DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Ozempic Katy Perry Finds the Only Audience Who Likes Her of the Day

Rita Ora in a Bikini of the Day

Jenna Ortega’s Ceiling Eyes Beetlejuice Promo Erotica of the Day

Dua Lipa in a Bikini with Balloons of the Day

Julianne Hough is a Mormon Gone Wild in a Tight Dress of the Day

2010

Oct

Hilary Duff’s Tits are Fatter than Normal of the Day

4 Comments »

Not having a stable site is driving me crazy. It really made me want to rape the shit out of something, to regain my confidence and feel like I’m still in control…It’s a mental thing…I looked at my dog and he wasn’t really doing it for me…so I stuck my dick in a pumpkin an eager kid left out for Halloween ten days early.I found it on his porch and figured why not keep things seasonal…without really thinking how traumatized he will be when he sees the mushy mess I made when he wakes up….or really even thinking that I coulda got caught…

Unfortunately after climaxing inside the thing, I realized that it’s not rape when you fuck an inanimate object without consent…it’s just fucking an inanimate object…and now I feel like an idiot…

Speaking of rape, here are pictures of Hilary Duff and her new tits. I wonder if she’s just fat, or if she got implants, or if she’s pregnant with a baby that she will pretend is her gay Hockey Player boyfriends, even though it could be anyone from his team, since he uses her to build team morale and to have a reason to get his teammates hard….except him cuz he only fucks her up the ass.

I don’t know what happened to her face…but I can only assume it is a result of those hockey initiation parties….

Posted in:Hilary Duff

2010

Oct

Britney Spears Hiding Her Lip from the Paparazzi of the Day

3 Comments »

I fucked a girl up the ass and she can’t walk…my dick can’t take credit for it…cuz she was in a wheelchair when I found her…turns out it was an accident at 13…but the good news is no feeling below the waste…the badenews…no bowel control….the good news low standards…the bad news there’s a serious reason for that….the good news no condom…the bad news she gets fucked by different men like it is her job…cuz it is her job…the good news it only lasted 50 seconds…the bad news it cost me 75 bucks….the good news she didn’t have scabs on her asshole…the bad news she had scabs on her snatch…

Speaking of handicap people, low standards, herpes and anal sex with the disabled, here are pics of Britney Spears hiding her lip from the paparazzi…

Posted in:Britney Spears

2010

Oct

Sandra Bullock Takes Out Her Black Baby in Pussy Hugging Shorts of the Day

6 Comments »

I wonder when the family Sandra Bullock rented her black baby from is going to come out of the woodwork and sell their story to the tabloids about how bitch did this weeks after Jesse James and Michelle Bombshell McGee’s Nazi sex games hit, because Sandra Bullock knows that this wasn’t anything new for her husband in the bedroom, and somewhere out there is video of her with a Hitler mustache…

Good spin you fucking cunt. Adopting black babies always diverts attention from your bigot sex games…I mean how could a bigot really be a bigot if she looks like she’s a mom to little Jamal….but I know after this picture the baby was passed off to staff while Bullock showered herself down cuz touching blacks is almost as bad as touching Jews to the KKK….not that she’s in the KKK but you get what I mean…

Sure I don’t know what the true story is…but as far as I’m concerned, this is a fucking joke. I generally don’t put pictures of celebrity kids on the site…and avoid it…but I think this is more of a prop to help her career than an innocent kid…so I’ll let that policy slide for today.

Posted in:Sandra Bullock

2010

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

The site is still wonky like these tits….It is not fully operational. Email is still down. I am not a priority to fix because the site is up, which is more than they can say about other people.

I don’t get the internet and I am not a tech guy but I am changing hosts. I have a back-up. 24 hours and I’ll be back….I’ve been enjoying the down time, emailing and instant messaging and calling my current host and yelling at them for fucking me up….thinking it will make them work faster….I’ve also been drinking a lot more than I normally do during the day…and playing on my FACEBOOK connecting with the youth…and my two fans…and trying to get Karolina Kurkova to add me as a friend but she’s too much of snobby cunt for that….I expect you to add me…

Here are my stepLINKS….cuz gotta keep them alive…even when I am dead…because let’s face it…I’ve been dead on the inside for a lot longer than I’ve ever had a site…

Sam Ronson is Banging Christina Aguilera Cuz Fake Lesbians Experimenting have Horrible Taste and Sam Ronson Needs them to Get Gigs….Without a celebrity Pussy She’s Nothing..
GO

Living Dead I’d Stick My Dick In
GO

Because If Your Week Has Been Anything Like Mine Has, Pulling One Out May Just Save Your Life
GO

Yeah So John Mayer Totally Banged Taylor Swift and She’s Playing the Vulnerable Girl Taken Advantage of…I like it….
GO

