I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

15

Mar

Cheryl Burke in Her Bikini of the Day


Here’s one of the dancing with the stars dancers in her bikini and despite dancing all fucking day every fucking day it seems like the good life may have taken the fuck over for her. She looks like she’s been eating all the fancy cheeses and burgers and fries her money can buy, like when she was the fat chick in high school no one wanted to take to the prom, before turning to dance with a bunch of other rejects looking for friends, only to end up on TV instead of the stripclub where she would have belonged if she gained weight in the right places…you know less on the hip and more on the motherfuckin’ tits….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Burke

2010

15

Mar

Nicole Scherzinger’s Stomach Leaving the Gym of the Day

One of the most exciting days in my life was when I accidentally snuck into an event and was right next to Nicole Scherzinger…but it had nothing to do with being in the same room as this Pussycat Doll twat or her Girlicious crew, but everything to do with open bar….an invention that has made weddings something I wish I had the confidence to crash, but the one time I did crash a wedding was at some ghetto reception hall and by the time I worked my way in there, it turned out that it was an Asian wedding and I was the only non asian there, who was politely asked to leave before they pulled some ninja on me, but luckily before they did, I managed to grab a beer….ever since then, even after seeing the movie, I can’t bring myself to do it, but instead I just sit here dreaming of it, instead of finding a way to make money so that everyday feels like open bar…even when it isn’t, not that you care, but maybe you will care about Nicole Scherzinger’s tight body, cuz despite looking way too much like a Kardashian black man urinal, and just as cheesy as the Kardashians, she’s still worth noticing, I guess….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Gym|Nicole Scherzinger|Stomach

2010

15

Mar

Aubrey O’Day Tits Still Trying to Be Black of the Day

One of the more confusing things about Aubry O’Day is how she’s trying to turn herself black. I remember reading about how she fucked Diddy and other rappers back when she was on TV, before everyone forgot about her, and I get that some girls are really into black dudes, whether it is to upset their dads, the size of their dicks, their powerful position in the music industry, the fact that they fuck fat chicks, or whatever other reason their is for a white girl to go black. See I like under 30 pussy, she likes black dudes, you like wearing women’s panties, we all have our preferences and I don’t judge anyone for anything that makes them happy….

I just find it funny that she’s found comfort in the fact that black dudes like fat chicks, so it’s allowed her to eat all the fucking milkshakes she can, so many milkshakes that the store made her the fucking spokesperson, figuring that a fat no name bitch with fat tits is a good look for their brand, especially since everyone’s so entertained by the fact they chose her that they are writing about it….I also find the color of her skin funny, it’s like she’s trying to turn into that orange shit color that’s worked so well for the Kardashians in luring black cock.

Either way, here she is getting felt up by Elmo but more importantly showing off her stupid contacts that make her look like she’s cast in some bootleg Twilight softcore porn…but life’s not that good for her…and instead she’s stuck endorsing milkshakes…

Pics via Bauer and
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|cleavage|Tits

2010

15

Mar

Kelly Landry’s Hot Body in her Bikini Body of the Day

I don’t know who Kelly Landry is, but I do know she should be a lot more famous than she already is, not that what she does really warrants her as being famous, because she gets gigs like hosting Wheel of Fortune Australia, something pretty fucking insignificant because it is in Australia, despite the fact 98% of Australia are poor white trash that fucking love sitting at home with their fat wives drinking beer in their trailer watching game shows….because Australia is insignificant, so she hasn’t quite hit it big here, but if she keeps up this kind of behavior, like walking down the beach with her solid body like a common hooker, she’ll do fine here….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Landry

2010

15

Mar

Nadine Coyle is Nice and Skinny of the Day

One of my favorite things in life is eating disorders. It’s just something that really fires me up and turns me on. Maybe it’s because I am married to a fat chick and it is miserable even if every burger she eats is a burger closer to death, because fat chicks smell, are uncomfortable to sit next to on a bus or even on the couch, partially because of the heavy breathing but because you have to look at them and accept that this is what your life has become, so whenever I see a curvy bitch shaped the fuck up and slimmed the fuck down, no matter how extreme they went to get there, or how they may have gone too far, it drives me bananas…so fat chicks, take a lesson from this Nadine Coyle UK Popstar bitch, because before she got this skinny, she wasn’t even that fat, but I guess curvy enough for hollywood standards, and blogs probably ripped into her and lowered her self esteem enough to bring her to this amazing weight, proving yet again that making fun of bitches pays off in the end for all of us, except maybe them, especially when they die of cardiac arrest from not eating…..but that’s just a small price to pay for hotness…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Nadine Coyle|Skinny

2010

15

Mar

Adrianne Curry Ass on Twitter of the Day

I guess last week’s picture of Adrianne Curry showing off how flexible she is got her some serious twitter attention and brought her 60,000 followers to 70,000 followrs, making her realize that a good way to get people to notice you is to post naked, or sexual pictures, which really didn’t take a genius to figure out and I’m sure when she got her breast implants and rocked her reality career she already knew that’s all we care about, especially since every girl knows nude, bikini, ass or titty pictures will get them noticed, shit is the new leggings, because the world is a gang of perverts and clothing keeps us interested in knowing what’s under the clothing…so these ass pictures are not surprising, or even really that interesting, she kinda looks like a shaved down dude, but maybe I’m just confused from hard drinking and daylights saving time, but I am posting them anyway.

