DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

21

Aug

I am – Sienna Miller Topless Beach of the Day

I just got back from having lunch with a group of highschool girls because that’s what I do for fun. They were telling me all about their sexual adventures and I was blaming the growth hormones in the milk for their naughtiness.

Either way, I got home and feel like I am dying, but came across these Sienna Miller topless beach pictures and figured I’d post them because you’re more into pictures of topless girls you’ve seen topless at least 20 times more than you care about horny teens and their sexcapades….

Related Posts:

Sienna Miller’s Nipples on the Set
Sienna Miller Nipple Slip
Sienna Miller 17 Modeling
Sienna Topless and Vagina Definition

Posted in:Beach|Sienna Miller|Topless|Unsorted

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin’ in a Sports Bra of the Day

9 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

2007

21

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Joggin' in a Sports Bra of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Related Posts:
Mena Suvari Showing Her Ass Off
Mena Suvari in a Bikini
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Again
Mena Suvari in a Bikini Top

2007

21

Aug

I am – Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

I was told yesterday that I write too much. I don’t think I do. I just tell stories when they come to me and I don’t tell stories when they don’t come to me. If you don’t want to read the post then you don’t have, no one really does but emailing me telling me to write a shitty paragraph on the person I am posting about, when I don’t give a fuck about the person I am posting about in the first place is not really my thing, but I decided to try out a couple of one paragraph potential posts for these Jennifer Aniston in a bikini top paddle surfing like the useless cunt that she is….as an exercise in making your experience on this site that much better, if that is even possible…and this is me accommodating….

One Paragraph Post #1

Jennifer Who?Niston….I haven’t heard this name since her famous heartthrob husband left her for a hollywood bad girl. Well here she is trying to reclaim some of her fame and to remind some of her fans from the Friends-era that she’s still got tits by getting into her bikini. And we’re not complaining. I can only assume that her fit older-lady body stops at her ass and isn’t 100 percent where it should be because otherwise she wouldn’t have ruined this experience with those stupid shorts….

One Paragraph Post #2

Jennifer Aniston was out in Hawaii with her only friends, Courtney Cox and David Arquette and she decided to try out the gayest fucking sport since DJ AM called paddle surfing. Shit’s like wheelchair basketball or blind person dodgeball or some other modified sports for people with disabilities, only the disability that people who paddlesurf have is thinking that they are Huckleberry Finn. I guess all that doesn’t matter because Aniston is rocking a bikini top and we know we love bikini tops, and a girl could pretty much do anything in a bikini top and we’ll still look because we are fucking virgins who have never seen a girl in a bikini in real life….well except for maybe that one time in summer camp, but you were 12.

Anyway you dice it, I still wrote more than I would have in writing one of my stories, only now I feel more like a virgin than when I was 13 and this 20 year old retarded girl tried to get me to fuck her and I didn’t know what to do so I just shoved it in between her fat thighs until I dry came and ran away scared that she was going to eat me or something because she totally looked like a monster…..Jennifer Aniston reminds me of that girl with her big ol’ head…..and this post was a fucking failure…

Related Posts:

Jennifer Aniston Throwback Bikini Pictures
Jennifer Aniston’s Nipple of the Day
Jennifer Garner Paddlesurfs of the Day

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Aniston|Paddlesurf|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I was talking to a girl I know about Vaginal Reduction surgery because she was fascinated with the concept, not because she needs it but because she thought it was so twisted that people are so vain that they would do that to themselves…When I told her that it was always my dream to be a Labia Reduction doctor because it would be the closest feeling to god I could have, she hung up on me. So I decided to surf the internet and find you these links…

Lilly Allen and Lesbian Samantha Ronson Hanging Out Together…
GO

Britney Spears Ass Exposed
GO

Jenna Jameson Half Naked on the Catwalk
GO

Elsa Benitez Dancing Around for Sports Illustrated in a Bikini
GO

Drunk Chick Puts Her Legs Behind Her Head on a Blind Date Video
GO

The Dude from Superbad on Some Hipster Photographer Rich Kid’s Site
GO

Jessica Alba Walking Her Dogs…
GO

Star Jones Lookin’ Better Than Ever
GO

Sienna Miller’s Hot Pepe Ads
GO

Rihanna’s Breasts Exploding Out Of Her Shirt on Stage
GO

Nicole Kidman had a Rough Weekend
GO

Katie Price Tits at Her Perfume Launch
GO

Luba – the Hot Bodied Slut Picks Oranges…
GO

600 Naked People Protest for the Environment on an Iceberg…
GO

Spencer Tunick’s Pictures From the 600 Naked Person Protest
GO

Pet Camel Kills Some Australian Chick When It Tried to Fuck Her
GO

Psycho GIrl Shoots off a Gun Then Freaks Out On the Cops
GO

Drunk Sluts Dancing on a Yacht
GO

Victoria Beckham With Her Kids
GO

Pete Doherty Gets Arrested Again…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Hayden Panettiere’s Got Saddle-Bags in Her Bikini A Bad Sign for a Barely 18 Year Old….
GO

Semi-Hot Norwegian Stripper Lookin’ Bitch With Fake Tits Remakes Beyonce’s Survivor….
GO

Some Girl and Her Crazy Nipple Shirt
GO

Nude Art Competition
GO

Vivica and Her Forehead are Out and About
GO

Raquel Gibson is some Hot Chick Who’s All Naked
GO

Spike Jonez Spends the Day with M.I.A.
GO

Justin Timberlake is Cheating on His Boyfriend Jessica Biel
GO

Insane Gymnast Pulls off a Crazy Sequence of Flips
GO

The Celebrity Quote Game
GO

Some Huge Tit Video
GO

Sluts at a 6 Man Volleyball Tournament…
GO

Hip Hop Meets the Violin
GO

Avril Lavigne in some Sexy Photoshoot – If That’s Even Possible…
GO

Jessica Biel in Some Short Dress…If You Like Men in Dresses…Which You Do…
GO

Aerial Bowfishing is Some Kind of Weird Way to Fish
GO

Diet Coke Spokesperson of the Day
GO

Girl Rides some Kind of Fucking Machine
GO

Some Burlesque Chick Performing for the Camera Video
GO

Blowjob from Hell
GO

Anal Sex Attempt on Some Drunk Girl – NSFW
GO

Teri Hatcher Slutting It Out As the Cougar of the Day
GO

How to Beat Your Wife Video
GO

My stepdaughter fucks guys who use this spray to get laid…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Asian Dance of One of the Day

1 Comment »

I always wanted to be the kind of guy who just broke into dance any chance I could, you know walking down the street or shopping for Adult Diapers for my wife and just start busting a move to the music in my head, but I am too cynical to even dance at my stepdaughters wedding when she asks me for the bride and father of the bride dance, not that my stepdaughter will ever get married, she’s too much of whore for that, I have dreams of her having illegitimate kids and unwanted pregnancy and instability in her relationships as she moves from one cock to another….

There was a time when I used to get drunk and get down….then I realized that dancing is for faggots who listen to Britney Spears and girls never go for the good dancer, they go for the guy who laughs at the good dancer…..

I was at some park event yesterday where a lot of spill-over from the after-hours club were rockin’ out, still high to the shitty music they were playing and that reaffirmed my stance that dancing is for queers….unless your middle-aged and Chinese….

Watch the video…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon’s Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…

Related Posts:

Paris Hilton Showin Off Tits
Paris Hilton Upskirt
Paris Hilton Nipple Slip of the Day
Paris Hilton Insane Cleavage

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon's Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…

Related Posts:

Paris Hilton Showin Off Tits
Paris Hilton Upskirt
Paris Hilton Nipple Slip of the Day
Paris Hilton Insane Cleavage

Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Bikini Top of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some more pictures of Mena Suvari in a bikini top because she likes to spend time on the beach and I like to post pictures of girls on the beach, because that is what my life has come to….

I am not going to say bitch is a dyke now that she’s shaved off all her head and bleached it blond, because I don’t think a shaved head makes a girl a lesbian, it just makes her look like one and that’s not enough proof for me to make fun of that.

I will say that I do have a thing for lesbians, not the lipstick kind who are basically hot girls that become even hotter because they don’t let dudes up in them and because they hate men so much they won’t even acknowledge our presence. I am into the full fledge hormonally masculine lesbians that sit around in their cargo pants and combat boots waiting to go shop for organic vegetables or to beat the fuck out of any man they see objectify a woman by ripping off their dicks and feeding it to them. The reason I like those kind of lesbians is because they hate guys like me and I guess you always like what you can’t have, like a lesbian friend to teach you how to bench press properly or how to tie that flannel shirt around your overalls so that you look mean….

The only real lesbian contact I ever had was in the 90s when every girl I dated got fed up with me after about a month and since I poorly represented men, then all turned dyke. For a while I was convinced that it was a curse I had. That I was such a bad fuck that they were turned off of men for life, so I just ran with that and used it as a pick-up line. I’d tell girls in bars that I had the power of turning them dyke and they found it so funny that they ended up taking me up on it to see if I really was as bad as I said I was….I never disappoint so I added more women to the lesbian population than all the dads who molested their daughters growing up and for that I’d like some kind of recognition on International Lesbian day….

Related Posts:

Mena Suvari Bikini Pictures
Mena Suvari Showing Off Her Ass
Mena Suvari Topless Beac

2007

20

Aug

I am – Michelle Rodriguez Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

I have a thing for White Bikinis because they usually go sheer when a girl gets wet and girls generally don’t realize when their white bikinis go sheer so that makes for a great opportunity to scope out her goods without her even noticing….

I don’t have a thing for women in men’s underwear. I once know a guy who used to love that shit before it became a popular, everyday thing. He would go to K-Mart and buy up as many pairs of action figure little kid underwear he could find for whoever he was banging at the time. I don’t know what it was that got him off, was it because he liked little boys or was it just because he liked girls dressed like little boys, and the reality of the situation was that no matter how you looked at it, it was pretty fucking creepy but then all of a sudden companies started releasing boy shorts made the exact same way as the briefs he used to love, so maybe I am the weird one…..

The other funny story about that guy was that when that girl dumped him he was so devastated that he went to a gay bar and let gay dudes buy him drinks because he was so caught up in her that when she broke his heart he wanted to go gay, but never did because it didn’t turn him on….even though I saw him years later at a club high on E getting rubbed down by an Asian dude…I guess that was the drugs talking and not his underlying homosexuality..but I have never let a man rub me down when high, I have however caught myself holding hands with guys when i am drunk for a longer amount of time than normally accepted socially, but I didn’t do that cuz I was into the dude, I did it because I was so drunk I appreciated the support so that I didn’t end up flat on my face….

Either way, no matter how you dice it, whether girl’s got a pussy or not, being into these Michelle Rodriguez pics is almost as gay as letting a man rub you down at a club while you’re high on E, even if it looks like she may have tits and her dick is nicely tucked away….

Related Posts:
Michelle Rodriguez is a Monkey in a Bikini
Michelle Rodriguez is a Primitive Human in a Bikini
Michelle Rodriguez shows off her Abs
Michelle Rodriguez Swims Drunk and Topless
Michelle Rodriguez Licks Her Armpit

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Nipples|Underwear|Unsorted