Shakira’s Best Ass Shots
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Cassidy is a Squirter Alright – VIDEO
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The Ten Most Bizarre Deaths in The Porn Industry
GO

NFL Week 5’s Hottest Cheerleaders
GO

Jenny McCarthy Bikini Tits
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Kate Hudson is Looking Trashy and I Like It
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And MORE Annalynne McCrod Bikini Tips
GO

Kelly Brooke is Nude and I Love Her for It
GO

This Broad September’s Tits Are Completely Out of Hand – GALLERY
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And Now, The Weirdest Use for a Balloon in the History of Web Cam History – VIDEO
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Girl Gets a Wedgie – VIDEO
GO

I Love Some Bad girls Club Insanity – VIDEO
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Anastasia is All Oiled Up
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Top 5 List Ã± Mainstream Crossover Pornstars
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Man I Forgot How Hot Petra Nemcova Was
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Busty Brunette Gets Off on the Couch
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A Bunch of Hollywood Hotties At the Women in HOllywood Tribute
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Random pic Dumo of the Day
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Jodie Sweeten is White Trash Alright
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Gotta Love a Live Tv Nipple Slip
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striptease of the Day
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Now THIS is what I Call a Babe Gallery
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Mindy Vega is Hot in Pink and Black
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Holy Fuck, We Are All About Due for Some Gary Busey Amazingness
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Candice SwanepoelÃs Sexiness Truly Knows No Limits
GO

Jade is the Type of Chick That Will Get You Thinking Dirty
GO

Going to Kim Kardashian’s Birthday Will Only Cost You $2500..Wait, What?
GO

Follow Me, Fuckers
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

Oct

Bitches from Glee do GQ in their Panties of the Day

3 Comments »

I have had the misfortune of seeing an episode of Glee because an annoying half retarded bitch sitting at the table next to me at some shitty diner made a huge fucking deal about the shit and convinced the restaurant to turn it on….It was as bad as I expected but made sense since the whole world is turning gay…

What doesn’t make sense is why they’d get the female cast in their underwear, cuz no dude is watching this show with his mom or girlfriend, there’s just no way that anyone who wants to see pussy in fresh cotton panties, knee highs and a push-up bra would even know what Glee is or who is on it…but I guess when I put it like that…I don’t care that they’re ugly or have wonky fucking faces and bad attitudes…cuz bitches don’t have faces when their sucking lollipops acting like they are living out a highschool teacher/stundent fantasy that isn’t illegal cuz it’snot actually a highschool teacher and a student….

They are already on the map, I guess I should learn to embrace this bullshit…provided they produce more material like this.

Good work GQ. Now every man is going to start watching this show…lusting over the bitches on the show…to jerk off to them real time and in motion….unfortunately, making them question their sexuality and turning them gay…in some weird strategy to end over-population in a world of faggot…

I’m onto you and your social experiment….

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Posted in:Glee

2010

Oct

Claudia Schiffer Dusts Off Her Pussy to Model of the Day

4 Comments »

I have a half-assed functioning site and figured what better way to celebrate average at best work than to post pictures of some magazine I never heard of’s 40th anniversary edition that features 40 Claudia Schiffer covers cuz she is also celebrating her 40th anniversary…of being alive… her 40s ….and I haven’t figured out why I am posting this…she’s not naked…or in a bikini…or in a sex tape…or masturbating…or fucking black dudes for coke…it’s just wholesome family middle- aged woman bullshit that you can’t jerk off to..unless you are weird…

I assume it’s my subconscious way of saying we should all suffer together…or maybe it is may way of paying tribute to supermodels of the past by celebrating how well they age but I doubt that…it may be a tribute to girls I may have masturbated to but I don’t remember if I did cuz I don’t keep track of the things I actually fuck, let alone what I was doing to myself a decade ago and what inspired it….

Here are the 40 covers anyway…

I can’t believe I am uploading 40 images to a site that’s hardly working..

Uploading This is taking a fucking hour…I don’t think it’s worth it….Does anyone even care about this bitch??? I’m halfway through…I should just stop this now….

I don’t have patience for this…I drank pretty hard last night to stop the pain of having a shitty site…I should be napping…

15 to go….I am sure I coulda found better pics to spend all this time on…like that you could actually get excited about…not that getting you excited is a priority for me…that would be very homo.

What a waste of fucking time….

Jesus…40 pictures is excessive…Maybe I shoulda only posted the good ones…are there even any good ones?

I hate the internet….

Posted in:Claudia Sciffer

2010

Oct

Gisele Does Vogue Brazil of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know if anyone really gives a fuck about Gisele…or if anyone ever really gave a fuck about Gisele…but I feel like there was a period of time where she was all the fucking rage…you know the kind of pussy everyone wanted until they realized she may not have a pussy…but instead is a genetic freakshow native to the brazilian forests where all the world’s non-asian trannies are created in a lap…

I’m still down with posting her pictures and modeling because I think the whole ambiguity is exciting…I mean there’s no fun in jerking off to someone who you know has a pussy…there’s just no mystery in it…

I know what you’re thinking, she had a kid recently with your football hero..how could she not have woman parts….It’s called faking it, I saw Lindsay Lohan in her straight to DVD movie about being pregnant…and football players are all pretty gay…or at least gay enough to fuck a bitch like this who may have a dick…I figure a small sacrifice to make to have Victoria Secret approved tits….

Either way, here are the boring pics…

Posted in:Gisele Bundchen

2010

Oct

Denise Richards is Writing a Memoir of the Day

5 Comments »

Apparently Denise Richards is writing a memoir….I don’t know if this is a joke, since I assumed that Denise Richards was one of those retarded bitches who doesn’t know how to write since she didn’t graduate high school cuz she was too busy showing off her fake tits at the local stripclub, making enough money to get her to LA where she slept her way into one or two movie roles and a few magazine spreads cuz people liked fake tits in the 90s, especially when they were in Playboy and is only relevant cuz of six degress of Kevin Bacon games thanks to their threeway sex scene….but more importantly cuz she’s Denise Richards and has no one gives a fuck about Denise Richards even when she’s getting beat up by her famous baby daddy Charlie Sheen…It’s like what’s she gonna write about, being an unoffical Hollywood high class escort with a solid front as an “Actress”….

I’m sure her coked up and cock up her pussy life is about as fun to read about as it is to watch her in these pictures…which is not very fun except for the certified crazy people with OCD who can’t get past their love for or cuz people who were in horrible car accidents in ’95 that got their brain damaged enough to keep ’em hung-up on that era…

Posted in:Denise Richards

2010

Oct

Kate Bosworth Turns Me On Of the Day

1 Comment »

Kate Bosworth is hot. She’s not fat. She’s got perky tits and I’m a fan.

These pictures are even hotter cuz they are of her leaving a script reading session with Rachel Bilson cuz they are filming a new movie called BFF & Baby together….which is probably going to be the movie I’ll most likely be jerking off when it hits Theaters despite all the warnings the manager at the AMC has given me about exposing myself at the movies…

Seriously….Kate Bosworth and Rachel Bilson are probably the two hollywood pussies I like best. Throw in some Mila Kunis without her Culkin-AIDs and I’m spent.

They keep to themselves, they aren’t 17, they don’t expose themselves on the regular intentionally and they don’t do the trashy hollywood obvious fame hungry cry for attention hustle like all the other bottom feeders…it is almost like they are keeping things the way they were when I started the site…before the paparazzi and internet made hollywood one massive blog post….and that makes me want them both naked at the same time, hopefully a scene that gets sneaked into the final script….

I just want to say, the producers of this movie are really onto something…I just hope they really take advantage of the situation they have at hand and get them naked…cuz as someone who has fucked up many amazing sexual situations with questionable looking bitches…I know the regret of not pullin’ through when I had the chance follows me for life…

Posted in:Kate Bosworth

2010

Oct

stepNEWS of the Day

No Comments »

What better way to start a glorious hungover day, with a gloriously unstable website, thanks to a glorious disgruntled employee, who gloriously erased everyone’s fucking websites like a piece of fucking shit scumbag who was better off just pulling a disgruntled worker shooting, cuz at least my site wouldn’t have been affected….than the stepNEWS….

Everyday should start with you educating yourself about the world happenings…it makes for good conversation at the water cooler….it lets people think you are with it and aware…but when it’s stepNEWS, it also brings satisfaction knowing that you aren’t the biggest idiot out there…despite what your mom and exgirlfriend seem to think!

MI Teen Has to See Rapist at School Every Day
A Michigan teen is forced to see the boy that raped her at school every day and is taunted by his friends….She shouldn’t be huggin’ and kissin’ up on boys if she doesn’t wanna get raped…She learned a very valuable lesson about cockteasin’ and that’s if you’re gonna cocktease, you’re gonna get dick up in you whether you like it or not.

West Virginia Man Kills Friend with Bow and Arrow

OR Man Rages in Courtroom
A man, accused of rape, had to be subdued by three deputies after flipping tables and throwing punches in an Oregon courtroom

Twilight Book Burning in Portland…It is polluting the youth and turning kids bisexual cuz if woman are made like Kristen Stewart…They have no choice but to jerk off to R.Patts.

Woman Fired by Text
A FL woman was told that her services were no longer needed at work by a text from her supervisor…I woulda told her by raping her throat.

Car Plows into Pittsburgh DMV
A teen that just passed his driver’s test slammed through the front door of the DMV

Drill Bit Left in RI Patient

Posted in:stepNEWS