I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

07

Oct

Kim Kardashian’s Bikini From When She Was 14 Of the Day

I don’t know the legalities of posting a 14 year old in a bikini on a website, but I do know that parents are doing it all the time on FLICKR, Facebook and all the other photo sites and they aren’t getting in trouble for it, despite the fact that those images are coincidentally the ones with the most views and they so happen to pop up on other websites with the intent to make people masturbate, and none of those folks are getting in trouble, so I figure it’s okay to post these pics Kim Kardashian posted of herself to prove she didn’t have plastic surgery.

I have no idea where these plastic surgery rumors came from, I never heard them, mainly because bitch has a far from perfect face and is in pretty serious need of plastic surgery, and I have a feeling that is what was actually said, and Kardashian’s ego didn’t let her process the truth, like calling a fat girl fat and having her turn around and think you just complimented her or some shit because she’s in fucking denial.

Either way, she had some pretty big tits for a 14 year old. I blame the hormones in the food.

Bonus – Kim Kadashian and Her New Friend Cheryl Burke From Dancing With the Stars, I Haven’t Figured Out Who is More Desperate, But I am Going With Both of Them….

Posted in:Bikini|Kim Kardashian

2008

07

Oct

Lauren Conrad Has a Dad of the Day

It turns out that Lauren Conrad isn’t infact a robot that was built in some MTV lab, which I thought was her story up until today. I mean it would explain the fact that she agreed to sell her soul to the devil and sign on to The Hills and it would explain why she is far from perfect, because last time I beat up a kid for his Popular Mechanics magazine, we just didn’t have the technology yet, but then again, the last time I read Popular Mechanics was in the ’20s, in another life, when they had just invented the blimp and were talking about motorized buggies instead of using horses. I don’t know where I am going with this, but I do know that my computer has fucking AIDS and is a real bitch to deal with, probably a lot like Lauren Conrad was growing up, and this is the man to ask.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

07

Oct

N.E.R.D Has Make a Wish Foundation Retard Dancers of the Day

There was an N.E.R.D show in Montreal last week and my stepdaughter went to see them, because she, like every girl, thinks sleeping with Pharrell will get her to meet Justin Timberlake, while my other stepdaughter would be satisfied with just meeting Pharrell, and by meeting, I mean servicing backstage because they are social climbing sluts and I encourage that, even if Pharrell is dark skinned and that is against God’s way, he comes across as a pretty white black dude and despite having more hip hip hits under his trendy belt, he’s still pretty suburban lookin.

Anyway, they got some footage of his concert where a couple dudes were brought on stage, I know, already a little backwards if you ask me, then he gets them to be his backup dancers for his entire show, instead of hiring or even recruiting one of the many sluts from the crowd who were already dripping in their panties for him and would have given them something to masturbate to for the next year, but instead he chose this make a wish foundation retard mess.

Posted in:Dancers|N.E.R.D.|stepTV

2008

06

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

So in the bar this weekend, while drunk, I got to talking to some girl I never saw before. She told me she was in town meeting some guy she met online and when she got to the bus stop where she was supposed to meet him, she saw some really fat greasy dude who looked like he hadn’t got laid, but had been masturbating all day over the last 10 years, so she booked a hotel and ended up the bar I was at. So I knew bitch was desperate, but not desperate enough to compromise her integrity. We got to talking about all kinds of things from her kids and her job and I realized within a minute why she turned to the internet to find love, because there is no human out there who could stomach her fairy tale wants and her annoying voice and pretty much everything about her made me want to die, not to be dramatic or anything. I decided to try to have fun with her and I busted out a napkin and told her to show me what her pussy looked like by folding the paper, sure it was a weird request but I didn’t have any other art supplies with me and instead of her just giving up on the stupid vagina model idea, and pull down her pants like a normal girl would, she made a fucking origami bird and that’s when I wished her a good trip home and to watch out for creeps from the internet, seeing as I was a professional one, I felt it was my place.

Here are my links….

Dance Dance Dance Fall
GO

Wino is BReaking Down One Body Part at a Time
GO

Some Playboy Playmate from 2007 Gives You Losers Some First Date Tips
GO

Madeline Zima Has Hard Nipples
GO

Some Anna Kornikova is Always Nice
GO

Do Something Worthwhile Today That Doesn’t Involve Getting Out of Bed…But Does Involve Seeing Pussy and Telling it What to Do
GO

Tori Wilson is a WWE Slut
GO

Robots Can’t Act
GO

The Best Porn You’ll Watch All Day
GO

Let’s Get Sloppy
GO

Paul McCartney Is Making a Revenge Album
GO

OJ Simpson is Guilty. Wow, I Am so Shocked
GO

Finding Girls to Fuck Isn’t As Hard As You Think
GO

Girls Aloud Nip Slip
GO

Dina Lohan is Just Amazing
GO

Jessica Alba is Flashing Her Pubes
GO

Fuck I Thought I Ate Fast
GO

Finally, someone Who Understands How Much I Hate Exercising
GO

Tram Goes Way Out of Control
GO

I Forgive Salma Hayek For Ruining Her Vagina With a Baby, Because It Has Done Wonders For Her Chest
GO

Let’s Go to the Model Ball
GO

Why Hello Lindsay Marie
GO

Gina Caragano Can Fight Me Anytime
GO

Another Brick in the Wall
GO

Amateurs All the Way
GO

Paris Hilton Needs to Be Stopped From Reproducing
GO

Angelina Is Loking Good After Just Having Had Twins
GO

If Facebook Was Real Life
GO

Even When She’s Just Being a Mother, Kate Beckinsale is Tasty
GO

Jodie Marsh is Just Giving It Away
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Topless Fashion Show? I’m Into That
GO

Lipstick on a Pig. On Drugs
GO

Use this Spray to Get Laid
GO

Tina Fey Does Palin Once Again for the Presidential Debates. Amazing
GO

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING POSTED ON CRAIGSLIST EVER
GO

Adriana Lima Poses in a Magazine I Don’t Care to Know the Name Of
GO

Marta Enjoys the Coast While We Enjoy Marta
GO

Nicolette Sheridan is Lookin’ Good
GO

Lindsay and Paris Are Having a Cat Fight
GO

Let’s Look At Some Art, Since I know For The Most Part We Are Too Cultureless to Do So
GO

A Day in the Life of Mario
GO

I Think I Should Celebrity Box Michael Lohan
GO

Some Jenna Jameson and Brea Bennet
GO

Dance Like a Stripper
GO

Paris Hilton in Vegas for Her Sister’s Birthday
GO

Some Funny Lapdance Going Wrong Video
GO

Some Girl Gets Busted Masturbating
GO

Every Little Girl’s Dream is to Be a Pornstar….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Old Skinny Bitch Acting Sexy With a Big Discolored Dildo
GO

From Vagina Shots to Cum Play This Album is Porn on a Mainstream Site
GO

Some Naked Chicks a Guy Claims are His Ex Girlfriends
GO

Ass Lover’s Album
GO

Some Girl Flashing Her Tits
GO

Use this Spray to Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

06

Oct

Selena Gomez Rides a Long Board of the Day

I am not a True School Skate or Die motherfucker, I mean the closest thing I’ve ever done to skateboarding is drink in the park next to punk kids who were skateboarding back in the 90s when skateboarding was cool. It was something these drunken, drug using motherfuckers would do that always impressed me and when I’d get to talking to them, they were always down to get fucked up and do insane stunts because something in their head wasn’t wired right. They were one step away from being homeless since they didn’t have jobs, slept all day, partied all night and skated in between. I just respected the lifestyle. Then Tony Hawk Pro Skater hit, the Warped Tour hit, skateboards were sold in Wal Mart and skate shoes and clothing brands were starting to be worn by Cha Chi motherfuckers and are still to this day. I mean any given night I go out I see some asshole with a bottle of Grey Goose in his Ed Hardy rockin’ a pair of Vans and to me, it represents the fall of the rebels and the rise of the mainstream. Sure lots of these dudes I used to get drunk with, got rich and drive BMWs and shit now, but when I see pictures of some chick from the Disney Channel riding a longboard, which is the equivalent of the skiers in the snowboard park to snowboarders or old hairy men on Boogie Boards to surfers, I realize that skateboarding is officially dead and this Selena Gomez chick just pissed on its grave.

Posted in:Longboard|Selena Gomez

2008

06

Oct

Hayden Panettiere is Doing Us All a Favor and Hiding of the Day

I’d just like the thank Hayden Panettiere for doing us all a favor and covering that midget head of hers while leaving some event, probably wasted, because little people can’t stomach booze the same way you can, and Hollywood people don’t like the negative press they get for being drunken whores who hang out with crotch grabbing Lil Wayne motherfuckers.

I remember hanging out at my friend’s cottage with his 10 year old son because everyone had gone to bed and decided that I wasn’t going to drink alone, that shit is for alcoholics and convinced the little bastard to do some whiskey shots with me. It was funny for the first half hour, with him dancing around like an idiot and saying all kinds of crazy shit, before the fucker got alochol poisoning and ended up puking all over the place, waking up his parents and leading to me being kicked out of the house in the middle of fucking no where and losing a relatively good friend, but I assume no responsibility for it, because I am not the one who left me, a bottle of booze and a punk kid bored in the woods with nothing but drinking to do together.

That experience made me decide that I am good with kids and that I don’t actually hate them and I tried signing up to Big Brother’s of America but got refused when I told them the reason for joining was because my friends are old and tired and I am lookin’ to recruit an new little drinking buddy. Fucking Facists.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Hiding

2008

06

Oct

Rose McGowan Talking to th Paparazzi of the Day

Rose McGowan got caught outside someplace waiting for the valet to bring her a car and she was forced to have a conversation with the scum that is the paparazzi. They asked her great questions like how she felt about the election, Palin and OJ getting arrested but the highlight of the clip is the weird little gay guy who tells her how he likes her style, because you know that dude is running after a failed dream and moved to L.A. in hopes of landing a luxurious career as a fashion photographer or something a little more rewarding than sifting through the trash, and that’s his broken down self-esteem tapping into a passion he once had. Sure, he probably goes home at night hoping one of his pictures ends up in a glossy magazine, and when it does he feels a sense of accomplishment, but not the sense of accomplishment he wanted for himself. You know, shooting high profile campaigns and shit like that, but forced to take the bottom feeding route to pay off his student loans for his photography degree. Either way, she was pretty fucking nice to them, if I was in her place I’d be throwing my feces at them, and I guess that’s why I am posting this video, because not everyone in Hollywood is a vapid, materialistic cunt.

Here are some pictures taken while this video was shot and she is wearing fishnets she stole from the Marilyn Manson break-up. True Story.

Posted in:Paparazzi|Rose McGowan

2008

06

Oct

YouTube Lapdance Video of the Day

Someone sent me this video of some Halloween or Lingerie party that went down over a year ago, where a couple sluts decided to have some kind of lap dance competition for a room full of virgins. I found the video hot, because the only parties I get invited usually don’t have this kind of excitement going on, and the Van Wilder gets all jacked up, like seeing two girls in a club touch tongues, prior to ever hearing that Katy Perry song that ruined that for me and it is a reminder of all that I have missed out on over the years and that reminder is part of what keeps me miserable and that misery is part of what keeps me writing this site, so in a lot of ways, this shit is inspiring to me and that’s why I felt the need to share it with you.

Via DisgracefulAndSexy

Posted in:lapdance|Youtube

2008

06

Oct

Beyonce’s Fat Bikini Pictures of the Day

Beyonce was out in a bikini last week and I know I am slow on posting these pictures, but the last thing I think of when I see Beyonce in a bikini, is that I need to get these fuckers on the site as quickly as fucking possible, because my initial response is to pretend like I’ve never seen them, hoping they go away, until an email comes in suggesting I throw them on the site and I do because that reminder, reminds me, that some where out there, some motherfucker finds her hot. So while Beyonce’s husband/boyfriend/fiance Jay Z is out about town with his gang of sluts like Rihanna, Beyonce is on vacation with men in Tuxedos and the good news is that even she knows her fried chicken eating lined her arteries, ass and thighs, but never ventured to her tits, leading her to cover that shit up with a surong and for that, we thank her, because otherwise, these pictures would be a hell of a lot more devastating than they are.

Posted in:Beyonce|Bikini|Fat

2008

06

Oct

Kendra Wilkinson Judges Bikini Contests in the Bahamas of the Day

It is the off season, which means that the unemployed and Joe Six Pack can take a vacation to a resort designed for the stars that is more like Disneyland than a peaceful getaway, not that I’ve ever been to either, because that is only because I have given up on the consumer ideal of vacation, but turning my life into a permanent vacation, by not having a job and the only thing I really ever want to get away from is my wife and I can do that through hard drinking, but that’s not the point, the point is that Kendra Wilkinson, Hugh Hefner’s recently exiled girlfriend has been doing the resort circuit, last week in the Domincan, this week in the Bahamas and she gets to do such exciting and useful things like judge bikini contests. Sure it’s not saving the fucking whales, or helping fundraise for AIDS or Breast Cancer, but it’s a pretty huge accomplishment for someone who’s only ability is being able to take off her clothes for Playboy.

Posted in:Bahamas|Kendra Wilkinson