I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

30

Jun

Ronaldo’s Girlfriend/Fiance/Model/Front in a Bikini of the Day

Thank fucking god the Euro shit is over, now honking immigrants with flags on their cars can be put to fucking rest and I can go about my daily activities of doing nothing without getting annoyed by honking immigrants.

Here are some pictures of soccer prodigy Ronaldo and his model fiance, or what I call his front to convince the world he’s no homo by hanging out with her, when in reality he’s probably talking about crushes he has on his team and which of his guy friends have the hottest cocks from the locker room. Sure it may not be a fact that he’s a poofter, but his shorts come as pretty strong evidence, and I know that when the picture of him taking a piss was taken, he was standing there wishing that his hand was on someone elses cock and not on his. I guess life is unfair even to those who seem like they’ve got everything.

Either way, her Nereida Gallardo and she is hot….

In Black:

In Gold:

Posted in:Bikini|Girlfriend|Ronaldo

2008

30

Jun

Courtney Love Being Carted Around in a Shopping Cart of the Day

I had a friend who was pretty much living on the streets for a little while because he had no job, no money and a couple awesome addictions and mental health issues. I would go visit him to catch up and have a couple beers and as the weeks went on, his smell got substantially worse. I asked him when the last time he changed his socks was, because I thought I was going to throw up at the smell of rotting flesh and he confessed that it has been a long time and it was becoming a problem because he thought he either had an infection or a foot fungus that was causing him massive grief. He offered to take off his sock to get my expert opinion but I just told him to go to a doctor and to change his fuckin socks more often, because if you gotta change anything as a matter of survival, socks are up there with underwear. Either way, he didn’t listen and I didn’t hear from him for a few months, one day when I was walking around – I heard some dude callin’ my name, I looked over and it was my old buddy and he was being pushed in a shopping cart. Dude’s foot had been amputated because he didn’t take my advice, and he couldn’t afford a wheel chair rental, so instead just let his friends push him around in one of their homes. It was a pretty awkward encounter, but when you’re poor you make due with what you got.

Either way, here are some pics of Courtney Love biting his style because she’s equally crazy and probably equally addicted and equally unhygienic but she does have a lot of money, so there’s really no excuse for her ghetto wheelchair, except for maybe that she’s a fuckin murdering cunt, but even that’s not much of an excuse for anything other than killing people.

Posted in:Courtney Love|Shopping Cart

2008

30

Jun

Bridget the Midget Flashes Some Tit of the Day

I am not so well versed in porn as people think I am, I constantly get people coming up to me and asking me or telling me about amazing porn movies they’ve seen or pornstars of the moment that they want to fuck, because they know I am a sleazy motherfucker who is on the computer all day, but the truth is that I know pretty much nothing about porn. I know even less about fetish porn, because fetish shit just freaks me the fuck out, especially when those fetishes involve midgets.

So it turns out that this bitch flashing her tits, is Bridget the Midget, who is probably the most famous midget pornstar, but this is the first time I’ve heard of her and I think she’s pretty fucking smart. Not only does becoming a pornstar mean she’s going to get laid when she otherwise wouldn’t because finding dudes to fuck midgets is fuckin’ harder than you think because no dude wants to admit they want to fuck midgets and no midget has the self confidence to offer up sex for fear of further rejection even though the truth is when given a pussy all dudes will throw down and now this midget with her very small vagina despite all the abuse is making money, getting laid and totally using what was given to her instead of sitting in an office job crying about how life wronged her.

Here she is flashing her tits, because she knows being a novelty isn’t all that bad.

Posted in:Bridget the Midget|Nipple

2008

30

Jun

Naomi Campbell in a Bikini of the Day

I fell in love with a black chick and I’d tell you the story, but you’ll just call me out for being racist, even though it’s what actually happened, but I guess since I don’t care about what you think, I’ll write it anyway.

So, I went out to KFC to get my wife a bucket of chicken, and this black chick in the shortest fucking skirt and low cut shirt walks in like she’s Naomi Campbell and should be walking the runways in Paris and not the line-up at a fried chick place. Her body was lean, her legs were long and her tits were huge and she made me mad that I never bagged a black girl because I was always too scared they’d rob me. About a minute later, her pimp or boyfriend or dude she’s fuckin’ walks in and motherfucker was definitely packin’ heat, so I just minded my own business as they went at each other and her fondled her ass and stuck his tongue down her throat and she grabbed at his dick one minute, like they were at a swingers party but were really just at a fried chicken place, something equally sexy to some people. I just looked the other way because I wasn’t going to get shot and ignored them as they fought over their order and dude turned around and slapped her across the face for stepping out of line because he only had enough money for 1 drink and she called him a broke ass in front of the whole restaurant, the next minute. It was a beautiful experience, one of total dysfunction and ghettoness, one far more beautiful than Naomi Campbell in a bikini kissing some rich white dude.

Posted in:Bikini|Naomi Campbell

2008

30

Jun

Lisa RInna Brings Out Her Bikini of the Day

The thing I like about Lisa Rinna is that she looks like she was in some kind of nuclear waste accident that made her look like some kind of mutant you’d jerk off to in one of your favorite comics, but the only accident that happened in her life is that she made enough money to pay a dude to mangle the fuck out of her face and body because she thought it made her look pretty.

It turns out that when she parades that catcher mitt face of hers around in a bikini, some of you fall into the trap and think it’s hot, while I just see an unnatural mess of a woman, but I guess if she puts that much attention into her appearance, she probably is good in bed, or at least has a pretty hot designer pussy, hopefully not one that she design, because based on her track record, what she thinks looks good actually looks scary.

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna|Plastic Surgery

2008

30

Jun

Cindy Crawford Was in Montreal of the Day

I had no idea that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal promoting the opening of some furniture because I tend to not stay on top of events that take place at Furniture Stores and try to focus my social calendar around places girls get naked and not where girls talk about decorating rooms and revamping their houses. The only reason I know that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal this past weekend, is because I accidentally had sex with her, and by sex I mean I was crossing the street when this black SUV almost ran me the fuck over around midnight, they stopped to go into some bar or hotel or some massage parlor or whatever the fuck it was and this tall chick in a red dress got out with 4 dudes who must have been her security. I was with a friend and he told me that it was Cindy Crawford so I screamed “Cindy, I used to jerk off to your playboy pics before my dick stopped working”, she ignored me and kept walking but I know she thought about it later that night while masturbating, I just have that affect on women.

Here are the pictures of her at the furniture store, a highlight in her fading career but not as much of a highlight in my fading career as screaming that to her. It is times like that that I wish I had a camera, but I’m too poor.

If you find these pictures or my Story Boring, You Can Always Watch This Clip of Cindy Crawford Taking her Panties Off on Leno
GO

Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Montreal

2008

30

Jun

Alanis Morisette Does the Howard Stern Show of the Day

Alanis Morisette is not hot and the thought of doing anything sexual to her big scary woman in song vagina does nothing for me and it’s got nothing to do with my inadequate performing penis and everything to do with her being a fucking a dog and not a Golden Retriever kind of dog that is loyal to you and brings your a sense of responsibility and happiness in your life so that you don’t kill yourself because you feel like you aren’t alone, which you are, but a dog of a woman you wouldn’t let lick peanut butter off your dick no matter how much you drank that night.

Her horse head, obnoxious singing and her artistic integrity bullshit is boring and someone told me she talks about sex, drugs, dyking out and her ex fiance who is engaged and fucking carlet Johansson on Howard Stern, my computer is running like shit so I am putting it up while I sort this shit out.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Posted in:Alanis Morisette|Howard Stern

2008

30

Jun

Amy Winehouse Punches a Fan of the Day

Here’s a video of Amy Winehouse in concert at some big music festival this past weekend and she throws an elbow or a punch at one of her fans as she badly sings her song.

It’s moments like these that I want to share a needle with her while doing intravenous drugs, because watching the sultry and seductive way she struggles to walk across the stage because she’s out of breath and slowly dying turns me on. I guess I am kinda drawn to hurt, dying or diseased things because they are easy to catch when they try to run away from you, it’s pretty much the law of the jungle and seeing Amy Winehouse does nothing less than turn me into a raging animal that can’t be tamed.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|fan|Punches

2008

30

Jun

Britney Spears Has a Hairy Ass Upskirt of the Day

So Britney Spears probably isn’t fucking anyone right now and hasn’t waxed or shaved her asshole and I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal, mainly because I come from an era where normal chicks never waxed and I was like some kind of British High Society game hunter in Africa on some kind of safari trying to tame the beast, and by tame the beast I mean find the fuckin’ prize hidden behind the elements on more than one occasion. I am talking girls so fuckin’ hairy you would think their pussies were some kind of animal or even a substitute for underwear and that shit never stopped me, so seeing some ass hair poking out of Britney’s underwear doesn’t phaser me, but if I saw shit stuck to that ass hair this post would be a little less accepting of her laziness.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Hairy Ass|Upskirt

2008

28

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

It’s the weekend and I still haven’t left my house to get drunk. That depresses me so I am not going to waste my time writing this post and will just leave you with the links because that’s how lazy fuckers do things. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Spend Your Weekend Telling Hot Sluts How To Make You Cum….
GO

Stalker of the Day
GO

The Naked Drummer is Becoming Famous
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Susana Wants You to Work the Power Tube
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Normal Men Get Back Pains From Working to Hard. Hugh Hefner Gets Them From Fucking Too Much
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Jodie Marsh Panty Upskirt
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Who Would You Rather Do – The Models Who Fuck Famous People Edition
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Rihanna is Bloated
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10 Best Skinny Dipping Movie Scenes
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Video Games They Could Make Porno’s Out Of:
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Stripper Doesn’t Do Her Job Very Well
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What’s Wrong With Office Masturbation?
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Balloon Bowl is Amazing

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The 394 feet Dirtbike Jump – World Record

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Let’s Laugh at Myspace Losers
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Find a Girl and Then Fuck Her
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I want Beyonce and Solange to Fight to the Death in a No Holds Barred Celebrity Death Match
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Life is About Tough Lessons
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Paris Hilton Took a Shit Bath
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Kate, Raven and Misty Put on a Show
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Jana Jordan Has a Tight Body
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The Real World…The Aftermath
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Jessica Taylor Has Got It Going On. From the Neck Down
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Fegie’s Daughter is Quite the Looker
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Lohan Still Having Labor Pains
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Leona Lewis Looks Smokin at Nelson Mandela’s Birthday
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Coco’s Implants Might Need a Tune Up
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Amateurs of the Day
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Porn You Can Thank Me For Later.
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Gina Lynn breaks the law
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Okay Not EVERYBODY Gets to Play Wii Fit in Their Underpants
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Bad Babysitter Masterbates at Work
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Tory Lane Takes It Off
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Michelle Heaton is Some Hot Broad I Have Never Heard of Hanging Out in a Lingerie Store in a Country I Have Never Been To
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Ashlynn Brooke is Busty
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Get Some Help Getting Laid This Weekend
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Mini Me is Gonna Sue the Shit Out of TMZ
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Useable NES Controller Table is Amazing
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Kitchen Bikini Slip and Slide
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Vida Guerra Photoshoot
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Guess The Celebrity Thong!
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Man, Hollywood is Running Out of Ideas Fucking Fast
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Tramp Stamp to End All Tramp Stamps
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Sara Tomasi is Hot and I Think I Love Her
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Do you women regret one-night stands more than men?
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A Plastic Surgeon’s Response to Audrina’s Fake Tits
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Funny Climate Change Ad that Doesn’t Scare Me
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Anime Fuck Sluts is Right Up Your Alley, Because You are a Loser Who Watches Too Many Cartoons
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Beat Super Mario Brothers in 5 Minutes
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BONUS – Sluts Who Can’t Say No To You, Because There Are in Photos and Can’t Talk Back
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Posted in:Uncategorized