I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

13

Sep

Shenae Grimes in My New Friend I Hate of the Day

I was introduced to Shenae Grimes this weekend….only no one told me she was Shenae Grimes…I had no idea it was Shenae Grimes…partially because I don’t even really know who Shenae Grimes is.

I just thought she was some ugly looking drunken trash lookin’ for a dude to go home with cuz her broke ass needed a bed to sleep in, but when bisexual Jared Leto showed up and carted her away someone told me who the broke ass party girl was…..and I was surprised anyone knew her, but not surprised no one seemed to care when they were sitting with her.

She was not only annoying looking, but also ugly…and if I wasn’t told who she was, I wouldn’t have had any fucking clue…because the Shenae Grimes I hear people talking about is one who gets press for being hot and seriously, I saw her twice and the only thing hot about her is that one day she will die….it may not be today, but it is a guarantee that I like about her…other than that she fucking sucks and has a stupid fucking name….unless she is black…in which case shit’s perfectly fucking normal…Here are her pics…

The more interesting news is that Carmen Electra was at the same event, making shit hotter than it was a few seconds ago when this post was about the peasant from Canada who sucked the right dick and fell through the cracks and onto TV, when she should of probably been better suited to work the cash at Blockbuster…

Posted in:Shenae Grimes

2010

13

Sep

Teri from Three’s Company Full Frontal of the Day


In 1981, I feel like these pictures probably would have gone over a lot better than they will today. You know when she was Teri, a 26 year old blonde bitch on a hit TV show filled with sexual tension and stupid jokes…..in a time when showing off some pubic hair was all it took to jerk off to…but instead we get the shit when she’s 56 and her public hair is grey, her face monster-like and plastic surgery raped, her sex appeal pretty much zero and her relevance even less than that…getting naked for money or for that industry stamp of approval….in some role of her lifetime or some shit…but I assume it was straight to DVD…

Posted in:Priscilla Barnes

2010

13

Sep

Kim Kardashian Hard Nipples of the Day

I had a conversation with a group of guys about Kim Kardashian the other day. They were going nuts about how hot she is and I was arguing with them about how she’s not hot, for the sake of arguing, cuz we all know I’d fuck this pig, even though I think she’s a fucking pig….

I do think her glory days are over, I do think she’s a fat lazy spoiled slob who doesn’t deserve the attention she gets. I do think she’s chubby but hides it properly, cuz I guess that’s all she really has to worry about….

And here she is with hard nipples…that I am unfortunately loving, because big ass and big titties aren’t always a bad thing, often times it’s fucking hot, it’s just unfortunate that these ones happen to be on some cheesy fucking Kardashian cuz I hate talking about them like they matter….cunts…

Posted in:Kim Kardashian

2010

13

Sep

Kristin Cavallari Sluts It Up for Some Bottom Feeding Photographer of the Day

Tyler Shields is some photographer out of LA who made friends with some celebs and models and has since been making a name for himself because they all think he’s this inspired artist or some shit. I’ve seen countless comments to the guy about how awesome he is and how he is a visionary and I guess I shouldn’t hate on him too hard, cuz I’ve never had patience to seduce women into getting naked, or in their underwear, I’ve never said the right things, I’ve never felt like I need to make them believers that they are part of something much bigger than they think they are, stripping them down, all to get HIM noticed.

I am not sure if you get what I am saying, but it’s pretty much that this dude says the right thing to the right people, he makes them think he’s this bigger than life artist and that they have to shoot with him, he’s out of LA, and there are many insecure actors out there willing for that shot at having some substance in their lives filled with crap….so they attach themselves to people like this, he gets them half naked, and we all find out about the motherfucker, visit his website and make him tons of money. Using their celebrity to make him a celebrity….

It’s a good scam, that I just don’t have patience for. But I will post the Kirstin Cavallari pictures, because she really has no point anymore, her one and only break has come and gone twice….and lightning doesn’t strike three times…but maybe getting Lohan’s photographer will put her back on the map. I am sure she’s so happy people are talking about her today…

Who really cares, she’s half naked in a park and that’s good enough for me, no matter who the bitch is, or how useless the bitch is….and really Tyler’s got the right idea…gag this bitch…but next time…don’t let her up for air. This is a lost opportunity if I’ve ever seen one…

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2010

13

Sep

Anna Kournikova in a Bikini for Maxim of the Day

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

I didn’t get into the VMAs because no one was willing to help me because I am insignificant. I did almost die on my hitched ride home at 2 am because I didn’t really have the chance to interview the motherfuckers for sanity or to do a background check on them to see if they had a criminal record when I met them in a bar at they offered me a lift home……

Anna Kournikova did get into a bikini for Maxim, because Maxim will feature anyone because they are insignificant and holding on by a thread because they almost died or are dying thanks to the internet…..

