I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

25

Jun

RIP Motherfucker the Michael Jackson Edition of the Day

I don’t like talking about other people, i like talking about myself, and that’s only because it reminds me how useless I am. but my phone and emails been going off like mad, and I ignored them because I was trying to get this girl who works at my local store to let me play with her DDs, which I thought was far more important than answering, but when I looked and say MJ was dead, I was actually surprised, even though he’s looked like a corpse for years.

Here is a man who was a star his entire fucking life, who has had a song that has had hit songs every fuckin’ decade that we can all identify with and remember learning the dance move along to in hopes of getting the part on the High School cheerleading team despite being a Mexican who just moved there and couldn’t speak english and who everyone laughed at, or if you were that weird french kid who only dressed like Jackson during the “Bad” era. He’s been a huge part of everyone’s life.

I predict he knew this was going to happen, that’s why he sorted out that concert to cash all he could and I just hope you all get a fuckin’ refund, because apparently he won’t be showin up.

RIP Motherfucker to one of the world’s most influential, insane, misunderstood talents, no, I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about Michael Jackson.

On a sidenote I love how the TMZ dude is getting emotional and choked up when reporting this. Maybe he wishes he was one of Jackson’s little boy…

Posted in:Michael Jackson|RIP Motherfucker

2009

25

Jun

RIP Motherfucker the Farrah Fawcett Edition of the Day

I can’t makes jokes about a sex icon who dies, especially when it all started with anal, sure it was anal cancer, but any girl down with anal is a friend of mine, even if it kills her.

It is definitely an end of an era so RIP Motherfucker….and here’s a picture of her making the wrong food choices that may lead to varioius ass cancers….

Posted in:Farrah Fawcett|RIP Motherfucker

2009

25

Jun

Frasier and Some Bikini Pussy of the Day

Apparently when Frasier’s not getting arrested for cocaine possession, when he’s not fuckin’ his Playboy whore wife, and when he’s not on TV shows where I can’t quite decipher if he’s British or Australian, he’s out by the pool gettin’ his picture taken with young pussy in bikinis of the day, because I guess they recognize him being on The Simpson’s or some shit and all those things make his life better than yours…

Posted in:Frasier|Kelsey Grammar

2009

25

Jun

John and Kate Plus 8 in Her Bikini of the Day

This is what an ass that has had 8 kids looks like in a bikini….I was gonna say that 8 is only the number of kids she has, but all the number of asses she’s got, but realized that didn’t make sense, and was just a bad sloppy ass joke.

I guess she’s trying to get her stock up because makin’ millions off TLC wasn’t enough for her and now that she’s been on the cover of every tabloid, she’s gotta keep things up, because I hear when you’ve manipulated your way to that level, the interest starts dippin’ off, you gotta pull another stunt.

That said, John and Kate Plus 8 will be comin’ out as a lesbian in the next few weeks, and in a few months the lesbian video comes out, and in the next few years no one will even remember who she is.

Posted in:Bikini|John and Kate Plus 8

2009

25

Jun

Pre-Sex Change Smut of the Day

Cher you’ve done well. I wish I had a mother who fucked me up enough to wanna cut off my dick.

I guess we don’t need to go into the psychological weirdness of getting a sex change and should celebrate her weird dyke tits for the little amount of time we have left with them because she’s getting them cut off and re-molded into a ball sace.

I guess we could always go into finding out who raped her as a child, makin’ her hate dick so much to never fuck one, but not enough to not want one to do some raping on her own, but I guess we shoould just focus back on her dyke pussy that’s about to get sewed the fuck up, because despite having’ seen one dick and a whole lot of dolphin shaped dildos, it’s almost a virgin pussy, sure it’s not a 15 year old who hasn’t got her period yet vigin pussy, but at least it’s legal virgin pussy.

I know you’d love to grab some burgers with this monster, and by grab burgers I mean pussy huntin’….

Posted in:Chas Bono|Sex Change

2009

25

Jun

Katie Price Destroying Equestrianism of the Day

I think it’s nice to see horseback riding goin’ back to the Wild West days where common whores would ride from brothel to brothel to brothel lookin’ for the latest STD from multiple gold prospectors a night, because I was tired of it being some stuffy bullshit that won’t let me in the gates of their exclusive riding clubs, after telling them I just love watching girls in tight pants bounce up and down on shit. Cunts.

Posted in:Equestrian|Katie Price|Tacky

2009

25

Jun

Kate Moss in Her See Through Dress of the Day

Sometimes I like to hang in truck stops lookin for Kate Moss type women to show me a good time in the public bathroom, you know the kind of girl who cool of been a model if she had all her teeth, if she didn’t have a drug addiction, if maybe life played out for her in a different way, but instead she’s suckin’ me off in her mesh top and booty shorts for a couple bucks and a coffee, reminding me that my life may not be as awesome as it could be, but at least I am not the one suckin’ dick in the truckstop.

Now you know that has nothing to do with Kate Moss other than the fact that they are both whores, so I guess it really has everything to do with her, and here she is in a see through top.

Posted in:Kate Moss|See Through

2009

25

Jun

Katy Perry Naked and Fat of the Day

I’ve been sayign that Katy Perry is a fat worthless pig for a long fuckin’ time, but she’s taken shit too far by posing naked in her tub with a fuckin’ pizza, like she can’t not fuckin’ eat every chance she sits the fuck down….She’s the kind of girl who will end up 400 pounds, just as soon as the cocaine stops, and the eating while taking a shit starts happenin’ more often….That said, I am sure you Americans will love this shit, since food is your favorite thing to do, but I am married to a fat bitch and watching girls eat disgusts me….

Posted in:Fat Naked|Katy Perry

2009

25

Jun

Sienna Miller in a White Bikini of the Day

Sienna Miller is some home wrecking washed up party slut who managed to get a couple of movies and here she is in a white bikini trying to trick us all into thinking that she’s pure, but I’m pretty sure if you found those bottoms on your bedroom floor after fuckin her, you’d find a green stain that would make you regret what you did the night before. I don’t really know waht I am talking about, but I assume Sienna Miller’s fucked enough dudes that her pussy oozes space shit and that’s all I have to say about that cuz I have better things to do than this, like finger bang the girl sitting next to me at McDonald’s. Sure she’s 80, but that just means she will probably invite me over for some backed goods.
Fuck yourself.

Posted in:Bikini|Sienna Miller|White

2009

24

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

The highlight of my week has not been grabbing Gaga’s ass, holding hands with Fergie, or even being on the Seacrest radio show or at a party with all women, but walking my dog at 4 am only to come across a topless 18 year old lookin’ dude and a topless 18 year old lookin girl making out in the middle of the fuckin’ street. I kepted creeping around the block to see if they got bottomless, but instead the caught onto me by the fourth time I walked by them, and they got dressed and went to finish up elsewhere. I can’t do anything right.

I didn’t post today because of shitty internet, I’m still alive, just barely, but that’s nothing new, I figure it all end any day now, you know just creep up on me from no where, at least that’s been the whole point of all these years of hard drinkin, not to be morbid or anything, I’m just an adrenaline junky who is neither athletic or into extreme sports, so I get my brushes with death the old fashioned way, and that’s through unprotected sex, hard drinking, smoking, drug use, and poking myself with syringes I find in the park to see what happens….which I don’t recommend, because hepatitis happens more often than staph infections and HIV, and that shit just fucks with your drinkin’….true story.

Here are my links for the day….

Get Your Web Came Slut On
GO

Kathy Lee Gifford’s Got Talent
GO

Artistic Toothpaste Shamings
GO

These Girls Can Sexually Harass Me Anytime
GO

Little Asian Bikini Contest Girl
GO

Fun with a Sex Toy Helicopter
GO

Man, Something About Jennifer Lopez Lately Makes Me Horny
GO

7 Types of Cockblockers
GO

Poker with a Slut. Nice
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Whoever Is In Charge of Marketing for Burger King Should Get a Raise
GO

Jonathon Rhys Meyers is My Kind of Drunk
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Courtney Love is a Crazy Walking Skeleton
GO

Topless Movie Babes Throwback
GO

Zac Efron & Breckin Meyer Parody Perez Hilton And It’s Actually Pretty Amazing
GO

Darryl Hannah Got Arrested
GO

Ilga in the Woods
GO

Marilyn Manson, It’s Time to Pack It In, Cause You Are Losing Your Mind
GO

Kid Crashes Dads Car
GO

Red Head Hottie
GO

Elena and a Big Dildo
GO

Bolivian TV Reporters Need to Check Their Facts
GO

she Likes the Nasty Boys!
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Angelina Jolie for President?
GO

Cartoon or Not, I Would Still Bang CLEO
GO

Louise Glover and Triniana Iglesias topless
GO

Now That’s An Ass I’d Like to Be All Over
GO

Meet Gwen
GO

Here Come The Lady GaGa Drones…Ugh
GO

Brandy Talore and Her 36DDDs!!!
GO

And Another Glorious Red Head
GO

Kelly Clarkson is Right About Perez Hilton
GO

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog!
GO

Of Course They Can’t Count, They Are Pornstars, Not Astronauts
GO

Okay, Well Dakota Fanning Just Made Me Want to Puke
GO

Slash and Conan O’Brian Went Guitar Shopping Off Craigslist
GO

Weird Chicks On Acid AT Festivals ARe Always Good For a Laugh
GO

The Five Stages of a Drunken Night
GO

9 Hottest Filipino Women…..
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS