I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

20

Oct

The Sun is Setting On Tara Reid’s Permanent Spring Break of the Day

Sloppy skinny girls, or what I used to call “Slim-Fats” are usually a hell of a lot worse to fuck that fat chicks, paritally because they are false advertising and I hate being led to, but mainly because they are just these loose skinned dumpy things being held together with tight clothing and when your hand gets lost in saggy ass cheek between bone and anus, it’s hard to stay hard. At least with fat chicks, you know what you’re getting from the start and usually you don’t care what they look like naked, as long as they have a vagina, because you are horny enough to even be talking to them in the first place, and once you get their clothes off you realize that shit may be disgusting, but her obesity feels a lot firmer than you expected because her skin is so taut, like the skin of a drum working overtime to keep her fat from busting out at the seams. It’s the difference of putting a condom on a huge dick, versus a pencil dick, not that I have experience in either, but I was trying to find something you could relate to, like the guy I know who used to jerk off with condoms to get used to using them provided a girl every slept with him….

Either way, it looks like last call is around the corner for Tara Reid, the pool swim up bar is closing, the sun is setting and hurricane season is moving in. The resort is closing and the patrons have all gone back to their every day lives with nothing but memories and herpes, both last for life, but one is a lot more of a mood killer during first date conversation over dinner, Spring Break is over, for most it lasts a week, for Tara Reid, it’s lasted 10 years.

She’s past her prime and she’s had her time. Now she’s just the sloppy lookin’ fake titty whore with a tan at the public pool while her kids are taking swimming lessons, remember the good ol’ days at Club Med where she had her first gangbang and got on stage naked after too much tequila, and it’s a pretty sad day for all of us, because she was living the dream, an inspiration to us all, and it’s done. RIP Tara Reid Motherfucker and your slaughtered ass, the real casuality of this lifestyle of excess.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Tara Reid

2008

20

Oct

Saturday Night Live is Fucking Garbage of the Day

I accidentally watched this shit and I mean serious fucking shit this weekend because I was too lazy to change the channel at this asshole’s house I was at, it turned out to be one of the bigger mistakes of my life, I mean other than picking up my first drink, never getting educated, never landing a real job or being able to keep a job long enough to climb up the ladder to retirement, or sleeping with the trash I’ve stuck my dick on, or marrying my wife despite her being fat, but it was definitely up there.

I don’t have to really give you my reasons why I hate this smut, I figure it does a good enough job of it. It is not funny, it is weak, and I hate weak….despite producing weak content everyday, I don’t like to subject myself to that kind of thing….

Speaking of weak, I hate Andy Samberg. I posted about how Marky Mark is an anti semite, at least when it comes to generating some publicity about himself, where he threatened to beat up the Jew, then a couple days later he’s making a fool of himself on SNL trying to regulate this beef no one cares about in the lamest fucking way. I hate how Samberg backed down from his joke, if you say it or do it, stick to your guns and don’t be a pussy about it, I hate how Wahlberg threw a fake punch and said let’s hug it out bitch, like he used to say while sucking his male backup dancer from The Funky Bunches dick before he found Jesus.

Either way, here’s the clip.

The only way this could have been a bigger disaster of a show, would have been if they threw in David Blain jumping off a tower on cables and the cast of The Hills whining about their daily irrelevant drama only teenage girls care about because they wish their lives were that interesting.

Bonues….They did this Sarah Palin Rap….

Saturday Night Live, you can kill yourself now, people have tried to save you, they’ve put you on suicide watch, they put you through rehab took you off cocaine and cleaned you up and you still fucking suck. So please die.

Posted in:Saturday Night Live|Sucks

2008

20

Oct

Taylor Swift Sings Some Rihanna of the Day

I saw this shit on PerezHilton or something over the weekend and figured I’d post it because posting pictures is so much uploading and cropping and causes such an annoying uprising with the Paparazzi Agencies, doesn’t mean I am not going to post images, just means I am lazy right now and posting this.

It is Taylor Swift singing some Rihanna “Take a Bow” shit and it’s clearing in reference to getting dumped by the Jonas brother who she pretends she didn’t suck off, because he cheated on her with the other Jonas brother. The ones who pretend to be wholesome are the ones paying hookers to shove live ferrets in their asses while fucking a fake vagina they made out of deli meat and cardboard.

I figured this video won’t turn you on, but go to 3 minutes 45, she talks about being 11 and I know you’re so down with that. Weirdo.

Posted in:Rihanna Cover|Taylor Swift

2008

20

Oct

Rapist Training Video of the Day

If you’re a chachi motherfucker and acting like an asshole while smoking your expensive Cuban cigar to draw attention to yourself that didn’t work because you didn’t get you any stupid bottle whore pussy, you should do what every smart sexually frustrated 9 to 5 millionaire does when they see a blow up doll on the street being used as some kind of prop at an Asian bachelor party, and that’s beat it up like the whore that it is, then give it a little diddle because you like vagina. Maybe one day, you can make to the big leagues and do that to a real woman, but only if you’re lucky I guess. You sick fuck.

