DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

21

Aug

I am – China Dancer of the Day

To make up for my last stepTV clip of what seemed like a girl dancing with a snake but was really some ladyboy with fake tits, I decided to post this video of real girl at the same club dancing pretty much the same way but without a snake to balance the homosexuality on this site out a little.

I just got in an email war with some asshole who I was trying to get to advertise on the site because I am tired of being so poor. He told me that he didn’t need to advertise with me because he’s a huge site and my piece of shit site won’t do anything for him but cost him money and that he’d rather flush money down the toilet than give it to me because he would find that more gratifying….that’s how successful motherfucker says he is. So I wrote him back calling him a cocksucker at least 15 times because I find calling people a cocksucker funny and he wrote me back saying that anyone who uses the word cocksucker as much as I do must be a fag….My response is that i wanted to feel him inside me, because if you call me gay, I have no problem acting the part even though I am into pussy, doesn’t mean I can’t pretend I am fag…kinda the same thing as when you pretend that you’re straight even though you jerk off to gay porn all the time…but a little different because I actually like girls and don’t have to pretend I do…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D’Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

3 Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

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Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Caroline D'Amore Bikini Cameltoe of the Day

No Comments »

This is another one of Paris Hilton’s guests at her weekend beach party. Her name is Caroline D’Amore, her parents own a pizza restaurant and she is 23 years old. I did my research on her because she looks like she’s fucking 12 and even if that shit turns you on, I don’t want to go to jail for being a child pornographer because I hear they cut you in prison for that shit, and I don’t find that shit too sexy, I am more on the parents against pedophiles side of the argument you boylover.

Reality is that I always loved those teen models who were in their 20s but pretended they were teens to get people like you off. It reminded me of Peter Pan and this girl I used to bang who was 10 years older than me but looked 10 years younger than me. I guess she was the runt of the litter or someshit, and when she was in highschool and looked 7 no one wanted a piece, but when she was 27 and looked 17 the tables fucking turned proper. That’s the problem with over-developed teen girls, they all end up getting fat when the skinny awkward ones fill out the way they’re supposed to.

Either way, I used to look at their sites because I had nothing better to do and the alternative was looking at haggard sluts with their uterus’ hanging out of their cunts so innocent and fresh was more of a fantasy than old and washed up because you always want what you don’t have.

I guess what I am getting at is that when they are 23, they are fair game and when they have their boyfriend’s name tattooed next to their cunt, they are stupid enough to end up with a guy like you, so keep the faith motherfucker…

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures

2007

21

Aug

I am – Sienna Miller Topless Beach of the Day

No Comments »

I just got back from having lunch with a group of highschool girls because that’s what I do for fun. They were telling me all about their sexual adventures and I was blaming the growth hormones in the milk for their naughtiness.

Either way, I got home and feel like I am dying, but came across these Sienna Miller topless beach pictures and figured I’d post them because you’re more into pictures of topless girls you’ve seen topless at least 20 times more than you care about horny teens and their sexcapades….

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Posted in:Beach|Sienna Miller|Topless|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin’ in a Sports Bra of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

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2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin' in a Sports Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

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2007

21

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

I was told yesterday that I write too much. I don’t think I do. I just tell stories when they come to me and I don’t tell stories when they don’t come to me. If you don’t want to read the post then you don’t have, no one really does but emailing me telling me to write a shitty paragraph on the person I am posting about, when I don’t give a fuck about the person I am posting about in the first place is not really my thing, but I decided to try out a couple of one paragraph potential posts for these Jennifer Aniston in a bikini top paddle surfing like the useless cunt that she is….as an exercise in making your experience on this site that much better, if that is even possible…and this is me accommodating….

One Paragraph Post #1

Jennifer Who?Niston….I haven’t heard this name since her famous heartthrob husband left her for a hollywood bad girl. Well here she is trying to reclaim some of her fame and to remind some of her fans from the Friends-era that she’s still got tits by getting into her bikini. And we’re not complaining. I can only assume that her fit older-lady body stops at her ass and isn’t 100 percent where it should be because otherwise she wouldn’t have ruined this experience with those stupid shorts….

One Paragraph Post #2

Jennifer Aniston was out in Hawaii with her only friends, Courtney Cox and David Arquette and she decided to try out the gayest fucking sport since DJ AM called paddle surfing. Shit’s like wheelchair basketball or blind person dodgeball or some other modified sports for people with disabilities, only the disability that people who paddlesurf have is thinking that they are Huckleberry Finn. I guess all that doesn’t matter because Aniston is rocking a bikini top and we know we love bikini tops, and a girl could pretty much do anything in a bikini top and we’ll still look because we are fucking virgins who have never seen a girl in a bikini in real life….well except for maybe that one time in summer camp, but you were 12.

Anyway you dice it, I still wrote more than I would have in writing one of my stories, only now I feel more like a virgin than when I was 13 and this 20 year old retarded girl tried to get me to fuck her and I didn’t know what to do so I just shoved it in between her fat thighs until I dry came and ran away scared that she was going to eat me or something because she totally looked like a monster…..Jennifer Aniston reminds me of that girl with her big ol’ head…..and this post was a fucking failure…

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Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Paddlesurf|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I was talking to a girl I know about Vaginal Reduction surgery because she was fascinated with the concept, not because she needs it but because she thought it was so twisted that people are so vain that they would do that to themselves…When I told her that it was always my dream to be a Labia Reduction doctor because it would be the closest feeling to god I could have, she hung up on me. So I decided to surf the internet and find you these links…

Lilly Allen and Lesbian Samantha Ronson Hanging Out Together…
GO

Britney Spears Ass Exposed
GO

Jenna Jameson Half Naked on the Catwalk
GO

Elsa Benitez Dancing Around for Sports Illustrated in a Bikini
GO

Drunk Chick Puts Her Legs Behind Her Head on a Blind Date Video
GO

The Dude from Superbad on Some Hipster Photographer Rich Kid’s Site
GO

Jessica Alba Walking Her Dogs…
GO

Star Jones Lookin’ Better Than Ever
GO

Sienna Miller’s Hot Pepe Ads
GO

Rihanna’s Breasts Exploding Out Of Her Shirt on Stage
GO

Nicole Kidman had a Rough Weekend
GO

Katie Price Tits at Her Perfume Launch
GO

Luba – the Hot Bodied Slut Picks Oranges…
GO

600 Naked People Protest for the Environment on an Iceberg…
GO

Spencer Tunick’s Pictures From the 600 Naked Person Protest
GO

Pet Camel Kills Some Australian Chick When It Tried to Fuck Her
GO

Psycho GIrl Shoots off a Gun Then Freaks Out On the Cops
GO

Drunk Sluts Dancing on a Yacht
GO

Victoria Beckham With Her Kids
GO

Pete Doherty Gets Arrested Again…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Hayden Panettiere’s Got Saddle-Bags in Her Bikini A Bad Sign for a Barely 18 Year Old….
GO

Semi-Hot Norwegian Stripper Lookin’ Bitch With Fake Tits Remakes Beyonce’s Survivor….
GO

Some Girl and Her Crazy Nipple Shirt
GO

Nude Art Competition
GO

Vivica and Her Forehead are Out and About
GO

Raquel Gibson is some Hot Chick Who’s All Naked
GO

Spike Jonez Spends the Day with M.I.A.
GO

Justin Timberlake is Cheating on His Boyfriend Jessica Biel
GO

Insane Gymnast Pulls off a Crazy Sequence of Flips
GO

The Celebrity Quote Game
GO

Some Huge Tit Video
GO

Sluts at a 6 Man Volleyball Tournament…
GO

Hip Hop Meets the Violin
GO

Avril Lavigne in some Sexy Photoshoot – If That’s Even Possible…
GO

Jessica Biel in Some Short Dress…If You Like Men in Dresses…Which You Do…
GO

Aerial Bowfishing is Some Kind of Weird Way to Fish
GO

Diet Coke Spokesperson of the Day
GO

Girl Rides some Kind of Fucking Machine
GO

Some Burlesque Chick Performing for the Camera Video
GO

Blowjob from Hell
GO

Anal Sex Attempt on Some Drunk Girl – NSFW
GO

Teri Hatcher Slutting It Out As the Cougar of the Day
GO

How to Beat Your Wife Video
GO

My stepdaughter fucks guys who use this spray to get laid…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Asian Dance of One of the Day

1 Comment »

I always wanted to be the kind of guy who just broke into dance any chance I could, you know walking down the street or shopping for Adult Diapers for my wife and just start busting a move to the music in my head, but I am too cynical to even dance at my stepdaughters wedding when she asks me for the bride and father of the bride dance, not that my stepdaughter will ever get married, she’s too much of whore for that, I have dreams of her having illegitimate kids and unwanted pregnancy and instability in her relationships as she moves from one cock to another….

There was a time when I used to get drunk and get down….then I realized that dancing is for faggots who listen to Britney Spears and girls never go for the good dancer, they go for the guy who laughs at the good dancer…..

I was at some park event yesterday where a lot of spill-over from the after-hours club were rockin’ out, still high to the shitty music they were playing and that reaffirmed my stance that dancing is for queers….unless your middle-aged and Chinese….

Watch the video…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon’s Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…

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Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted