitches aren’t really porn to me…but then again what is porn….to some people clothed bitches are porn…sexuality is just a weird thing that one thing is funny or weird to one that is normal and erotic to another or offensive to another…you just can’t please everyone..

I’m sure there are people who jerk off to fox news, or huffington post, or google image searches for flowers…you know what I mean…so many grey areas and as far as I’m concerned – this video is safe for always…

I am hoping there’s no one jerking off to this shit though….cuz it’s disgusting…I blame nuclear warfare….but that you Asia for not only making my soiled sweatpants, but also for making me my day.

Posted in:amateur

2011

11

Feb

JWOWW in a See Through Dress of the Day

JWOWW did some fashion show for Richie Rich. He normally uses Pam Anderson, but I guess since the milk in her fake tits is expired, he went for someone with a little more of a name, something that make Pam Anderson want to kill herself, cuz being replaced by JWOWW is a fate worse than death….proving that all you need in America is a set of fake tits to get by….talent, substance and intelligence don’t matter…but then again…what the fuck do I know, JWOWW is the published author, not me.

Posted in:JWOWW

2011

11

Feb

Oliva Wilde Does Flaunt Magazine For Diesel of the Day

This confuses me. I think it’s an ad for Diesel that they are running on Flaunt magazine in some kind of paid co-brand that I don’t understand, cuz I’m not a business man, or a business, man. I still rob my wife blind for drinking money and as pathetic as it sounds, I’m the one not wearing pants who just woke up after passing out at 6 am wasted with my pants around my ankles talking to 18 year old sluts in other timezones on Skype…I’m internation without even leaving my couch…I’ve been to Australia, Europe, Africa and Asia…See the fucking world in webcam slut vagina….if that’s not culture, I don’t know what is….maybe Oliva Wilde is…you know cuz she named herself after the most cliche writer she could think of…I’m changing my name to Jesus Twain…I think people will respond better to me.

Posted in:Olivia Wilde

2011

10

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

Please send me hate mail and or pictures of your wife, sister, daughter who is 18, girlfriend, neighbor you stalk, wife….anyone…naked.

I’m bored….and it’s time for you to give back for all the useless nonsense I’ve brought you the last decade…or 6 years that happen to feel like a fucking decade….good thing I’m drunk most of the time…or I’d be depressed with how I’m as stagnant as swamp breeding westnile virus….or what I like to call Lohan’s dyke pussy….

Not that it matters….Here are my stepLINKS….cuz they matter.

If This Story About Jennifer Aniston Banning Heidi Montag From a Movie Premiere is True, She Just Got Ten Thousand Times Cooler in My Book
GO

Fuck Natalie Portman, Ms Swan as Black Swan Deserves the Oscar! – VIDEO
GO

The 50 Hottest Pictures of Irina Shayk
GO

Because These Sluts Will Help You Make It Through The Week
GO

Candice Swanepoel, Erin Heatherton And Lily Aldridge Get Sexy Together
GO

Dita Von Tease or Camille Alves? Who Would You Rather?
GO

Paintball Gun up the HooHaaa (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian And Taylor Swift Want To Have Sex With Justin Bieber
GO

Because Toys Make Even Adult Games More Fun
GO

UK TV Hostess Lizzie Cundy No Panty Upskirt
GO

Blake Lively is Cleavage-y
GO

48 Whale Tale Moments
GO

Salma Hayeks Tits Are Insane
GO

Tit Flash for Faster Service (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

If You Didn’t Already Want to Kill Victoria Beckham, You Will Want to After Reading This
GO

When Backyard Wrestling Goes Very Wrong – vIDEO
GO

Meet Justine Bieber – VIDEO
GO

Carli Banks is Flexible (NSFW)
GO

Crystal Lee Brings the Hotness
GO

Selena Gomez Thinks Shes a Rapper – VIDEO
GO

Towel Dance Striptease (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

Karlie Montana and Samantha Ryan Get Nasty
GO

Supermodel Izabel Goulart Topless
GO

January Jones Brings the Hotness
GO

How About Some Self Fisting? (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

God I Love Stephen Colbert – VIDEO
GO

I Love a Cute Little Blonde
GO

Z-List Reality TV Star Natalie Getz Hits Venice Beach!
GO

Hot Teen Friends on the Web Cam (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Nicole Richie is Leggy
GO

How About Some Summer Boobs? (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Iga Wyrwal Looks Hot in All Black
GO

The 7 Best TV Characters Who Are Technically Alcoholics
GO

WHAT THE FUCK -> Couple Arrested For Locking Their Child In A Bathroom For Six Years
GO

Let’s Laugh at the Kardashians
GO

Miley Cyrus. A Little Bra And Tattoo Action
GO

Would You Bang This Underage Prostitute? Probably.
GO

Vanessa Hudgens Is All Wet, Diiirty And Spread Wide
GO

Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS