I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

12

Jul

I am – Abigail Clancy Topless on a Yacht

Abigail Clancy topless on a yacht. Apparently she’s a catwalk and lingerie model. Sounds like a perfect candidate for rich guys to hire her as their girlfriend to fuck. She’s from the UK, so those rich guys are likely soccer players, or what she calls Football players, who charter these yachts for aspiring models no one has ever heard of to pose topless on for the paparazzi. It helps everyone involved.

I figure that anyone who doesn’t look repulsive in a bikini and has cause to be on a yacht is worth my attention….only because I can put them in my internet database of gold diggers if ever I get rich, only that won’t work, because by then there will be a whole new breed of “Lingerie” and “catwalk” models…

Now let me upload the pics, unless I fall asleep, which happens. I’m drunk and this is boring…but tits….look at those tits!


Related Posts
I am – Brooke Sheenan Slutty Dress of the Day
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I am – Dita Von Tease Doing Her Routine in Tokyo of the Day
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I am – America’s Next Top Model Melrose Topless of the Day
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Posted in:Abigail Clancy|Models|Tits|Topless|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Brittany Snow Forgot Her Milk Jug of Gasoline of the Day

Brittany Snow at Hairspray Premiere

Sugar Nell again. I have a bone to pick with this unmuzzled wench, Brittany Snow, and it all started back in 2003 when my Turkish ex-pimp Zeki was stealing cable so we could get a better picture because let’s face it, bunny ears don’t do shit, and you are nothing with out even basic cable. NOTHING. One fine fall evening, Zeki let us girls have an hour of TV-time before he appropriated our lady-parts for his financial gain. This piss-poor show “American Dreams” came on… Oh Miss Snow. My beef with her is not that she looks like some genetic-wizard’s wacky hybrid of a poorman’s new-nose Ashlee Simpson and Tara Reid on a good day, but that she is a terrible actress. I will give it to her–she has rock hard abs, skinny hips that are on the cusp of tranny, is skinny, but looks like she should be steeling gasoline in a plastic milk jug from the Esso so she and her pals can huff the pain away.

In a not completely unrelated story, Snow looks like the best looking/ friendliest stripper at this boondock slag-shack in upstate New York that I visited post-Zeki, when i began my adventure on the Community College track. I had heard this place had “Amateur Night” every night. So one sad Tuesday my friend and my professor decided to move the malt-liquor marathon on to this aforementioned palace of peekaboo-poonani, which of course, was so classy it did not have a liquor license (awesome), yet managed to have white powder lining the nostrils of every dancer there (and bitches wouldn’t share, most of which were big and brokedown, so its not like it was going to good use). The three of us and a weathered rail-of-a-man romancing his 7up were the only patrons in this fairly un-exciting shit-shanty. So my friend and I jump on the stage (because every night is amateur night) and it’s like suddenly the strippers have a new lease on life, start zealously tutoring us in the art of “pole”: we were their Matt Damon to their Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. I don’t know who was Minnie Driver. We made two bucks off our community college professor, three off the old man with the 7up, and we were offered a job.

And a stripper who looked like Brittany Snow made it all happen…

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell
Email Me

I couldn’t find related posts on this bitch, so here’s some random ones I found under Tits.

I am – Jessica Simpson in a Blue Dress of the Day
GO

I am – Michelle Marsh Has Huge Tits of the Day GO

I am – Pam Anderson’s Tits Do Magic of the Day
GO

Posted in:Brittany Snow|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Paris Hilton is Full of Herself of the Day

Paris Hilton in a Warhol Style Shirt

I honestly don’t have much to write about this, but what I do have to say is I was talking about Warhol earlier today HERE and the whole “Everyone Will Be Famous for 15 Minutes� thing, and here comes Paris Hilton wearing a Warhol-style shirt with her own face on it. Yes, I am a psychic genius, and no, you can’t have my phone number.


Related Posts

I am – Paris Hilton’s Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day
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I am – Paris Hiltons Fake Tits of the Day
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I am – Paris Hilton Eats Ice Cream With Fat Dude of the Day
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Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Britney Spears at a Hotel of the Day

Britney Spears at Hotel

Here’s Britney Spears at a hotel in a Beverly Hills, which makes no sense to me whatsoever because as far as I know she has a house in Malibu or Los Angeles or something other really nice place I will probably never get to go, let alone live.

When I was about 8 or so, I knew this kid who always wanted to sleep over. Like, all the time. My house sucked, we never had good snacks, and the only toy I had was a dirty stuffed rabbit I got from from some relative that came over once and never came back, possibly my real father.

Meanwhile, this kid had a pool and a kitchen so filled with food it was like a restaurant, complete with a Nanny who would cook whatever we wanted while we sat and played video games. I asked her one day about it, and she told me that she thought my parents were “cooler”. Only through the eyes of an 8 year old can extreme obiesity and alcoholism be viewed as cool.

I never really understood that, and I don’t understand this thing with Britney Spears now. I’m sure this hotel is nice, but I am also fucking positive that the multi-million dollar house she owns is way fucking nicer.


Related Posts

I am – Britney Spears Goes Out in Her Bra of the Day
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I am – Britney Spears Tits in Public of the Day
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I am – Britney Spears Bikini Ass of the Day
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Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes’ Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar� Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan� way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Amanda Bynes' Zellwegger Face of the Day

Amanda Bynes Zellweger Face

One of Jesus’ old flames agreed to help me out with the site in his absence. She’s a fine lady, and I hope all of you will treat her with the decency and respect you have treated me since I started here. And by decency and respect I mean name calling and sending her full frontal nudes.

Hi there, my name is “Sugar” Nell and I am one of Jesus’ ex-hooker friends he got pregnant back in the day (but a steady diet of liquor and Oxycontin solved that little mishap). I am gonna be assisting his lovely stepdaughter Marie-Eve while he is away Cruise’n + Booze’n, because he helped me out when I finally took care of my Turkish pimp, Zeki (it involved spiking his Raki with anti-freeze, which didn’t kill him, but layed him up in the county hospital for a few weeks…

These are pictures of Amanda Bynes promoting the queef-fest that is the remake of Hairspray on some show that is probably German or Belgian, one of those faux-TRLs that eats up American B actors with bloated Zellwegger-esque faces and bottle blonde hair like a fat Detroit autoworker inhales his sacred Hoagies (or cheese-steaks or whatever the hell they eat in Detroit, which is one of our fattest cities here in the States, or at least it should be).

The point is Bynes isn’t bad looking, she is attractive in a corn-fed kind of “I am a slim Midwestern Girl who discovered Sun-In and Fake-Tan” way. But her face is so damn big it reminds me of the girl I knew from Zeki’s harem that tried to get off coke because it was fucking up her nosejob. She took up Bulimia instead, which was hell on the pipes in the basement apartment/ boiler-room we called home, to which Zeki possessed the only key. The slut went from having elfin facial features to a big-ass Moonface over night. Seriously. I am sure Bynes isn’t bulimic, but I am saying that looking at her face is like discovering a new planet. She is all make-up, and she should perhaps lay off the salt. And she is one of those annoying Nickelodeon child-star comedians that should have all been rounded up and drowned as babies.

Zeki was not thrilled with Moonface’s makeover, and Zeki would not be pleased with Bynes either. But alas, Zeki is no more… but that is another story, for another time…

Obediently yours (because I am still afraid of being beaten)

Sugar Nell
Email Me

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

12

Jul

I am – Kim Kardishian is Kinda Famous of the Day

Kim Kardishian @ Mercedes Fashion Week.

So it looks like fatass is gone, and it’s just me and the four of you losers until he gets back, lucky me. Thanks for the emails you guys have been sending, its good to know you’re reading. Of course I know it’s just cause you’re all still virgins, and think maybe scoring with an 18 year old will be easy.

Here’s Kim Kardishian, doing what shes does best, which is nothing. Every highschool has a girl like Kim. Drop dead gorgeous but living in the shadow of her manipulitive, popular-for-no-reason best friend (yes, thats you Paris!), who she is also prettier then. She’s forced to follow her friend around, maybe carry her books to class, get the seconds of guys that her friend didn’t want andother stuff like that. But hey at least she’s popular kinda right? She gets to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria!!!

My art teacher is pretty cool and when I told him I was helping Jesus run the blog while he was gone, he told me this quote by Andy Warhol, something about how in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. I started thinking about that when I walked home that day and it kind of stuck with me. What kind of a crazy world are we living where merely being friends with somebody famous can make you a star too? Then I realized it’s just like highschool. You run around to be seen with the right crowd, you have wear the right clothes or everyone hates you, and the girls that are sluts get the most attention. So Hollywood is just like Highschool, though I think Hollywood may have better food.

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Sluts|Socialites|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

stepLINKS July 11th

I wrote this hilarious post and did all the links and then my computer crashed because our house is hot as fuck and Jesus won’t get us an air conditioner. I wrote a fantastic intro, which I lost of course, along with all the links. I felt really movivated to continue after, as I’m sure you all would. But, something pretty funny did happen to me today.

I was driving back to my place with a friend in his car and there was pretty heavy traffic, so we hit up the Mc Donald’s drive through to grab some food. As we stop at this light, this street kid and his girlfriend go up to a BMW in front of us and start trying to squeegee the windown or some shit. I could see the kid in the passenger side waving the guy away. The homeless kid got pissed, you know cause homeless people generally think they are entitled to all shit we work all day for while they sit around in the sun drinking booze. The kid took his squeegee and not only hit the front windshield but also kicks the side of the passenger door which I am pretty sure left a dent.

As this point they were yelling racial slurs at the father and son in the car, and even telling them ignorant shit like to “go back to their country” etc, cause you know, thats whats racist ingorant people do. The traffic picked up, and the BMW drove away, I guess they didn’t want to get involved or some shit. So, I did the only thing I could think of and took the lid off my supersized orange soda and threw the thing on the kid as we drove by and my friend honked the horn. It was amazing. Here’s the links,

Most song lyrics are bullshit. Here’s some proof.
GO

I dunno who Battles are, but they seem pretty cool to me.
GO

The Joys of Food and Sex.
GO

Prisoner workout sing along.
GO

In case you are hungry and poor, like I am.
GO

Waste time at work playing this cool game.
GO

Michelle Marsh gets the dumbest tattoo ever.
GO

Josh Duhamel is dating what appears to be a man
GO

Cellphone in the bumhole. Cause you’re a perv like that.
GO

The colour purple….and orange.
GO

A wet t-shirt contest, because you never get to see boobs in real life.
GO

Natalie Denning is so hot it’s ridiculous
GO

Pam Anderson shows us her tits. For the millionth time.
GO

Chick walks through toen in a Meat Bikini.
GO

Lohan knows how to read! Or so she claims.
GO

Cameron Diaz wears see through tops. She’s probably trying to distract from her
face.
GO

Naked girls at a pool party.
GO

An ode to the Female Ass
GO

Use this next time you almost get robbed on the way home
GO

Drunk college girls get naked for the camera. What else is new.
GO

Brandon Davis is ugly and I hate him.
GO

Now THATS what I call a sex toy
GO

Your daily piece of ass.
GO

Nicole Richie is still going to jail, just later then we thought.
GO

More ET Porn
GO

Some Pretty Naked Photobucket Pics
GO

Next Generation of Rape Prevention
GO

Jessica Biel Big Tit Pics
GO

Mariah Carey Bikini Pics in Spanish
GO

Mark Ronson has a new album or something.
GO

The art of the Bikini.
GO

Now you can watch Scarlet Johanson undress without fear of a lawsuit.
GO

More Photobucket Vagina – Thanks Rogue Collector
GO

Live vicariously through the guy touching this girls ass.
GO

Charlie Sheen found a new wife-to-be to cheat on and abuse.
GO

Hairy wife. Because you are a dirty hippy at heart.

GO

Guys with big guts are hot, just ask Jesus.
GO

Rachel Bilson is adorable.
GO

Lindsay Lohan wants to get married.
GO

Why are Posh and Beckham famous?
GO

And More Photobucket Vagina – Thanks Rogue Collector
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Ninja Cheerleaders
GO

Kids give teachers Marijuana muffins. Awesome!
GO

Whores dancin to Christina Aguilera’s Dirty.
GO

Katherine McPhee is really hot.
GO

Hilary Swank is skinny. Duh.
GO

Pink .vs. Shitney Spears.
GO

Find sex in your home town, or where else you happen to be.
GO

Being a virgin at 35 is really, really sad. Maybe this will help you.
GO

Show Me Your Links and I’ll Show Your Mine
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora’s Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted

2007

11

Jul

I am – Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen at Some Chick Named Nora's Birthday of the Day

mk_party2.jpg

So my crack internet investigation team that include my 2 stepdaughters, a few ex hookers and a couple of the dudes from the park who are on welfare and drunk or medicated all the time have come across these pictures of Marie Kate and Ashley Olsen partying for some chick named Nora’s birthday. Now I don’t know much about Nora but she is in the L.A. socialite circle of girls who have really rich parents. I am talking girls who’s parents are record execs, studio execs, actors and whatever else they fucking do. They are the socialites that Paris Hilton was a part of before becoming the slut that she is today. They are relatively low key, have lots of money, go to parties and nice restaurants but no one really cares about them because they don’t suck dick on camera and go to all the major events but are still out there.

I was talking to one of them on Facebook a while ago, because she’s trying to be a hipster DJ photographer. Her dad works for a record label and all her friends are models that you would know. She was the biggest fucking cunt I’ve come across because I guess most rich girls are. She is dating the dude in Maroon 5, not the main guy but the guitar or bass player and bitch thinks she’s untouchable and owns the fucking world because of who daddy is. I still made fun of her and made her never want to talk to me again. I wish I remember what I wrote to her but I forgot everything today because I saw 2 redheads making out and it tripped me the fuck out….like I’m talking pure orange haired freaks going at it….at first I thought they were brother and sister then I realized they weren’t…..when his tongues was jammed in her mouth….

Either way, it’s safe to say that these socialite rich girls are just as fucking delusional as Paris just not as famous. Either way, the Olsen Twins were at their party and here are the pictures….

Bonus Mischa Barton’s Pill Popping Rehab Sister

Posted in:Ashley Olsen|Coke|Drunk|Olsen Twins|Rich Kids|Unsorted