Posted in:stepTV

2008

17

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

My site seemed to have got hacked and stopped working last night and it continued through today, it is annoying but I’ve got used to it and figure I can’t control these things, so why bother getting all worked up about the shit. People don’t like me because they don’t find my jokes funny and decide to personally attack me and I just have to come to terms with that.

I got a couple funny emails though. The first one from the stepLINKS picture yesterday (pictured again today)

Hi Umm that supposed slut of the day is me, and i would really like to know how u got a hold of it?
 
Im pretty upset bc that whole little story line is bullshit

My answer is basic, I am pretty tipsy right now, and not feeling very mean or up for controversy, especially when the no names are the ones who sue.

I found your pictures on a porn site, the real question is why the fuck was it taken, did some dude promise you fame, was your daddy not around when you were growing up? More importantlywhy are you on a porn site and not showing your pussy. My story is true, you’re just not the bitch I was talking about, so send me pussy pics like you should have had included in your porn set and we can all move on with our lives….. Love, Jesus

The second one is a comment from Caroline D’Amore’s sister defending her Honor:

I TRULY FEEL SORRY FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE RAGGING ON MY SISTER. YOU DONT KNOW HER AND EVERY WORD YOU’VE WRITTEN ABOUT HER IS FALSE. “DJING BADLY� AS YOU CALL IT, IS A JOB AND SHE GETS PAID A SHIT LOAD OF MONEY TO DO IT. IM SO SORRY THAT YOU ARE ALL FAT AND UGLY. I REALLY HOPE IT MAKES YOU FEEL A LIL BIT BETTER ABOUT YOUR UNFORTUNATE FACES TO PUT DOWN SOMEONE YOUVE NEVER EVEN MET BECAUSE IT MUST BE HARD BEING YOU. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR PATHETIC little LIVES.
LOTS OF LOVE,

BON BON XOXO 😛

I got no answer to that, I was distracted by the caps lock, I emailed her asking for a picture and formal statement about how the site sucks and she responded by telling me I am mean, it’s a work in progress but as a side note, it’s nice to see they are passing my site around their family like I was the Pizza Pie that made their dad rich and able to raise these fucking robot brats…..

Here are my links:

I Know You’re Not Gonna Get Laid Anyways, So you Might As Well Rub One Out To Someone Who Pretends to Care…..It’s Less Depressing….
GO

Sasha Grey Makes the Jump From Dirty Mattress to Silver Screen
GO

Peace Offering
GO

Liz Hurley Has the Cleavage to End All Cleavage Once Again
GO

Howard Stern Made a Mistake, Beth Stern is Fucking Boring
GO

Can’t Resist a Bitch in Fishnets
GO

Tea Leoni is Back on the Market; Possibly Banging Billy Bob Thornton
GO

Paris Hilton Panty Upskirt
GO

Heather Vandeve is Your Friday Fantasy
GO

Here’s to You, Virgin
GO

Wonder Women Linda Carter is Lookin Good
GO

Beer Pong
GO

Dancer Has a Wardrobe Malfunction
GO

Sometimes Skaters Actually Make Tricks
GO

Hayden Airs Her No Panties…Air
GO

Kids, Meets Satan, And I Don’t Mean That Asshole Who Runs My Forum
GO

Jodie March and Her Big Ol’ Tits is a Lesbian
GO

Russian Roads Need Some Work
GO

Step TV Throwback of the Day
GO

Because You Can Never Have Enough Porno
GO

The Whole World Hates Katie Holmes
GO

Carli Banks is Delicious
GO

Toastee Exposed
GO

Miley Cyrus is HORNY
GO

Jamie Lynns Boyfriend is a Class Act
GO

Survivor Homos
GO

striptease of the Day
GO

Machete Robbery
GO

Geriatric Gaming of the Day
GO

College Girl Gets Attacked After Flashing Her Tits.
This Shit is Why My Slutty Step Daughters Are Never Going to Spring Break
GO

The Creepiest Playground Ever
GO

Katharine McPhee is Still Around?
GO

Jennifer Aniston Ruined The Name Rachel For Me, But This Bitch Rachel is Still All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Travis Barker is Finally Out of the Hospital…..
GO

Because I am a Giver
GO

Lesbian Fantasy of the Day
GO

Christie Brinkley’s Ex is in Some Shit
GO

Not Your Ordinary Baloon Sculptures
GO

More Lil’ O’Reilly
GO

Aria Giovanni and Ines Cudna = Boners
GO

Some Vintage Angelina Jolie
GO

CAT FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!
GO

Get Some Free Shit, Cause You’re Probably As Poor As I Am
GO

RIP Motherfucker the Taco Inventor Edition
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Faceless Girl and a Series of Big Tits and Low Cut Panty Pics…
GO

Vegas Girl All Bondaged Up
GO

A Lesson In Gynecology
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

17

Oct

Heidi Klum Almost Has an Upskirt While Miley Watches of the Day

Here’s a pretty bananas picture that could have ended a lot better of Heidi Klum almost having an upskirt at some fashion show where Miley Cyrus anxiously awaits her boyfriend to come out on stage so that she can really feel like her decision to give him her cherry was the right one because he’s so desirable that he’s on the fucking runway and she’s his personal groupie who not only fucks him on command and buys him the shit he wants, but also shoots his name onto the Marquee that is relevant celebrity boyfriends, making him a household name and a heart throb to teenage Miley fans everywhere in hopes of it opening new doors and new opportunities for him.

