DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

26

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston's Small Bikini Showing Her Ass of the Day

Jennifer Aniston Small Bikini Clad Ass

I know Greek girls are supposed to have big child bearing asses and that’s why they take it up the ass so easily, so it’s possible that these Jennifer Aniston shots are some kind of optical illusion and she’s really rockin’ a XXL, but by the looks of it, she’s in a XXS and shit’s barely covering her ass. Maybe next time she’ll get it right and use the bikini bottoms to cover the real offensiveness in these pictures and that’s her face. I am talking busted down pick-up truck face that reminds me of last week’s kitchen garbage or maybe even an old catcher’s mitt, but her body is pretty banging and I do my best to not hate on bitches with hot bodies, even if they look like they were mauled by a bear when camping as a child or some shit…

I was out in some random club in some random town with some random people. I ended up there by getting in the car with people I didn’t really know and going for the ride because they were cool with taking me along with them and I was pretty tired of being downtown and ready for a change in the outskirts of hell. It turns out that the outskirts of hell attracts a hell of a lot of slutty looking girls who like talking to random people, not so much me because I look like an overweight mountain man and chicks that have bleached hair and fake tits and halter tops get enough of that at work when old men like me pay them 10 dollars a song to grab their tits…Either way, at one point in the night these 3 ugly chicks all with fake tits were doing shots in the corner. I wanted to join in but they weren’t having it but I did get to listen to their conversation and all they were talking about were their fake tits, how many CCs they had in each, who their doctor was, whether they had sensation back and all this fake tit shit. It was like seeing three guys with the same car randomly meet in the shopping center parking lot and start comparing their engines…..

Aniston may not have fake tits, but she does have hot tits, and that’s pretty much the end of this post. I’d ask for your feedback, but I really don’t give a fuck about what you think. Asshole.

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Bikini Top Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures…
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple

2007

26

Aug

I am – Miss Teen USA Answers a Question

8 Comments »

Since this is going around the internet like AIDS in the Gay Community and 15 people emailed it to me, when I only have 5 readers, I figured I would post it for some hot Sunday entertainment. It is Miss South Carolina answering some question in some insanely stupid way…because let’s face it looks are everything, not everyone is as smart as they should be and some people get by because they are pretty and clueless and in reality ignorance is bliss and she’s a hell of a lot happier than all of you fuckers and she’d never sleep with you, which is nothing new for you…..

Posted in:Unsorted|viral

2007

24

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

2 Comments »

It’s always hard for me to write on Friday afternoons, mostly because I know a night of booze, drugs and debauchery awaits me, and sitting in front the computer posting for all 4 of you reading out there doesn’t make it come any faster, you know?

It looks like it’s going to be an action packed night for me full of bars, and revisits to strip clubs after our busted last attempt earlier this week.You, on the other hand, will be curled up with your childhood blankie, lotion in one hand, small penis in the other, tissues on the bed side table.

Don’t cry, click these links, it will make the hurting stop.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

A Little Topless News For You Pervert…
GO

Sienna Miller is a Slut
GO

How to: Make your friend think they owe the government 1000’s of dollars
GO

Jelena is Some Slut Posing in Some Slutty Outfits…
GO

Savana Samson’s New Business Venture is Too Classy for a Slut…
GO

Some Insane Stunts on Motorbikes and Other Motorized Machines
GO

Amy Winehouse is living the dream
GO

Crackheads are funny
GO

Adriana Volpe is topless
GO

Scooter versus car
GO

Fucking Machines
GO

Jessica Alba has one fine, fine ass
GO

Paris will have her revenge
GO

Beautiful thong
GO

Lego Indiana Jones
GO

Keeley Hazell like whoa!!!
GO

Obvious Lie
GO

Dick on Fire
GO

Playing with gasoline is fun
GO

Vintage Conan O’Brian
GO

Eva Longwhore-ia is a whiner
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Porn of the Moment = Feed me Your Cream
GO

Britney’s Kids – Mr Vick is our hero!!!
GO

Heather Graham in a Red Sox Bra. This may be old, I don’t give a shit
GO

Pete Wentz looking like a girl
GO

Tera Patrick porn boobs
GO

The people of Malaysia think Beyonce is a slut. So do I
GO

How low can YOU go?
GO

Pole dancers cat fight
GO

Beach boogie face plant
GO

Lohan spoof video
GO

Jimmy Kimmel can be funny. Who knew?
GO

Celebrity porn announcement
GO

Crackhead gets slapped
GO

Nicole Richie serves 2 hours of her four day sentence. Now THATS justice!
GO

Abby Winter Limo Girls
GO

Kirsten Dunst got robbed. Ha Ha
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Chick Named Baybe Blue Does Photobucket
GO

