I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

12

Nov

I am – Lohan’s Shitty Upskirt Pictures of the Day

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I was hanging with some Native American girls this past weekend as I sometimes do, because I like to keep things multicultural and I don’t remember the night at all, but I do remember one of them hated me more than I hate myself and I like when that happens, because it reaffirms that I am right in thinking what I think about myself…it’s like getting an “A” on a test.

When I found out that she wasn’t as native as her friend and was what they call non-status and pay taxes, I decided that would be a good theme for the night. So instead of learning her name or asking her to Huff Gas with me, I decided to name her non-status and try to encourage her to fuck every white guy in the place, because they’ve already fucked her. Everytime she bought a drink, I’d be like “sweet deal, you didn’t have to pay taxes on that shit, maybe I should get you to buy my drinks for me” then I’d correct myself saying “oh shit, that’s right you’re non status”.

I realize that this story is way less funny than the actually experience, I guess you’d have to have been there to get it, but I am too lazy to edit myself and I like to document how I piss off new minorities and this weekend was dedicated to the non status people….

Either way, here are pictures of Lohan having a shitty upskirt, that isn’t an upskirt and is really just a pair of shorts. She may have gone to rehab, but didn’t go to finishing school, so I am pretty sure that her freckled vagina isn’t done being willing to get raped and pillaged like a Native Village, but the status she’ll land is some STD shit, that I am willing to bury my face into, because she’s worth the pain.


Related Posts:

Lohan’s Vagina Pictures
Lohan’s Nipple in a See Through Shirt
Lohan is Hot From Every Angle
Lohan’s Hot Tits

Posted in:Hot|Lindsay Lohan|Uncategorized|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

12

Nov

I am – RIP Kanye West’s Mom of the Day

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Death is never funny, even when it happens to a comedian or a clown, or when the person involved dies doing something stupid like showering with his TV because he didn’t want to miss his favorite episode of Friends or by trying to show his friends how cool he is by running through traffic like he was Frogger, or even if he died jerking off with a dildo jammed in his ass and a fleshlight in his hand wearing women’s panties, but this was emailed to me and I figured I’d throw it up.

I know that it’s not like there’s anything you can do about it and you’re probably not even a fan of Kanye’s but regardless, I am posting it because he was really close to her and sings about her and all that shit, and when death hits, the person either gets totally fucked up and self destructs or ends up producing the best shit of their life. So this is going to have some kind of impact on him and shit he’s involved in.

You should all call your moms and loved ones today, even if they are ashamed of you for being such a loser and fuck up who embarrasses the family and wrote you off 10 years ago asking you to never call home again, just because their still alive and you never know when they’ll drop dead leaving you with a whole lot of guilt for not talking to them when you had the chance that will follow you for the rest of your life and lead you to the bottle more than you’ve already been lead to the bottle.

Rapper Kanye West’s Mother Dies
By JACOB ADELMAN

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Donda West, mother of Kanye West and former chairwoman of Chicago State University’s English department, has died, a spokesman for the rapper said. She was 58.

Donda West died Saturday night in Los Angeles, said the spokesman, who asked for anonymity because not all family members had been notified.

“The family respectfully asks for privacy during this time of grief,” the spokesman said.

A cause of death has not been released.

Donda West was known for the strong bond she shared with her son, by whose side she was often seen at parties and award shows.

Kanye West, 30, often spoke of his close relationship with his mother, who raised him alone after her husband left when Kanye was 3.

She was the inspiration for the song, “Hey Mama,” on Kanye West’s 2005 album “Late Registration,” in which he sings: “Hey Mama, I wanna scream so loud for you, cuz I’m so proud of you … I appreciate what you allowed for me. I just want you to be proud of me.”

Donda West frequently defended her son against critics who accused him of penning misogynistic lyrics and other purported transgressions.

“I support my baby,” she said in a Chicago Sun-Times interview. “He is telling how he feels and he is speaking the truth as he sees it.”

In May, she published the book “Raising Kanye: Life Lessons from the Mother of a Hip-Hop Star,” in which she paid homage to her famous son.

Donda West served as chief executive of West Brands LLC, the parent company of her son’s business enterprises, and as chairwoman of the Kanye West Foundation, an educational nonprofit that works to decrease dropout rates and improve literacy.

Kanye West told the Associated Press in August that he and his mother worked together to devise the foundation’s first program, “Loop Dreams,” which helps public school students get involved in music.

