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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Oct

Jodie Marsh and Her Whip Cream Nose of the Day

5 Comments »

Having married a woman with an eating disorder and not the good kind that leaves you skinny and convulsing due to emaciation, I have no interest in food representing sex. After seeing someone dive into a pint of ice cream or a can of whip cream, or eat an entire cake in severe desperation and frenzy, you know, trying to get it all the fuck in in as little time possible, I just can’t block that out and appreciate a hot 20 year old girl with a little ice cream down her chin, or a girl at starbucks acting silly with whip cream. I like to keep my porn, my fetishes and eating separate.

So seeing Jodie Marsh trying to be sexy with Starbucks whip cream at some promotional event may be worth something to you but I just see a waste of tits, and it’s pretty much as exciting to me as seeing a group of old ladies talking about their grandkids over hot chocolate, where the one with Alzheimers forgets hot to drink and ends up covered in white frothy goodness, which could be hot if you think about the other things she’ll forget, like you raping her, provided you’re an any pussy’s good pussy kind of guy, which I am as long as it hasn’t hit it’s expiration date of 60.

The other thing that’s not hot is that even if you can see past the whole hang-up I’ve got about food and sex, and can imagine yourself cumming on her face and having her make these kinds of faces because of you, you gotta remember that girls who act like they are sluts are generally the worst in bed, so despite popular belief, the only place Jodie Marsh lets dudes cum is in the fuckin’ condom if their lucky, or on themselves after jerking off in the bathroom after she cocked teased them all night, but won’t let them inside her, because she thinks she’s too good for that and because she doesn’t want it biting into her time doing absolutely nothing, but managing to be richer than all of us.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Oct

Selma Blair Trying to be Trash of the Day

5 Comments »

Selma Blair plays some trashy celebrity obsessed girl on some new TV show, that is really a rip off of a successful show in Australia, but as America does, decided to take it as their own, and make their interpretation of it available on TVs everywhere. I am not entirely sure if it has dropped or not and I am not going to find out because I am tired, lazy and have other things to do, but I do know that I have never seen it.

Not only is it a stretch that Selma Blair plays some young girl, considering she’s pushing 40, but to assume that she is trash while taking breaks to eat whatever the fuck she’s eating, that looks expensive, proves she’s nothing but a rich cunt mocking my people and I find that offensive.

Another thing I find offensive is when I was waiiting in line to get my wife a sandwich today, the girl in front of me, who had to be 14 years old, when asked if she wanted the six or twelve inch sub, said that they should make them 9 inches, because that’s the perfect sign, pretty much letting us all know that she’s had 9 inch dick before she even got her period. I guess I could be overanalyzing, maybe it was a reference to her hunger level, you know, 6 being too small and 12 being too big, but if you saw the slutty school girl outfit she was wearing, you’d know that by the time she does get her period, she’ll be pregnant, because up until now, letting guys cum in her hasn’t really been a big deal but has become something she’s used to. I predict many abortions for this girl, just like I predict Selma Blair’s had her own share of abortions, which I guess is normal, if you’re not a republican and have spent the last 10 years getting high and getting fucked because work has been pretty limited and I guess what it all comes down to, is who really gives a shit, this is Selma fucking Blair, my mailman has more fans than she does and all he does is drop bills off for people all day…..

Posted in:Selma Blair|Trash

2008

Oct

Diddy is an Asshole of the Day

8 Comments »

In keeping shit black for my one and only Black Wednesday since starting the site, that will probably end afer this post, I decied to post this video of a manic Diddy at 5 am that he shot for his youtube diaries where bragging that he’s just like all of us, nothing but a man with a dream from Harlem, and now he’s done gone bought a clothing line called Enyce, while American is pretty much dying as the economy explodes, you know just like all of us, sitting on his private jet, paying whores to rub his insane head, spending stupid money, while the rest of us can barely afford a bag of chips and I am not talking the good chips, I am talking the 89 cent no name chips. Then he goes off calling himself the black Buffet repeatedly, because motherfucker’s got an ego, while explaining why he did what he did, pretty much proving the economic crisis works out nicely for the rich, while killin’ off the poor. So maybe Diddy is right, maybe he is just like us, you know considering we can’t afford a pot to piss in, while he owns millions of dollars worth of hip hop gear, but I like to think he’s fuckin’ crazy and needs to be stopped, so if you see any Enyce on special at your local TJ Maxx, don’t buy it, because if you do, you’re just lining this cocksuckers pockets and I think we’ve done enough of that. He’s a fucking rat-faced motherfucker who exploited his friend’s death to end up where he is today, he’s got no fucking soul, but he’s got soles on his 1000 pairs of expensive shoes he keeps in his dressing room. This video offended me, mainly because he was trying to tell me that I should be working at 5 am, because he is and he’s such a fucking success, while I think you should be drinking at 5 am. I guess that’s just one of our many differences. I guess Diddy isn’t quite like me at all.

Posted in:Asshole|Diddy|Puff Daddy|Sean John

2008

Oct

Stupid Black Video of the Day

9 Comments »

I don’t understand black comedy, but black people do. I went over to my black friend’ who was selling me weed at the time’s house a few years ago, and dude only had black comedies in his DVD collection. I’m talking Soul Plane, Friday, How High and the list goes on an on of movies I have never seen and will never understand. I tried sitting down to watch one with him after smoking a joint, and I didn’t laugh once. I didn’t get the shit. I consider myself pretty fucking ghetto, but not black ghetto and I guess culturally, I am just not in sync like I was Justin Timberlake.

This video was emailed to me called I Like Big Girls, by some dude who is big in the black comedy scene and has been in movies like Dr Doolittle 2, and the sequels to other hit black movies, making this motherfucker a sequel to Bernie Mac, Cedric the Entertainer, Eddie Murphey, and other black funny people and I decided to post it, because it isn’t funny to me, mainly because I am married to a big girl and the last thing I do is like her, shit’s a fucking nightmare, and gets pretty disgusting and out of hand, and instead of ripping into my one black reader by making fun of stereotypes of fried chicken, sex with white women and watermelon, I decided to give this Mike Epps motherfucker a chance….in retrospect, it was a pretty bad idea, because I just watched the video after writing this, and it pretty much sucked.

Drunkenstepfather.com, always wasting your time, with the worse possible uninteresting shit you can find on the net is my new slogan. I should make stickers…really fucking long stickers….just watch the video.

Update: Fuck it, here’s a 15 minute video of Coco in a g-string, showing off her fake tits and crazy ass….

Now I feel better about this post….

Posted in:Comedy Song|Mike Epps

2008

Oct

People Like Meagan Good of the Day

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Here’s a video of busty Meagan Good at the Saw V premiere getting bugged by tons of people for autographs. I was a little surprised considering I had no idea who she was this morning, then slowly figued things out thanks to IMDB and realized that I saw her in a movie called D.E.B.S. It was about 4 or 5 years ago and snuck into the theater alone, thinking it would be funny to be the creepy old guy in a theatre filled with 14 year old girls, not because I want to do creepy things to them, but because I wanted people to think that I did, and upon sitting in my seat, realized half the audience was creepy old guys who were there alone, so in actual fact I wasn’t alone at all, but amongst like minded people. I don’t remember the movie, I just remember some dude next to me getting kicked out for exposing himself to the girls sitting next to him, but that was a long time ago.

I realize that her fame probably didn’t come from D.E.B.S. and that the people begging for autographs probably think she’s Flo Jo, Denzel Washington or some other famous black person, because when I’ve been to LA, I realize that a lot of tourists are there to spot stars and they’ll be happy meeting pretty much anyone who’s ever been on their TV in any shape or form, and they stand in places they think the celebs will go, like the Chinese theater, and hope the premiere they are going to be standing outside is a little more high profile than Saw V so that the autograph’s and stories of meeting someone famous are a little better received at the watercooler back in Japan or China where these kinds of fame hunting tourists are usually from, instead of coming back with Meagan Good’s autograph and constantly having to explain to people you are bragging to, who she is…..

Either way, here are the stills from the premiere, where you can see Meagan Good wearing a pretty tight pair of leather leggings from American Apparel, in the event you were lookin’ for a pair of your own, because you like the way tight fabric feels against your balls, and you are tired of always sneak into the laundry room to try on your mom’s pantyhose, don’t worry, no one actually knows about that, your mom just figures the dryer stretched them all out, she’d never think her baby was such a sick motherfucker, thank god for denial….

UPDATE: An insider told me the reason Meagan Good is getting rushed is because they thought she stole something.

Posted in:Meagan Good|Premiere|Saw

2008

Oct

Marisa Miller Does Complex of the Day

1 Comment »

So it looks like Marisa Miller has finally achieved the level of fame that I have by being featured in Complex 10 months after me. I mean sure, I wasn’t their covergirl, and I think my write up was 100 words at the back of the issue at best, but it was still the highlight of my year, maybe even my life, because it is the only recognition I have ever received, pretty much ever and for someone like Marisa Miller, who’s been on the cover of all magazines all these years, it’s probably not a big deal, but to someone like you who has been jerking off to Marisa Miller all these years it probably is.

The truth is since being featured in Complex, the company has really done their part to make me feel like family. Just last week I reached out to Marc Ecko asking for some free clothes, since he owns the magazine and Ecko and he never responded, then there was the time a few months ago when I asked him if he could get me tickets to the Lil Wayne show for my stepdaughter and her hot teenage friends and he never got back to me, or the time I reached out to him asking for some money, or a job, or anything because I was struggling and never hearing back from him, then there was my birthday when I got no card or gift from him and his birthday when I got no invitation. I guess Complex really aren’t like family at all…..but they did give you something you wanted and that’s more Marisa Miller in a bikini, which does nothing for me, not because I am gay or due to my impotence, because not getting hard doesn’t mean not getting horny, but because I think she looks old, boring, and like a less attractive stripper than the strippers I am used to. I see the whole All American bullshit, and maybe that’s the real reason why I find nothing interesting about her and I am sure some of you probably disagree. So this one’s for Ellen Degeneres and all you’ve she’s done for the lesbian movement, life wasn’t better when women hated men secretly. Thanks for that.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS, AND READ WHAT SHE HAD TO SAY AS YOU JERK OF, FOLLOW THIS LINK
GO

Posted in:Complex|Marisa Miller

2008

Oct

Perez Hilton On Paris Hilton’s TV Show and God Didn’t Strike Them Down of the Day

3 Comments »

So Perez Hilton is supposed to be some unbiased newsreporter, at least he’s made himself famous reporting “exclusive” celebrity stories as a third party outsider, who can’t get laid and who makes way too much fucking money by owning the celebrity gossip world because people his 15 year old girl commentary and I don’t mean commentary on their budding tits, but commentary that would make anyone thing someone with budding tits was writing it and it turns out he is Paris Hilton consultant on her show no one watches, or at least the show I hope no one watches because it looks like shit.

I don’t understand how this obese man has enough time to travel from event to event, do radio shows, jerk off on chat with gay boys he’s picked up because they want to be featured on his site, and film shitty segments on Paris Show. All they need is to throw David Blaine on this and it will be the worst thing to possible pollute your TV.

I hear they are working on a Sitcom called “When Aids Meets Herpes”.

I don’t know why I posted this, I blame just waking up and having it be the first thing I’ve seen today, and considering that little fact you should be happy I am posting at all, and not trying to drink to forget this garbage ever happened…..and that God and by God, I mean the Mexican PA I know who works the show, didn’t take advantage of the opportunity and accidentally drop a lighting fixture to maybe accidentally catch the set on fire so they both go down in a DJ AM caliber blaze of annoying. Riding the world of 2 diseases that are far worse than any actual disease.

Ok.

Now It’s time to get posting the serious stuff. Stay tuned. That is if this didn’t make you kill yourself…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Perez Hilton

2008

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

Some shit came up where I couldn’t sit on the computer all day. I like to think it’s because I was on a jet flying somewhere luxurious, but the truth is my computer died again, my wife gave me bullshit jobs to do, then I had to help this asshole I know move, because he leant me some money awhile ago and when he came to collect, he wasn’t too down with me giving him empty bottles, my wife’s dog, a pug, that she came home with Saturday without asking me if I wanted a fucking dog or not and 2 lbs of salomi, it is the economic crisis afterall and he looked desperate, but not desperate enough, so I told him I’d I do some work for him today and didn’t expect it to take me 4 fucking hours.

So I didn’t die today, and since my computer did, I am borrowing a friend’s computer for the next couple of days, until I can come up with 20 bucks to get a new one, but in the meantime, here are my links while I go clean up two days of dog piss from the stepPUG who I hate but who seems to love me. I am told shit days like today happen to all of us, but I am not sure if that is true, since I don’t have any friends, so as far as I’m concerned they just shouldn’t happen to me but At least I have these links to keep you up to date with shit going on on the internet. So click them….

Because It’s cheaper Than a Tuesday Night Movie and More Entertaining….
GO

Lesbian Outfit of the Day….
GO

I Guess You Can’t Blame Him For Being Stupid
He’s Wearing Roller Blades Afterall
GO

I Know I Bitch About Her A Lot, But In The End, Christina Aguilera and Her Tits Are Okay With Me
GO

Megan Good’s Tits Best Moments
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Miranda Kerr Makes Up For That Hat She Was WEaring Yesterday By Taking Her Top Off in FHM
GO

Some Vintage stepTV to Remind You How mush Your Shitty Life is Better Than Some Other People’s
GO

Katie Price Completes Her Transformation into Oompa Loompa
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Abi Titmuss Moons The Camera
GO

Kim Jogn Il and I Have More in Common Than I Thought
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Kate Hudson at Some Event or Another, Most Likely Prowling for Her Boyfriend of the Week
GO

Pee-Wee’s Leprechaun Halloween
GO

Trust Me, Sex is Alot More Fun When You’re Doing It, Instead of Just Talking About It
GO

Korean Baseball Brawl Isn’t a Brawl At All
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Nick Hogan is Out of Jail
GO