This is a song for celebrities who can’t drive…called Hire a Driver….
GO

Some Stupid Dude Who Wants to be a Musician Sings Some Stupid Song
GO

Woman Sets Fire to Ex-Husband’s Penis
GO

British Dwarf’s Penis Gets Stuck in a Vaccuum
GO

You Need These Porn Reviews To Tell You Where to Jerk Off
GO

Some Dude’s Wife Naked on Flickr…
GO

Paula Abdul Still has a Boyfriend
GO

Sex After Plastic Surgery Forum…Read This Sex After Labiaplasty…
GO

Kristen Bell is a Whore
GO

Do You Know What You’re Daughter is Up To?
GO

Find Sex In Your Hometown
GO

Use This Spray to Get Laid
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse’s Bra of the Day

No Comments »

This bitch is a wreck and that’s why I like her. She reminds me of most of the hookers I could afford when hookers was my hobby and there’s just something so irresistible about a bitch who’s hooked on drugs. I don’t know if it’s her emaciated body that makes her head look like a bobble head or whether it’s the smell of her unclean panties or if it’s the fact that bitch will do anything for a hit and that usually leads to cheap fucking blowjobs..

I was at a bar the other day and I met some 60 year old woman who was really into herself and thought she looked fucking awesome. She was telling me how most people think she looked 45 and expected me to agree, but I didn’t bother. She went on to tell me that she had just been released from the psych ward because her 2 kids committed her. When I asked her if she was crazy she said it was all a misunderstanding and that her daughter was just out to get her. She told me that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she was all twitchy and jacked on meds, and looked like she was about to cry. Whenever I tried to change the subject, because I don’t really give a fuck about some senior citizen’s insanity, she kept bringing it up and saying how she missed her kids and grandkids. After about an hour of this, she pulled out a bag of meth and offered me a hit, I said no because I got enough fucking problems, but at the same time thought it was so hot to see someone that old rockin’ out so cool, because like I said there’s nothing hotter than a bitch with an addiction, no matter what age they are, or what mental problems they have….

Either way, here she is yesterday carrying a picture of herself, with her bra poking through because you love her……

Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day
Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Meth Skin of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Bra|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Amy Winehouse's Bra of the Day

No Comments »

This bitch is a wreck and that’s why I like her. She reminds me of most of the hookers I could afford when hookers was my hobby and there’s just something so irresistible about a bitch who’s hooked on drugs. I don’t know if it’s her emaciated body that makes her head look like a bobble head or whether it’s the smell of her unclean panties or if it’s the fact that bitch will do anything for a hit and that usually leads to cheap fucking blowjobs..

I was at a bar the other day and I met some 60 year old woman who was really into herself and thought she looked fucking awesome. She was telling me how most people think she looked 45 and expected me to agree, but I didn’t bother. She went on to tell me that she had just been released from the psych ward because her 2 kids committed her. When I asked her if she was crazy she said it was all a misunderstanding and that her daughter was just out to get her. She told me that her family wanted nothing to do with her, and she was all twitchy and jacked on meds, and looked like she was about to cry. Whenever I tried to change the subject, because I don’t really give a fuck about some senior citizen’s insanity, she kept bringing it up and saying how she missed her kids and grandkids. After about an hour of this, she pulled out a bag of meth and offered me a hit, I said no because I got enough fucking problems, but at the same time thought it was so hot to see someone that old rockin’ out so cool, because like I said there’s nothing hotter than a bitch with an addiction, no matter what age they are, or what mental problems they have….

Either way, here she is yesterday carrying a picture of herself, with her bra poking through because you love her……

Amy Winehouse’s Dirty Underwear of the Day
Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Prison Tattoos of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Nipples and Meth Skin of the Day
Amy Winehouse’s Meth Addict Before and After of the Day

Posted in:Addict|Amy Winehouse|Bra|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol’s Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage

Posted in:cleavage|Rachel Nichols|stepSTALKER|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Rachel Nichol's Has Hot Tits of the Day

3 Comments »

Rachel Nichols Cleavage

I am not sure who this bitch is, but her name is Rachel Nichols and I liked her tits so I decided to post them…

Speaking of unimportant, no name cunts who are trying to break into the scene, I found this bitch named Lauren Hastings on Facebook. She’s the girl who cried about how Lohan stole her clothes or some shit in efforts to get more famous and more shitty modeling jobs…I was talking to her on myspace a while ago trying to get some inside scoop because I am a sleuth detective like that and she wasn’t having it….It turned out that she was DJ AM’s girlfriend after Nicole Richie and has had sex with him despite him being gayer than bicycle shorts….or paddle-surfing….

Either way, I sent her this message

so this girl who has been trying to write the site turns on her webcam and starts masturbating with a vibrator in all kinds of positions til she cums, takes a cigarette break then starts sucking the vibrator off for like an hour and I don’t know what to do because I am kinds tired so I just leave it on in the background and write the occassional “Oh My God…This is Nuts”…then she shoves in back in her for round two and makes herself cum again….

if you’re wondering why i am telling you this….it’s because she’s 5 ft 11 was a model, and since you’re a model for Old Navy, I was like wow – two models in one day spoke to me …. what are the chances….

so she wrote:

fuck off

So I wrote:

why are you being so rude. I thought we were friends. Are you turning against me? Is it because I want to steal your dirty panties like I was Lohan?

I’ll keep sending you messages baby because I know deep down inside you like them, maybe we can do an interview about DJ AM’s dick or something…

Cuddles,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Now here are some pictures of this Rachel Nichols’ tits….

Related Posts:

stepSTALKER is my Best Feature
Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Milk Filled Cleavage
Jennifer Esposito’s Almost Cleavage
Leah Remini’s Scientology Cleavage
Amy Adam’s Cleavage

2007

24

Aug

I am – Fat Man and a Little Girl of the Day

No Comments »

This video would probably be more funny if I claimed he was a pedophile, and just picked this little girl up by convincing her he has lost his dog and needs her to find it…and then made a joke about him taking her home to have his way with her while her parents looked around frantically for her. Even I have limits however, and though I don’t mind joking about things like AIDS babies and cancer, I think thats a bit too far.

My real guess is fatty here is her Grampa, and he’s taking her out for lunch and ice cream, followed by a day at the park, were he will push her on the swing set while she squeals “Higher Grampa higher!!!” He will drop her off at home back into the arms of her loving parents and give her a big Grampa hug before he goes back home.

It makes me pretty sad to watch actually, because it’s one of those things I never got to experience as a child, along with Christmas presents and clothes that weren’t found in garbage bags on the side of the street.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

24

Aug

I am – Pam Anderson’s Vagina Puppy of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson with something fuzzy between her legs, and I am not talking about the fungal infection or the obvious STD Joke that you should insert here, I am talking about her little puppy. I am kind of upset that shit’s not a cat so that this post could write itself but I guess the powers that be hate me, but I could have probably told you that before these pictures came out because if you look at my life, it pretty much seems like god took a shit on me when I was born, but enough about me.

Life worked out a lot better for Pam Anderson, she was destined to be a stripper but for some reason she had some kind of golden horseshoe in her ass as part of her stage-show and some asshole from LA who happened to watch her going at herself one end in the cooch the other in the ass was like “This bitch has that it factor” and recruited her to be a lightweight stripper, lightweight pornstar and all-american dream…

I met a stripper with a dream yesterday, and that dream was to make 450 dollars in her shift. She came up to us saying she was 6 songs away from her objective. When I asked her what the hell she did with 450 dollars a day because to me that’s an insane amount of money, she said she supported her boyfriend, bought clothes and partied….I didn’t end up taking her in the back, because I don’t have that kind of budget, but I have a dream too and that dream is to have her boyfriend’s job.

Either way, here are some Pam Anderson with a dog between her legs, covering up her old rotting body because she cares about the people and about expediting an already dying career. I don’t know if expedite is a word but i used it anyway cuz I am fucking crazy. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in Short Shorts
Pam Anderson in a Short Dress
Pam Anderson Parties in a Hooters Uniform
Pam Anderson Bikini Action
Pam Anderson’s Nipple and Ass in a Bikini

2007

24

Aug

I am – Pam Anderson's Vagina Puppy of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of Pam Anderson with something fuzzy between her legs, and I am not talking about the fungal infection or the obvious STD Joke that you should insert here, I am talking about her little puppy. I am kind of upset that shit’s not a cat so that this post could write itself but I guess the powers that be hate me, but I could have probably told you that before these pictures came out because if you look at my life, it pretty much seems like god took a shit on me when I was born, but enough about me.

Life worked out a lot better for Pam Anderson, she was destined to be a stripper but for some reason she had some kind of golden horseshoe in her ass as part of her stage-show and some asshole from LA who happened to watch her going at herself one end in the cooch the other in the ass was like “This bitch has that it factor” and recruited her to be a lightweight stripper, lightweight pornstar and all-american dream…

I met a stripper with a dream yesterday, and that dream was to make 450 dollars in her shift. She came up to us saying she was 6 songs away from her objective. When I asked her what the hell she did with 450 dollars a day because to me that’s an insane amount of money, she said she supported her boyfriend, bought clothes and partied….I didn’t end up taking her in the back, because I don’t have that kind of budget, but I have a dream too and that dream is to have her boyfriend’s job.

Either way, here are some Pam Anderson with a dog between her legs, covering up her old rotting body because she cares about the people and about expediting an already dying career. I don’t know if expedite is a word but i used it anyway cuz I am fucking crazy. Cuddles.

Related Posts:

Pam Anderson in Short Shorts
Pam Anderson in a Short Dress
Pam Anderson Parties in a Hooters Uniform
Pam Anderson Bikini Action
Pam Anderson’s Nipple and Ass in a Bikini