DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

16

Mar

I am – Tara Reid See-Thru of the Day

Tara Reid is a recovering party slut, the kind who used to go to ever Cha Chi Gone Wild in their white blazers while buying their sluts in party dresses with no bras while singing Bob Sinclair’s Love Generation and drinking Magnum’s of Grey Goose or Cristal in hopes of getting the sluts back to their parent’s basements or a nice drunken fuck because all the money they spend on lookin’ like ballers doesn’t afford them the luxury of rent.

I ended up at a club like that where I ordered a round of drinks, tipped the waitress and said â€œThis is for your kidsâ€?, something I probably shouldn’t have said to a 20 year old black woman with a big boobs and dreams of being the next Tyra, because she got offended. It probably had to do with her mother having her at 16 in the projects or something or maybe with the fact that her drug dealing boyfriend knocked her up when she was 16 and my tip was really going to be paying for his baby nike’s.

Either way, those clubs lure hotter sluts than the coke bars I hang out at with drunk and homeless crackheads and Tara Reid is lookin’ better than ever with her solid new tits. She’ll be a great stripper when she snorts all her Van WIlder earnings up her nose.

Posted in:Tara Reid|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Jordan is the Mum of the Year of the Day

3 Comments »

I guess ready to drop porn has always had a place in the world. I can remember talking to people over the years about how they wanted to slam pregnant chicks. I remember a local magazine shop that only really had porn because that’s just the part of town I live in had about 15 pregnant slut porno mag titles. I was never into it because it the thought of a baby growing inside a slut kinda grosses me out. I can only assume that the kind of girl who fists herself on camera while pregnant, probably didn’t get pregnant doing something I’d find sexy. But I am pretty prude when it comes to my smut.

But that’s not the point, the point is one day I saw this 15 year old kid outside the magazine shop, he had been rejected when buying a Hustler and told me this story about how his dad left the family and that he had to teach his 12 year old brother about sex. He begged me to pick up a Hustler for him and I said ok, because I have no real morals, took his 10 dollars and picked up the dirties pregnant porno I could find. I bought myself a pack of smokes and gave him his magazine, gave him a pat on his back and said tell your brother to use a condom or his bitch will end up like this and walked away. I like to think of myself as a man of the people teaching kids the things they need to learn.

Either way, Jordan won some “Mum of the Year” bullshit award because she has a retarded half black half bucket of rocks of a son that got that way from her insane partying while pregnant antics and is now is knocked up with a second kid she can’t breast feed for fear of giving him some kind of retardation from silicone poisoning. So giving her this award is like letting me babysit your teenage daughters…

My posts are boring today, but you win some and you lose some, I have just never won any yet…but pregnant or not, I’d still bang Jordan, I know I have no standards, but she’s hotter than anything I’ve had even with a baby up in her diseased womb…

Posted in:Jordan|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – The Reason Lohan is Fat of the Day

7 Comments »

Lohan is fatter than ever because Lohan has replaced drinking and drugs with coffee and donuts. She is living an American white trash dream, she just needs to throw some soap operas, a trailer and a husband that beats her and this classy slag will be you.

The only reason this picture makes me sick to my stomach is that the first 2 years of my marriage, I’d watch my wife eat a donut a day and anytime I did something I shouldn’t have done, like drink all night, or expose myself to teenage girls on the bus, or have sex with a hooker after a 3 day meth binge forgetting to call home and tell the family where I was, I’d just come home with a couple dozen donuts and bitch would eat that shit up and be too jacked on sugar and fried dough to give me shit for being me….

I can’t dis Lohan for being Lohan, we’re connected at the soul and I am still expecting a callback from all the messages I’ve sent her over the last 6 months. I still have hope.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I used to call Lohan and leave voicemail messages hoping she’d issue a restraining order so that I’d end up on Access Hollywood. You can see some of the by Clicking This Link

I just did a total blogger move, and I feel like a useless virgin who never leaves his house for fear of people knowing I am a virgin….yes…I feel like you…CUDDLES.

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Nazanin Boniadi See Thru of the Day

4 Comments »

Here are some pictures of some slut who isn’t wearing a bra rockin’ a bit of a see-thru shirt which is good enough to get posted on this site, even though I have no ideal who this bitch is, other than her name confuses me to type and threw off my whole train of thought.

I am used to my train of thought being thrown off, partially because I am ADD and not in the Nicole Richie medicated way, but in the way that my brain feels like a puddle of fucking puke from drinking too much for my liver to handle…maybe I should have stopped drinking years ago, but if I did I wouldn’t be here typing this for you, I’d be working in Middle Management, answering my emails from my Blackberry while lying in bed with my wife that I love in our suburban home…Instead, I hate my fat wife and she’s destroyed me as a man by taking away my ability to have an erection….

Being impotent has made me want to rock Viagra for the last couple of years. I know itâ€™s something people are doing recreationally while jacked-up on coke, but I never did it and the thought of having a raging boner for 6 hours is amazing, but know that my penis is broken from emotional trauma of witnessing my wife’s vagina and it’s not because my prostate is the size of a grapefruit… I do remember as a teenager Iâ€™d get hard watching the Brady Bunch or even riding my fucking bike and now the fear of getting hard because of the risk of having her 400 lbs mount me like I was her moterized fat person scooter is enough to turn me into a gimp….

At least it makes me less threatening when I follow girls down dark alleys.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton’s Mysterious Stain of the Day

24 Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I donâ€™t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

16

Mar

I am – Paris Hilton's Mysterious Stain of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton with some stain on her dress, it’s obviously not some dude’s nut on her, because nobody has a load like that, not even the kind of guy who would let this bitch with herpes at his dick. It’s just an easy joke waiting to happen and I’ll leave it up to the other blogs because today I have decided I like Paris because Paris fucks and not enough girls let random men up in them, at least not enough girls I know.

That said, I wish more girls were whores like Paris. I remember when I was about 18 before I found the right kind of women who actually liked to have guys cum on their faces, I was hanging with some prude religious bitch who I thought wouldn’t be a prude because all the fucking bible shit parents feed their tight little school girls usually means the girl’s got no limits like the one I met later in life who would only fuck me after I pulled an exorcist on her and shoved a Virgin Mary statue in her box. She’d always tell me about how her mother gave it to her on her communion and that shit was pretty fucking twisted but not as twisted as my dick after the prude Christian started dry fucking me with a pair of cords on. I am telling you that this girl had a high school, pants-on rule and those fucking brown cords were not coming off. I don’t know if you have ever had had a girl in brown cords grind your cock, but my shit was fucking ripped up for a month and while other people were getting blowjobs, I was tending to an infected cock…What I wouldn’t give to have those days back again…that’s how much my life sucks…

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

Some days I don’t actually sleep and I feel pretty beat-up. Today is one of those days. I went out to get some air because it smells in here and I am not about to clean and started talking to a girl who had only been drunk once in her life. I didn’t really understand it because I’ve been drunk for the last 20 years or so. I told her that she’d probably have a lot more fun if she drank, then she told me that she loves life and that she doesn’t need to drink so I said that there’s no fun in loving life, all the fun comes from being a jaded washed-up motherfucker. I also told her she’d be a lot hotter if she was drunk, or at least if I was drunk and she asked me to leave her store.

Here are some links for you to get through your night. Cuddles.

GIrl in Bra with Stupid Glasses
GO

Carmen Electra and Alison Sweeney Fall Down
GO

Slutty Girl Walking the Dog and Showing Her TIts
GO

Send Britney Spears a Get Well Soon Message, See Other People’s Messages, Good Fuckin’ Times
GO

Kelly Carlson Flashes her Ass
GO

Some Hot Czech Chick Posing All Naked and Shit
GO

Ron Jeremy Birthday Video
GO

Skinny Girl on the Beach in a Bikini in January VIdeo
GO

Crazy Hungarian Rapper
GO

Fleshflick – Mother – Daughter – Interracial Threesome
GO

Tila Tequila Cam Show
GO

3 Chicks in Beaters and Panties Makes Me Happy
GO

Keeley Hazell Topless in Malibu Video
GO

Fergie In Maxim
GO

Bitch Named Carmella Bing Posing and Stripping
GO

More Kimmy Stewart Sitll Ugly Pics
GO

WWE Diva’s Playboy Pillow Fight Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Japanese Man Gets Killed By A Whale He Was Trying to Save Video
GO

Hot Car Show Girls Video
GO

Lesbian Hipsters Pee Standing Up Video – AMAZING
GO

Some Gisele in a Bikini Pics I will Probably Post on Tonight
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Nicole Richie is Addicted to ADD Medication that Suppresses Appetites
GO

Steven Segal Singing Video
GO

Hot Cam Girl of the Day
GO

Go Hard or Go Home, VIdeo of People Doing Stupid Shit
GO

Argument Turns Into a Chick Fight
GO

Asian Girl Peeing in the Sink
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Gene WIlder Looks Ok for a 73 Year Old with Cancer
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Nasty Bitch Exposes her INSANELY HUGE Tit
GO

J-Lo Was Always Overrated, Here She is With Her Husband
GO

Some Fat Bitch Singing Like a Virgin
GO

Mam Pissing Through Her Pants
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Jessica Alba in a Bikini Comilation Video
GO

Some Boy Lookin’ Girl Drip Dryin on the Toilet
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart in Video
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Rachel McAdam’s Tits
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Girl Trying to Take a Shit Video
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Hot Adriana Lima in Her Underwear Pics
GO

Hey Pretty, You’re Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Girl Peeing at the Mall For Mikeyyyyy
GO

Lily Peeing On the Street While Drunk
GO

Girl Drinking a Corona Bottle Full of Piss
GO

Megan Fox Looks Hot
GO

Girls Peeing in the Dark While Drunk
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

2 Friends Beathing Each Other Up
GO

Help Hot Bitches Sunbathing Game I didn’t Play
GO

Drunk College Chicks on Stage
GO

Some Slut Named Ana Faris
GO

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty Pictures of the Day
GO

Hot Ass Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Daydreaming of a Public Pee of the Day

8 Comments »

I think I have allergies because I live in a disgusting dirty apartment with an inch of shit on the floor, but not actual shit, this apartment has water. There was a time when I was living in an abandoned building with a couple of friends that had running water for the first 2 months we were there, but then the city cut us off and we were forced to shit in the corner. It wasn’t so bad at first because we’d cover it with newspaper like we were puppies, but the more people came over and crashed, the higher the pile got…the smell was pretty fucking sick, but drinking always made it go away….

Anyway, in this time of distress, I like to daydream about a man peeing in public, free from all conventions society imposes on us, like toilets and public washrooms…Sometimes it’s just nice to feel free….

What you don’t see in this video is when the guy goes fucking insane on us for taking his picture, he was threatening to kill me because I was invading his privacy and shit, too bad his dick was hangin out of his pants and he couldn’t really make a move, next time I’ll remember that and capture the shame in his eyes as he loses it on me. Cuddles.

Posted in:stepDAYDREAM|stepTV|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Caprice’s Box of the Day

1 Comment »

See, I am capable of making shitty blogger jokes too. I don’t always have to write paragraphs of stories and observations to bore you with. I hope you are happy people who have been complaining about my posts being too long. If you missed the joke, the title of this post is called Caprice’s Box. I remember when this slut was a hot fucking number. Her tits would be in every celebrities nude website I could get my hand on and I have to admit when times were tough I resorted to jerking off to her. It wasn’t really jerking off, it was more like raping myself, because my mind screamed no but my hand just went where it wanted. I don’t get boners anymore, so were cool. The closest thing I get to raping myself is when I shove my wives rolled quarters in my ass to smuggle them out of the house to buy cigars. Yes. I steal from my wife. Fuck you for judgin’ me…Asshole.

Posted in:Caprice|Unsorted

2007

15

Mar

I am – Caprice's Box of the Day

No Comments »

See, I am capable of making shitty blogger jokes too. I don’t always have to write paragraphs of stories and observations to bore you with. I hope you are happy people who have been complaining about my posts being too long. If you missed the joke, the title of this post is called Caprice’s Box. I remember when this slut was a hot fucking number. Her tits would be in every celebrities nude website I could get my hand on and I have to admit when times were tough I resorted to jerking off to her. It wasn’t really jerking off, it was more like raping myself, because my mind screamed no but my hand just went where it wanted. I don’t get boners anymore, so were cool. The closest thing I get to raping myself is when I shove my wives rolled quarters in my ass to smuggle them out of the house to buy cigars. Yes. I steal from my wife. Fuck you for judgin’ me…Asshole.

Posted in:Caprice|Unsorted