I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Jessel Pena is the Instagram Of The Day
Jessel Pena is the Instagram Of The Day
Heather Graham’s Old Flat Ass in a Bikini of the Day
Heather Graham’s Old Flat Ass in a Bikini of the Day
Em Rata Gets Called Out for Being a Titty Whore of the Day
Em Rata Gets Called Out for Being a Titty Whore of the Day
Brie Larson in the Great Outdoors of the Day
Brie Larson in the Great Outdoors of the Day
Sloppy Katy Perry is Rehearsing her Awkward Dances of the Day
Sloppy Katy Perry is Rehearsing her Awkward Dances of the Day

2008

27

Sep

Fuck You Page Six of the Day

3 Comments »

Page Six didn’t credit me for the pictures of Mini-Me’s girlfriend fucking around with Wee Man from Jackass. I know for a fact that I am the only person who wasted their fucking day stealing her facebook pictures, because I was friends with her before this Mini Me story broke on Perez Hilton. I had even seen the shit months ago and didn’t bother with it, because I just assumed she was just some groupie slut trying to fuck her way to the top, using any in she could get, that in being Mini Me, and I was right. My only mistake was thinking no one would care because it’s fucking Mini Me.

Either way, after an hour and a half of saving that shit to put on the fucking internet, these fuckers at the New York Post could have at least said where they saw the pictures of her kissing Wee Man.

Motherfuckers ruined my fucking day. Fuckers.

Posted in:Page Six

2008

27

Sep

RIP Motherfucker the Paul Newman’s Own Edition of the Day

5 Comments »

Along with Salad Dressing, Pasta Sauce, Microwave Popcorn and Chocolate Chip Cookes, Paul Newman can add Obituary to his list of things that are his….

It is the end of an era. Paul Newman died yesterday at 83 from a battle with lung cancer. I just wanted to say his over-priced dressings will not be the same without him around to see the sales reports. This man was Cool Hand Luke and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, a seriously great contribution to American movies, and someone who tried to use his name to make a difference in the lives of sick kids and it’s sad to see him go.

I mean you can’t be all that sad consdering dude is 83, and that’s a pretty long life, one longer than any of us will probably live, but you should take a minute to recognize all that he’s done in his lifetime, and to realize that it is a whole lot more than you ever did.

So tonight when getting drunk and smoking cigarettes, the same cigarettes that killed Paul Newman, spill a little drink on the sidewalk for your fallen homie..I’m talking about you Newman.

It’d be nice if I woke up today to write my RIP Motherfucker to the cast of The Hills, but instead I have to do this. Maybe Paul Newman’s final legacy will be teaching the cast of The Hills how to land a terminal illness, I guess only time will tell.

In the next few years, a lot of these Hollywood Old Timers are going to start droppin’ like flies, I’m talking about Regis, Barbara Walters and a whole lot more, so get ready for a lot more of these…which is exciting, because they are so fun to write while hung the fuck over feeling like death myself. Yay!

To Read More on It
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Posted in:Dead|Paul Newman

2008

26

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

So I got this email…..

Hi there:

I am a dialysis patient at KPRHC.  I take my macbook to the unit each time and read (most often aloud) your article to all my dbuds and it is always a source of amusement, fun and giggles.  Today, however, was especially good, and we’re writing to thank you so much.  I don’t know who you are, but am wondering if you are published because I’d love to read more.  Thanks for always giving us some fun and please keep ’em comin’.

Love, Pam. xoxo

I guess not everyone hates me. I am happy to be the Patch Adams of our generation, it is more fulfilling then being some rich, gay, joke of an internet personality…seriously.

Here are my links, unedited because it is Friday and we’re drinking here, and by we, I mean me. I have no friends, but at least I have links.

Girls Who Get Naked on Command to Bring in the Weekened…The Lonely…Sad…Weekend….
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Iggy Pop’s Retard Cripple Shoes and Hot Pussy Out On a Walk…
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I Mean Who Doesn’t Like It When a Model Takes a Tumble?
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Lucy Pinder Should Do Herself a Favor and Start Her Own Magazine She Can Put Herself on The Cover Of Every Month Like Oprah
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Lohan Completes Her Lesbian Transformation By Wearing Flannel Everyday
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Fucking Flying Rats
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Carmen is Curvy
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Maybe This Amy Winehouse Junkie Shit Is All a Joke So She Make the Comeback of all Comebacks
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Kerry Katona Has 36DD Boobs
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Stock Up For the Weekend
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Why The Fuck Was Paris Hilton On Letterman Again. Seriously.
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Sasha Baron Cohen, You Are The Fucking Man
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Some Mandatory Clay Aiken Gay Jokes
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Truck Crashes Into Building
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Only an Idiot Willingly Has Himself Sprayed with Pepper Spray
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Kimbo Slice Will Break Your Face
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Most Amazing Football Catch Ever
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Christina Aguilera Debuts Her Newest Clown Look
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Tuba Trouble
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Because the Girls In Your Comics Won’t Magically Come to Life and Fuck You
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Binoculor Soccer
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In the VIP Thongs
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Swedish Sex Bomb
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Amateur Teen Masterbation
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And More Lucy Pinder
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Lohan Put a Restraining Order On Her Crazy Fucking Father
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Wow Drew Barrymore, You Just Got Your Tongue Pierced!! You’re Sucks a Rebel!!
Seriously, What Are You, Fucking Fourteen?
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I Hate You Katy Perry
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Now That’s What I call a Gold Digger!
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How Can Playing Near Traintracks Ever Work Out Well?
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Because We All Need a Helping Hand Now and Again
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Striptease of the Day
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Monkey Tried to Steal a Car
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Monster Dildo
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Uhhh, I Think It’s Time to Buy a Razor…or a Fucking Weed Whacker
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Gemma Atkinson Bikini Calendar
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The Real Perfect Girlfriend
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Swat Team Versus Fat Kid
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Hayden Party Airs Dad is Officially a Wife Beater
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Tricia Helfer is Half Naked in Some Magazine
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Fox Tail Butt Plug
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Disney is Making a Sarah Palin Movie
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Tera Patrick is All Wet
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Cassie Keller is in Playboy
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John McCain is a Fashion Designer
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Mini Me’s Sex Tape Star is Doing the Radio Circuit and Flirting With Radio Midgets, Listen to the Interview….
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

26

Sep

Kaylee Defer and Her Personal Pictures of the Day

11 Comments »

I have no idea who Kaylee Defer is today, and before getting these sent to my email, I would have assumed that the only pictures of this girl are personal pictures, because she’s a fucking nobody, but I was wrong, she is on some Fox show called “The War at Home”, that I have never heard of, but figured I’d post them anyway, because she seems like a down to earth, hairy pussied girl you can go camping and fishing with and in this Paris Hilton inspired world, finding any chick willing to just kick it in the woods, is pretty impossible. They want ballers, bottle buyers, people to take them to exclusive clubs and 5 star resorts, they don’t want to not shower for a week in the middle of no where getting down with nature by getting eating alive by mosquitos, while sleeping on a shitty air mattress in a shitty tent, only to wake up to all your food for the week being eaten by racoons, or a bear, leaving you a 6 hour hike away from the nearest supplies and forced to fend for yourself, before accidentally eating a poisonous berry and turning into some insane psychopath who taps into your survival instincts and accidentally rapes and kills all the other campers you run across on your journey out of the forest.

Personally, I’m more down for hotels, motels and Holiday Inns, say what? And if I can’t afford a trip, because my shitty claim to fame is a shitty Fox show no one has heard about, I just stay at home and pretend I am on vacation by drinking faggy cocktails.

Either way, here are her pictures.

Posted in:Kaylee Defer|Personal Pics

2008

26

Sep

Some US Politics Post of the Day

16 Comments »

Here’s Palin – Proving that she is a fucking idiot who has no idea what she is talking about and no business running the country….I didn’t watch it because I was too busy lookin for bank owned properties….

If you are reading this post, it means you haven’t sold your computer to pay your mortgage, but I figure you will have to soon. I think it’s funny that McCain’s going to win, just because Obama is black, and this video of Sarah Palin is Hysterical because she has no idea what the fuck is going on.

Here’s an email a reader sent me….

As you can see with the info I’ve provided, Sarah Palin does not endorse free speech or disclosure of what she is saying:

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The cunt has done everything possible to stay out of the public eye and when she is forced to be in front of the voting public she won’t allow reporters – only photographers; you aren’t going to catch her saying anything she wasn’t supposed to.  It’s been almost a month and still no press conferences.

Sort of like how she ducked out of telling Bristol Palin about how babies are made. Now her teenage daughters pussy is defiled and a mutated human/First Nation-esque child is growing inside her womb and it will come back to haunt every tax paying US citizen. Sarah Palin should learn that “being a maverick” basically means that some guy is going to cum inside you and leave you with 18+ years of shitty problems. She never learned the art of showing respect to elders/voters; she is quite happy to lie to any and everyone to get more; even if it means giving birth to some white trash daddy kid(s).

Sarah Palin is being used by McCain to try and capture female voters – but it isn’t working… All women aren’t stupid and they know that Palin is nothing more than a semen bucket for old men like John McCain. Hopefully John McCain uses her clown car/pussy to the fullest and then they both go away knowing that they are worthless and their only contribution is to further embarrass US citizens on the world stage. The only good that can come from Palin/McCain is that he’ll get to fuck some new pussy. Hopefully it won’t piss his rich wife/money source off too bad cause his gimpy hand won’t allow him to do anything constructive.

Also…….

Here’s some more good info: McCain’s people have been getting $15,000 a month from Freddie Mac and McCain’s campaign manager (Rick Davis,) has made more than $2 million off the deal:
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Enjoy the debate tonight, not because it is going to be exciting to see you choose the worst possible candidate, but because it could be one of the last TV shows you watch before the bank comes to collect your TV cuz you can’t pay your bills. I am pretty excited to move in on your cities with 500 dollars in hand that will make me the richest person in town and all the hungry sluts will crawl to me and suck my dick in exchange for a cracker.

