I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

22

Jul

Blake Lively’s Tight Dress Shows Off her Period Bloat of the Day

Woah, is that a basketball in Blake Lively’s dress….or she’s got her period or maybe it’s coke bloat or it could even be that she’s a sloppy little whore and this dress was not really made for her. But I think it’s most likely pregnancy because that’s what happens when little whores have a little too much to drink and think they’re invincible and nothing bad can happen to them because everything else surprisingly worked out so famously, but the good news is that for the most part that all comes crashing down….

Posted in:Blake Lively|Tight Dress

2009

22

Jul

Brigitte Nielsen is Still a Fucking Monster of the Day

I know some of you like big girls. You know the kind of woman who can lift your pussy body over their head and throw you on the bed to have their way with you…..I am not one of those people. The thought of what Brigitte Nielsen’s vagina looks like after seeing what the rest of her looks like scares me, it is the kind of shit Horror movie monsters are based on, and I don’t see how this could have ever been a sex icon, if anything the only thing that does makes sense is if Sly Stallone used to fuck her with his bicep back when they were married….because no penis touches these vagina walls and if they do she pins them in some submissive hold and chokes them the fuck out….

Posted in:Brigitte Nielsen|Monster

2009

22

Jul

Rachel McAdams Runs of the Day

You know part of the fun when it comes to getting pussy is the chase, especially on those dark nights when running down alleys trying to keep up with a bitch who is screaming for her life who is way more athletic than you because this is a Yoga generation, before either catching up and having your way with her, or losin’ her forcing you to find another girl to chase. cuz shit’s like a sport that is made a lot less cardiovascularly straining with roofies…

Either way, here’s Rachel McAdams on set totally cockteasing you rapists out there….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

22

Jul

Lady Gaga’s Stupid Outfits are Getting Really Fuckin’ Stupid of the Day

Lady Gaga and that face are just mocking us now. I hope you realize that and by you, I mean the world, because she’s pretending to be an artist, while just being a fuckin’ clown and anyone who thinks this is interesting, or cerebral, on some next level shit is a fuckin’ idiot who is just jumpin on the bandwagon cuz they are followers, gay poser, because no straight dude would get down to this, and no real fag would respect any of this. I encourage any stalker weirdo out there who wants to kidnap her, to stop plotting and make a fuckin’ move, cuz I’m tired and starting to get angry, and regret that I grabbed her ass when I saw her in the club, when I should have stabbed her in the fuckin neck with a broken beer bottle….not because I am a violent person, but because it is my artistic vision….and I think it would contribute to her outfit as a great accessory…with actual purpose…instead of whatever is going on with these Kermit the frogs….assholes…

Pics via FAME PICTURES

Posted in:Costumes|Lady Gaga|Outfits

2009

22

Jul

Kate Walsh Shows Off Her Panties of the Day

Here’s the bitch from Grey’s Anatomy showing her anatomy. Good one you fucking asshole. Whenever I write stupid little bullshit things like that I am forced to try to drown myself in the toilet, now that may sound alright to some of you, but you see, we don’t have water and my wife takes sick shits.

The truth is she isn’t even showing off her anatomy. I can’t see pussy lip. She’s got her fuckin’ underwear on, and it’s not even fuckin’ sheer so I can’t even see bush and I don’t even know if she’s got a fire crotch, or if she’s bald like most redheads who are ashamed with the stigma that comes with being a redhead, but I do know she has had sex with Drew Carey and if that doesn’t give you hope, I don’t know what will. Sure he’s a multimillionaire and you aren’t, but maybe she was into him cuz he was bald, fat and wore glasses…right…

On a sidenote, she’s going thru a divorce, so this just be some kind of desperate mating call….