So this could have been a lot better if she was showing some pussy lip or panty and if Miley was fingerbanging her while Seal peed on them like he was R. Kelly at a Junior High….but maybe that’s too much to ask, I mean I remember the time I pissed on my wife thinking it would add some excitement to our lives and instead it just made her cry, because he was watching TV and I surpriseed her from behind, leaving me unaroused and feeling like I had failed, never exploring golden showers again, meaning it’s really only for a select few and finding those people isn’t always easy, it’s not just something people do on the first date, unless you’re paying them, so thinking these starlets would get in on something like that is totally far fetched….


To See The Rest of the Pictures Go To TheCobraSnake

Posted in:Heidi Klum|Miley Cyrus|Upskirt

2008

17

Oct

Christina Milian is a Myspace Star of the Day

Christina Milian was kinda hot in that video of her roling around in mud. I was sure she was a slut with staying power and not a one hit wonder she ended up becoming, but it turns out that she’s back, only this time with Myspace Music, because no record company wants to give a one hit wonder who has been off the map for the last 5 years a fucking chance, but Myspace, in their struggle to stay alive while sites like Facebook and social networking in general are dying, has decided to give her that second chance. I remember when my wife gave me a second chance when we were first dating and I accidentally stuck my dick in about 15 different girls while she was away visiting her mother and I was excited about my new found freedom, it ended up with me marrying her and ruining my fucking life, and I can only assume that will be Milian’s fate. I like to call this not giving up when you are ahead and thinking you have what it takes when you don’t, and it always ends up in misery.

Check out her new song from her new album coming out on Myspace Records Because She’s Pretty Much Irrelevant now but I’d still fuck her, which isn’t saying much, but it’s saying something…..
GO

Posted in:Christina Milian|MySpace|Star

2008

17

Oct

Nailin Paylin Preview Clip of the Day

Here’s a scene from Hustler’s political porn, that has turned out to be a fucking genius idea for them, considering everyone is talking about Palin and how they want to fuck her wholesome Alaskan pussy that makes retard babies and how everyone is obsessed with this fucking election, and shit’s going to be fucking huge, despite this pornstar’s impression being pretty shitty, and there being too much fucking dialog for my liking, because if I’m going to watch porn, I’m kinda trying to avoid listening to the shit being spewed out of a girls mouth unless of course the shit being spewed out of her mouth is cum.

In this clip she’s giving her speech while being eaten out by Hilary Clinton, something that is probably not that much of a stretch from the truth, considering Clinton’s so obsessed with running a man’s world and does it in the most lesbian of outfits, but it’s still something you can appreciate since it’s more interesting than the actual elections and I guess that’s why I am posting it and not because it is cinematic history…

Posted in:Hustler|Nailin Paylin|Preview

2008

17

Oct

Kristin Cavallari Ninja Pussy Grip of the Day

Kristin Cavallari is the hotter girl from Laguna Beach who wasn’t smart enough to continue onto the hills, where she would have probably been paid the highest, and instead chose to take her ego to do other things, without considering the simple fact that she’s got pretty much no talent, or at least had no significant talent before seeing these pictures of her in leggings doing some kind of new age kamasutra kick with her sex coach. So as her old friends and foes from her shitty staged reality show get more and more famous and make more and more money by selling their souls, she remains committed to taking a second shot, only this time, it will involve her fucking her way to the top, like it always was meant to be….only that she got side-tracked from doing…

Here’s The Rest of those Pictures Since I Can’t Post Them Because of the Paprazzi Wanting to Ruin My Life….
GO

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Ninja Kick|Spandex

2008

17

Oct

Christina Aguilera Brings Her Fake Tits to an Event of the Day

Christina Aguilera brought her tits out to some event with her handsome rich boyfriend, because besides from her singing voice, they really are the only thing keeping her around in these hard economic times. I am not a fan of big tits especially when they are wasted on rich weasel lookin’ motherfuckers, but there will always be a place in my col black heart for Christina Aguilera, because that girl will always be the Genie in a Bottle who I want to rub the right way to me. Sure, her life has taken a horrible downward spiral since those glory days, but most of the girls I ever got with were pretty much at their worst, so here’s to hoping this trend continues because if I get my way, which I never do, I’ll be hiding in her backyard watching her sun tan topless while she cries, before the police get called.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Fake Tits