Here’s David Letterman ripping into McCain for ditching out on his show…..

I am only a few days late on this shit…..but that’s because I don’t really care

Posted in:Politics|US

2008

26

Sep

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch of the Day

5 Comments »

So….she’s still ugly…but that vitiligo shit stain discoloration on her arm is fucking hot, but I just like girls with disorders because they are easier to boss around. Despite popular belief that I hate ugly girls, I actually always defend them by saying they all have at least one nice attribute, whether it is hot tits, or a hot ass, or that they are skinny, or have nice eyes, or a nice pussy, you just have to look a little past the package as a whole. Just the other day I saw an ugly girl on the bus reading a magazine minding her own business and I decided to let her know that despite being ugly, she had great teeth and great teeth can take you a long way. I was pretty offended when she told me to fuck myself, but I guess some ugly girls have an ugly personality to match, or maybe I offended her by letting her know I knew she was ugly, but I figured by leaving the house that day, she already accepted that. So despite Ashley Tisdale’s hot skin disorder, she’s still ugly and that concludes the Ashley Tisday Ugly Watch of the Day.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2008

26

Sep

Traci Bingham’s Showing Some Nipple of the Day

4 Comments »

Traci Bingham showed up to an event in her neighbor’s daughter’s figure skating costume and it was a huge hit and by huge hit, I mean no one noticed her amongst the real celebrities who were there, and kinda just let her in because she is black and they didn’t want to get accused of being racists for asking for ID. It’s like they figured she made it that far, she must be someone, maybe she’s Whitney Houston or Beyonce…just let her in. So to secure her presence, she figured that she might as well pull out her tit because that’s really all people acknowledge her for anyway….and here are the pictures….

On a side note, I was talking to a black friend of mine the other day and he told me that black people love Grilled Cheese sandwiches. I didn’t know that but now you do.

Posted in:Nipple|Traci Bingham

2008

26

Sep

Some Blake Lively Boring Bathing Suit Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

So here’s overhyped Gossip Girl Blake Lively in some bathing suit and she sucks. I don’t know why people find this boring girl is worth jerking off to or talking about but I do know and respect the fact that people have different tastes and that some of you would have sex with the elderly lady you helped cross the street if she offfered or the fat chick who lives down the street because you are convinced she’s a virgin and will let you fuck her without condoms, or the girl in the wheel chair who is curious to find out if she can feel sex, since she can’t feel her legs or a lifeless girl you see in the ditch on the drive home, if there was no risk of getting caught, so maybe for you guys, Blake Lively is a step up…stomp the yard…you get what I am saying even if you don’t get her choice in bikinis.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Blake Lively

2008

26

Sep

Paris Hilton’s Grabbing Some Vagina of the Day

3 Comments »

This lesbian movement is getting out of han. Pairs is copying Lohan’s flow by getting with Ronson’s twin sister, oh, right, that’s not a Ronson that’s one of the Good Charlotte Twins, but since they are both androngynist identity crisis try hards, I figure they are pretty much the same fucking thing and they both do a good job ruining the idea that twins fuck each other because it is like masturbating fantasy that has carried me through the hard times because I am weird.

Here she is trying to find his penis because it isn’t decided whether he has one or not and I am not really ready to find out because seeing penis isn’t really my thing, especially post Paris Hilton vagina penis because I hate being reminded what herpes looks like, not because Paris Hilton herpes jokes are old and tired like her vagina, but because it is the truth and sometimes I’m just not down for the truth.

Posted in:Genital Grab|Good Charlotte|Paris Hilton

2008

26

Sep

Cisco Adler Pours Drink on Tits of the Day

4 Comments »

I was sent this link to pictures of some event called Kandy Kruise 2008 and the lead picutre was Cisco Adler of Mischa Barton’s Vagina fame, pouring a drink on some slut in a bikini and I thought it was worth posting. Cisco Adler is in some band called Shwayze and these dudes are slowly breaking into the mainstream, have some reality TV show and think they are already fucking famous.

I used to talk to the DJ in the group a year ago before he was the DJ in the group. He was running some site and would ask for links and shit and I’d usually hook him up, not knowing who he was or that he was going to be touring Warped Tour and rocking an MTV show. Even 6 months ago, dude was trying to break out and asked me to put him in touch with promoters locally and I did what I could to see if some of the people I know would bring him in. Then the Shwayze gig hit, because his friend who thinks he’s Kanye West and who manipulated his way into all this by linking up with D-Lister Adler brought him in as their DJ and motherfucker ignores me now. He didn’t answer me when I emailed for Warped Tour Tickets for my girl, he didn’t answer me when I reached out or something else, because dude clearly thinks he’s too big a deal to bother with me now.

Fuck them. I hope their career ends tomorrow because they have shit attitudes and are doing this for pussy and fame and not because they actually care about making music.

Here are a few pics of the sluts in their audience because if you bring sluts to your party, I don’t really give a fuck who you are, or whether you’re a lame LA kid trying to make it big, I just care about the titties.


To see the Rest of the Pictures of Sluts in Bikinis at Some Party
GO

Posted in:Cisco Adler|Sleazy