Michael Jackson Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

24

Jun

Michael Jackson Still Scares Me a Year After his “Death” of the Day

Dead or alive, Michael Jackson fucking scares….and I have no idea how creating this special commemorative wax figure of the motherfucker really celebrates the year anniversary of his death…when the real celebration is all the kids he used to get with have had a year for their assholes to heal….

I am not even sure if this fucker is dead, his death revitalized his career, got him out of debt, would have been easy to stage, and he may not have even been a real human for all we fucking know, based on his serious resemblance to ET. Maybe motherfucker just went back to the planet he came from…..

Either way, this is some zombie or robot shit I need to consult with my weird lonely neighbor who knows a lot about these things, but I’m convinced this is the real MJ, he’s just turned off, but that’ll all change when little boys come through the museum and rub up against him for a picture….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Michael Jackson

2010

26

Jan

Best Lead into a Michael Jackson Story of the Day

7 Comments »

Here’s some redneck, probbaly Christian piece of welfare trash, who if she stepped back for a secord and looked in the mirror would realize there is no fucking God because if there was a fucking God, he wouldn’t turn anyone into her….not even the worst fucking person out there deserves to be a half retarded redneck piece of trash who looks like something greasy, fat and drying willing to fuck anyone just to feel loved if just for a minute….

After deciphering her poverty accent, I was suprised to realize she was upset a teacher exposed her kids by explaining sex and in turn stealing their innocence…because she looks like the kind of pussy who would bed anything she could as often as she could, explaining her pregnancy she held onto for dear life, and in turn the baby she coddles cuz no cock is desperate enough to have proof that he fucked this thing follow him around for life….but then again, there is always immaculate conception…Maybe there is a god!!

The funniest shit in all this is that she thinks raising her kid in the church, hiding the real life sex issues and sheltering her trash is gonna make her daughter defy statistics that state redneck pussy gets knocked up the first time at 14 and has a family of 3 by 18. Idiots.

Either way, the story made for good lead in to the MJ story…

Posted in:Michael Jackson|Pedophile

2009

14

Dec

Michael Jackson Comes Out of Hiding of the Day

2 Comments »

I knew MJ was alive. I told everyone that he couldn’t handle the pressure of the 50 shows he had lined up and he had an insurrance policy on the shit and the whole thing would get him out of debt while getting everyone their money back, only to totally revamp his career and focus the public on his actual talent, which we all know he had and not on his sex with little boys, which we all know he did. I figured he was just going to live in a palace inthe middle-east, wearing a burka everytime he leaves, allowing him to live a seriously normal life, or maybe he was sent back to whatever planet he and his family is from, because if aliens or people from the future coming to make an impact in the past actually do exist, like some kind of sci-fi movie you’ve masturbated to….the Jackson’s may just be proof….but I guess he couldn’t resist all the posiitve love and support he has been getting the last 6 months, making him think it was a good idea to finally show his face, because maybe escaping the entertainment industry isn’t really what he actually wants, even though when he made the desision to stage his death, he was sure it was the only way… and it’s nice to see him smiling again……

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Event|Michael Jackson

2009

21

Oct

Crackhead Channels Michael Jackson’s Ghost of the Day

7 Comments »

I think life is more entertaining with drunks and addicts cuz they are funny and just don’t give a fuck. Sure they usually stink, but who am I kidding, I fucking stink too. I have been drunk and got crackhead chicks to show me their pussies for a few bucks, I have had crackhead dudes drop their pants, and the ultimate crackhead moment, other than the numerous crackheads I’ve had sex with, or accidentally eaten out, was when a crackhead wanted to have a dick size competition with a friend of mine, using 3 hot chicks leaving the club as the judges, only to pull out a huge dirty erection and chase one of the girls into a back alley….I never found out what happened to her, because I went home but I am sure it ended in HIV transmission.

That said, here’s some crack head channeling the ghost of Michael Jackson thru song, which is better than this guy I know who channels Michael Jackson thru molesting little kids, or me who channels Michael Jackson thru masturbation, because sometimes, when I touch myself, I like to feel like the star of the show and all these dead celebs are watching me in amazement, sure it’s weird, but Estelle Getty, Patrick Swayze, Aaron Spelling and Anna Nicole Smith really knows how to make me cum…..

Posted in:Crackhead|Michael Jackson

2009

12

Oct

New Michael Jackson Song of the Day

6 Comments »

If you’re wondering why Michael Jackson has a new song after motherfucker died, it’s because he’s not dead. He’s just smart business and knows that if he died, he’d be remembered as the superstar he once was, and not as the child molesting weirdo he became. He sold more albums in decades after death, brought new interest to his brand, got out of debt and got out of a concert he didn’t want to do all while being left the fuck alone in the middle east, where he goes out dressed like an arab wife, covered head to fucking toe, living a normal life all while distracting the world from the corrupt Iranian election. Seriously, nothing in entertainment is what you think it is. There’s too much money involved for it to be what it appears to be.

Posted in:Michael Jackson

2009

21

Jul

Latoya Jackson’s Hot Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I like to keep my Michael Jackson masturbation material as up to date as possibe abd since he’s gone off and “Died” on me, I’m forced to use the second best thing to his hot skinny little corpse of a body and cartoon like face and that’s where Latoya Jackson comes in because she is that she is what Michael would look like had he gone through with the sex change operation, you know instead of dying and the whole thing was my dirty little secret until today, I just can’t contain myself.

Posted in:Latoya Jackson|Michael Jackson

2009

15

Jul

Michael Jackson’s 1984 Video Shoot of the Day

7 Comments »

I just saw this video from the Michael Jackson Pepsi shoot where he caught on fire. It was a big story in 1984. I figured I’d share the video even if I am all out of Michael Jackson jokes, you know he’s been dead for close to a month and I am burnt out by all the MJ shit I’ve heard and seen, but not as burnt as his scalp in this video…before the crew beat it out…. Just beat it.

Posted in:Fire|Hair|Michael Jackson

2009

07

Jul

Last Chance to Get Off to Michael Jackson of the Day

6 Comments »

I did it for Farrah Fawcett so it’s only fair that I do it for Michael Jackson so here’s your last chance to jerk off to Michael Jackson. I’m talking to you Macaulay Culkin.

From this day on it is just the sick memories you have of your first sexual experience, as well as his music, videos and movies, because after today, he’s gonna be pretty hard to reach, maybe a little “indisposed”.

And to the rest of you who have been hard for him all week – this shit’s for you. Now go watch the Memorial Service.

Live TV : Ustream

Posted in:Casket|Funeral|Michael Jackson

2009

29

Jun

Lindsay Lohan Does the Michael Jackson in Her Bikini Bottoms of the Day

4 Comments »

I haven’t been on the computer all weekend, because it is summber and I prefer spending my time lookin at real girls in bikinis, or at least in short skirts and skimpy clothes, so I didn’t bother posting these Lohan in her bikini bottoms doin’ the Michael Jackson in Vegas celebrating her birthday, but that’s mainly because of severe sadness that I wasn’t invited to her party, like this was elementary school, and I was the weird fat kid no one likes, which I guess is a common theme in my life.

I am so fuckin’ tired of this MJ shit, like dude hasn’t had so much air play, since he fingered a 10 year old in his Hot Air Baloon, but this lesbian pussy grab picture is alright, because like all lesbians, I appreciate a good pussy grab, finger, lick, or pretty much anything vagina related, but unlike all lesbians I am not so down with construction boots, talking about women’s rights in a man’s world, huggin’ trees while eating organic trail mix, before shaving their heads, and rollin’ their flannel shirts up to rip off every penis that comes their way, because they are still bitter they got raped/molested or ignored when they were lesbian….

Here are the picssss….or the pic….but that’s not as exiting without all the “s’s”

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Michael Jackson|Panties

2009

25

Jun

RIP Motherfucker the Michael Jackson Edition of the Day

36 Comments »

I don’t like talking about other people, i like talking about myself, and that’s only because it reminds me how useless I am. but my phone and emails been going off like mad, and I ignored them because I was trying to get this girl who works at my local store to let me play with her DDs, which I thought was far more important than answering, but when I looked and say MJ was dead, I was actually surprised, even though he’s looked like a corpse for years.

Here is a man who was a star his entire fucking life, who has had a song that has had hit songs every fuckin’ decade that we can all identify with and remember learning the dance move along to in hopes of getting the part on the High School cheerleading team despite being a Mexican who just moved there and couldn’t speak english and who everyone laughed at, or if you were that weird french kid who only dressed like Jackson during the “Bad” era. He’s been a huge part of everyone’s life.

I predict he knew this was going to happen, that’s why he sorted out that concert to cash all he could and I just hope you all get a fuckin’ refund, because apparently he won’t be showin up.

RIP Motherfucker to one of the world’s most influential, insane, misunderstood talents, no, I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about Michael Jackson.

On a sidenote I love how the TMZ dude is getting emotional and choked up when reporting this. Maybe he wishes he was one of Jackson’s little boy…