Christmas On Mars
GO

Claymation Chess
GO

Free Breast Exam!!
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Web Cam Striptease Fun
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This Madonna and A-Rod Make Steroid Babies….
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Anne Hathaway, WTF Are You Wearing
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Striptease of the Day
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Sex Has Always Been Fun, And Now It’s Easy Too
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Paintball Prank
GO

It’s a Raid!!
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Cry Baby Spiderman Gets No Candy on Halloween
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She May Be Sad She Lost Her Bikini, But I’m Not
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If You’re Gonna Dine and Dash, It’s Bext to Not Leave Your Purse at the Table
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Heather Carolin is Your Red Head Fantasy
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Mena Suvari is Lookin Good at the Burberry Store Opening
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Top 10 Fauxmosexual Lesbians from Hollywood
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Samantha Takes Off Her Swimsuit
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Lookin’ Good Sweetheart.
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Crystal Forscutt is Divine
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Little Waynes Assistant Ratted Him Out; Has Shortened Life Expectancy
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Shay Laren is in a Little Jean Skirt
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The British Hate Sarah Silverman
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Audrina Patridge in bikini getting dunked on Ellen show
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Some Old Pics of the Nanny in a Bikini….
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Build a Hydrogen Generator
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Keira Knightley Doesn’t Wear a Bra and Her Nipples Are Hard (I’ve had complaints this site is spam, I was told by the webmaster it isn’t)
GO GO
Janice Dickinson Looks Scary as Shit in This Photoshoot…
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The Best Videogames of All Time Tournament
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A Jenna Jameson Pregnancy Pic to Prove She’s Got a Uterus
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Take a Break, Watch Some Porn
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl’s Tits and G-String
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Piss Like a Man
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Oct

Traci Bingham in Some Staged Pics of the Day

2 Comments »

So Traci Bingham asked the paparazzi to join her while shopping for sports equipment because times are tough for her, you know with the whole not working since Baywatch thing, and no one knowing who she is thing. She figured that she’d get a deal on the gear if she caused a little ruckus by doing a photoshoot in the store because they will assume she’s someone important, so it came as a shock to her when the manager asked them to leave because he just assumed she was doing some photoshoot for a night school project or some shit, she told him her name and he still had no idea who she was, then she told him she was on Baywatch and he still couldn’t really place her, but eventually just let her go through with it because he liked her tits and really doesn’t get paid enough to argue or spend all that much time with persistent customers who think they are famous, but when it came time for her to buy whatever she ended up buying, he rejected her request for a discount, because that was just asking for too much.

Either way, I know some of you like seeing girls riding little girl bikes and it is a nice change of pace that this time, the girl on the bike you’re jerking off to isn’t 7 years old, like they normally are, you sick fuck.

Posted in:Staged Pics|Traci Bingham

2008

Oct

Mary Kate Olsen Gets in a Fender Bender of the Day

4 Comments »

I borrowed a friend’s car the other day to take my wife to the Hospital because we thought she was having a heart attack, at least we were hoping she was having a heart attack and by we, I mean me. I figure it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to deal with her bullshit, if she’s in heaven. I’m just jokin’ around, but when we were parking, something I am not very good at, despite having been a valet for about a month before getting fired for complaints of cars being scratched up because I don’t really have very good coordination and I always feel massively slow and hungover, usually because I am hungover, but this time I didn’t actually hit the car behind me to let me know I had gone just far enough, but instead stopped an inch away from it. The good news is that the owner of the Honda was standing right next to her car, walking her massive lesbian dog, that matched her lesbian outfit and her lesbian attitude. She barked at me saying something like “did you hit my car” and I responded saying something like “no, but I wish I had” leading to her getting really mad at me and getting in my face because she felt that I was being rude. So I asked her if she was just jealous that I had a woman with me and that I didn’t have to hide my sexuality from the world, leading to a lonely life in a shitty apartment with a dog who sometimes licks my pussy, with his luscious tongue, that despite it’s magical length and ability, still doesn’t compare to a real woman to share my pussy with and that’s when the dog bit me. Bitches.

My wife sided with her, because she’s not as loyal as a dog, saying something like I am abusive to women, I am a pig, I spend my days ripping into chicks, because I am a weak scared coward, so I did what anyone would do and bit her.

Here’s a video of Mary Kate Olsen’s friend in her trendy hippie car bumping into the car behind her despite having a whole lot of room, because she’s a worse driver than me. The truth is that this wouldn’t have been a fuckin’ issue had the paparazzi not been there to watch their every move and I guess the good news is that Mary Kate wasn’t driving because the damage would have been a hell of a lot worse, since she’s always high or at least looks like she is.

Posted in:Fender Bender|Mary-Kate Olsen