I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

08

Jul

Jessica Simpson and Her Cougar Cleavage of the Day

It was Jessica Simpson’s birthday get together, at least that’s what people are saying, because her birthday is in 2 days. If you are wondering why I know that, which I am sure you are, because I don’t even know my own birthday, it’s because I looked it up because she looked like she was getting on in years. It turns out that she’s turning 28, so that means she’s only a few years away from being a dried up cougar at the end of the hotel bar, licking her lips for some college kids in her cleavage shirt, trying to cover up her muff gut, in hopes of getting dick and encouraging the kids to cum in her, or on her face so she can artificially inseminate herself, only to find out she’s waited too long and is barren.

It’s a sad lonely life for such a hot set of tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simpson|Tits

2008

08

Jul

Ashlee Simpson’s Got Hard Pregnant Nipples of the Day

I heard when girls get pregnant, their nipples turn dark brown, so it’s safe to say that Ashlee Simpson has herself some African nipples and shit are hard while she’s out shopping with her fat baby filled uterus while Jessica sits at home crying and eating a container of ice cream because no one she wants is willing to knock her up, which is unfortunate because I know I would. Shit’s a pretty solid retirement plan, one better that knocking Ashlee Simpson.

The only mystery in all this is who knocked up this Simpson and why is Pete Wentz taking the blame, because everyone knows he’s scared of vagina, mainly his own.

Here’s some bonus pictures of Ashlee Simpson yesterday dressed like a french painter or someone married to a commerical Emo sexually confused asshole or a sailer at the ragatta lookin’ fat and fat tittied because she’s pregnant and not because she’s wearing horizontal stripes. See, I know fashion.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Hard Nipples|Pregnant Nipples

2008

08

Jul

Perez Hilton’s New Body Offends Me of the Day

Here’s a pretty repulsive video to start your day of Perez Hilton showing what working out with a celebrity trainer can do for you, because now that he makes 50,000,000 dollars a year, more than most celebrities do, he can afford to get help. At first, I was thinking dude had Aids, but remembered that he’s too ugly to get laid and instead has turned to the computer to fill the void that is his unattractiveness.

Truth is that I think dude probably should have waited another 6 months of working out before showing off his progress, because right now all I see is one too many boxes of donuts while motherfucker sits at home writing teenage girl stupidities about Hollywood. Sure,t I may still be fatter than Perez, but I’m not about to get topless on camera to not only offend the Gay community, but also the world.

I will say that there’s no way this fucker is really gay, sure he’s got pretty homo hair and dresses pretty homo and speaks with a lisp, but no gay dude would ever look like this and the gay dudes I know on cocaine and laxative diets, not just because it cleans the passage for better smelling bum fucking, but because gay dudes are vain as shit. There’s reason why every time I go to gay clubs in hopes of getting free drinks I end up getting nothing and that is because fat is worse than Aids in the gay community and I’ve even heard of some dude intentionally getting aids so that they can lose weight easier than diet and exercise with the added benefit of bareback sex with other fags without concern of landing Aids because they already have it….

Either way, dude’s trying to get words of encouragement from his fat readers who find his quest to get in shape inspiring, because people in his real life don’t answer his calls….Even his parents.

Posted in:New Body

2008

08

Jul

Kim Kardashian’s Ironic T-Shirt of the Day

So Kim Kardashian has created her career by pretty much whoring herself out to Paris Hilton to be seen and known and then by whoring herself out to Ray J and the porn company that bought her sex tape for 5,000,000 dollars, leading to more opportunities to whore herself out to the paparazzi with tips of where she was going to be so that they could get pictures of her that could be distributed to the world and to people like me to write about her, making her more relevant or at least relevant enough to land a TV show, where she whores out on camera because people see to give a shit about what her uselessness does in a given day.

Now she wears T-shirts claiming that she’s not another photo op, or that the other day when she went shopping, she wasn’t another photo op, and that’s pretty funny to me, because I know that she probably has the paparazzi on speed dial and probably staged today’s pictures in hopes of getting in a magazine or on a blog, but wore a shirt pretending that they are invading her privacy.

Celebrities and almost-celebrities, love these fuckers. They love the cameras and cry like little girls about them for show, all while using them as the most important marketing tool in their whole career plan and the whole thing is offensive to me, but not nearly as offensive as Kim Kardashian’s fat ass that is clearly nothing special to look at and very reminiscent of the fat chick who works at McDonald’s down the street from me, who has had a few too many Big Macs, but not enough to beat my wife in an old county fair weigh-off, but at least my wife knows she isn’t sexy and has no business wearing tight jeans, mainly because the biggest sized jeans we can find don’t fit over her disgustingness, but that’s got nothing to do with Kim Kardashian and her eating disorder.

Some Fat Tits From the Other Day

More Fat Tits from the Other Day …..

Posted in:Fat Tits|Kim Kardashian

2008

08

Jul

Natalia Bush is Not Related to George Bush But Wears a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Natalia Bush and in honor of her name, she’s wearing her Bikini for the 4th of July and she doesn’t have any bush. They claim that she’s not related to George Bush, but I feel like admitting that you were related to him would pretty much put a target on her head like some kind of warning to stay the fuck away from her. Shit’s pretty much worse than knowing the girl you are bringing home with you has herpes, because when horny enough, herpes seems like it’s not a big enough deal to refuse sex, but the thought of George Bush or anything related to him when fucking or wanting to fuck has enough power to turn you onto abstinence.

Now I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I am not a political person and I don’t really have a stance on American Politics or the war in Iraq and what it is doing to the rest of the world with the high gas prices, but I do know dude comes across like he’s dumb as bricks, but probably isn’t that dumb considering he runs oil companies and is making a lot of people rich while dooping a whole country into supporting him and his endeavors that are obviously for personal gain, so maybe he’s actually a fucking genius and we’re the idiots.

Either way, I’d stay the fuck away from this piece just to be safe, even though she looks like she loves sex and has a pretty rockin’ body, but I don’t mind looking at pictures of her in a bikini, but that’s probably because I am a pervert.

Posted in:Bikini|Natalia Bush

2008

08

Jul

Elsa Zylberstein Has a Useless Nipple Slip of the Day

Her name is Elsa Zylberstein and she’s someone you probably haven’t heard of because she’s from France and not from America. As you’d expect with a name like Zylberstein, has a Jewish father, but since dude realized that Jewish Woman aren’t the prettiest things out there, married a Catholic girl and had her. She considered herself a Jew because I assume it was good for business when you want to work in entertainment, since Jews like the help other Jews, but the Jewish religion never acepted her as a Jew because her mom was a Gentile. Now she has moved onto Buddhism, and this is a whole lot of information you don’t give a fuck about, but what you should give a fuck about is the fact that she’s having a pretty amazing nipple slip, because seeing nipples fall out of dresses is what going to bars and hanging out by the dancefloor in hopes a bitch in a tube top who decided to not wear a bra that day is all about when you’re a creep like me.

Posted in:Elsa Zylberstein|Nipple Slip

2008

08

Jul

Leelee Sobieski Hides Her Bikini in a Gypsy Dress of the Day

I was sitting in a ghetto part of town tonight, drinking a beer on a patio that overlooked the water and the people next to me were a lovely Jewish couple who clearly had a lot of money, but were rolling through the same digs I was, because they were cheap. I was alone and had no choice but to listen to their chronic complaints about the price of the food and how other restaurants chargin 15 dollars for a steak or highway robbers. Now I don’t have any money, but know that if I was to go to a restaurant and see a steak was 15 dollars I wouldn’t give a fuck. Now I don’t live in a mansion, drive a luxury car, or send my kids to 20,000 dollar a year private school or stage 20,000 dollar winter vacations because I don’t celebrate Christmas, and I don’t fucking concern myself with a 15 dollar steak and I don’t think they should either. I guess when your wife has a Jewish dog face, your priorities shift and instead of dealing with the real issue at hand, you focus your energy on insignificant shit.

I was doing a little research regarding the war going on in my email about Judaism being a race and not a religion and figured out that the Jewish population made a huge comback since the holoaust making me believe that in order to maintain their religion and bring it back to a stong number, they had to fuck family members and that explains the issue everyone has about my Jewish girls looking like dog claims. It’s not a race or cultural issue, it’s a backwoods issue of incest and if it makes everyone feel better, backwoods products of incest have ugly wives and complain about the price of steaks too, but that’s just becuase they are used to eating mud and mud is free.

All this to say, Leelee Sobieski may be Jewish and have fatty tits, but she still stays covered up in her gypsy outfit like a good Jew keeping her historical roots alive. I hear her boyfriend fucks her through a hole in a sheet too, but that could just be a rumor. Here’s her poor excuse for a bikini picture.

Posted in:Bikini|Leelee Sobieski

2008

08

Jul

Kristy Morgan is a Whore Who Won A Shot at Love 2 of the Day

If don’t really give a shit about TIla Tequila or her show, but I do find the whole thing funny because it’s all a fucking lie and people buy into it. Sure, Tila probably fucks other chicks, or plays it up like any attention craving club slut so that people think she fucks chicks and start paying more attention to her than before they saw her groping another chick, but I heard she has a boyfriend, does the show in her spare time, and doesn’t interact with the contestants at all when the cameras are off. I was next to her in a club and someone asked her if she misses the dude who won the first season and she had no idea who the girl was talking about. She cried over him and all that shit, but didn’t know who he was 6 months later because she probably never exchanged numbers with him. People get all worked up and into it because I guess they live boring fucking lives, when it is all lies.

It was leaked months ago that this bitch Kristy Morgan won, I had the pictures cued up to post, so I figured I’d throw it up, even though they are uninteresting. She’s a playboy model who probably wants to be the next Tila and is probably represented by her ghetto management company, and this is what she looks like, in the event that you give a shit, because I know that I don’t, even though when people lie to my face, I usually want to break them. But I guess I always realized that reality TV is not real.

Posted in:Kristy Morgan|Shot at Love 2

2008

07

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

My wife busted out the photoalbum this weekend to show me a glimpse of her past that I never really knew, because I am too self absorbed to care. She complained about me not giving her any attention, so I figured it was the least I could do to get her off my back.

When she started going through vacation pics from the 90s with her first husband and father of my stepdaughters, I saw that in every picture of him, dude had herpes all over his fucking mouth. Now, I never caught herpes from my wife, that I know of, mainly because I try to fuck her unless I have to and that usually happens when she pretty much rapes me and spikes my drink with viagra, and I assume she only busts a move when the coast is fucking clear, because when I asked her if she ever made out with him in that condition, she said yes and when I asked if he ever went down on her in that condition, she said yes, so when I asked her if she had herpes….she said yes.

t was great fucking news because it means I can now avoid her vagina all together and blame her for not telling me the truth when we first met around 10 years ago instead of conveniently not telling me until this past weekend. The lies that built the foundation of our union are working out in my favor and it’s time for a celebration. So here are my links….

Sluts Are As Good a Way As Any to Start Off Your Week
GO

Mischa Barton is the Topless Face of Some Ghetto Panty Company
GO

Vida Guerra Malibu Party
GO

Marisa Miller Leaves Little to the Imagination in this Months GQ
GO

Megan Fox is Now New and Improved Because She Dumped Brian-Austin Green
GO

Ashley Simpson’s Pregnant Pokies
GO

Glen Miller Sucks
GO

The 10 Hottest Bottle Blowjob Videos
GO

5 Most Awkward Kool Aid Ads
GO

Hayden Panettiere in Her Most Fuckable Postions Ever
GO

Pam Anderson Sluts Out for Her 41st Birthday of the Day
GO

Kanye West is Crying Again About Something or Another
GO

Use This to Get Sex, Because Getting Sex is Awesome and Something You Know Very Little About
GO

Drunk Redneck Gets His Ass Kicked and then Crys
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Drink Tequila
GO

Find Girls to Fuck, BecauseIt’s Not Really Sex If You’re Alone
GO

Mila Kunis and Elisha Cuthbert Gallery
GO

Moron Showing Off Crashes his Motorcycle
GO

Meet the Lovely Audrey
GO

Teen Lisa Enjoys The Sun
GO

Hot Blonde with a Great Rack. Nuff Said
GO

Jeisa Chiminazzo Lookin’ Good Half Naked
GO

Nicole Richie Possibly Thrown Out Of Club
GO

The Sluts from the Hills Celebrate the 4th of July
GO

Madonna Stole and Brainwashed Alex Rodriguez, Says Wife
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

The Best Porn Out There, From a Guy Who Does Nothing But Watch Porn
GO

Gorgeous Brunette Jaime Hammer
GO

Girl Cracks Head on Pavement
GO

Dani Woodword Gallery
GO

Gemma Garrett – Bikini Pics From Spain
GO

Least Shocking News Item of the Day. Seriously
GO

The Girls of the Island of Ivory
GO

Chuck Norris Will Kill You
GO

Public Access Dance
GO

Ruby Knox at Home
GO

Halle Berry is Photo Shooting
GO

Aniston Misses Jolie Feud, Starts Fight with Kimbo Stewart
GO

Fireworks Alarm Clock
GO

Tara Reid is Looking Rougher By the Day
GO

Oprah and Gayelle Take On Italy With Their Big Lesbian TIts and Stomachs…
GO

And Now, The Best Bikini Ever Made
GO

Stripper Sluts Get It On in Public
GO

Pick Handcuff Locks Next Time You Get Arrested
GO

Some Groping on the Chinese Subway
GO

JASMIN ST CLAIRE HAS ONE SUPER-FINE ASS … AND SHE WANTS TO RIDE YOU LIKE
A HARLEY DAVIDSON!
GO

Poll of the Day – Who Do You Wanna Fuck
GO

Top 10 Hip Hop Vixens
GO

Genital Mutilation Ad – Because It’s Not Just For Africa Anymore
GO

Wimbeldon’s Winner Rafael Nada’s Girlfriend in a Bikini
GO

The Mini Me Sex Tape Star Reveals Some Intimate and Creepy Details of their Sex Life
GO

Details of the First Gyno Vagina Spa
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Naked Chick Squatting
GO

Asian Vagina
GO

Some Big Natural Tits and Their Vaginas
GO

Some Fetish Lookin’ Nudity
GO

Naked Asian Tits and Porn
GO

Some Chick Posing Sexy in What Looks Like an Amateur Photoshoot
GO

Some Hot Black Ass and Big Ol Nippled Tits….
GO

Public Sex Club Let’s You Live Vicariously Through Real Exhibitionists
GO

BONUS – THESE GIRLS ARE DRUNK AND EASY IF YOU’RE IN ED HARDY
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

07

Jul

Mya Rockin’ a Bikini of the Day

I made friends with a black dude outside some hotel lobby. He was drunk and talking to every 18 year old girl who walked into the place. He’d tell them that he liked their dress or that they were beautiful and kept this up for about 30 minutes to different groups of girls, always singling out the ugliest one in the group. He started chatting me up. He was freaking out about all this young pussy and told me that he was laying the groundwork. He saaid that girls are hooked on black dudes and that all girls want a daddy. Since he was in his 50s, he was working that angle.

The next thing I know, I am in the hotel bar with the dude, who is buying me drinks and all these hot young girls rush him because he was so nice to them when they walked in and was a familiar face amongst all the chachi losers with bottles of Grey Goose trying to bag them.

Within 10 minutes, this friendly older guy these girls were running to for safety is making out with almost every one he spoke to walking in. They were all taking turns with him, so while 10 girls are crowded around him waiting for a turn, I’m confused to shit as to what I am experiencing.

The bad news was that I didn’t get the spillover of girls he didn’t want, because he wanted all of them, but I did get to see some ass and titties as dude playfully lifted and pulled down their dresses for me. He only to get a friendly slap on the shoulder by the girls he pretty much violated as to say “oh Mr Old Strange Pervert Black Man, You’re So Silly”, knowing that if I did it, I’d get arrested so I ended up leaving because the world is not fair.

I guess that has nothing to do with Mya in a bikini since she’s not young, and hot anymore buy I guess she’s black enough to remind me of my new friend who I will never see again….

Posted in:Bikini|Mya