Hayden Panettiere is trying to hide from the paparazzi because she is leaving a club and she isn’t 21. Boring. Who gives a fuck, I’ve been drinking consistently since I was 14, I was in bars at 16, at 20, I was drunk everyday, fucking random whores and it was a good fucking time, it’s not like this bitch is 12 and wrecking shit up.

That said, celebrity pussy just doesn’t have the same fucking appeal it used to have a few years ago when the starlets were a group of troubled souls everyone idolized on a rampage, doing drugs, taking full advantage of their position, and since those girls have slowly disappeared and people have lost interest, no one has taken their place, so instead of posting about Lohan all night sex parties, I’m stuck talking about a bitch leaving a clube a few months before her 21st birthday. Fuck yourself.

The only thing funny about this is how small Hayden looks in the arm of an asian and I know how small asians are making me realize just how big my little dick would look in her midget hand. It’d me like fucking a 7 year old and I know all you weirdos love that shit….

Pics Via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Hiding

I’d just like the thank Hayden Panettiere for doing us all a favor and covering that midget head of hers while leaving some event, probably wasted, because little people can’t stomach booze the same way you can, and Hollywood people don’t like the negative press they get for being drunken whores who hang out with crotch grabbing Lil Wayne motherfuckers.

I remember hanging out at my friend’s cottage with his 10 year old son because everyone had gone to bed and decided that I wasn’t going to drink alone, that shit is for alcoholics and convinced the little bastard to do some whiskey shots with me. It was funny for the first half hour, with him dancing around like an idiot and saying all kinds of crazy shit, before the fucker got alochol poisoning and ended up puking all over the place, waking up his parents and leading to me being kicked out of the house in the middle of fucking no where and losing a relatively good friend, but I assume no responsibility for it, because I am not the one who left me, a bottle of booze and a punk kid bored in the woods with nothing but drinking to do together.

That experience made me decide that I am good with kids and that I don’t actually hate them and I tried signing up to Big Brother’s of America but got refused when I told them the reason for joining was because my friends are old and tired and I am lookin’ to recruit an new little drinking buddy. Fucking Facists.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Hiding

Hayden Panettiere is built like a large piece of machinery that you shouldn’t operate while on allergy medication, which is probably pretty shitty for her boyfriend she’s on set with who is probably always on allergy medication because he is clearly Jewish and like most jews suffers from asthma, allergies and is lactose intolerant, making thier sex pretty entertaining to watch with all that wheezing, mucus and diarhea.

Here she is covering up her box of a body and by default her box because she realizes that no one wants to see that shit, except for maybe an awkward Jewish guy with Asthma, allergies and who is lactose intollerant because he appreciates her pussy since it’s the only pussy he’s got because all the girls in highschool were more into the jocks than the school newspaper editor.

The sad news for you is that Hayden and her fridge of a body is hotter than anything you’ve stuck your dick in.

Posted in:Hayden Panettiere|Hiding