“Me and my mother were discussing ways to give back and came up with the concept,” he said.

Donda West worked in higher education for 31 years, before leaving academia in 2004 to help manage her son’s career, according to a biography on the Kanye West Foundation’s Web site.

She began working at Chicago State University in 1980 and eventually chaired the school’s English department, according to the site. She started her teaching career in the early 1970s as an instructor at Brown College in Atlanta.

Kanye West’s writing partner Rhymefest lamented Donda West’s death Sunday in an appearance on Chicago radio station WCGI.

“She was everyone’s mom,” Rhymefest said. “A spirit never dies, a spirit lasts forever.”

Associated Press Music Writer Nekesa Mumbi Moody in New York and AP writer Sophia Tareen in Chicago contributed to this report.

Posted in:death|Kanye West|R.I.P.|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I don’t know where I found this picture, but I know why I saved it and the reason is simple. Cheesy dudes ruin hot chicks and makes them care about shit that is so irrelevant in life because they are cheesy dudes and they care about irrelevant shit like the rims on a car, so here’s this poor girl who has some potential in being a girl you’d want to date, but she’s hanging with the wrong crowd that probably influences her into listening to bad music, liking bad movies and buying lame clothes, all because who she is fuckin’. Life presented her with a few roads that she could have gone down, but for some reason she decided to go down the wrong path, she woulda been better off with some drug addict in a band or some shit, because then maybe she’d be cool….

Either way, I’ve been drunk all weekend and I don’t remember much, but still felt the need to deliver the links, here are the links. Click them…..


Sophie Monk is Naked in a Movie and I Love Her When She’s Naked
GO

Sharon Stone’s Camel Toe
GO

Hang Out in the Hometown Hotty Jaimes Dressing Room and See Her Tit Fall Out
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Mom Naked for Playboy
GO

Heather Mills Has Some One-Legged Cleavage
GO

Playboy’s Andrea Simms Naked for Playboy
GO

Some Girls Who Like to Fight in Thongs Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Eats a Cookie
GO

Some Fat Dude Dares a Chick To Eat a Carrot Out of His Ass
GO

Lohan on thecobrasnake with Jeremy Scott Because I Want to Marry Her
GO

Paulie Shore’s Little Penis With Some Hot Slut in a Bikini
GO

Anti-Sniper Suit (bizarre video)
GO

Victoria Bekham on Ugly Betty
GO

Some Dude Being Funny at a Sports Game
GO

Some UK Chick Named Roxanne Pallett Lookin Pretty Fuckin’ Good
GO

Some Recent Kim Kardashian Cleavage Pics
GO

Paris Hilton Shows Some Insane Cleavage at Some Event
GO

Some Slut Named Ivy Queen in a Leotard
GO

Batman Of Suburbia Part Two
GO

Natalie Portman Is Hot in Pink
GO

Girl Gets a Beating for Being With Another Chick’s Boyfriend
GO

Tori Spelling’s Kid is a Primate…Big Surprise on That One
GO

Megan Fox With Her Cool Fuckin’ Boyfriend
GO

Watch the New Mark Ronson Video
GO

Kristen Bell in Some Tight Shirt
GO

Some Guy Lets Girls in Bikinis Beat Him Up
GO

The Hipster Olympics
GO

Chyna Legally Changes Her Name to Chyna and Has a Penis
GO

Woman Driver Trying To Park because Women Can’t Drive – Video
GO

Elisabeth Hasselbeck Has Her Baby and is Now Has a Vagina that Matches Her Personality
GO

Seal Fell In Love With Heidi Klum When She Was Pregnant With Another Man’s Baby..Cuz He Likes His Women Used Up Like his Face
GO

Some Tight Bodied Asian Chick on Camera
GO

Drunk Russian Dude Rides His Bike Into the Wall
GO

Nicolette Sheridan is Knocked Up With Michael Bolton’s Baby…Menopause Has Been Nice to Her
GO

Some Lesbian Girls in Pictures
GO

Some Kid Eats a Whole Stick of Butter for 20 Dollars
GO

Some Kylie Minogue is an Old Lady in S&M Pictures
GO

Some Girl Who Reads the Site Made this Tit Video
GO

Restaurants Owned by Celebrities That Have Violated Health Codes
GO

Britney Failed a Drug Test
GO

Some Office Prank Bombs Because People in Offices Aren’t Funny
GO

Girl Flashes Her Tits at a Party
GO

Use this to Get Laid
GO

Toys Love is a Site with Girls Playin With Themselves and With Toys
GO

From Photobucket

Some Girl’s Private Album on Photobucket
GO

Another Girl on Phootbucket Showing Her Tits
GO

Some Hot Vagina on Photobucket
GO

Photobucket Blowjob
GO

Some More Nudity on Photobucket
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart from Photobucket
GO

