Face Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

17

Feb

Lindsay Lohan’s Weird Fuckin Face of the Day

Lohan is a fucking wreck. I don’t where she is or what she is doing, but I do know that her hot tits are being suffocated in this dress and would like to come out for air to distract us from her big swollen stupid lookin’ lips that make her face look it was either in a serious accident or some kind of burn victim. Part of me will always like this bitch, but unfortunately that part of me is not my dick, as all we have is just memories of the night we had together and the pair of panties I stole from her and wore for a month….wait that wasn’t Lohan, that was some redheaded tranny in designer clothes….which I guess is pretty much the same fuckin’ thing…except at least a tranny fucks you…while Lohan’s all “lesbian”.

Here are some scars from cutting like she was an awkward lonely confused teenager on her arms…

And some Bruises like she was a hooker who got thrown the fuck around on her legs….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Face|Lindsay Lohan

2010

12

Feb

Lady Gaga’s Cummed Up Face at Some Event of the Day

9 Comments »

As an HIV Positive man, Lady Gaga takes AIDS charities pretty fucking seriously. So seriously that she decided to do an “Artist” rendition of what I guess is either AIDS Lesions, or taking it on your face instead of taking it in your asshole, as it may still give you AIDS but it is a hell of a lot more fun and maybe even less risky…or maybe she’s just trying to get every motherfucker turned off enough to never have sex again by walking around in fucking panties and the only question this really brings up to me is: Why don’t these parties and events have dress-codes for the celebrities who attend, cuz I know if I showed up half naked covered in cum, they’d probably escort me out, even if I had fucking tickets….I guess life is unfair….

Some Other Bitches at the Amfar event dressed slutty, cuz I guess AIDS makes bitches wet, ready and willing to give all the HIV positive men something to jerk off to cuz they aren’t gonna give it up, or maybe they are AIDS fetishist, you know the kind of weirdo who fantasizes about sleeping with an HIV positive man, and really who cares….

Doutzen Kroes Titty

The Bitch from Alien and Avatar with the stupid name in a See Thru

Eliza Dushku Inter-Racial Couple Representing by Reenacting the Africa HIV Pandemic…

Some other bitch showing off bra….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Face|Lady Gaga

2009

09

Dec

Lady Gaga’s Throw Up Face of the Day

7 Comments »

I have a love / hate relationship with girls who have weak chins. On one hand I think it looks fucking ugly enough to laugh at and make fun of so that the girl gets enough of a complex as this girl I used to talk to back in the day who ended up getting a chin implant partially because she knew it looked bad and partially because I would tell her how hot she’d be if she had a chin and didn’t just have a face that turned into neck. On the other hand I love the shit because watching girls walk around like they are about to puke, with their mouths permanently open and in the gag position is fucking hysterical.

In Lady Gaga’s case, it’s just a hate relationship because I have no interest in ugly girls who make it big and overcompensate for being ugly by being loud and annoying. I like my ugly girls shut the fuck up and hiding in the corner scared to make eye contact…..

So in future, she shouldn’t forget her ridiculous mask she’s been hiding behind and you shouldn’t buy her records because despite being a beast too big to stop…we can all do our part. Think of her as global warming-a cause we all need to fight.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Face|Lady Gaga|Throw Up

2009

20

Nov

Kim Kardashian’s Face Looks Fuckign Weird of the Day

5 Comments »

If you’re anything like me, you like sitting on benches outside of various stores in the mall until the staff kindly ask you to leave, or sometimes call security on you because you are creeping out the customers as you try to get them to invite you into the changing room, or chime in with suggestions of what panties you think they would look good in. Sometimes we hit up the bikini store, other times the underwear stores and every once in a while the shoe store. Sure, I’m not a foot fetishist or anything like that, but I do know that skirts and shoe testing means a lot of upskirt pussy flashes, so seeing Kardashian doing what I’ve seen so many girls do before reminds me that even the ugly ones are still worth lookin’ at because they’re better than lookin’ at nothing…. and here are the pics.

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Face|Kim Kardashian|Weird

2009

21

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hiding Her Face of the Day

1 Comment »

If you’re wondering why sexy Lindsay Lohan is covering her face, it’s because she got a face tattoo like Mike Tyson did after he got out of prison, as a symbol to never forget, because in a lot of ways, she just escaped a prison of her own and that is a lesbian relationships, because they are hell, you know since girls are needy/emotional/crazy/get their periods/want to cuddle/love male attention that isn’t yours/always creating drama and issues because they are psychos who need dudes to control them to keep them in check like nature had originally planned for them, before they got all independent and weird and I blame the media for that.

Posted in:Face|Hiding|Lindsay Lohan

2009

02

Apr

Pam Anderson Stuffing Her Face of the Day

2 Comments »

Here’s Pam Anderson shoving food in her mouth, she’s really good at shoving things in her mouth, you know with all that practice she’s had with random penis….cuz she’s a slut.. It’s only an obvious joke cuz it’s true haters.

Posted in:Eating|Face|Pam Anderson

2008

04

Mar

Lily Allen’s Makin’ Miscarriage Faces of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess having a miscarriage feels pretty weird, especially when you really wanted to have the baby to keep your electronic music producing boyfriend attached to you for life, so much so that she drank and smoked the fetus out of her…..that’s why she’s makin’ such crazy faces.

At least the pregnancy wasn’t a total waste and she got herself some pregnancy weight out of it and I know that’s every girl’s dream….Maybe she won’t be painting the nursery this weekend or signing up for pre-natal aquarobics but at least she has fatter thighs than ever…I hear guys love that about girls with a broken uterus.