DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2011

07

Jan

Anna Paquin’s Lesbian Pantyhose Legs of the Day

Anna Paquin is not hot in any way. I don’t care how many hit shows, or cult classics she gets her dyke ass on, she’s fuckin disgusting, which would explain her lesbianism….

See, there’s nothing I hate more than lesbians and that’s only because lesbians hate me and have always hated me. I like to think it’s because I always make fun of them, you know pulling out my dick in front of them, offering to father their child, cuz I don’t believe lesbian actually exist….to me it’s a fucking myth….

Sure, there are bitches who choose a cockless life cuz they want to, whether because they hate men cuz men molested them, raped them, or was mean to them or men hate them cuz they are fat and ugly and need someone to get them , or if it’s cuz they think it is trendy and cool to dress like a lumberjack, gain 50 lbs and shave your dyke construction boot wearing head, but they are all just overcompensating, cuz lesbianism doesn’t exist…

I know for a fact that biologically, a woman craves having a baby and that indirectly means she craves a cock….

Dykes choose to be dykes, or are forced into it for lack of cock willing to get them, and I think they hate that I know their little bullshit scam…

Either way, Anna Paquin knows lesbianism is bullshit, cuz I just remembered she’s not a dyke, she’s bi, so here are her bi-sexual legs, short and unattractive even to the pantyhose fetishists, because it’s a slow fucking day.

Seriously, why the fuck did I just post this? Oh right, to rip into lesbians cuz they are full of shit and to seduce True Blood fans into the site….cuz seriously, these pics are definitely not hot.

Posted in:Anna Paquin

2011

07

Jan

Rihanna’s Leather Pants of the Day

3 Comments »

Tight leather pants make for a stinky fucking pussy….This has been one of my more intellectual posts of all time…you know one that really inspires and makes you think about the state of all vaginas in these leather looking plastic pants that you know is not breathable, leading to all kinds of shit, I’d probably be more than happy to burry my face into….cuz I’m a vagina loving pervert. I love vagina so much sometimes I wonder what pussy was like on a generational level…I’m talking did caveman pussy smell the same as pussy that Jesus ate or as the pussy Joan of Arc ate, or as Old West Brothel pussy, and how does that compare to modern day pussy or even pussy from prohibition era…It’s a problem…

Posted in:Rihanna

2011

07

Jan

Claudia Schiffer’s Asian Umbrella Holder of the Day

3 Comments »

Fany pants! You know you’ve made it when you can take a little Asian man away from his convenience store/sweatshop/computer programming, to work as your personal umbrella holder, cuz everyone with money knows holding your umbrella is ungodly, uncomfortable, and almost embarrassing, you know for common folk, and anyone who’s anyone has a poor immigrant do it, to strip him of all dignity he once had out of him…

Here’s ex-model/David Copperfield Trick, Claudia Schiffer showing us how the other side lives….This must be what Rihanna was singing about…Now I get it….

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer

2011

07

Jan

Is this J.Woww Topless?? of the Day

18 Comments »

My good friend Mahmoud, who I have never met or spent time with, discussing politics or the muslim faith over ham sandwiches, emailed me and a handful of other sites who don’t trade traffic with me, asking if this was J.Woww.

It is supposed to be 3 years ago, when she was 23 and I’ve never seen Jersey Shore, since I feel it is the devil’s work, and I wouldnt know if it was or wasn’t, but figure you’re into this kind of thing and you will have the answers oh mighty pervert reader I know doesn’t actually exist but in a figment of my imagination…..

So the question of the day is is this J.Woww’s tits or not. I’m going with no, however the girl in the pics is definitely equally lame, cheesy and ready for her Ed Hardy and bottle of Goose to dance on tables and show everyone her gutter thonged drunk ass, from the fake Chanel to the white ink heart tattoo, we know that if this isn’t J.Woww, we’re dealing with one of her kind….some stripper looking trash….I’d expect to be topless…all the time…to feed her illegitimate babies…

Update: Mahmoud just sent this in, if you are wondering the source of the video, that Mahmoud has all the answers….

This was from a Girls Gone Wild best of video called “TOP 50 BESt BREASTs EVER” she was number 36.

Update from Mahmoud – Who has really been investigating this:

I got this reply from Girls Gone Wild V.P.:

“thanks for the email but that is not JWow. We know who the girl is that you sent pictures of and have confirmed her identity. Thanks for trying and keep watching Girls Gone Wild.”