Another Photobucker Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Anal Sex on Photobucket
GO

More Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Action on Phototbucket
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart, Maybe You Should Keep Your Clothes On…
GO

Some Photobucket Vagina
GO

Some Photobucket Naked Weirdness
GO

From the Forum:

Download Coldplay’s A Rush of Blood to the Head Album
GO

Download Coldplay’s Parachutes Album
GO

Download Maxim’s Hot Summer Issue
GO

Some Hot Lesbian’s Couple’s Dirty Pictures
GO

Some Real College Orgy Pics
GO

Some Girl Named Kelee Takes Naked Pics of Herself
GO

A New Suicide Girl Download
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – Gossip Girl…Girl of the Day

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Her name is Blake Lively and she’s the chick on Gossip Girl, a show I’ve never watched but probably should, because ever 18 year old chick is watching it and it’s nice to keep up with what’s going on if you ever want to stick your dick in them

A couple of years ago when the OC first hit, I made a point of watching that shit every thursday night because I used to have a shitty TV and I got it on my one channel. Every time I’d go out to be the creepy old guy at the college party, I’d talk about what happened on the OC and chicks would open up to me and make out with me and all that shit and it was easy fucking research.

I know Gossip Girl is about some NYC socialite rich kid bullshit where everyone is fucking everyone and there’s all kinds of drama on the shit and it’s poisoning every young girl out there and raising the next generation of sluts to love designer clothes more than they already do…..

Here’s a couple episode breakdowns for you to use when out and trying to score young vagina.

Seventeen Candles

Blair is devastated by the current state of her relationship with Nate and the guilt from her recent indiscretion. But she manages to put on a happy face for her 17th birthday party and attempts to hide her feelings from her friends. Hoping to ease the tension between Serena and Vanessa, Dan takes Vanessa to Blair’s party so the girls can bond together, but this ends up making Serena more uncomfortable. Jenny brings her mother home as a surprise visit, but Rufus isn’t ready to forgive and forget. Finally, Nate’s parents ask him to make a huge sacrifice to save his father’s business as he faces charges of embezzlement and fraud.

Victor, Victrola

Serena and Dan finally accept that they are crazy about each other, despite that they come from polar opposite worlds. Chuck thinks of investing in a club trying to make his father Bart Bass proud of him. Nate confronts his father, about the drugs he found in his house but he denies having a problem. Jenny discovers a secret that her parents have been keeping from her. Finally, Blair is devastated by Nate’s actions when Jenny reveals that Nate kissed her by accident thinking she was Serena.

The Handmaiden’s Tale

Dan is torn between two girls when his childhood friend, Vanessa, returns home and declares her feelings for him, just as he and Serena are trying to figure out what they mean to each other. At the infamous masked ball, Blair sends Nate on a scavenger hunt, but Nate is ultimately still distracted by his feelings for Serena. Although Blair makes it perfectly clear that outsiders are not welcome, a disguised Jenny and Dan sneak into the ball. Finally, Lily asks Rufus to accompany her to an Eleanor Waldorf event in order to make Bart Bass jealous

That’s enough of that….This Blake Lively chick is the new Mischa Barton on the new OC and she plays the girl Serena and she’s in her school uniform and you like that. Now use this knowledge when you’re standing outside your local private schools looking for love and send me pics of the outcome….

Related Posts:

Mischa Barton’s Tit Slip
Mischa Barton’s Got a Dumpy Ass
Mischa Barton Smokes for Horny Lohan Wanker

Posted in:Blake Lively|Gossip Girl|School Uniform|Teen|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – Elisha Cuthbert in Stupid Pants of the Day

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I met a homeless looking guy who claimed he dated Elisha Cuthbert when she was in high school, because she’s from Montreal. He was telling me everything about her, from what her tits looked like, to what her pussy smelled and tasted like. He claimed that he knocked her up and she got an abortion and that letting her do that was the biggest mistake he ever made, because now his living on the street and he’ should be in a k-fed position. When I told him that if she had kept the baby, she would have never got work in LA, she’d be too busy trying to make ends meet..and by making ends meet, I mean suckin’ dick in back alleys and working the pole like all good teenage mothers.

The good thing about being impotent is that the less complicated things in life are amazing to me. Because the second you stick your dick in a girl it’s like you’ve locked yourself into some kind of problem that will present itself down the line, in my case it was just dealing with the rejection of them not wanting to fuck me again, and obviously the trying to cum during sex while they were crying, which is always hard to do because I am a nice guy.

Either way, I know that if I could get it up, I’d probably be fucking hookers every chance I got, and if I wasn’t fucking hookers, I’d be trying to fuck every little slut I come across, and that would make me a pretty bad husband, and since keeping up this husband of the year shit that’s so fuckin’ important to the core of who I am, I only make out with girls and suck their tits and try to finger bang them or go down on them and as far as I’m concerned that’s not cheating…..So what it comes down to is that my sex life is one of a 15 year old kid but with a lot more risk of catching STDs on my face, or getting girls pregnant with my tongue.

Either way, at least homeless dude can sleep well at night in his box while coming off whatever drugs he was on, knowing that he got her in her prime and that aging is playing a pretty mean joke on her and it’s always nice to see your hot teenage girlfriend turn into a washed up 35 year old fat chick with 4 babies and a lot of misery because her husband cheats on her and she’s poorer than you are, hypothetically of course….

Related Posts:

Elisha Cuthbert Looks Like a Jewish Retiree
Elisha Cuthbert In a Bikini
Elisha Cuthbert’s Cleavage and Unlit Cigarette for Horny Lohan Wanker
Elisha Cuthbert Smokin’ For Horny Lohan Wanker

Posted in:Elisha Cuthbert|Hot|Mom Jeans|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – Leelee Sobieski is a Clown of the Day

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I saw these pictures and wasn’t going to bother posting them, because they are dull as shit, but the joke in them is that she’s at a Cirque du Soleil event dressed like a fucking circus performer, but not the kind you’d actually see at Cirque du Soleil doing their crazy acrobatic dances that you find absolutely breathtaking because you’re a homo, or the kind you’d find in some freakshow, even though she’s tall as fuck, but because her hipster lesbian shoes look a lot like something her Polish grandmother probably wore in the 30’s where she picked up juggling and joined a traveling carnival. The same juggling skills she used to impress the the Nazis so they wouldn’t kill her, allowing her to come to America allowing Leelee to have such a prosperous career or some shit.

But I am just guessing here….me and Leelee aren’t as tight as her obnoxious tights, so I don’t know the real story, but I do know she’s got stupid fuckin’ shoes and that’s all that matters to me while dying on my computer today, even though I think I may still be drunk…and I love being drunk…

Related Posts:

Leelee Sobieski Tits at an Event
Leelee Sobieski Boring Halloween
Leelee Sobieski PVC
Leelee Sobieski Cleavage

Posted in:Clown|Leelee Sobieski|Legs|Tall|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Nipple of the Day

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I got these pics off some virgin’s site who thinks there’s nipple in them, but I don’t see nipple, maybe you have to have some virgin super desperation “computer eye” to see her nipple, kinda like a homeless man who thinks he finds a thanksgiving feasts in the dumpster when shit’s just garbage or a how a drunk horny motherfucker thinks the bitch he’s talking to is worth fucking when she’s really got testicles or maybe how everyone on welfare goes to the casino on welfare check day in hopes of winning big but instead end up broker than when they walked in ….if you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because you’re already jerking off to these because you think you see nipple.

In reality, I am more concerned with her legs being wrapped in Christmas Wrapping paper, shit makes me want to unwrap her with my penis but that’s just an old Martinez family tradition….At least I know I’d be getting her herpes, because I hear it’s the gift that keeps on giving, which is a lot better than the can of creamed corn my wife got me last year, when I clearly asked her for a divorce and a couple younger hotter girls to replace her.

But that’s not the point, I am fucking hungover, I think I drank enough to kill a cow, too bad I didn’t bring my out wife with me….get it…cuz she’s fat…and I hate her, yeah this is what happens when I’m licking my vodka smelling sweat in hopes of making this alcohol withdrawal less shaky.


