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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day
Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2007

25

Jul

I am – Old Bond Girl of the Day

No Comments »

Bond Chick

You cunts are wearing me out. I was exhausted and stayed in last night instead of slutting it up for you in some nasty bar. I watched this indie horrror flick called “Love Object.” Basically this dysfunctional virgin (you) buys this super sex-doll for ten grand and it goes all Chucky on his ass, but not before he can slam the shit out of i. I wondered if he cleaned her after her thrust his morning wood up in her laytex vagina. I hope so.

It reminded me of all those special times I invited a guy to raw-dog and come inside me (like Jesus). Afterwards, I’d be in the middle of my walk of shame and then fuck, his juice would come drizzling out all over again, and again, and again. So I felt for this sex-doll, because you know he left her on her back leaking his jizz all day, and all she could do was stew in it. I rooted for the rubber bitch when she came alive.

This Italian bitch, Maria Grazia Cucinotta, is showing you some cleavage that is weird and plastic in a sex-doll kind of way. Maria was ‘Cigar Girl’ in that James Bond movie “The World Is Not Enough” which I didn’t see because I was too busy fucking people for money like any decent young teenager. Here she is in Rome at the screening of some Italian movie she is in that I won’t bother mentioning because you are too cultureless too care, and so am I.

Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

EMAIL ME HERE


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2007

25

Jul

I am – Dirty Jobs : The Britney Spears Assistant Edition

11 Comments »

Britney Spears

I dunno if you guys are familiar with this show Dirty Jobs on Discovery. Basicially this dude Mike Rowe has to go and do all the shitty, disgusting jobs that you and I don’t think about while you’re busy being a freelance whatever and I’m sitting here writing this for all 3 of you to read. Anyways, I had this great idea for a special edition they could do, and posted it in their forums HERE though I have a feeling they may remove it rather quickly. I really hope he replies.

Below is the full post I made today:

Dear Mike Rowe and the Dirty Jobs Crew

Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of you and your show and was thinking this morning that I had a great idea for one of your upcoming episodes of Dirty Jobs. As a part of my own job, I get to comment and basically make fun of celebrities all day. It’s really great. It gives meaning to my life and most of the time is pretty funny. I also work at Dairy Queen part-time but I think I’m getting fired. That’s another story.

Anywhoo, my idea is that you could go and be Britney Spear’s assistant for one full week, as I think that is probably the dirtiest job on the planet right now. You get to wake her up out of Vicodin and Valium hangovers and hold her hair while she barfs. You get to change poopy diapers that haven’t been changed in a few hours, pick the head lice out of her hair weave like an orangutan and you may even have to see her naked. I can’t think of a dirtier job then that, can you?

I think it would be a great episode and that it would help your ratings a lot, not that you need it. If you can’t do it, I understand, because I know your producers may not like the idea. I get the feeling they aren’t half as cool as you are and they probably all wear suits to work and eat salads. That’s pretty lame. Nonetheless, send me some full frontal nudes, fully shaven. I think you’re pretty hott.

Hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
Stepdaughter[at]drunkenstepfather.com


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2007

25

Jul

I am – Adrianne Curry Looking Like a Space Hooker of the Day

2 Comments »

Adrianne Curry

Julien sent this in this morning and like all good friends, we share common loves and hates for the same things, today being a hate for America’s Next Top Model and Cycle 1 winner Adrianne Curry.

Last night I slept with this guy who had a couple of kids. It was the classic case or suburban husband is actually a raging faggot, very Desperate Housewives. While we were fucking I got to thinking about what his kids would think if they walked into us mid butt-fuck; their dad’s feet on my shoulders as I m plowing away. And I got to thinking if this is guy is a loser, closet case, homo, where does that leave his kids?

The thing is, eventually Adrienne Curry is going to have kids (that is if her vagina can hold up through these all of these years of super sluttery of course) and they are going to look up to her. She is going to be like a superhero for them and she is going to have a major impact on this child’s life. And the sad part is, that these poor kids won’t know that the most important person in their life is actually a complete and utter whore who’s claim to fame is winning a reality show about models nobody gives a fuck about.

So anyway, here is Adrienne Curry at some Playboy party dressed up like a Amazonian stripper from the year 2046. Her future kids don’t have a fucking chance.

SMOOCH!

Julien


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2007

25

Jul

I am – Rihanna and Her Shiny, Sexy Legs of the Day

2 Comments »

Rhianna

While the Lohan is out getting arrested for DUI and running over small children and Britney is shaving her head and putting Sean Preston on the BBQ, Rhianna is on stage rocking out, making millions and probably being your wank fantasy after your mom tucks you in at night. I don’t where here parents went right, but I’d like to shake their hands.
The only downfall for Rhianna is she will most likely have to fuck Jay-Z one day, if she hasn’t already, and like I dunno if you’ve taken a good look at Jay-Z or not, but if you have, then I think you’’ see my point. All the money in the world can’t save that dudes looks and to top it off, homeboy has gotten hefty lately and puts a whole new spin on the words “Big Pimpin’�.

Every girls fucks a guy at one point or another (okay maybe MORE then one point) where she thinks the guy is just fucking disgusting, and it’s usually as a result of him being able to give you something you want or wanted, cause women are whores like that. The worst part is this disgusting sex usually ends up being some of the best sex we have had in our lives, but it’s totally confusing in your head, because just looking at this other person makes you want to retch. It’s the ultimate double edged sword, but it does happen occasionally.

I bet when Rhianna fucks gets she gets diamond necklaces and cars. Me, I’m lucky if I get a fucking ride home.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Ever Martinez


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Posted in:Legs|Rihanna|Unsorted

2007

24

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

4 Comments »

stepLINK July 24/07

It’s been a long day, I think I have food poisoning I can’t tell for sure. I can’t decide if the bad thing about the date was the food and that I am now sick or the fact that I didn’t get laid, but I guess they are both pretty bad for their own reasons.

I don’t understand guys – nay – people who don’t want to fuck on the first date. Don’t give me that I don’t want to spoil it shit. I mean let’s be real, ee’ll probably end up never talking again anyways, because I have severe commitment issues, so let’s just fuck, enjoy the time we have, and get on with it. Second dates after no sex are for Mommies boys looking for a wife and girls who want to talk about their feelings. I am neither of those things.

Here’s the links. Click them and watch the magic happen.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
stepdaughter[at]drunkenstepfather.com


The Lindsay Lohan rehab song
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Gun crazy kids and their just as insane parents
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Free Sex. Need I say more?
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Hilary Duff wants to clean your house
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Britney spears proves she is a train wreck once again because….
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Human can opener
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Jail Bait
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Lind$ay’S Dad want$ to help
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The Lost Nintendo Sex Ed Tape
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You stay classy…
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Some idiots flip a BMW their parents probably bought them
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Victoria Silvstedt sucks on a sausage. Seriously.
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Jennifer Garner’s underpants
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Trump Bot vs Bill Gates
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stunt Chicks
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Lookin’ good sweetheart
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Ginger Spice’s trainer scare the shit out of me
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Some hoes get wild at a Bachlorette party
GO “target=â€?_blank”> GO

Get drunk and hit some walls.
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Kimberly Stewart looking kind of okay, only cause you can’t see her face
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Rachel Bilson = Very Nice
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Jennifer Walcott is worth leaving your wife for
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Life is short…
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Jordan finally names her kid and it’s even dumber then the fake one from a few weeks ago
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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Blech.
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Brad and Angelina have a better life then you and me
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Call on me workout
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The Black President Bush
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Co Co’s tits are fucking huge
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Kim Kardishain and her big ol’ cans of the day
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Hot or Not?
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Drunk girls public flashing
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Britneys Meltdown of the year is coming
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Lookin’ good sweetheart
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Rupert Everette thinks homos shouldn’t have kids
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Some idiots eats a Habanero pepper
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Flavor Flav’s Comedy Central Roast
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And MORE reasons Lohan is an idiot..
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Home sweet home
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Pink kinda looks like a chick for once
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Retro Celebrities
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Misa Campo is a hot whore
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Britney Pregnant again? Oh helllllllll no!
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Lil Kim ain’t so Lil
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Michael Lohan going on Larry King. Ooooh boy…
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Drunk chicks with no tops on and making out
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Lots of Tits
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Lauren Conrad in a Bikini
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Stacy Kiebler likes to party
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War, what is it good for?
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Topless fatties protest at a Hilldog event
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Some chick gets naked on her roof
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I actually fucked a guy who used this stuff. True story.
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Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

24

Jul

I am – Park Fight of the Day

8 Comments »

I have been of the opinion for a long time that men who fight do so only because they have small dicks and are trying to over compensate and women who fight do so only because they think they have something to prove in that “I can do anything a man can do.” type of way. Its pretty sad actually when I go out to bar or any other place for that matter and see grown fucking people picking a fight with someone else like its highschool and everyone is going to meet near the oak trees to watch. Grow the fuck up.

PS The way the cops just stand there for a bit is pretty fantastic. I also like the part where the bitch takes off her shoe.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

Posted in:stepTV|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

Jul

I am – Lohan Arrested AGAIN of the Day

15 Comments »

Lindsay Lohan

And that’s all I have to say about that.


Read More Here
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Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

24

Jul

I am – Amy Winehouse is a Real Addict of the Day

10 Comments »

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse is fucked up but she is never, ever going to die of an overdose. Here’s why:

I have an older friend, we’ll call him Joe. Joe was a Heroin Addict for years and a friend of our families. We watched him get clean, relapse, his friends die, get clean again, be homeless, come back with money etc etc. It was a really vicious cycle to watch and as much as I mess with drugs now and again, after seeing something like that, I know when to chill the fuck out and get it together.

What I realized through all this was real drug addicts don’t die. Real drug addicts don’t want to die, because if they die, they can’t get high anymore, and that is all those junkie fucks care about.

People like Lohan die, kids who are obsessed with having a good time and think drugs are glamorous and all that other bullshit. Lohan isn’t a fucking addict, and she doesn’t need rehab, she needs that fucking cougar mother of hers to stop milking her fame and money and give her some discipline.

I’ve known a lot of Junkie idiots in my, even though I’m only 18, and 8/10 times if you ask them about their family life, they will tell you they came from a good family, most probably with money, and that it was THAT money that allowed them to start using in the first place.

Amy Winehouse doesn’t have time to go to places like Hyde, and get drunk and crash her car and leave the scene of an accident and go to rehab for 30 days then get out and go back again. It’s waaaay to much work for her. It will cut into her precious time for getting high. And that’s how a real addict thinks

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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2007

24

Jul

I am – Gretchen Mol’s Rack is Over the Hill of the Day

7 Comments »

Gretchen Mol

Here’s another post from Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, for all you closet Homos out there!

I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not looking for a boyfriend but I was seeing (aka fucking) this guy for the past few months. It was by no means exclusive, we were both free to do whatever we wanted to do with whomever we wanted, but if we were both at the same bar/club/
after party/bathhouse/back alley/washroom in the subway station and we had nothing better to fuck, we would go home together.

So anyway I see at this club the other night and I’m all fucked up on whatever pills I found in my jeans, so I go over to him and start making out with him. After about 10 seconds, he stops me and goes I can’t, I started dating someone and it’s serious. We are going to be monogamous. This is coming from one of the biggest sluts I know; I mean this guy has seen more assholes than the entire New York Board of Proctologists. He walks away from me and I felt pretty rejected so
I got more drunk and went home with the first half-decent guy that I saw.

The worst part is it’s not that he rejected me, but it’s that he wasn’t even that good in bed. He was older than me so he had some performing issues, not to mention the fact that he would freak out at the first sign of a little santorum. All in all he wasn’t a good fuck, just an easy one. If only I had gotten to him when he was younger, I bet he could’ve kept going all night. Speaking of things that are way past their prime, here are some pics of Gretchen Mol’s cleavage.

Smooch!

Julien


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Posted in:Gretchen Mol|Tits|Unsorted

2007

24

Jul

I am – Gretchen Mol's Rack is Over the Hill of the Day

No Comments »

Gretchen Mol

Here’s another post from Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, for all you closet Homos out there!

I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m not looking for a boyfriend but I was seeing (aka fucking) this guy for the past few months. It was by no means exclusive, we were both free to do whatever we wanted to do with whomever we wanted, but if we were both at the same bar/club/
after party/bathhouse/back alley/washroom in the subway station and we had nothing better to fuck, we would go home together.

So anyway I see at this club the other night and I’m all fucked up on whatever pills I found in my jeans, so I go over to him and start making out with him. After about 10 seconds, he stops me and goes I can’t, I started dating someone and it’s serious. We are going to be monogamous. This is coming from one of the biggest sluts I know; I mean this guy has seen more assholes than the entire New York Board of Proctologists. He walks away from me and I felt pretty rejected so
I got more drunk and went home with the first half-decent guy that I saw.

The worst part is it’s not that he rejected me, but it’s that he wasn’t even that good in bed. He was older than me so he had some performing issues, not to mention the fact that he would freak out at the first sign of a little santorum. All in all he wasn’t a good fuck, just an easy one. If only I had gotten to him when he was younger, I bet he could’ve kept going all night. Speaking of things that are way past their prime, here are some pics of Gretchen Mol’s cleavage.

Smooch!

Julien


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