Posted in:Adrianne Curry|Ass|Twitter

2010

13

Mar

Paris Hilton’s Topless Sunbathing of the Day

I am not allowed to post these pictures of Paris Hilton sunbathing topless and it’s not because of the surgeon general’s warning that the bitch it tainted meat – I don’t know if you have a surgeon general in the USA but he’s the motherfucker who told me cigarettes killed babies and made the packaging way better by putting pictures of dead babies on the shit, but because I don’t have access to the pictures cuz the paparazzi agency who paid her for these don’t like me…and also because I was trying to do everything I could to make her disappear, but unfortunately, she’s much bigger than me but her tits definitely aren’t, and if I stop talking about her, no one else notices, people still care and it’s all because at 19 she had bad sex on camera…

So here’s some pics of her sunbathing to carry you into you boring weekend. I’m only posting on the weekend cuz I am so hungover I can’t fucking think straight or muster up the courage to leave my couch….so don’t get used to
it guy who is reading this site now cuz you have nothing else to do. Loser.


Follow This Link To See The Boring Pictures….
GO

Posted in:Paris Hilton|sunbathing|Topless

2010

13

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email…..

I know you probably don’t give a shit, but after reading a few pages of you’re site I cried. It’s just the combination of rape jokes and the fact that you call almost all the women featured either ugly or whores, makes a teenage girl, who happened to be raped as a child want to claw at my wrists. I’s just that instead of letting it ruin my day, I decided to at least write an email saying not to be so bitter towards all women, because it’s can be very hurtful and  devastating to girls who have stumbled upon you’re website like I have. It’s also pretty insensitive to those who have had a history of being molested or raped, just keep that in mind.

I wrote:

You’re right I don’t give a shit….

But I do love women – mainly their vaginas but I don’t like celebrities because they are ugly whores who deserve to get raped. It is all about context.

Sure, the rape jokes aren’t funny, but either is anything I write so remember I don’t tell you how to wear your hair and you shouldn’t tell me how to write my site.

We will get thru this – one rape joke at a time and if you are so fragile that a website makes you want to not only email me but kill yourself – i really suggest you get help – or just kill yourself cuz that’s some serious unstable shit – if you need anything – i am here to talk but only if it about rape….

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are my stepLINKS – I should be out drinking with my friend Eric Behanna but my wife won’t give me money….But at least you have stepLINKS to click…

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Adriana Lima is Weird Looking Sometimes, But She’s Still Fuckable In That Weird Looking Model Type Kinda Way….of the Day
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

12

Mar

Nadine Coyle’s Got Some Serious Legs of the Day

Her name is Nadine Coyle, she’s one of the tramps in the UK band Girls Aloud that has been made famous on blogs thanks to their lead Cheryl Cole and her prison tattoos, and apparently she’s got pretty fucking amazing legs. The kind of legs I wish they had available in parks for me to climb up and swing off of, the legs that would really make amputees hate themselves more and feel even more inadequate that they can’t walk up a flight of scares, it’s like this shit is perfection and I’m surprised I’ve never bothered with her before, because I am pretty sure I think we’re in love…however, that could just be the leftover alcohol in my blood talking…I haven’t been able to focus on my screen all day and I’ve been typing with one eye, so for all I know this bitch is a man, but with one eye and a hangover she looks like an angel…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Legs|Nadine Coyle

2010

12

Mar

Aubry O’Day Naked in her Millions of Milkshakes AD of the Day

There’s an Arab man who lives in LA who made millions in the UK with a chain of Milkshake shops. He decided to bring his concept to America to make more millions because Americans are fat and love all things that make them fatter…but instead of just opening up his stores…he decided to start a paparazzi company called Hollywood.tv, where he would follow celebrities and be respectable to them so that they would slowly become his friends and when they did become his friends he decided to open the milkshake shop with the stupidest fucking name so that he could get them to do PR for him.

The whole thing is pretty fucking cheesy and obvious and the only celebs really into promoting his bullshit were the low level ones who were willing to work for any attention they could get and a lifetime supply of free milkshakes, a price more exciting to them than money, and that’s why you see pigs like Aubry O’Day naked and endorsing the shit cuz it’s food is the only thing that makes their fat asses cum..

Posted in:Aubry O'Day|Millions of Milkshakes|Naked