Related Posts:

Lohan’s Got Hot Tits
Lohan Touching Her Toes
Lohan Parties Like a Lesbian in Japan
Lohan’s Tit in a Bra

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Nipples|Unsorted

2007

09

Nov

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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It’s finally happened. I have fallen in love with one of my readers, that header picture isn’t of her. The only problem is that her email has the word tranny in it, but she is hot, 18 and from Poland. She’s a virgin an told me she wants to have my baby. I don’t know if trannies can have my baby, but I am willing to try because she looks so good that even if she was a tranny, I could look past that. I keep having visions of me living in a shit whole in eastern Europe, rockin’ a wife beater and listening polka music, eating potatoes, while she does my laundry in the sink and we talk about how the war has changed us….

Either way, my site and my computer have Aids. I haven’t figured out who gave it to who, but I can only blame Magic Johnson.

Here are my links:

O Face or Dancing With the Stars Face?
GO

Amanda puts her legs behind her head…Because she can!
GO

Watch the New Kim Kardashian Trailer then Buy the Movie with 1 Hour More Footage of Her Getting Fucked
GO

Some Dude Cums From a Lap Dance Video
GO

Kate Moss in a See Through Dress
GO

Britney Buys a Benz in a See Through Shirt
GO

Dog the Bounty Hunter’s New Job
GO

Miranda here is trying to “make it” in the modeling industry…
GO

Some Hot Chick Named Juliana Martins Does a Photoshoot for Zink Magazine…This is the VIdeo
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Hayden Panettiere in Some Yoga Pants….
GO

Some Amazing Teen on Camera
GO

Some Dude Gets His Eye Tattooed
GO

A Book Oprah Recommended Turns Out to have Been Written By a White Supremacist
GO

Goldie Hawn is a Fucking Wreck Who I’d Still Fuck
GO

J.Lo’s Pregnancy Confirmation Video Because You’re a Closet J.Lo Fan….
GO

Justin Timberlake Singed This Youtube Singin Slut to His Label, She’d Be Better Off Doing the Soulja Boy Dance, Like Everyone Else…I Wish My Life Was That Easy….
GO

Some Arab Driver Rolls Down the Highway on 2 Wheels
GO

Nicole Kidman is Pretty Scary Looking…
GO

Gemma Atkinson has Huge Tits in Lingerie
GO

Some Alessandra Ambrosio Lookin’ Good in some Ad
GO

Some Male Phone Sex Operators Viral
GO

Kellie Picker’s Fake Tits at the CMA’s
GO

Some Christina Ricci in Red Lookin Good
GO

3 Chicks Take a Bath Together
GO

Amazing Race Star Naked!!!
GO

Some Chick from the Office Singing About Pussy and Posing in Vintage Lingerie
GO

Rumer Willis Lookin’ Ugly with Cleavage Because That’s the Only Look She Knows….
GO

Irv Gotti Runs a Record Label and Talks About How The Internet is Fucking Him Up the Ass
GO

Jay-Z’s Roc Boys Video
GO

Exclusive Pics of Conan Hanging With His Stalker
GO

Remember Kim Kardashian is in Playboy
GO

Nothing Says Classy Like a Champagne Cork to the Balls…
GO

Drunken Bellyflop Off The Roof and To The Ground
GO

The Whore Stewardess Who Banged Ralph Fiennes in the Plane Got Cast in “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here”…So Remember Girls, All It Takes to Be Famous is to Bang an Actor in a Plane
GO

Tom Cruise Paid Katie Holmes 600 Million Dollars to be His Wife…That’s Not a Very Good Deal….I Think She’s Only Worth About $5
GO

Shakira Lookin’ Hot and Showing Off Her Ass When She Was 16
GO

Some Asian Girl Does a Booty Dance in Booty Shorts
GO

Crackhead Sex Picture of the Day
GO

A Plastic Surgeon Confirms that Jewel Has Not Had Implants
GO

Some Made in China Toys Have GHB In Them….You Coulda Used Them To Get Your Next Date. Creep.
GO

Lohan Lookin’ Hot in Boots
GO

Some Kids Blow Up a Pumpkin
GO

Some Photobucket Nudity
GO

Lesbian Porn Moment With 2 Hot Chicks Goin’ At Each Other
GO

Spy Cam Massage Doesn’t Do Too Well
GO

From the Forum:

Download the Bee Gees Greatest Hits
GO

Download the Mickey Avalon Self Titled CD
GO

Download Korn Live and Rare If You’re Into Korn….
GO

Download Some Killers Albums
GO

Download Some Collective Soul Album Cuz You are Gay
GO

Download – Stephen Colbert – I am America (And So Can You)
GO

Some Chick Named Claudia Lizaldi’s Spread in Some Magazine Lookin’ Hot
GO

Some Hot Sluts Dirty Pictures
GO

Chicks Getting Crazy on a Lake
GO

Some Chick Named Beatrix’s Personal Naughty Pics
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

08

Nov

I am – Trying to Entertain Karter the Party Slut of the Day

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So I read my comments on the Jordan winning the ultimate woman post, which if you didn’t want to read, it said that it gives party sluts dreams to work towards instead of the unwanted pregnancies, gang bangs and winning the wet t-shirt contest they are used to.

Anyway this bitch wrote this comment:

Guess what?
Im fucking drunk and your not entertaining me so that fucking gay. whatever

So I checked out her myspace and wasn’t too surprised to find that she was an aspiring party slut and Jordan was probably one of her idols. I am sure she puts in a lot of her heart into this and predict that in about 25 pounds she will be one. Her passion to the cause is making her make all the right moves of getting drunk and ridiculous while showing off her tits and acting like a trashy slut. Unfortunately for her, she’s too drunk too realize that she doesn’t really have it going as much as she thinks she does, so the beer will keep being drunk and that 25 pounds may turn into 50, and that the only reason dudes talk to her is because she overcompensates by showing off with her big tits McDonalds gave her.

I am happy she loves herself so much that she is an alcoholic because I heard most alcoholic’s are really happy in their skin and they only drink to celebrate that fact and not to forget all the demons that rape them everyday. But remember eating disorders were invented for a reason, even if they may take away your number one asset, it may be worth looking into. I hate to rip on a bitch for being a chubby girl in slutty clothing, because let’s face it, she’s not nearly as fat as my wife, and I’d totally raw dog her, but I have no standards or money to afford a box of condoms to double up on that shit like I should.

Either way, I read this on her myspace and I assume this is what she reads to herself every night, it’s some positive affirmation shit of of a party slut that they use to convince themselves that they’ve got it going on:

Getting naughty with my body like a hottie should

Don’t call me ghetto gangsta cause Im from the hood

Thrownin down swift swagger with an attitude

If you had this kind of pimpin you would do it too

Here’s one of her third grade level poems, because education and reading isn’t something party sluts do:

choke

Remember that time
when I started to cry
not cause I was sad
cause you wouldnt die

you thought I was crazy
and I didnt deny
and you still stuck around
cause your a dumb guy

remember that night
when I tried to drug you
the fear in your eyes
you love the abuse

you thought it was funny
and it was just a joke
You liked all the pills
I dropped in your coke

you see that knife
and you know what it means
Im taking your life
Im crushing your dreams

the slashes look cool
like your someone special
how could someone you love
make you feel awful

stick around stick it out
next week will be better
I will be up
and you will be deader

Party slut Karter, I know you are drunk, but hope you entertained, because I’m workin’ for you here. Oh and remember that I just made you famous, Bitch.


Related Posts:

Check Her Out on Myspace
Some of the Other People I’ve Made Famous

Posted in:stepFAME|Unsorted

2007

08

Nov

I am – Jewel has Some Weird Cleavage of the Day

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Jewel is from Alaska. She is a woman of the wilderness, she lived in a log cabin and hunted bears. She fished and ran around in the snow barefoot. She climbed mountains, rolled around in the snow, her first boyfriend was a salmon who swam upstream…she took him under her hairy armpit and he made her cum harder than the ice dildos she was using before he came into her life….after Sammy the Salmon died, Jewel, in an emotional rage took a walk to California, where she launched her tree hugging, woman of the wilderness with an acoustic guitar in song career, that makes for amazing masturbation music, but apparently didn’t make her enough money to fix her disgusting teeth. Now she’s gone and married some Country Music Star and that motherfucker has ruined the one thing this woman of the wilderness had going for her and that’s her tits.

Like Sammy the Salmon, the fuckers have decomposed and have been given back to the land where they came from, which isn’t that big of a deal, because small tits are hot, but by the look of these fuckers, they are just empty skin sacs that hang off her body, like my wife’s clitoral hood that we haven’t been able to locate in 5 years because shits fuckin’ buried deep.

I guess the point of all this is to say that tits don’t make a woman. Vagina does. So as long as she’s still got her box, and her acoustic guitar, the only foolish game tearing you apart will be the fact that she would never give you the time of day, because you’re not as cool as her Country Star husband, and that’s pretty fuckin’ depressing…just look at him and you’re understand why…..


Related Posts:

Jewel’s Happy Marriage of the Day

Posted in:cleavage|Jewel|Tits|Unsorted