DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

16

Aug

I am – Nicolette Sheridan’s Red Lycra Pants of the Day

I am pretty sure these are old, but they were sent into me and I had no choice but to post them because her ass looks amazing and they remind me of some chick that I just saw walking with her annoying 15 year old son. I assume that she was a trophy wife who has some really rich husband and spends her days at the gym fucking the fitness trainer, at the hair salon talking to her fag stylist about giving blowjobs, at the day spa yelling at her masseuse about rubbing her down harder, at home yelling at the maid about cleaning better and at the cook about using more low-fat ingredients because the shit he’s cooking doesn’t fit in with the South Beach Diet her nutritionist put her on. The benefit of making a life out of being vain and self absorbed and superficial was that her ass was probably one of the most solid asses I’d ever seen and I tried to let her son know that he should be jerking off to her while she’s out at the pool and not trying to land blowjobs at his Jewish summer camp because she is that good.

When I finally made eye contact with the kid, I pointed to his moms ass and gave him the thumbs up hand signal. He just gave me the finger and went back to his phone conversation. I guess he hears about how hot she is everytime his friends tell him how bad they want to fuck her, or how they end up hanging out with her instead of him anytime they go over. The reality is that she is probably the only reason he has friends.

So seeing Nicolette Sheridan’s fit ass is just an extension of this celebration of bitches in their 40s who still have it going on enough for you to rub one out to, even though your desperation leaves you rubbing one out to pretty much anything with a vagina, including your fat neighbor who likes to garden in short shorts…

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More Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pictures

2007

16

Aug

I am – Nicolette Sheridan's Red Lycra Pants of the Day

No Comments »

I am pretty sure these are old, but they were sent into me and I had no choice but to post them because her ass looks amazing and they remind me of some chick that I just saw walking with her annoying 15 year old son. I assume that she was a trophy wife who has some really rich husband and spends her days at the gym fucking the fitness trainer, at the hair salon talking to her fag stylist about giving blowjobs, at the day spa yelling at her masseuse about rubbing her down harder, at home yelling at the maid about cleaning better and at the cook about using more low-fat ingredients because the shit he’s cooking doesn’t fit in with the South Beach Diet her nutritionist put her on. The benefit of making a life out of being vain and self absorbed and superficial was that her ass was probably one of the most solid asses I’d ever seen and I tried to let her son know that he should be jerking off to her while she’s out at the pool and not trying to land blowjobs at his Jewish summer camp because she is that good.

When I finally made eye contact with the kid, I pointed to his moms ass and gave him the thumbs up hand signal. He just gave me the finger and went back to his phone conversation. I guess he hears about how hot she is everytime his friends tell him how bad they want to fuck her, or how they end up hanging out with her instead of him anytime they go over. The reality is that she is probably the only reason he has friends.

So seeing Nicolette Sheridan’s fit ass is just an extension of this celebration of bitches in their 40s who still have it going on enough for you to rub one out to, even though your desperation leaves you rubbing one out to pretty much anything with a vagina, including your fat neighbor who likes to garden in short shorts…

Related Posts:

Nicolette Sheridan Buying Panties
Nicoletter Sheridan is Michael Bolton’s Fleshlight
Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pics
More Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pictures

2007

16

Aug

I am – Day Dreaming of my Internet Girlfriend of the Day

No Comments »

It’s always nice to be able to take time out of your day and sleep wherever you happen to be, but I am too paranoid of being attacked by a crazy person to kick back on a park bench and really let loose. It’s also nice to have dreams of the girl you love, even if she’s someone you’ve never met and only know through her myspace profile or extensive IM chats that you run home to have with her when you’re busy day of being a virgin is over and your lame social life leaves with you nothing better to do.

