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2010

08

Nov

Brooke Burke in her Panties for Twitter of the Day

I don’t know about this Brooke Burke character. I just know she blocked me on twitter because I probably made a comment about how fucking boring she is.

I mean you’d want to think this bitch had some substance, or was interesting, because we have memories of her being on Wild On and in Playboy, but the truth is she’s just an empty vessel that carries around her fake tits…

She is an old mom of 4. Remember, with a serious fucking breeder comes a serious fucking breeder vagina.

Not that she has to worry about vagina – cuz based on these pics – she’s obviously obsessed with working out, cuz all I see when I see these pics are low estrogen levels, midget body builder legs, and silver panties….proving that sometimes, it’s better to keep your clothes on and instead of posting new pics of you trying to sex it up in the most desperate of way, post pics of your glory days, cuz that’s the only reason people care anyway….

This bitch is done…

Posted in:Brooke Burke

2010

08

Nov

Lindsay Lohan in Pantyhouse for Old Times of the Day

Lohan was wearing pantyhose and if you’re like me and are down with pantyhose cuz it reminds you of watching your foster mom change in the 80s, then you’ll probably like this. There’s just something magical about the darker toned upper portion of a pantyho’ especially when the panty is on a ho, not that Lohan is actually a prostitute by choice, it’s more of a born and bred into being one by her opportunistic parents, cuz mortgages suck and when you have a handful of kids, losing one to the temptations of success at a young age fueled by ego and emotional emptiness of having no love in her life, knowing you were just a pawn in a grand scheme to give her family a better life, but too self absorbed to care about the greater good of what she did for them, like the ability for them to wear designer clothes…and live in a really big house and not have to actually work…

Either way, I think she’s out of rehab by now, I figure she’s still addicted to drugs, I still love her tit and I don’t know or care about when these pictures are from, I’m just gonna post them anyway.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan

2010

08

Nov

Candice Swanpoel Modeling Lingerie of the Day

I wonder if bikini models only pose when they are on their periods and their tits are swollen. Is this something that the client factors into booking a shoot? If so what happens if the bitch isn’t regular, you know from not eating enough throughout the month to fit into the required clothing, leaving her depleted of enough nutrients to let her pussy bleed for a week….and I guess it doesn’t matter….It would just make for a messy pile of panties at the end of the shoot…a pile of panties I’d want to bury my face in…only because I know she left South Africa when she was still a virgin…unless she taken advantage at 15 by one of her father’s farm aids….who had AIDS….cuz that’s kinda the South African way….

Speaking of AIDS, announcing on a girl you want to fuck’s facebook that my ex’s biggest complain about me would be that I like surprises because I didn’t tell her my AIDS before unprotected sex….is not a good way to get a bitch to send you nudes…even if you pull the make a wish foundation angle…like that her nudes would be doing me a service…or the whole “it was just a joke” angle…It’s what I call digging a sexting grave.

Here are some pics of Sexy Sexy Hubba Bubba Candice Swanpoel in lingerie cuz shit’s better than decent…

Posted in:Candice Swanpoel

2010

08

Nov

Vanessa Minnillo in a Bikini of the Day

Apparently Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lechey are engaged.

They are back in Mexico, because they are always in Mexico, it is a popular place for them to fuck in the hot tub for the paparazzi….and cause a huge headache for everyone who posted the pictures because that was their private time and it was violated…but not as violated as the next couple who rented that villa after them and landed Hollywood grade herpes all over their face, eyes and mouth….cuz everyone in Hollywood has herpes, especially the ones who get married…cuz marriage is 90 percent a sign of settling with your partner because they diseased you or got pregnant, same thing….

And really who cares about these clowns…they are irrelevant…they only matter cuz of Jessica Simpson…and looking at her in a bikini is no different that lookin’ at any pussy in a bikini…cuz she’s just that much of a no name…whether she pulls Mexican spring break hot tub stunts from behind with frat boys lookin dudes or not….

To See The Rest of the LATEST Bikini Pics – Cuz the Paparazzi Hate Me
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To see the my archive of Vanessa Minnillo bikini posts…because she seems to always be in a bikini or at least that’s the only time pics of her are taken cuz I guess she’s got nothing else to do with her time and she’s got access to all that 98 degrees money to offer the good life……click these thumbnails…

Posted in:Vanessa Minnillo

2010

08

Nov

Sofia Vergara’s Big Tits On the Street of the Day

I know this is a very shitty see through picture of Sofia Vergara..but I am the kind of guy who thinks everything about Sofia Vergara is shitty…..

Sure she’s apparently got massive tits, but what good are they underwraps or in a bra. If anything, that shit is like a “Fuck You”, I’ve made it in your country and don’t need to be a whore anymore, you know like she didn’t use those tits to get where she is….

She was a single mother at 20, she’s now pushing 40…that’s 20 years of doing what she had to do to put food on the fucking table…and if you try to tell me there was no unwanted blowjob for advancement…you’re a fucking idiot.

I’m not down with that unless I’m on the receiving end, which never happens, cuz I have nothing to offer…so instead I just hate on the success those tits have brought her…and the lack of respect she’s giving them by hiding the truth…like her tits are some dirty little secret…when in reality it’s something we all already know…and she’s pretty much just walking tits to us anyway…she might as well embrace it.

Posted in:Sofia Vergara

2010

08

Nov

Halle Berry’s Has One Hard Mom Nipple of the Day

I don’t know what went on here on a medical level, I just know that she’s got one hard nipple. One nipple ready to feed her child, or a pervert like me, and the other one’s just slow to the fuckin’ gate…maybe it’s the retarded nipple, or the rogue nipple who does what he wants, or maybe he’s the nipple that was in an accident and hasn’t fully recovered….but what kind of an accident could a nipple be in….maybe he was bit off by one of her many gay looking lovers she marries and provides an unstable home for her daughter….or maybe shit’s just inverted, you know that whole inter-species mixing of genetics doesn’t always work out…just ask the lap dog who got knocked up by a pitbull next store…fucking thing can’t walk anymore…but more importantly, why did I make her nipples a “he”? Does that make me gay?

Either way, her awkward nipples are just like how she’s white as fuck on the inside and in everything she does and how she lives her life, but pushes the whole black on the outside when it comes to winning Academy awards…or maybe it’s not at all like that, but like to remind you of her scam every chance I can get….dude, I saw Catwoman recently and if that was a real Academy award winning actor and not just someone who the Academy was using to fill a quota, I probably wouldn’t have turned it off after cumming to her costume…She was and always should have been a Jessica Alba typecast for having tits kinda bitch…but she strayed and now she’s old…..and none of this answers

Posted in:Halle Berry

2010

08

Nov

Ashlee Simpson Has No Ass in Jeans of the Day

I don’t know where Ashlee Simpson left her ass, but I know it’s not in her pants. Maybe Jessica ate it when her team of chefs couldn’t make her a pulled pork sandwich at 4 am…cuz there were no 24 hour grocery stores around…but more importantly because they were ignoring her calls due to extreme exhaustion from all the work she’s been putting them through with her emotional eating that she’s embraced as part of who she is lately…It’s just not humanly possible to keep up with those kinds of demands….

The good news for Jessica is that country music chicks from Texas are allowed to be fat…instead of starving herself for the LA scene and the general public she turned her back on cuz we expect her to be the busty hot chick we used to jerk off to…country fans are more loyal, less superficial, and used to obesity…if you’ve ever been to Wal Mart in a Texan suburb, you’ll get what I’m saying….

The bad news for her is that she has to buy two seats on the plane when she travels commercial….

The good news for Ashlee is that genetics haven’t bogged her down and blown her up into a fucking big and she doesn’t have to drop the “baby weight” excuse every bitch uses….But the bad news for her is that she looks like a dude from behind…especially with the new haircut…which is great news for her husband Pete “Fall Out Boy” Wentz, you know cuz he’s gay and I guess that makes him the winner in all this.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson

2010

08

Nov

Mila Kunis Friends With Benefits Preview of the Day

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake were filmed or are filming a movie together called Friends with Benefits and despite being one of those movies that I could have written blindfolded with one hand behind my back and the other fingering my ass, because that’s how I’ve been writing this site the last 6 years and I’m experienced, and unlike the movie I never wrote but wanted to, this one looks like it is going to be a hit.