I’ve heard people still have a thing for her….10 years too late…but they still can’t ignore that lust they once felt, so maybe Maxim isn’t all about has-beens and bottom feeders looking for attention, like the magazine version of Dancing with the Stars, but more about bitches who have fans that will never give up on them….because they are obsessive and weird…

It really doesn’t fucking matter….who fucking cares…here is the picture….

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Anna Kournikova

2010

11

Sep

Get me in the VMAs of the Day

I hitched a ride to NYC with a group of idiots. I crashed on couches cuz I am poor. I defied all odds and border patrol, all to get the the VMAs that I only found out about when I got here.

I have no hook-ups and need you to tell your friends…so word gets around that the most useless blogger is ready to crash parties…

If you know people at Make a Wish Foundation, tell them your fat friend with AIDS is ready to redeem his gift. I don’t have AIDS but I do have the capacity to pretend I do….

If you have a cousin, a brother, an uncle a sister who once fucked someone who worked at MTVs cousin, brother, uncle or sister….hit them up for me..

Email me at info (at) drunkenstepfather.com

Make magic happen for me….even though I know no one is reading this and if they are, they are losers with no hook-ups and if they are hooked up, they aren’t helping me…

But I am desperate and it is worth it…

On a sidenote I saw Jared Leto and he looks real bisexual. He was with Shenae “I got a black name” Grimes….and she was ugly as fuck in person…

Next stop, Lohan’s vagina….

Posted in:VMA

2010

11

Sep

stepLINKS of the DAy

I don’t know how a bitch driving a shitty Kia gets off saying she’s “Living the Dream”, but I do know it’s a pretty fucking horrible dream that no one deserves to live….

I also know I got hate mail….that I can’t really call hate mail cuz it’s hardly offensive….or funny…but I figure bitch needed some attention and I am nice enough to give it…

Are you gay? Is there a woman who isn’t boring? Or a whore? Or fat? Or ugly? I’m all for making fun of fat, ugly, whores, but it seems that all chicks in your eyes fall into one or all of these catagories. And that “of the day” shit was cute for a bit, but now its just annoying.

That’s all I have to say about that…..

The Hottest College Fanbases From the East
GO

Kristen Cavallari is Leggy in Shorts Shorts and Is Mean to Her Mom
GO

Sheyla Hershey Is No Longer The Woman With The Largest Titty Sacks In The World
GO

Cowgirl Slut Competition Sounds Okay to Me
GO

Because a Real Slut doesn’t Waste Any Time
GO

snooki’s boob slip
GO

Paintball Gun Up Her Snatch. Yeah You Read That Right – VIDEOs
GO

Caroline Wozniacki Cameltoe
GO

Rachel Bilson is as Sexy as Ever
GO

Jaime Likes to Look At Herself in the Mirror and I Like to Look at Jaime
GO

Draya Michelle is Just…Wow
GO

The Dude Form Celeb Slam Totally Pissed Off Tila Tequila By Calling Her a Saigon Whore and It’s Hilarious – READ
GO

My Little Terrorist Pony – VIDEO
GO

Best Man K.O.s Wedding Crasher
GO

Ahhhhhh Gotta Love a Nipslip Gallery
GO

Snookie Gets Her Sloppy Tits Out
GO in

Fuck Christina Hendrick’s Legs, It’s All About Her TITS
GO

Raquel Reign is Fine By Me
GO

Anastasia and a Friend Get Nasty – vIDEO
GO

Adriana Lima Hotness Throwback
GO

Which Drinking Games Will Get You Laid? READ HERE
GO

The Things I Would Do to Alexis Capris
GO

Camille Belle is Out and Looking As Hot as Ever
GO

I Wish I Lost My Virginity to Ashley Greene
GO

Gabriela Strips Down
GO

MACHETE IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE AND ITS GOING TO WIN IN EVERY CATAGORY AT THE ACADEMY AWARDS INCLUDING BEST ANIMATED FEATURE AND BEST DOCUMENTARY
GO

Jailbait Hottie for Friday Evening
GO

Kelli is Oh So Sexy
GO

Random Pic Dump of the Day
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Scarlett Johansson’s New Mango Ads Bring Her Sexy Back
GO

Hot Female Celebs Wearing NFL Jerseys
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

I Would Totally Be Friends With Angelina Jolie (and Her Vagina)
GO

Julia Roberts totally Got Implants
GO

CARTOON BEARS WILL EAT YOU – VIDEOs
GO

Squirting Blonde Slut – VIDEO
GO

Christina Aguilera Fucks Like a Gay Man, So She Sayss
GO

Busty Slut Gets Her Video On – VIDEO
GO

An App That Will Get You Laid And Make You Feel Dirtys
GO

Follow Me, Fucker
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

10

Sep

Scarlett Johansson for Mango of the Day

I never really got sucked into the Scarlett Johansson hype. I always saw a chunky, uninteresting girl with big enough tits and a nice enough face to look at, but nothing nearly as amazing as everyone seemed to think she was….she has flaws I just can’t ignore…unless of course I was dealing with them face to face, but since I’m not, I’ll judge her.

Sure she’s hot, I’d be an idiot to say she isn’t, but I can say she’s nothing special, I see girls as equally good on the daily and maybe I just have fucked up ideas of what makes a bitch hot or not….but I’m pretty sure she was a product of major fucking marketing…what I call big titty hype that got dudes excited….more than anything….cuz she has been consistently boring as fuck to watch….Never any drunken episode, nip slips or sex tapes, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s a sign of a bitch who thinks she’s too good and more important than she is. Fuck her.

But she photoshops well, so I figured I’d put these pictures up anyway.

Posted in:Scarlett Johansson

2010

10

Sep

Miley Cyrus Skimpy Clothes for Attention of the Day

I may find Miley Cyrus boring, ugly, retarded and inbred looking…I may not be as into her as the weird guy who messaged me on AIM today talking about how her jerks off to pictures of his wife and her sisters when they were 14 on vacation and in bikinis….something apparently A LOT of dudes are into, when really they should just go for 18 – 20 year olds who look like they are young to feed that fetish, cuz the girls who are 18 – 20 are less annoying, much hotter and more capable and secure in the bedroom….not to mention they don’t get your pervert ass arrested or shot by angry fathers who find out their daughters have been sending you dirty pictures…all because you have no self control and a fetish that is destined to ruin you….

Don’t get me wrong, I like young girls, but really anyone under 25 is pretty fucking young to me. If you saw my wife and her sloppy pig body, anything is firm…..So for you perverts, trust me it is just best to avoid all girls under 18 at all times even if girls are sluttier younger and younger…thanks to people like Miley Cyrus….you need to let them grow into legal sluts on their own…with kids their own age…it is just not worth the headache….Trust me, 14 was legal here for years, now it is 16 and I still avoid that shit like it is cancer…cuz it can be just as fucking bad….just less interesting….

I gotta say, I do like Miley’s ability to slut out to get more attention for herself than she already has. She’s at the top and knows how to stay there….All this to say, she is a good leader for the 18 year olds of tomorrow…..

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2010

10

Sep

Jessica Simpson Still Fat of the Day

Jessica Simpson has a responsibility to the public. Not only does she need to be a good role model for girls…to teach them to live a healthy life without being fat, but also to the men who spent years jerking off to her.

She doesn’t work, she has tons of money, she has all the time in the world to hire a fucking trainer, she is not pregnant, she hasn’t even had a kid yet, and really the whole thing is totally unacceptable. She is a public figure and going out there like Kirstie Alley or the bitch Carnie Wilson about how comfortable and proud she is cuz she can be herself and eat ribs 4 times a day and fit in a tarp of a dress and still lay there for guys to fuck her cuz she’s Jessica Simpson, is some lazy fucking excuse for a human being….

Seriously bitch, shape the fuck up, you sold your soul to the world, we tell you what you can and can’t do…and whether you are too fat or not…which I guess goes without saying….you waste of hot pussy.

I remember your Dukes of Hazard car wash scene. Look at you now. You fucking pig.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson