I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

20

Aug

I am – Paris Hitlon's Academy Award Bathing Suit of the Day

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Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….

I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….

Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…


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Posted in:Ass|Bathing Suit|Paris Hilton|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Mena Suvari Bikini Top of the Day

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Here are some more pictures of Mena Suvari in a bikini top because she likes to spend time on the beach and I like to post pictures of girls on the beach, because that is what my life has come to….

I am not going to say bitch is a dyke now that she’s shaved off all her head and bleached it blond, because I don’t think a shaved head makes a girl a lesbian, it just makes her look like one and that’s not enough proof for me to make fun of that.

I will say that I do have a thing for lesbians, not the lipstick kind who are basically hot girls that become even hotter because they don’t let dudes up in them and because they hate men so much they won’t even acknowledge our presence. I am into the full fledge hormonally masculine lesbians that sit around in their cargo pants and combat boots waiting to go shop for organic vegetables or to beat the fuck out of any man they see objectify a woman by ripping off their dicks and feeding it to them. The reason I like those kind of lesbians is because they hate guys like me and I guess you always like what you can’t have, like a lesbian friend to teach you how to bench press properly or how to tie that flannel shirt around your overalls so that you look mean….

The only real lesbian contact I ever had was in the 90s when every girl I dated got fed up with me after about a month and since I poorly represented men, then all turned dyke. For a while I was convinced that it was a curse I had. That I was such a bad fuck that they were turned off of men for life, so I just ran with that and used it as a pick-up line. I’d tell girls in bars that I had the power of turning them dyke and they found it so funny that they ended up taking me up on it to see if I really was as bad as I said I was….I never disappoint so I added more women to the lesbian population than all the dads who molested their daughters growing up and for that I’d like some kind of recognition on International Lesbian day….

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Posted in:Bald|Bikini|Mena Suvari|Tits|Top|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Michelle Rodriguez Bikini of the Day

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I have a thing for White Bikinis because they usually go sheer when a girl gets wet and girls generally don’t realize when their white bikinis go sheer so that makes for a great opportunity to scope out her goods without her even noticing….

I don’t have a thing for women in men’s underwear. I once know a guy who used to love that shit before it became a popular, everyday thing. He would go to K-Mart and buy up as many pairs of action figure little kid underwear he could find for whoever he was banging at the time. I don’t know what it was that got him off, was it because he liked little boys or was it just because he liked girls dressed like little boys, and the reality of the situation was that no matter how you looked at it, it was pretty fucking creepy but then all of a sudden companies started releasing boy shorts made the exact same way as the briefs he used to love, so maybe I am the weird one…..

The other funny story about that guy was that when that girl dumped him he was so devastated that he went to a gay bar and let gay dudes buy him drinks because he was so caught up in her that when she broke his heart he wanted to go gay, but never did because it didn’t turn him on….even though I saw him years later at a club high on E getting rubbed down by an Asian dude…I guess that was the drugs talking and not his underlying homosexuality..but I have never let a man rub me down when high, I have however caught myself holding hands with guys when i am drunk for a longer amount of time than normally accepted socially, but I didn’t do that cuz I was into the dude, I did it because I was so drunk I appreciated the support so that I didn’t end up flat on my face….

Either way, no matter how you dice it, whether girl’s got a pussy or not, being into these Michelle Rodriguez pics is almost as gay as letting a man rub you down at a club while you’re high on E, even if it looks like she may have tits and her dick is nicely tucked away….


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Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Nipples|Underwear|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Caleigh Peters in a Bikini of the Day

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So this bitch I’ve never heard of named Caleigh Peters was at Paris’ Malibu Beach party in a bikini. It turns out that her dad is some kind of K-Fed type who was the hairdresser to Barbara Streisand, started banging her ugly fucking face because no one else would and he saw the opportunity and that lead to him becoming executive producer of movies like Flashdance, Caddyshack, Rain Man, Batman, Ali, Superman returns and the list goes on and on….making him pretty fucking rich for some glorified man whore….

His daughter, the cunt you see in a bikini, is 19 and sings soundtrack songs in Disney movies and in her spare time, she lets assholes like Kimberly Stewart’s brother throw her around in the ocean outside of Paris Hilton’s Malibu Beach House where she seems to be having parties on a regular basis and invites people who are even less significant in the world than she is, which is saying a lot in how unimportant these people actually are.

I was walking down the street today and saw a set of twins shopping. They were probably identical twins, but one of them was significantly better looking than the other. Her tits were more perky, her face was less haggard, her body was more tones, her hair was healthier, it was like despite having the same genes, one was always having a good day and the other was always having a bad day look wise, where as normal people have good and bad days, this one twin pawned her bad days onto her sister. I got to thinking that being the ugly twin would be worse than being the ugly girl in the class, because in school there are always other ugly girls, but at home there is just you, and constantly being compared to a sister is probably hard enough as is, but constantly being compared to a sister who is pretty much you but hotter, is way more fucked up.

I don’t know where I am going with this, but I am convinced that my twin observation is probably just as dull as these pictures of some slut you’ve never heard of…..who looks like her mother may have been a monkey…and who hangs with 2 older assholes that are just trying to figure out a way to get her back to their family funded home to gangbang these whores…and show them what being F-List is all about…

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Posted in:Bikini|Caleigh Peters|D-List|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Estella Warren’s Thong of the Day

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This site is known for it’s cutting edge content, actually it is not known at all, but every time I post a picture of a celebrities thong, I feel like a total fucking virgin loser who actually hunts the internet for celebrity thongs, and that shit carries over to my everyday life. While I should be spending my time trying to seduce women into my van, I am instead sitting at home doing this bullshit. I think I would have been better off as a pornographer, at least that way I would have maintained some level of masculinity, instead of being the straight, boring, middle-aged mexican in the 25 and under homosexual and virgin club…but I guess I have no choice but to maintain and none of you want to hear my bitching, so here are some pictures of Estella Warren’s thong, because seeing underwear on a girl bending over in a store or parking lot in real life is the closest thing you’ve ever got to pussy, and since you don’t leave your house that often, reliving that moment here on some Canadian piece of shit model is pretty fucking awesome and I am really happy to have played such a pivotal role in your fucking useless day. Asshole.

Reality is that this could be of anyone, because I can’t see her fucking face so maybe getting spy pics of girls thongs and claiming they are celebrities is the next business venture I’ll take. These Estella Warren pics just inspired me…


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Posted in:Ass|Estella Warren|Panties|Thong|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Estella Warren's Thong of the Day

estella_warren_top.jpg

This site is known for it’s cutting edge content, actually it is not known at all, but every time I post a picture of a celebrities thong, I feel like a total fucking virgin loser who actually hunts the internet for celebrity thongs, and that shit carries over to my everyday life. While I should be spending my time trying to seduce women into my van, I am instead sitting at home doing this bullshit. I think I would have been better off as a pornographer, at least that way I would have maintained some level of masculinity, instead of being the straight, boring, middle-aged mexican in the 25 and under homosexual and virgin club…but I guess I have no choice but to maintain and none of you want to hear my bitching, so here are some pictures of Estella Warren’s thong, because seeing underwear on a girl bending over in a store or parking lot in real life is the closest thing you’ve ever got to pussy, and since you don’t leave your house that often, reliving that moment here on some Canadian piece of shit model is pretty fucking awesome and I am really happy to have played such a pivotal role in your fucking useless day. Asshole.

Reality is that this could be of anyone, because I can’t see her fucking face so maybe getting spy pics of girls thongs and claiming they are celebrities is the next business venture I’ll take. These Estella Warren pics just inspired me…


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Posted in:Ass|Estella Warren|Panties|Thong|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Crazy Fucking Cleavage of the Day

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Being the slowest site to update out there, I am sure you’ve seen all these pictures before, but it’s Monday so I don’t really give a fuck about giving you what you need and how fast you need it, I am still trying to wake the fuck up and deal with the fact that my life is pretty fucking shitty, especially when I am sitting here cropping pictures of a bitch with big tits, like it’s fucking newsworthy or relevant to the world.

I am more fascinated with milk filled tits than I am with fake tits, lucky for use Augilera has both since she’s knocked up and a highend stipper or pornstar who doesn’t need to fuck on camera or get naked on stage for some dude’s pocket change, she does it behind closed doors but she still has to live up to the image by getting fake tits, fake hair, fake tan, and a manager boyfriend type who is ready to exploit her the first chance he gets to make a dollar, because that’s just what his kind does….

I once knew a stripper who made breast milk a huge part of her act. The stripclub was in some small town in some barn and the girls were all pretty strong from working the fields all day and the pole all night. This one bitch they called Creamy Clementine would get on stage and hose the locals down with her tit milk from having numerous kids and a breast pump that kept shit going well into her 40s. Anyway, I originally didn’t understand why all the grown men were going crazy like she was the Kool Aid guy and she just broke through their highschool cafeteria wall, but they were fucking hooked. I am talking pushing each other down and beating each other up to get to the stream of milky goodness squirting out of her tit.

I never took part in this show because it grossed me out and I didn’t research what kind of diseases a diseased whore can spread through her tits so I just kept my curiosity at bay until this guy I knew with the hottest wife around asked me to babysit. I know asking a drunken pervert to babysit seems fucking weird, but I love kids and we had a good time, the only problem is that she had about 4 bottles of her milk set aside for the kid and I couldn’t help but taste it thinking about old Creamy Clementine from years before.

I got hooked and I drank all 4 bottles, shit was powerful and I needed more so I’d show up unexpected a couple times a week and down all the tit milk I could find….that was until they caught on and I was blacklisted from their home and banned as a friend of the family, but I still remember the smooth flavor that touched my lips and slowly dripped down my throat and every time I see a bitch with milk filled titties I get all excited to get a taste, for some reason asking for a taste never goes over as well as planned cuz girls just think you want to suck their tits and end up slapping you or having their husbands defend their honor, but I promise I’ve got good intentions….

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Posted in:Christina Aguilera|cleavage|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Christina Aguilera's Crazy Fucking Cleavage of the Day

christina_aguilera_tits_top.jpg

Being the slowest site to update out there, I am sure you’ve seen all these pictures before, but it’s Monday so I don’t really give a fuck about giving you what you need and how fast you need it, I am still trying to wake the fuck up and deal with the fact that my life is pretty fucking shitty, especially when I am sitting here cropping pictures of a bitch with big tits, like it’s fucking newsworthy or relevant to the world.

I am more fascinated with milk filled tits than I am with fake tits, lucky for use Augilera has both since she’s knocked up and a highend stipper or pornstar who doesn’t need to fuck on camera or get naked on stage for some dude’s pocket change, she does it behind closed doors but she still has to live up to the image by getting fake tits, fake hair, fake tan, and a manager boyfriend type who is ready to exploit her the first chance he gets to make a dollar, because that’s just what his kind does….

I once knew a stripper who made breast milk a huge part of her act. The stripclub was in some small town in some barn and the girls were all pretty strong from working the fields all day and the pole all night. This one bitch they called Creamy Clementine would get on stage and hose the locals down with her tit milk from having numerous kids and a breast pump that kept shit going well into her 40s. Anyway, I originally didn’t understand why all the grown men were going crazy like she was the Kool Aid guy and she just broke through their highschool cafeteria wall, but they were fucking hooked. I am talking pushing each other down and beating each other up to get to the stream of milky goodness squirting out of her tit.

I never took part in this show because it grossed me out and I didn’t research what kind of diseases a diseased whore can spread through her tits so I just kept my curiosity at bay until this guy I knew with the hottest wife around asked me to babysit. I know asking a drunken pervert to babysit seems fucking weird, but I love kids and we had a good time, the only problem is that she had about 4 bottles of her milk set aside for the kid and I couldn’t help but taste it thinking about old Creamy Clementine from years before.

I got hooked and I drank all 4 bottles, shit was powerful and I needed more so I’d show up unexpected a couple times a week and down all the tit milk I could find….that was until they caught on and I was blacklisted from their home and banned as a friend of the family, but I still remember the smooth flavor that touched my lips and slowly dripped down my throat and every time I see a bitch with milk filled titties I get all excited to get a taste, for some reason asking for a taste never goes over as well as planned cuz girls just think you want to suck their tits and end up slapping you or having their husbands defend their honor, but I promise I’ve got good intentions….

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Christina Aguilera Big Ol’ Titties in China
Christina Aguilera Partying in a Club
stepTV Does Christina Aguilera’s Tour Bus
Christina Aguilera’s Orgasm Face
Christina Aguilera’s See Through Dress

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|cleavage|Pregnant|Tits|Unsorted

2007

20

Aug

I am – Kimberly Stewart Bikini Pictures of the Day

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The weekend is always pretty dull for me. I end up going out on Friday and getting carried away with the drinking so that on Saturday I can’t fucking function and end up passing out by midnight on the kitchen floor, and Sunday is always the day I have set to do shit like the dishes or the laundry or whatever around the house but it never fucking happens, I always get distracted or end up at my wife’s shitty tea party with disgusting bitches who can’t get dick, but trust me they are fucking trying and by the time I figure out a way to get the fuck out of that shit, I try to hit up the strippers to get a couple of lap dances to inspire me for the week of work, because new titties always make for new ideas but my wife had no money for me to steal and I was forced to stay in and smell her from the other room. I was considering posting all the new pictures that are came out over the weekend, but since it was the day of rest, I decided to sleep for 14 hours instead.

Here are some Kimmy Stewart pics in some booty short type bottoms riding up her ass….I always write about how this bitch looks like she’s been hit by a fuckin bus because her face is so fucking busted but she’s got a good enough body for me and I’d still watch her shower because I’d pretty much watch anyone shower, but that’s the kind of guy I am, I call it non-discriminating, and I should be an example to all you fucking bigots. Reality is bitch has cellulite an should be rocking a pair of those body contouring shorts that hide that shit, but if you’ve seen my wife, you would realize that a little out of shape skinny girl in boyshorts is a lot better than a morbidly obese fat girl in pretty much anything. So be a little more positive about things, asshole.


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Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kimberly Stewart|Unsorted

2007

19

Aug

I am – Tranny and Her Snake of the Day

I will never understand transexuals because it’s weird. I was reading about a dude who cut off his own cock in the UK because he thought he was a woman and not because he was fag. It’s all very strange to me and I am not a big fan of trannies, but when there are no women around they are a lot better than hairy men….especially this tranny because it had it’s very own set of tits that I didn’t get on video because I suck at life…

Either way, the only thing better than a tranny with her own set of tits is a tranny with her own set of tits and a snake. This post may suck but my wife is harassing me to go to some stupid get together with a group of fat whores with no husbands that she knows from the church who smell like cheese and crackers…

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted