I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

26

Mar

Kim Kardashian Better Be Pregnant of the Day

Kim Kardashian is one of those girls who needs to wear heels because otherwise her legs look think and stumpy like some kind of midget olympic speed skater or some shit, only she’s not nearly as athletic and her thickness comes from lazy overeating because the only weightlifting she does is carrying her fat tits and ass out to do errands and by errands I mean hosting parties at lame overpriced clubs.

There’s a rumor going around that she’s pregnant, and I think that would be a great explanation for her maternity shirt covering her fat but reality is that she’s been this big for as long as I remember her so maybe the secret to her fat tits is to get knocked up and to hold onto the baby for as long as she can, aborting it at the last possible moment and doing it all again…

I guess the good news is that she likes to go out an do errands for herself like buying light bulbs and getting pedicures but she’s a media craving whore and it’s safe to say this is all for a photo op because she’s addicted to flashing lights. I guess that’s what happens when you’re the fat, unibrow, horsehead girl no one wanted to talk to growing up and slowly found a way out of insecurity by doing porn hoping that one day everyone will love you or some shit so that she could go back to the people who teased her and say “look at me now” or some shit.

Posted in:Ass|Fat|Kim Kardashian|Pregnancy Rumor

2008

26

Mar

Paul Heyman Does Ice T and Coco of the Day

So wrestling icon, whatever that means, Paul Heyman has some kind of online show called the Heyman Hustle and he goes out and interviews random people. This week he met up with Coco at her birthday party . She’s apparently only 29, has been married to Ice T for 7 years, never spent a night apart because she was a runaway he found at the bus station and she had no where else to go. She talks about how she fell for Ice T because of the way he fucks her with some kind of magical stroke and tries to describe the gear she’s wearing, making it pretty clear that the stroke she’s talking about is how he swipes his credit card so smoothly when he’s buying her the sluttiest designer clothes ever made, you know the kind that looks like shit you buy at the sex store but way more expensive.

Reality is that none of that matters, because Ice T sings a little song to her and acts all happy in love and shit and that’s something that will never happen to you. If you ever get married, you will be the kind of guy who hides in your garage just to get away from the bitch. So I’m not going to judge their relationship or why they are together because seeing a dude who thinks he’s hood and a chick who let’s people grab her tits for money isn’t really abnormal and at least they seem to be having fun together and that’s really what life is all about…..not to mention having a hooker on staff makes masturbating obsolete and that would make you happy too, because when you marry a real girl you gotta negotiate for sex, at least this way you just threaten to fire her and next thing you know she’s bouncing on your dick.


Watch the Video Here
GO

Posted in:Coco|Heyman Hustle|Ice T

2008

25

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

So I got this email from some mother who is doing some advice column with her daughter. It was a press release and it was boring, but it was coming directly from her and not a PR rep, this is what they wrote:

Mother, Daughter Team Up for Advice Column

Melissa and Katie Havard give two different perspectives in teen advice column.

so I decided to email her back….

Hey Melissa and Katie –

I’d love to know how I got on this email list and when you and your daughter intend on posing nude together for Playboy as I think you’re a real fox and when she turns 18, she may be one too. Let’s do lunch.

With Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

And She Wrote:

Well gee. Jesus Martinez. How classy of you.

First, my days of posing for Playboy are long gone. But “thanks anyway�. After 40, gravity and childbirth took its toll. And I’ve been happily married to my handsome pilot husband for 25 years. So, I don’t do lunch. My daughter is already 18, but is uber feminist and doesn’t like magazines that exploit women.

And I had asked some of my friends for good contacts to help promote the site—as I believe it has some positive media value and evidently, your name mistakenly got on the list. Cruel joke on me. Sorry for intrusion.

and I wrote:

What – you’re daughter is a lesbian? That adds a whole new dynamic to those nude pics you guys are going to do…I am thinking sex tape or maybe even something more hardcore than Playboy….like Hustler. I remember when they had those triplets in the 90s and they got HUGE!! Good luck with that and let me know when it drops. I will definitely support that!

And then I did my links:

Heidi Montag Makes a Shitty Attempt at Singing Again
GO

Here’s the Maxim Beach Watch with Celebrities in Bikinis
GO

Some Slut Named Jenny Milstead in a Blue Bathing Suit Video
GO

Lindsay Lohan Sex Tape Update
GO

Make Some Steel Wool Fireworks, Because You Need Some Excitement in Your Life
GO

Here’s an Upskirt from one of the Whores from Big Brother 8
GO

Contrary to Your Own Belief, Sex is a Two Person Activity!!
GO

Science! Energy! Electrolites! Power!
GO

2 Girls – 1 Angry German Kid
GO

Check Out the Crutches on this Bitch – I think I Just Ruined the Joke
GO

Some Bitchslap in Super Slow Motion
GO

And all This Time, I Thought MY Mug Shots Were Bad
GO

Girls Will Show Their Tits to You, And It’s Even Easier Than You Think
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio = Boners
GO

Sex is Everything You Think If Will Be and More
GO

Porn, What Is It Good For? Absolutly Everything
GO

Woody Harrelson Is Losing His fucking Mind
GO

Can Someone Please Just Kill Spencer Pratt?
GO

Okay, What the Fuck Is Wrong with Lohan’s Face?
GO

Pam Anderson is Officially Back on the SEnior Citizens Dating Market
GO

Get Laid, And See What All You Friends Are Talking About
GO

Turn You Camera into a Taser!
GO

When Ninjas Attack
GO

Kate Moss is a Slutty Biker Chick
GO

Top 10 Sexiest Dance Moves
GO

Check Out These Mushroom Cans for Canned Mushrooms….
GO

Kim Cattrall Cameltoe
GO

This is the Sickest News Report I Have Ever Heard – Seriously – This Fucker Needs TO Be Killed
GO

Her Name is Cassie and She Does GQ
GO

Some Puerto Rican Ass Dancing Video
GO

Top 10 Celebrity Camel Toes
GO

Her Name is Bree Conden and This is the Monday Morning Pick Me Up only on Tuesday
GO

Princess Madeleine of Sweden’s Got Some Hot Fuckin Cleavage
GO

WWE DIVA Mickie James in Some Nude Pics From Before She was “FAMOUS”
GO

Demi Moore Uses Leeches to Keep Her Lookin’ Like a Fine Cougar
GO

Pretend to Break Your Neck, Then Ride Around in a Wheel Chair So People Feel Sorry For You
GO

The Scissor Sex Workout
GO

And Now, Some Hookers Fighting On The Street Corner!!!
GO

Next Time a Girl Pisses You Off, Do Like This Guy Did and Punch Her In the Pussy
GO

A Little Vida Guerra Never Does Anyone Wrong
GO

Professor Needs To Take a Chill Pill
GO

Kim Kardashian is Most Probably Knocked Up
GO

A Funny story About Some Bitches Who Robbed a Bank
GO

An Old stepTV That Made Me Think of Your Dad
GO

My Black Friend
GO

Say Hello To the Lovely Lucy
GO

Watch All The South Park You Want Online, Uncensored, You Donkey Raping Shit Eater
GO

Now THAT’s How You Stay Competitive in the Gasoline Business
GO

Just When I Thought Paris Hilton Couldn’t Get Any Dumber, I Am Proved Wrong
GO

Krystal Forscutt Is All Oiled Up
GO

Felicia Taylor in the Buff
GO

I Don’t Know Who Daria Werbowy is, But She is Naked on the Beach
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some NASTY Goth Lookin’ Chick and Her Vagina
GO

Black, Naked, Camera Phone and Mirror is All She Needs
GO

Asian Porn Pictures
GO

Some Big Black Ass
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Girl’s Vagina
GO

FROM THE FORUM

Post a Pic of Yourself, Especially If You Are Female and Nude
GO

Some Reasons to Actually Watch the News
GO

Why Hello There Alyssa
GO

A Little Bit of Everything
GO

A Little Riley Mason to Pass the Day
GO

More Amateur Fun
GO

Congratulations!!
GO

Britains Best Boobs, According to This Guy Anyways
GO

Some Chick Shakin Her Ass on the Web Cam
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

25

Mar

Sophie Monk’s Got an Outty Vagina of the Day

I don’t really know if Sophie Monk’s got one of those vaginas where the clit hood pokes out like it’s stickin’ its tongue out at you but it looks like she does in these tight pants she’s got jacked up and I find that hot. I used to be all about the coinslot because I was convinced they didn’t exist so I’d ask every girl I came across if she had just a slit and they would be all awkward before telling me I’d never find out. None of that really matters, what does matter is that despite her being damaged goods for gettin’ with the Good Charlotte sister, I still think she’s got it going on and can see past that. The way I justify it to myself is that she’s from Australia and in Australia they do things different. People who are lame here are cool there and vice versa, so I can’t blame her for falling into his trap, it’s probably just a cultural thing. I remember seeing video of the New Kids on the Block in Japan 2 years after their careers in North America died and girls were still fainting for those poofters, and a lot of dlisters here are huge stars out there so it all makes sense.

What doesn’t make sense is how he went from this chick to Paris Hilton in what’s gotta be a major fuckin’ rebound, we’ve all been there….but I can guarantee whatever kinda heat she’s got packin’ in her pants has nothin’ on this girl’s outty pussy and the truth is that neither vaginas have anything on his brother’s cock that he misses so much….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Sophie Monk|Vagina

2008

25

Mar

Simona Fusco Stratten in a Bikini of the Day

Her name is Simona Fusco Stratten and these are some pictures of her in a bikini that hit the other day, I am slow on posting this shit but figure you like lookin’ at girls in bikinis because your life probably lacks that so I am doing them anyway. I think lookin at her pretty hot body is a lot better than the girls I get stuck lookin’ at every time I hit the beach I go with high fuckin’ hopes, like that maybe there will be some young girls tanning topless and playing volleyball or tanning with their hot bodies, but it always seems to end up being a beach for the elderly women who aren’t scared of skin cancer.