I am all about the dream, because sometimes reality is pretty fucking shitty and without dreams of a better tomorrow, you might as well just kill yourself. So what I am getting at is that even if this dude is a virgin and can’t get laid, he probably doesn’t realize it and either do you. Until Now…

Posted in:stepTV|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Bianca Gascoigne’s Fake Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I heard that this bitch had fake tits and that she was the daughter or stepdaughter of some footballer who obviously has enough money to land a slut a decent pair of tits for her 16th birthday if he really wanted to, but by looking at the pictures these are probably the worst set of fake tits I’ve seen in a while.

Sure they aren’t as bad as this whore I used to fuck who had one of her implants explode causing her all kinds of fucking chronic pain and shit I didn’t care to hear her complain about because I was paying her for her time but the thing I was concerned with was the fact that the one that had ruptured was fucking purple and black and looked pretty fucking infected. I guess the story goes that you get what you pay for and she learnt that lesson by buying cheap tits and I learnt that lesson by hiring cheap whores.

Either way, I love what fake tits do to a girl. They make them crazy. It’s like all their life they’ve been insecure about being topless, about low cut shirts, about whether guys will like them or not and they have blamed their small tits for their unhappiness so the second they can walk out with their new tits, shit hits the fucking fan and they go nuts. It’s overcompensation and usually gives me a headache unless their overcompensation allows me to look and touch their new purchase…

I knew this girl who got implants who worked a normal job, she was a receptionist or some shit and made a decent living. She had a nice place to live and she had enough money to put aside 5,000 dollars for new tits because one tit was smaller than the other and it really made her feel like shit about herself. She ended up getting the new tits and within 3 months of it she was stripping and addicted to meth. True story and that’s all I have to say about this.

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Posted in:Bianca Gascoigne|Fake Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Bianca Gascoigne's Fake Tits of the Day

1 Comment »

I heard that this bitch had fake tits and that she was the daughter or stepdaughter of some footballer who obviously has enough money to land a slut a decent pair of tits for her 16th birthday if he really wanted to, but by looking at the pictures these are probably the worst set of fake tits I’ve seen in a while.

Sure they aren’t as bad as this whore I used to fuck who had one of her implants explode causing her all kinds of fucking chronic pain and shit I didn’t care to hear her complain about because I was paying her for her time but the thing I was concerned with was the fact that the one that had ruptured was fucking purple and black and looked pretty fucking infected. I guess the story goes that you get what you pay for and she learnt that lesson by buying cheap tits and I learnt that lesson by hiring cheap whores.

Either way, I love what fake tits do to a girl. They make them crazy. It’s like all their life they’ve been insecure about being topless, about low cut shirts, about whether guys will like them or not and they have blamed their small tits for their unhappiness so the second they can walk out with their new tits, shit hits the fucking fan and they go nuts. It’s overcompensation and usually gives me a headache unless their overcompensation allows me to look and touch their new purchase…

I knew this girl who got implants who worked a normal job, she was a receptionist or some shit and made a decent living. She had a nice place to live and she had enough money to put aside 5,000 dollars for new tits because one tit was smaller than the other and it really made her feel like shit about herself. She ended up getting the new tits and within 3 months of it she was stripping and addicted to meth. True story and that’s all I have to say about this.

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Bianca Gascoigne Pantyless Upskirt
Bianca Gascoigne Lingerie
Throwback of a Topless Samantha Fox

Posted in:Bianca Gascoigne|Fake Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Britney Spears Panty of the Day

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I feel like Britney Spears was one of those girls who would have tricked her boyfriend into knocking her up by pretending to be on the pill but in reality bitch just flushed it down the toilet every morning. The kind of girl who would poke holes in the condoms you insisted on wearing because you knew she was a crazy bitch who would trick you into having a kid and that she probably wasn’t on the pill and raw dog would have meant lifetime commitment to her. She’s the kind of girl who after sex would run into the bathroom and dig the used condom out of the trash can, flip it inside out and try her hardest in a fit of tears while sitting on the toilet to impregnate herself. I guess she was lucky to find a freeloader like K-Fed who didn’t mind making babies for financial gain because knocking her up was part of his agenda just as much as it was part of hers.

Either way, these are some older pics of her out with her panties hanging out. I heard that she’s gone lesbian now, and that’s a pretty stable move for her because every lesbian I know made the move to lesbianism in some kind of insane “my dad used to rape me”, “My ex boyfriend cheated on me”, “my life sucks and I want to die” way.

I guess since these are old pictures, the post ends here.

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Posted in:Britney Spears|Crazy|Panties|Unsorted|Upskirt

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback’s Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will admit that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

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Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

16

Aug

I am – Elizabeth Hasselback's Cameltoe For The Kids of the Day

1 Comment »

These pictures are old but I had no choice to post them because this is more of a public service announcement to let you know to keep your kids away from her. Think of this as the pedophile watch in your hometown that identifies and notifies you when the pedophile moves in so parents don’t hire the new neighbor to babysit, only it’s really nothing at all like that.

She churns out kids like she’s a fucking baby factory and I am convinced that she does it because she’s trying to create a master race in her image, because we all know that she’s some weird religious cunt who found god when alone in the woods in Survivor and ever since then she’s been down fucking hill into crazy land.

I will admit that I watched that season of Survivor, i thought she was hot, I liked her bandana shirt with her nipples always hard out of excitement of being on the camera. But they always edited out pretty much anything she had to say, which was a good thing for us but not so good for her and she had to find another way to spread her word. So now she’s followed what she thinks is god’s plan for her to pollute housewives every fucking day with her bullshit on the view, winning them over to her team and now she’s working her way through the kids of America. So I guess she may not be a sex offender but she is a threat.

Point of this post is to say that Elizabeth Hasselback is a fucking cult and she’s even luring me in with her cameltoe exposed to a room full of kids. I know that if that was you and you were up there reading a kids book with your dick in hand, or even with just a hard on in your DJ AM’s (that means bicycle shorts for those in the know), you’d probably get arrested. Instead this bitch gets praised be because she confuses us into thinking she’s got good intentions and that she’s a fucking hero.

SO for an old set of pictures no one will like and that everyone has seen because I was out of town, I spent a little too much time writing this. But I guess I just had to get the word out. Cuddles.

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Some Old Jessica Simpson Camel Toe
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Some Elizabeth Berkley in a Bikini Because Her Name is Elizabeth….

Posted in:Cameltoe|Crazy|Elizabeth Hasselback|Religious|Unsorted

2007

15

Aug

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I just got a bill for the rubber vaginas a company sent me for some product test I could never do for them because my dick doesn’t work. I was thinking about lining them up and having this gay black dude who hangs out in my neighborhood work his magic on them in video and tell us what he thought the best one was, but I ended up taking them out of the box and tried fucking them all by rubbing my useless dick and saggy balls all up on it because I had hope since they didn’t didn’t smell like whatever my wife’s been cooking in her pants the last few years….

I set up a meeting with the fag to see if he could do anything with them and when I pulled them out they were covered in pubes. He didn’t believe me when I said that it must have been something on my floor. Needless to say, that video probably won’t be happening, but fedEX still managed to hit me up with 60 dollars for customs and that makes me cry on the inside.

Whenever I am sad…I just click my links. Since you’re always sad, I expect you to click my links too. Cuddles.

Mandy Moore is a Man
GO

Here’s a Game Called Pornstar or Popstar. They Are Pretty Much the Same Fucking Thing in My Mind…But The Game’s Worth Playing…
GO

First Lohan in Rehab Picture
GO

Some Chick Named Jenny Gilbertson Posing in a Bikini on Video
GO

Some Dude Reenacts Seinfeld and Plays Every Character Himself
GO

Heidi Montag’s Boyfriend Didn’t Even Give Her a Real Diamond Ring
GO

Hidden Camera Show Catches Guys Lookin Up Girls’ Skirts
GO

Whoose Boobs? – The Chocolate Edition Game
GO

Selma Blair on the Cover of Dazed Topless
GO

Paris Hilton Has It Out For Lohan in this Lost Dog Poster She Put Up. I Hate To Admit that this is kinda clever…
GO

Some Strange Lesbians in Panties Commercial for a Convenience Store
GO

Paris and Nicky Hilton ask for $500,000 to Host a NYE Party
GO

Woman Takes a Piss/Shit on the Side of the Street Video
GO

Some Idiot Tries a Ladder to Pool Trick and Fails.
GO

Katharine McPhee is Pregnant on the Set of Some Shitty Movie
GO

Some Bitch Named Emma Griffiths Posing
GO

Keira Knightley is Posing in Elle Magazine
GO

Kid Splatters Himself on the Wall
GO

Danielle Lloyd Taking Her Tits for a Walk
GO

Some Freak Gets Some Other Freak to Perform Some Freakish Stunt That Could Kill Her
GO

Some Hot Imports Night Video I May Not Be Into – But You Probably Are
GO

Jordan’s Black Panty Upskirt
GO

Britney Spears Hit K-Fed with a Frying Pan
GO

What the hell is the dude with the Mohawk wearing?
GO

Jenna Jameson Has Completed her Duck Surgery…Whatever that means…
GO

10 AIDS Ads from Around the World
GO

Perez Hilton is a Celebrity Rap Superstar for MTV and I Don’t Fucking Get It…Motherfucker’s Got No Business Being on TV and Should Stick to his Socially Awkward Blog….
GO

Guy Smashes His Friend with an Ironing Board
GO

Video of Some Chick Peeing
GO

They are Saying that Halle Berry is 2 Months Pregnant
GO

Dude Get Knocked the Fuck Out in Front of Chicks
GO

Some Girls Showing Their Junk at a Fast Food Restaurant
GO

Gwen Stefanis is Wet and Slutting Out for Her Perfume Line
GO

6 Days Til Hayden Panettiere Turns 18
GO

Britney Spears Hates Her Kids
GO

Kim Kardashian Has Ass Implants
GO

Karolina Kurkova and Selita Ebanks together in Pictures Making You Hot and Bothered While Reading My Site. Sick-o.
GO

Brandon Davis’ Weird Fucking Eye Disorder
GO

Some Urban Ninja’s Doing Their Urban Ninja Parcour Shit.
GO

Some Cam Girl Named Renee Doing What Cam Girls Do….
GO

Some Topless Chick Should Be The New Spokesperson for Coca Cola
GO

Japanese Porn May Be Pixelated to Block Out The Genitals – But That Shit Doesn’t Hide The Squirt
GO

I know People Who Get Laid From This and You Could be One of Them
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

15

Aug

I am – Ashley Scott Bikini Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

I don’t know who Ashley Scott is, which is surprising since I’ve been doing this site for so long. I can only assume that hard drinking for so many years has made me lose anything that resembles a memory and that I am just a high-functioning retard at this point. I don’t need to be in a home but I do catch myself sitting in the park hitting 2 rocks together for hours on end while rockin’ back and forth. I like to think it’s part of my charm.

The reality is that I am too ugly for a girl like Ashley Scott to ever considering getting naked for, so I rely on these pictures of her to make me believe that my life isn’t destined to some fat middle-aged whore who made my stop working, taking every bit of masculinity I ever had away from me leaving me nothing more than a fat dude with tits. I was trying to talk dirty to this slut on IM in hopes of bringing some level of my spunk back and she was into cybersex. She wanted me to virtually rape her but I couldn’t pull through. I knew that even in fantasy a rape scene headed by me would end up with my limp dick trying it’s hardest to make it’s way into the promised land, leaving her bored of the role-playing, and leaving me on the corner of the bed limp dick in hand, head bowed in shame and embarrassment possibly with tears of frustration dripping down my face.

I guess that doesn’t really matter to you, I was just saying you should take this pictures to a private part of your mother’s house, like the bathroom, lock the door and rape yourself, because let’s face it, she’s a hell of a lot better than anything you’ll ever land.

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