Pics via FAME PICTURES

Posted in:Kate Walsh|Panties

2009

22

Jul

Naomi Watts in Shitty Mom Bikini Pictures of the Day

There’s nothing like pictures of a new mother in a bikini to remind you that having kids is a fucking mistake and that when you are stupidly knocked up because you think that is what you are meant to do, or because you are trying to keep a motherfucker in lock down and it is the only way he’ll keep talking to you, or because you are religious and think that it God intended you to have the fuckin’ thing, get an abortion and I am not just saying that because I am working a business plan for funeral services for abortions and marketing the shit outside the aboriton clinic, I am saying it because look at what not getting an abortion does to your ass…

Posted in:Bikini|Mom|Naomi Watts

2009

22

Jul

Bai Ling Showin’ Off Skin of the Day

The beauty of Asian women is that I can never tell how old they are. I know Bai Ling’s been around longer than I’ve been doing the site and that she is likely in her mid to late 40s, but for some reason she doesn’t look like she’s aged a fuckin’ day since I started this shit. Her body is still tight, her nipples still long, and I assume her pussy still as tight as the sweatshop owner she used to work for who I know claimed it was when she was 12 and a good sport about getting paid with rape. I don’t actually know a sweatshop owner, i guess it’s just a sick fantasy of mine that I live out everytime I try to speak binary code to the chinese girls I meet, you know bust out my calculator and type in series of 0s and 1s, cuz I read that’s what robots understand, hoping one of them will let me play with their ageless vaginas, but they find me offensive and he police don’t usually buy my “I thought she was a councillor” when I get caught buying one I met in daycamp ice cream….

Pics via FAME PICTURES

Posted in:Bai Ling|Clothes

2009

22

Jul

Nicolette Sheridan Suckin’ Bottles of the Day

< I wish I could get excited about watching a girl suck on a water bottle makes it easy to imagine them suckin' a dick. It makes it even easier if you have the picture of her doing it, cuz all it takes is a little photoshop, and next thing you know you are reliving your Michael Bolton blowjob fantasy you've had since you first saw his flowing blonde hair when you were 12, you know because he spent the last decade fuckin' this cunt. Literally. I mean unless he's only into anal and dating chicks is just for show, because his audience is primarily women, and if they knew what the rest of us knew, maybe they'd stop buying his albums and jerking off to his liner notes like it was still the '80s.

Posted in:Bottle|Nicolette Sheridan

2009

22

Jul

Lindsay Lohan’s Happy Legs of the Day

So I emailed Samantha Ronson asking for her BBM because I was given a Blackberry last week, she told me she didn’t use BBM, so I’m on facebook and her status is asking whether she should download the new BBM 5.1, so not only does bitch use BBM, she also knows the fuckin’ version of software she uses, and when I called her out on it. she just ignored me…..Lesbians….They are such penis haters….If I had a pussy, she’d be all up on this like she was all up on Lohan back before she was famous.

Here is Lohan and her legs lookin’ happy to be alive, look at the smile on her face, the same face that lets vagina get smeared all over it, and for some reason I find that such a hard thing to visualize, despite Lohan’s sexually history, I just can’t see her fuckin guys or girls, she’s more of the passed out in the corner puking kind of girl….

I wonder why she is so happy, I guess she got her STD tests back and she passed, because it is hard for lesbians to transmit the HIV virus to each other unless they have cuts in their mouths.

Or Maybe it’s just a beautiful day in Hollywood….

Overall, I really don’t give a fuck…..

Posted in:Happy|Legs|Lindsay Lohan

2009

22

Jul

A Sad Day for Muff Road of the Day

Fox is perverted. They did a story on Muff Road having to change its name in some town in New Zealand because people are stealing the signs for I guess their frat houses, because I can’t see why anyone would want a Muff Road sign, unless they were homos trying to hide their homosexuality by living in a house with a bunch of men and fucking chicks together, with decor representative of manliness like sports posters to show your guest that you can’t be gay, even though you live with a bunch of dudes, cuz you like football, and your empty beer and booze bottle collections, to show your guests how much you can drink, cuz you’re a man who fucks chicks with the boys, and you’re shelf with your porn collection, and old posters of Pam Anderson and a stack of Playboy’s since you’re not Gay even though you’re “frat mates” shove broom handles in your ass.

The whole thing is totally not newsworthy, but made it on the news, because I guess the people at this local Fox affiliate thought it is funny because Muff means vagina and felt they needed to share it with the tri state area…or wherever their shit is broadcast.. Do you get it? I mean the joke, I don’t mean actual muff, know you don’t get actual muff….

Posted in:Muff Road