Posted in:J Woww

2011

07

Jan

Amy Winehouse Voyeur Bikini Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

Everyone likes to hate on Amy Winehouse, or point and laugh at Amy Winehouse, when I got nothing but love and respect for her…People hate on her for doing drugs, if I was in her position and getting paid stupid money to do something as easy as singing, I’d be doing drugs all night too. People hate on the fact that her teeth were falling out, well last I checked she was from the UK and they all have that issue. I’ve seen X-Factor, I know how you British people are talking all fancy out of mouths that smell like death…Then went off about how she was unshowered and looked like she was rotting….well let me tell you some of the best prostitutes I’ve been with in my time, protected or unprotected cuz it feels better and I like taking risks, have looks and smelled like a corpse and we’ve had some pretty good times…

What it all comes down to is where else do you find a soulful voice of a seasoned black woman singing Jazz in some smokey club in the 60s with nice big fake tits, lots of money with total irresponsibility and the face of a fucking goblin….

Amy Winehouse is a dream…and don’t take my word for it, check out these amazing voyeur bikini pics….I think I’m in love…no wait, I know I am.

Black guys get what I am saying……

Posted in:Amy Winehouse

2011

06

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

Some hater was trying to tell me off on FACEBOOK the other day. He was going on about how lame I am, how pathetic I am and how repetitive I am and how shitty my stories and jokes are.

He asked me how long before all my “readers” would get bored of the site and stop visiting, leaving me all alone with my boring and repetitive thoughts….he logged off before I had to a chance to answer….

So I figured I’d answer here, the site is 6 years and 2 months old. The content got tired and boring probably 2 days in. So it’s been old and played out for 6 years, but luckily I have no readers left to get bored of my nonsense, I’m in this alone.

Here are my stepLINKS….

Jaime Pressly’s Mug Shot Cuz I Love Drunk Used-To-Be Hot Before I Got Old Bitches with Drinking Problems who Get Caught
GO

The Single Most Pathetic Tattoo of the Century….Seriously, This Better be a Fucking Joke….Disgusting and Really, Really Weird….
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I Get Bitches in Style…
GO

Jessica Szohr Wearing Nothing But Paint OMG
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If Mel Gibson Really Beat Oksana Grigorieva During Sex, I Hope For Everyone’s Sake Involved (Me) They at Least Filmed It
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Young Teen Films Herself (NSFW) – VIDEO
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Because We All Gotta Get Our Rocks Off and It Doesn’t Matter How (NSFW)
GO GO

Glad to See Rehab Did Well For Lindsay Lohan and By Did Well I Mean Did Fuck All Because Reports Are Coming Out That She Was On Drugs While There
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Naked Ballerina Perfection (NSFW)
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Sorority Girls Do a Stupid as Fuck Rap That Should Be More Half Naked – Seriously This Makes Me Hate Sorority Girls A Lot….
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Classic Sara Jean Underwood in a Bikini Pictures
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NFL Sexiest Cheerleaders: Playoff Edition
GO GO

UK Reality Star Amy Childs Boobs Are On the Verge of Popping Out
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Caption This! You Say Drums In the Bathroom Like Is a Weird Thing
GO GO

Let’s Hear It For Hotties Wearing Glasses (NSFW)
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And More Shots of Kelly Rowland Being See Through With Her New Implants
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How About a Naked Ballerina? (NSFW) – VIDEO
GO GO

And Here’s Some 32J – Yes, That’s 32J – Boobs that You’ll Probably Enjoy (NSFW)
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How Amazing Will It Be in This Story About Angelina Jolie Being a Heroin Addict Are True?
GO GO

If You Ever Needed Proof That Girls Fart – VIDEO
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Nyla B Will Get Your Libido Going
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Warm Up Your Winter: Hottest Celebrity Bikini Bodies
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Lucky Lesbians Robyn Truelove & Dani Jensen (NSFW)
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Congratulations to Nigeria and the Success of Their First Porn Movie!
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Kaydan Kross Strips Down (NSFW) – VIDEO
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Some Gabrielle Union Hotness
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OMG I HAVE NEVER WANTED A PIECE OF KERI HILSON AS MUCH AS I DO AT THIS MOMENT
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Busty Teen Brittany (NSFW) – VIDEO
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Nicole Scherzinger Does FHM
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Striptease of the Day
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Briana Lee in Chocolate and Cream – NSFW
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The Ten Commandments of the Strip Club
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Jaime Pressly Arrested for DUI: Mug Shot Photo
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Selena Gomez Has A Bangable Ass And Here It Is…
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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Is Fuck Worthy Don’t You Agree?
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Lady Gaga’s Make-Up Malfunction
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Zac Effron Banging Rumer Willis, Sure That Makes Sense cuz She Looks like a Dude….
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Kelly Rowlan Has Nice Fake Tits And She’s Letting Us See Them
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A Hilary Duff Crotch Shot…I See Runway….
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Some More Katy Perry Tits at the People’s Choice Awards….
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Follow Me On FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2011

06

Jan

Rosie Huntington-Whitely in a Bikini of the Day

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Here’s the new Megan Fox looking like Britney Spears in some white trash looking necklace that doubles as a belt that she must have picked up at the flea market or sex shop before heading out on vacation with her bald old man boyfriend….and she’s wearing a bikini which is really all that matters here….

