I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

14

Apr

Sears Shopper of the Day

I thought the whole point of the Sears Lingerie section was for perverts to get turned on and jerk off. I figure most people who get off fucking women’s lingerie actually buy the shit and take the shit home to jerk off all over, but it’s the fucking recession and some people don’t really like to steal, so he compromised, but unfortunately the law didn’t, cuz jerking off or fucking clothes on the rack of a department store in public is illegal…who knew?

I feel for this dude. Not only have I rubbed my dick up on panties in the past but I’ve also spent hours outside and inside lingerie stores watching bitches shop and try on clothes….You see, we come from a generation where there was no porn so we discovered ourselves with our mom, sister, neighbor’s underwear and/or pictures of bitches in the Sears catalog in lingerie and now that dude is in America he’s taking it upon himself to make that shit a reality…He’s just living the American Dream you assholes trying to snuff this motherfucker’s good times out….

Posted in:Exhibitionist|Public Masturbating|Sears

2010

14

Apr

Bai Ling’s 44 Year Old Chinese Earthquake Nipple of the Day

It’s been a while since we’ve seen Bai Ling out with her nipple. Showing her nippled used to be her move to get noticed…probably because her acting career, the whole reason she came to America, was pretty shitty considering she hasn’t really had work since she was in “The Crow” back in 1994….a movie she’s be riding off for a long fucking time…..

I can only assume her family has old Chinese money and finances her and her 44 year old body got tired of trying and getting no where and maybe she got work at the local convenience store like all the other Asian people….because no one cares about her and never really did…and I can’t really figure out what this bitches deal is, partially because I don’t care…..but I do care that she’s driving herself around, only because Asian drivers are worse than drunk drivers and I fear all the little kids playing on the street on her way home….I’m lying..I don’t care about the little kids either…I was just trying to be wholesome and caring to recruit some of your bitches to send me nudes.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Bai Ling|Nipple

2010

14

Apr

Homeless Guy of the Day

Life is better with homeless people. I talk to them whenever I see them and really find them entertaining as fuck. I have paid homeless dudes a couple bucks to do stupid shit from rub their dicks on girls leaving night clubs, to fucking dirty mattresses found on the side of the street, to making them eat expired, rotting food. It’s like they are my own person circus performers. I have not had one jump in traffic, but now that I know homeless people are invincible, I may….

Posted in:Homeless Man|Runover

2010

14

Apr

Hayden Panettiere in a Bra of the Day

I haven’t heard or seen much from Hayden Panettiere in the last little while, but then again, either has any average height person in her life who forgets to look down. Bad short jokes are my new hobby.

I guess Hayden Panettiere’s mom had no more strings to pull, and but strings I mean producer cock, because she already pulled all the strings and used all the strings she’s pulled over her career to launch her daughter’s career years ago….Or maybe Hayden was just so tired of trying to keep up with the big kids, because bad short jokes are my new hobby…

Here she is in Lush Magazine in a bra or bra-like garment and despite knowing her tits are small and muscular, they almost make them look worth bouncing off my chin, despite knowing they’d likely chip my one good tooth, cuz she flexed….apparently bad muscular breast jokes are also my new hobby. Good times.

Posted in:Bra|Hayden Panettiere

2010

14

Apr

Marisa Miller Fills a Kiddie Pool of the Day

This is a lot hotter than when the ghetto fat french white trash lady from the apartment complex fills up her kiddie pool in the back alley for all the neighborhood kids to play, piss, shit and splash their dirty poor selves in….it is a lot hotter than when the fat 50 year old homeless looking dude down the street sets up his kiddie pool mid summer on the front yard of his apartment complex for him to soak in like he was on a fucking resort when really he’s on the side of a fucking busy street…

The only problem with seeing Marisa Miller and her amazing body with her kiddie pool is that the concept is so unrealistic, I know this high maintenance bitch doesn’t do kiddie pools, she does infinity pool, and that she’s probably got a staff of Mexicans to fill, empty and clean the shit, so this picture is just fuckin’ fantasy to those of use who actually have to deal with kiddie pools, like mocking us saying “you’ll never see anything like this in your life, you piece of fucking trash, I am better than you” and it would make me really mad, if I wasn’t so busy trying to photoshop her panties off.

Posted in:Bikini Bottoms|Kiddie Pool|Marisa Miller|Wet

2010

14

Apr

Miranda Kerr Ass in a Bathing Suit of the Day

Miranda Kerr is a bikini model, so she gets paid to wear bikinis. The whole thing makes no sense to me, because I am happy to see any bitch in a bikini, she doesn’t need to really know how to pose, she just has to be wearing the shit, but I’m not really complaining, because without bikini models, everyday girls wouldn’t put the effort into going to the gym and trying to get that bikini body they see in the magazines and catalogs and everyone would be slobby fat chicks…..

Sure seeing her with the shit untied and jacked up her ass is pretty fucking amazing, but it’s the same old boring shit, I’d rather see her model her bikini spread eagled with the shit hanging out of her gaping cunt, but that’s just me….

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Miranda Kerr

2010

13

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

My dog just got his face humped by a dog I didn’t know still had it’s balls. The owner was talking to me about how tough his dog is and how it’s a step down from his pitbull he had to put down cuz it killed the neighbor’s dog, but that he still gets to play rough with his new little friend.

The whole thing made me kinda uncomfortable, I thought maybe this was the “peanut butter” kind of dude who spends his nights alone with his dog and porn, you know the kind of guy who licked a dog asshole and pretended it was human ass, but was just happy it was ass…..

But not as uncomfortable as when I looked down on my dog and his face was covered in cum like a common street whore, only instead of dude throwing us a 20, he laughed and walked away, leaving my dog violated….and now I know first hand what it feels like to have been one of those girls I accidentally jerked off on when they were passed out drunk, only to wake up crusted up….

Here are my stepLINKS…..

Jim Carrey is Having a Nervous Breakdown Live on Twitter
GO

Kate Gosselin Dances The Constipated Tango – VIDEO
GO

Curb Your Enthusiasm – THE PORN – VIDEO
GO

Kick Ass’s Lyndsy Fonsecas Is Hot
GO

Because We All Need Something to Pull One Out To
GO

Gotta Love a College Cutie – VIDEO
GO

Bench Press Surprise Ending – VIDEO
GO

The Hottest WAGS of the Masters
GO

How About a Tiger Woods Cartoon
GO

I Don’t Know Who Fearne Cotton Is, But Here is Her Upskirt
GO

I’d Bang Ginnifer Goodwin And Her Pant Suit
GO

Gotta Love Self Shots in the Mirror
GO

Hot Teen Stretches Her Asshole With a Dilso
GO

Stun Gun video
GO

Steven Seagal is In Some Deep Shit
GO

If You Haven’t Puked Yet Today, This Will Help – VIDEO
GO

Sluts With Fists In Their Mouths
GO

Brianna Amor is Hot
GO

Miley Cyrus Short Shorts
GO

Julia’s Gallery
GO

Follow Me, I’ll Be Your Best Friend, And By Best Friend I Mean If I Ever See You Near My House, I’m Calling the Cops
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

13

Apr

Some Pam Anderson Hepatitis Back in a Sheer Dress of the Day

I am tired of Pamela Anderson, but probably not as tired as Pamela Anderson is of being Pamela Anderson. I don’t know if that makes sense, but it’s probably a lot of pressure trying to be sexy, when knowing you’re nothing but an old hag, but you do it because you think it’s expected out of you, cuz that’s the person you created. You know wearing sheer dresses as your plastic surgery you got when plastic surgery was in its infancy melts off your face, and your liver struggles to filter your blood because you let dirty rockstar dick inside you and now it’s gonna lead to your premature death, if your heart doesn’t give out from all cocaine you are on because it is the only thing that makes you feel good about yourself, cuz you know you’re done, and Dancing with the Stars is your last Waltz under the spotlight before you are forgotten, at least that’s what you look like….maybe it’s time for another sex tape…one we watch to laugh at instead of watch to jerk off to like we did back in the 90s….maybe that’ll only come when other shitty reality shows for failed stars reject her…Only time will tell…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Back|Pam Anderson|Sheer Dress

2010

13

Apr

Dad of the Day

I feel bad for this guy, he’s getting bad press when he’s just trying to balance having a good time and taking care of his kids and sometimes the two don’t really go hand in hand so you have to make fucking compromises….Everyone is shitting on the motherfucker, but it’s not like he was caught with his dick inside his kids or something….he was just giving them some time to hang out while he looked at titties and last time I checked there aint nothing wrong with that….but if it was me, I’d bring my girls in with me to show them their future profession….like fuckin’ career day, but then again, not everyone is as into education as I am….you people can take away his kids, but you can’t take away his freedom….no wait, they can do that too, fucking authorities always ruining our fun.

Posted in:parent

2010

13

Apr

Mickey Rourke’s Young Tanned Pussy of the Day

Mickey Rourke is filming in Montreal and I assume that means his young tanned groupie pussy is here with him, because part of being celebrity pussy is following the celebrity wherever the fuck they go. He’s here until May and that gives me enough time to get the word out to his people that I want to be in the room one day to film them fucking for this site. I’m not how far this pitch will go, or if I’ll get him on board, but there’s always hope that he’s staying somewhere that doesn’t have curtains so that I don’t actually need his involvement to get what I want, which is seeing this tanned twat’s twat showing me all the moves that tricks older rich men into giving her the good life….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Mickey Rourke|Pussy|Young