The reason it is going to be a hit is because she’s hot. Her character is the “cool chick” guys actually like hanging with and it’s about her fucking her friend Justin Timberlake casually and obviously having it blossom into a full romance. Obvious. But in obvious comes her in a bra, her getting eaten out, her cumming hard, her simulating sex, and it’s all pretty good to me…

Now if I only I could get over the fact that she has Culkin-AIDS.

Posted in:Mila Kunis

2010

08

Nov

Rachel Bilson’s Fat Manager of the Day

Behind every hot girl I want to fuck, there’s a fat chick. A fat chick who gets in the fucking way of me trying to trick, drug, seduce the hot girl I want to fuck into fucking…because for some reason I was always the guy who came along the night the fat chick decided she wanted dick and was tired of all the dick running to her hot friend…

You know the night the fat chick and her friends had a meeting before going out deciding that tonight was the fat chick’s night of glory and the hot girl was not going to get in the way of that….she was actually going to help the fat chick get cock…because as her friend she was tired of hearing her whine and because the hot girl wasn’t really looking for cock, since she was hot and kinda had her choice in who she brought home in every facet of life, generally not needing some pervert she found in a bar…

I guess what’s in it for Bilson, or other hot girls with fat friends is that it makes them look tiny and fit….they get to be the pretty ones who get all the attention, except on the nights I met them, because I know if I met these girls in a bar, I’d probably be going home alone cuz the fat manager no one wants knows she can do better….or worse, I’d be tricked into going home with her….you know cuz of that whole vagina, no matter how buried it is still being a vagina….

It’s happened many times and I do it, even though I don’t believe getting laid is getting laid, or pussy is pussy, it’s actually fucking traumatic. I don’t like it and I am proud of it. It’s just one of those take what I can get, low expectations cuz I deserve the fat manager and not the hot one cuz a defeatist attitudes manages my failures without jumping in front of a train…

Posted in:Rachel Bilson

2010

08

Nov

Underage Sluts is The Highlight of the Weekend of the Day


I haven’t even really been on the computer all weekend, I was taking a break, taking in all the sights and sounds of sitting on my couch and staring at the wall, too broke to really do anything, and too unmotivated to get up and out there to see what the world has to offer, and too ghetto to have a functioning TV, and too retarded to pick up a book….So I may be jumping the gun here, but I think that Miley Cyrus’ Camel Toe to deal with her mom’s cheating ass that made Billy Ray’s Achy Breaky Heart a more authentic tune, and Taylor Momsen’s Bra because she’s not about to let Miley outshine her underage slut behavior that gets her noticed, it’s all she has going for her…and their competition for attention has got to be the best news, pictures, post of the day….

The reason it is the best post, is cuz it’s a reminder of the damage it does to a generation of women due to their influence is something you used to only find in homes of male attention craving girls who were molested and open to sex and skilled with dick cuz of practice and dick exposure at such a young age….now you get that without dealing with all the repressed memories, issues and anger towards their uncle or whoever did it….anger that eventually makes them crawl into a shell and only respond to hugs…something you didn’t sign up for when she was giving you a 10 years of experience at the age of 17 blowjob behind the local Dunkin Donuts…

It’s like these Miley and Momsen bitches are the cool girls the other girls want to be like, so they mimic them…and apparently they are a lot more convincing than a dirty old man like me telling to to throw their morals and underwear out after leaving for school for the day, it’s almost like Miley and Momsen are working for us.

It’s like this is some kind of high school fantasy where the bad girl teaches the good girl how to suck pussy only out there in the public for us all to enjoy, and not hidden behind the door at a high school sleepover…

It’ll be interesting to see how this affects the teenage AIDS rate going forward…but since I’m just a voyeur, I’m okay with that….cuz AIDS can’t affect a dude jerking off to AIDS….

True story.

Bonus – Here’s Miley’s MTV Camel Toe Performance….


To See the Rest of the Pictures – FOllow These Links – Cuz the Paparazzi Hate Me

Miley Camel Toe
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Momsen Bra Show
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Here’s the Miley video, cuz I like Miley’s All American Girl shit a lot better than Momsen’s deathly gothic vampire weirdness, but more importantly cuz I love that her outfit is enough to make grown men listen to her shitty music…it’s pathetic and kinda what I live for.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Taylor Momsen