DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2022

18

Jul

Ellen Pompeo’s White Bikini of the Day

I’ve basically written any and every story I’ve got over the last 20 years of this, which is why I repeat myself, more posts happen than drunken adventures, so when I saw that I’ve had a thing for white bikinis pretty much my entire life, because they have consistently delivered when getting wet, which is pretty much the whole point of bikinis, to get wet, and by delivered I mean, I’ve seen full cunt….

I remember the first tits I saw in a white bathing suit back when I was about 15 years old, I couldn’t believe that I was seeing full tits by a girl who had no fucking idea that her bathing suit was sheer when wet, in an era when showing your tits to your homies was a fate worse than death……and I remember at 17 or 18 when I was at a friend’s pool and his older sister was there in a white bikini…..I was in the water, she was standing on the side of the pool, she asked me some question and we got into a conversation, the entire time, full fucking pussy lips were staring back at me….I don’t know if she knew, but I never forgot that magical pussy flash that fed my voyeurism and probably influenced my “career” (ha) choices of pervert on the internet seeking nudes….sure it didn’t end up on my face, she wasn’t that hot and I was fucking hot chicks at the time, because I am not a loser like you, but it made her substantially hotter, because voyeurism won.

NOW, I don’t find ELLEN POMPEO HOT or give a fuck about ELLEN POMPEO or GRAY ANATOMY but I don’t mind staring at ANATOMY with a sheer swimsuit and that’s what this is about…..POMPEO ANATOMY thanks to solid swim choices by the rich….

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Ellen Pompeo

2022

18

Jul

Mariah Carey’s Big Tits in Capri of the Day

No Comments »

Mariah Carey’s on some luxury vacation on what I’ll assume is a yacht where she’s been eating.

I wonder if she’s vaccinated, because she’s about the size of all the fat mask wearing vaccinated weirdos who think they are doing it for their health, because clearly they care about their health in being 300 fucking pounds….

I do appreciate the level of not giving a fuck, because most women who are as famous as Mariah Carey wouldn’t be out there in their snow suit for the people of the world to point and laugh…

It’s not quite bold enough to push the whole body positivity hustle, because if she really didn’t give a shit, she’d be in a bikini, belly hanging over her bikini bottoms, or she’d be nude….

Like other fat girls, she is using her tits as a diversion from everything else going on but I find it hard to hate on this rich, fat, diva bitch, because she’s about 60 years old, looks 60 years old, seems to have eaten as much as a 60 year old would in the last few years, playing catch up from all those years of starving herself…..and ultimately, I blame the anti-depressants….not that I like 60 year olds, but this muppet bullshit lies that these other people push is trash, I’d rather see real deal rot, especially when it’s got monster tits.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Mariah Carey

2022

18

Jul

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Tits of the Day

No Comments »

Candice Swanepoel may be that old school model look, with the long legs, skinny body, now smaller tits thanks to getting the poison fake tits pulled out of her, that I assume she had, because all these models have tiny breast implants, at least that was what I was told by someone who knows nothing about this sort of thing, besides jerking off to VS catalogs as a fetish, but it made sense to me….

The South African babe is still doing the bikini thing, now for her own bikini collection probably owned by the same people who employed her for 20 years, and despite being a mom of more than one kid, being old as shit, she’s still managed to maintain her look, and unfortunately she’s too high end, too luxurious to be selling butt hole pics like everyone else, she’s not there yet and maybe too rich to ever get there, but that’s not stopping all these other girls from pulling in upwards of 1 million dollars a month off shit like OnlyFans, so we can only hope her morals and values that I am sure have been questioned along the way, will get overpowered by the temptation of selling butthole pics because when I look at this bikini selfie, all I’m thinking is “I wonder what her butthole looks like”…a bikini selfie, just doesn’t cut it.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Candice Swanepeol

2022

18

Jul

Demi Rose Ass Crack of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t give a fuck about Demi Rose, who I’ve been told was a legit sex worker in Miami before moving back to the UK where she played up the whole being the Kim Kardashian of the UK, who was open to be hired to make appearances at events where the plastic sheets were laid out for her to get shit on for a lot of money, everyone’s got a price.

The reason I don’t give a fuck about Demi Rose is that I hate that fake instagram body of big weird ass, big weird tits, fake tiny waists, it reminds me of actual waste….

Kim Kardashian is the biggest fucking monster to me, so any imitation no matter how unique, will throw me off…

HOWEVER, the economy is rough and I know this because two maybe even three, but definitely two older cracked out looking bitches, both missing teeth, in two totally different locations solicited me for sex….one at a grocery store, one at a gas station, both in broad daylight….and based on their overall look, and smell, I think the instagram muppet whore is a better one than the one you’ll hire off the streets, so here’s her popular ass in the grass….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Demi Rose

2022

18

Jul

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know if you believe in the Germ Theory or not, but I know that when I am waiting in line at a grocery store or at a restaurant waiting for my poutine, I think to myself, how dumb people were for thinking that being next to some stranger, who for the most part, wasn’t sick, because if they were sick they would be home, would kill them…..so they’d sit 6 feet away with 2 masks….only to run out and hand sanitize as soon as they got back in the car….like a fucking crazy person, only society treated them like they weren’t being fucking mental, since society was telling them to be mental…and they just do what they are told.

I saw a mom with two masks at an outdoor market the other day, scared of everyone around her, and I was like “the propaganda runs deep”…..

So yeah, COVID is likely coming back, it’s already back, and when people shouldn’t fucking care, they instead triple the fuck down…..out of irrational fear…..to the point where the medical workers they called heroes were bastardized and forced to do porno for not being vaccinated.

These are those medical workers surviving, probably thriving, thanks to that whole covid thing pushing them in the right direction of showing us tits, because showing tits as the outcome, is always the right direction.

(more…)

Posted in:NURSES

2022

18

Jul

Demi Moore Geriatric Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I am pretty sure that I posted some of the pics, maybe even these pics, of Demi Moore in her bikini at 70 years old, like she was still 18 in Blame it on Rio, where we were first introduced to her original tits, long before she manged the fuck out of herself with millions of dollars of plastic surgery that no one seemed to say “maybe you have a problem, some dysmorphia, you’re find how you are”…..but instead celebrated it, to get other people on board, to fuel a whole vapid plastic surgery business, because all it took was an “influencer” like Demi Moore who at the time was high paid.

She is the mom of a few Idaho Potato heads that are far more attractive than they used to be, I mean when you’re rich and do nothing, you don’t need to deal with the aging stresses the normies do…she is the ex wife of Billionaire loser pervert Ashton Kutcher and she’s in a bikini, not showing off her old granny pussy with all it’s grey pubic hair, the way old folk fetishists like…..because she’s one of those not into aging gracefully tight, so you know that pussy is bald….allowing you to see all the battle wounds along the way….ONLY..she isn’t showing it to us…which is the tragedy in all this….I mean an old lady, still skinny, with fake tits, botoxed out is a tragedy in and of itself, just a reminder of how vapid and superficial we are….which makes sense to me….keep the lie, it’s the internet….and she looks better than most 20 year olds, which is just a reminder that 20 year olds are lazy and don’t appreciate the importance on making your actual look line up with your fake photoshopped for instagram look…..it’s a superficial world people, let’s stop pretending it isn’t, because we know it is.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Demi Moore

2022

18

Jul

Milf Monday of the Day

No Comments »

The nice thing about MILFs is that you know they fuck, based on how blown out their vaginas are from childbirth alone, the chances she’s a virgin who was artificially inseminated are SLIM to fucking none.

The other nice thing about MILFs is that they are seemingly too busy to really get overly involved in a dude, but then again, women are crazy and where there is a will there is a way, to forget that you’re a fucking mom because being a mom is boring, and instead get caught up in other shit like being a whore…

But the nice thing about MILFs being whores is you can always throw it in their face and make them feel like terrible moms, which can help cumming in them knowing they won’t actually keep it because having kids fucking sucks and they’ve been there, done that and will hav their TUBE TIES or plan B near by, unless they are psychos trying to rook you in, but I highly doubt you have that appeal….like are you good enough for any girl, even a 400 pound mom of two at the trailer park, to be like “I’m going to trap him with another kid”….not that a 400 pound mom of two would be considered a MILF to me, but if she’s fucking, she’s a MILF to someone…

HEre are some hot MILFS.

(more…)

Posted in:Milf

2022

18

Jul

Ali Larter Cherry Popping Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

The famous WHIPPED CREAM BIKINI is now 46 years old and that may not be exciting to anyone who found Ali Larter hot, since 46 is old as shit, with some real rotting reproductive organs, where even GOD or the CREATOR of MAN said “at a certain age, they are just too fucking old to fuck” and if you’re fucking while menopausal, it is more a “doing it because you can” than a doing it because you should…..

Now I am not Ali Larter’s TAMPON collection, so I have no idea how many eggs are left in her carton, but she’s giving us a solid POV of what she’d probably be posed like at the GYNO when he’s counting them out……only in a youthful and fun bikini, with some dried cum on her mound, unless that’s “DRIED SKIN”…..like we’ve never found dried cum on our chronic masturbating selves in places we didn’t know it ended up, only to realize when in public, or when asked by one of our friends “dude what’s that on your ear”……oh shit…….think fast….”DRY SKIN”….

And the real question is why is she taking loads on her belly and not inside her, isn’t menopause nature’s IUD along with being nature’s “You shouldn’t be fucking”…..

Who cares.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Ali Larter|Ali Larter

2022

18

Jul

Olivia Holt Bikini Selfies of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Holt posted some slutty bikini selfie in the mirror as girls do, because if enough of them do it, they all think it is no longer slutty, so the slutty girls who want to be slutty, need to push the goal post further in slutty, until that becomes normalized, and the normies hop on it, and soon enough, instagram will just be close ups of girls taking loads in their ass from massive cocks, you know, the way society wants it to be and I figure the more pussy I get to see, the more fulfilled my empty existence is, so THANK YOU SLUTS, our heroes, our unicorns….progressing the movemnent….so that I can jerk off when I leave the house seeing big tits in summer dresses, rompers, wrestling leotards, bike shorts, leggings, braless, crop tops, bikini tops, fitness sports bras….you know I’m a simple man and don’t need much to cum myself…..

Olivia Holt is some important bitch with 5.1, into dad jokes….so let’s drop some dad jokes to impress her and hope she sends us NUDES….CLICK THE CONTACT button woman…..

What did one dad say to the other dad?

Shit….I don’t do jokes, because comedy is lame….but bikini selfies on indoctrinated Disney Kids in their 20s trying to push agendas….ARE good.

Two dads walk into a bar…..

Shit….I don’t do jokes, because comedy is lame….but bikini selfies on indoctrinated Disney Kids in their 20s trying to push agendas….ARE good.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Olivia Holt

2022

18

Jul

Milky Boobs Monday of the Day

No Comments »

I may not be a farmer. I may not be prepared for the foot shortages, economic collapse, impending apocalypse, in these obvious END TIMES. I may not be an off grid prepper growing my own veg, even though I know that this year’s harvest will fall short, and that the food in stores now is last year’s harvest…….I may not have a cow to milk to feed my family and that may be the wrong fucking approach…..but I am confident in my titty milking skills…..so now all I need is a lactacting lady to lock in my barn…if only I had a barn….

(more…)

Posted in:Lactating