You know in one piece bathing suits that instead of drawing attention to their tits, draw attention to their huge stomachs that if lucky enough leave a gap big enough for you to see some old lady vagina because of the stomach overhang, because let’s face it, there’s not always enough fabric to cover a fat bitch up proper. The good news is that at least you get to see some box and they don’t really mind because they like the male attention, it reminds them of their younger years and feel like they still have sex appeal and take that home to their husbands that night with a nostalgic blowjob….

Either way, here’s Simona Fusco Stratten.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Simona Fusco Stratten|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Mila Jovovich Ruined By Pregnancy of the Day

I get lots of hate for making fun of pregnancy and saying things like it ruins perfectly alright vaginas and perfectly alright bodies and that’s why mothers really love their kids as much as they because they know they sacrificed any sex appeal they once had for this little fucker and their future consists of wiping snot off faces and dealing with whiney little brats crying because they didn’t get the video game console that all their friends got and all the other bullshit that comes with kids like making dinner for them and picking them up after soccer practice…

Either way, there was a time that Mila Jovovich was a decent import, I never loved her because she didn’t have tits and looked like a little Russian gymnast boy, but I know a lot of other people did. Well it turns out that her uterus now hangs over her belt like she was me only I’ve got bigger tits.

Posted in:Mila Jovovich|Pregnancy Body

2008

25

Mar

Emma B in a Bikini of the Day


Her name is Emma Balfour and I don’t know what she does. I feel like posting some pictures of girls in bikinis because I got nothing better to do todayand I figure all you virgins who email me telling me you use my site to jerk off, which by the way makes me feel uncomfortable, are lookin’ for something worth jerkin off to.

I know that I wouldn’t be getting off to this shit if my dick worked but that’s just because she looks like this drag queen I once did shots with at a club, you know long skinny legs from being a marathon runner on his spare time when he wasn’t wearing panties and retarded fake tits that look like bowling balls on a mini ass.

My theory is if you get off to this bitch, you pretty much are gay but I’m just basing it all on the balls she’s got stuffed in that bikini bottom, who knows maybe she just has a low hanging vagina.

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Emma B

2008

25

Mar

Coco Poses With Her Tits of the Day

Nothing says you’ve made it as a Gangster Rapper turned actor like having the trashiest stripper lookin’ bitch with the fakest tits as your wife. It’s like there’s no way he could have pulled off dating a useless Coco type by just being a local drug dealer. He’s gone above an beyond that by becoming a millionaire but is still running after the same garbage pussy he would be if he never left the ghetto, maybe he’s just likes rockin’ the power position because he knows her fat tits can’t leave him since he’s given her a taste of the high life but it’s probably because he bought her off the black market when she was 14 and kept her in the basement cultivating her into what she is today with dance lessons and plastic surgeries like some kind of Frankenstein shit.

I guess there is such thing of an over achieving slut and the reality is that I am posting on her and not on my favorite slut Amber from down the street who always lets me stick a finger in her while gettin’ a private dance for an extra 5 dollars, even though I keep trying to explain to her that she should be the one paying me because in case you didn’t know, I got some magic fingers.

Posted in:Ass|Coco|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Charisma Carpenter has Tits of the Day

I never understood why virgins love the TV version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I realize there are girls on it who are worth fuckin’ and all that but I always seem to find girls worth fucking on every single TV show I’ve ever watched, whether it’s Oprah, Roseanne, Extreme Home Makeover or even an audience member on an infomercial for balding men scalp spray paint. I am not very picky. But this Buffy shit is so heavy it’s one of those shows that makes creepy dudes who can’t get real pussy feel like they are in emotional relationships with these bitches on their screens and that shit spills over into becoming rapists and website hackers who dis their girls.

I guess none of that matters, but here’s some Charisma Carpenter post Playboy and Buffy fame, rockin’ her tits at some event I didn’t bother remembering where because I am lazy….

Posted in:Charisma Carpenter|Tits

2008

25

Mar

Claudia Schiffer in GQ Lookin’ Hot of the Day

These pictures of Claudia Schiffer for GQ dropped recently and I didn’t post it yet because my server sucks. It’s no surprise that bitch looks good. I’ve written about her before saying that she’s got it going on for a mom of 3 in her 40s about to dry up in menopause and I stand by that. Then again you have to realize that I have never had much of an issue with mom’s in menopause because they always try harder and a little warming lube always gives the illusion that the vagina isn’t dead.

Posted in:Claudia Schiffer|GQ|Hot