To See The Rest of the Pictures – Follow This Link
GO

Posted in:Rosie Huntington-Whitely

2011

06

Jan

The People’s Choice Awards Happened and I Don’t Care of the Day

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I don’t watch this smut. I can’t handle awards shows created by the industry who creates these “artists”…even if they pretend the people chose, because really no one I know voted, leading me to think the people who did were not representative of reality, but of a niche gang of losers with no friends that no one cares about, looking for entertainment cuz knitting and crying themselves too sleep is getting boring.

I hate these things, but Here’s a recap I wrote based on pictres…

Ashley Tisdale was Ugly as always, Jennifer Aniston Lonely cuz no one wants to have a baby with her, Kayley Cuoco did it for John Ritter cuz he’s dead, Katy Perry brought her tits cuz they are all that matters when it comes to Katy Perry, Kritsten Stewart was Skinny White Trash with Cankles who was fucked by her dad growing up, Mila Kunis left her Culkin Aids back to die alone making her single and ready for me to fantasize about her, Minka Kelly is Not the Hottest Bitch in the World depsite what magazines say and either is Leighton Meester even though her criminal halfway house mom tells her she is to motivate her to suck more dick to get to the top, Natalie Portman busted out her maternity wear and so did Queen Latifah, Selena Gomez Smelled of Beiber Cum cuz teenagers these days know how to party, and Taylor Swift’s ass was still sore cuz Gyllenhaal only fucks the gay way in memory of his fallen love Heath Ledger….cuz he’s gay…and the rest of the trash was not worth mentioning, even if their pictures were worth posting cuz they looked like fucking shit or worth cumming on their tits….I’ll let you come to your own conclusion and that’s all I have to say about the People’s Choice Awards, which turned out to be a lot for someone who claims he doesn’t care….

People’s Choice
The People’s Choice Awards Happened and I Don’t Care of the Day

I don’t watch this smut. I can’t handle awards shows created by the industry who creates these “artists”…even if they pretend the people chose, because really no one I know voted, leading me to think the people who did were not representative of reality, but of a niche gang of losers with no friends that no one cares about, looking for entertainment cuz knitting and crying themselves too sleep is getting boring.

I hate these things, but Here’s a recap I wrote based on pictres…

Ashley Tisdale was Ugly as always, Jennifer Aniston Lonely cuz no one wants to have a baby with her, Kayley Cuoco did it for John Ritter cuz he’s dead, Katy Perry brought her tits cuz they are all that matters when it comes to Katy Perry, Kritsten Stewart was Skinny White Trash with Cankles who was fucked by her dad growing up, Mila Kunis left her Culkin Aids back to die alone making her single and ready for me to fantasize about her, Minka Kelly is Not the Hottest Bitch in the World depsite what magazines say and either is Leighton Meester even though her criminal halfway house mom tells her she is to motivate her to suck more dick to get to the top, Natalie Portman busted out her maternity wear and so did Queen Latifah, Selena Gomez Smelled of Beiber Cum cuz teenagers these days know how to party, and Taylor Swift’s ass was still sore cuz Gyllenhaal only fucks the gay way in memory of his fallen love Heath Ledger….cuz he’s gay…and the rest of the trash was not worth mentioning, even if their pictures were worth posting cuz they looked like fucking shit or worth cumming on their tits….I’ll let you come to your own conclusion and that’s all I have to say about the People’s Choice Awards, which turned out to be a lot for someone who claims he doesn’t care….

Posted in:People's Choice

2011

06

Jan

Kim Kardashian’s Fat Ass and Mangled Face of the Day

2 Comments »

Apparently Kim Kardashian had botched botox, I say that’s just her gutter face…..doing some Michael Jackson stunts….

I say who cares about her face, all she’s good for is her fat whore pornstar ass that only fucks black guys…..

That’s all I have to say about that….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2011

06

Jan

Lindsay Lohan for Old Times of the Day

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There’s a bullshit staged scandal that Lohan moved next to Ronson and Ronson did know about it and Lohan isn’t gonna back down and move away because Lohan wants to be in Venice to familiarize herself with her surroundings so that when she runs out of money, she will know the best corners on the strip to busk for money on, you know a little song and dance performance next to the black guy with no teeth singing Bob Marley songs for tourists eating their hot dogs…….

The truth is that Lohan and Ronson are in on this together, because together, the media cares about them and apart they both fade in boring crackhead lesbian obscurity….

The whole thing is so tired and done that it makes me want to take a nap….I just know their hustle, I’ve met both of them and they are both lying bitches. True story.

Here are some pics of Lohan cuz the idea of her is better than the actual her…

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan