Anastacia is some David Hasselhoff of a singer who is from here but famous on the other side of the world and these are old pictures of her in a bikini. The same dude who sent in the 4 year old Atomic Kitten pics sent these into me. I guess he’s cleaning out his hard drive and since my celeb paparazzi source is fucking boring today, I figured I’d make all you perverts happy with some dirty russian name sounding ass.. Speaking of Rats, Here’s MUNG’s Latest Post on being a Lab Rat….I only know that because that’s the subject line in the email, it’s not like i’d every read his smut, but you will. Cuddles.

It’s Friday and I am fucking bored out of my fucking mind. I am trying to think of plans for this weekend, but I have none. Usually my weekend involves a bucket of KFC, a 6 pack of “Yankee Jim”, and 6 or 7 vigorous masturbation sessions to the newest PornoTube videos dispersed in between marathon sessions of PS2. No wonder I am a 27 year old “born-again virgin” who lives in his parents basement. My life is sad. More sad than every reader on this site. Just when you think your life sucks, call me and I will be sure to make you feel better about your life, by telling you a story about mine. I should never have quit my job at A&W. My lifelong dream of becoming a professional blog poster just doesn’t pay well enough and I am not seeing any fortunes in the near future. The only way I am able to make money is to become a drug testing lab rat. So in hopes of becoming rich, I have decided that every Friday I will try a different drug and then post about it on this website the following morning or afternoon (whenever I wake up). This weekend’s drug of choice will be “hash oil”. The only reason that “hash oil” is the drug of choice this weekend is because my hippy friend Patterson stopped by and dropped some off for me this morning and I had to get it on spot because I only have $3.00 dollars to my name. So tonight, I will smoke the entire 20 dollar vial to myself and I will write a post about it tomorrow morning (or afternoon) whenever I decide to drag my overweight ass out of bed. If all 6 of you think this is a good idea, then leave your comments here and let me know. As the weeks progress, the drugs will get harder, the stories will be funnier, and I will be one step closer to killing myself and making all of you readers happier.

Smooches,

MUNG

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Someone sent me in some concert pictures of Atomic Kitten, some girl pop group who I don’t think even exists anymore, they are dancing around in their bras and since it’s Friday and I can’t find anything good to post so I decided to post them even if they are 4 years old.

I figure since you haven’t been with a woman in the last 4 years, this will bring back memories of the last time you had your way with a women. It was college, you were a virgin, she was drunk and thought you were her boyfriend. You went along with it, because you had never seen a vagina in person before and you knew that her confusion about who you being her boyfriend meant an instant in, literally. So she passes out her bed, and you lift up her skirt and pull down her panties, you are unsure of what to do so you decide to get on top of her. You try to slide your pathetic cock inside her dry box but end up cumming all over her belly at which point she wakes up, throws up all over you, realizes you aren’t her boyfriend and kicks you out. It could have been worse, she was a hefty girl and probably could have kicked your ass. Either way, you were almost there, you almost stuck it in a cunt and you patted yourself on the back knowing that next time you’ll get it done proper. Four years later, there still hasn’t been a next time and that drunk girl was the closest thing you’ve had to sex. We call her your golden moment. Meaning that in no time, you’ll end up becoming a rapist or school bus driver or Kimveering a school. Just delete your internet history, because I don’t want to be implicated in your bullshit. Thanks in advance asshole.

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So I emailed AM last night, hoping that it would go to his 2-way, which I know it did. He didn’t respond. I emailed this dude from Vegas who used to email me pics of his mexican GF naked, and who knew AM personally in attempts to get AMs number. He didn’t want to give it to me. This is what he said:

dude, i love your style but a.m. is a golden guy. he’s straight-edge,
harmless and classy. and ego-less.

we’re cut from a different cloth.

let’s rip on the bullshit artists. there are so-o-o-o many.

I don’t think I was trying to rip into AM, I just wanted to milk the g-list celeb connections that I found out I don’t have last night. I was also supposed to throw the first stepPARTY in Montreal on November 4th with Mickey Avalon. My two organizers fucked up and didn’t secure any money and I am not about to organize a party. I am 35, agoraphobic and broke, the last thing I know how to do is throw hipster parties. I wasn’t even going to attend the fucking thing, I just wanted my named attached. I still think it was a good idea though. So if anyone out there wants to take over – let me know.

Either way, I don’t know what else to write about. I have officially have writer’s block. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. Luckily I have MUNG and his shitty submissions to fill up this stepLINKS post.

To celebrate the new spirit of the “drunkenstepfather” website, I too have decided to do a post about child stars for all the peds out there. Only I have decided to do my post about a useless child cunt named JoJo. This pathetic excuse for a child star always shows her beautiful little child star face at all the Teen Choice Awards but I never heard a fucking song even written by this hairless teen. How is she in the spotlight? My guess is that she gives music executives blowjobs and fingers their ass while having bukkake sessions with entertainment moguls. Her mother and father probably whore her out to the media so she can make Mommy and Daddy millions, and all the poor little girl has to do is take a few inches of executive cock in her ass.

The worst part about this tight little slut is that she has no talent whatsoever (so I have heard). How do children like her make it big? She must be a pro at swallowing and swapping cum and taking it in her hairless axe wound. I kinda wish I was a music executive that way I could sit in my glass office on the 32nd floor of Sony, getting blowjobs from pre-teen girls while having a group of them make out and finger-fuck each other while I whack off using their tears as lubrication.

Check out her myspace you fucking peds and send her messages about giving it to her in her ass.
Also, have a listen to her music while you wack off to her pictures. I did, and her screaming reminds me of the sound she would make as I forced my pathetic excuse inside of her.

Be sure to send her a stalker message and tell her you love her. HERE

Speaking of the worst post ever, here are some shitty links of the day for all you fuckers to click on….MUNG, I am just teasing dude, I didn’t actually read what you wrote, I am sure it’s quite lovely and compared to what I write it can’t be bad. It’s a whole Kate Moss and her Unkown Fat Friend Situation….

Here are some pictures of the day:

Avril

Paris

Mena Suvari

Heather Graham and Petra

Christina Aguilera and Jew

Vincent Gallo

Victoria Beckham

Hilary Duff

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I stole 10 more dollars from my wife’s purse today so that I could treat myself to an over-priced Starbuck’s latte. I always feel like a poofter when I order a latte, the name is so gay that even if it was made with testosterone and came with a free vagina to fuck voucher, it would still be gay. Either way, I went to get myself a Latte and walked by some old lady begging for change. Two 18 year old fat Jewish girls who were drinking their obnoxious Starbucks drink, wearing their obnoxious Jewish outfits of the day, talking about their obnoxious rich girl lives walked right by her as if she wasn’t even there. That really bothered me, because I knew they both had 300 dollar a week allowances and they couldn’t even acknowledge this woman. I got to thinking that I would never forget where I came from. I know the old lady obviously doesn’t want to be out there in the rain doing that, she’s had to suck up her pride because she needed to eat. Right then and there, I told myself that I wasn’t going to let this Internet Stardom or my fanbase of 4 take away my soul or my perspective, so I decided to give her the change, my last 5 dollars that wasn’t even mine. Even if I have nothing, I would rather help someone out than treat myself to luxury items like I was going to with that 5 dollars, that was going to go toward cigars or a 40 of beer. Point being that when I left the starbucks, the old hag was no where in site, so I got to keep my 5 dollars. I wish she woulda stuck around, it would have given this post a purpose and who knows, maybe I woulda got a blowjob out of it.

Speaking of blowjobs and charity, here are some new pics of Lohan….who gives blowjobs and gets work which is kinda like charity…or not. Cuddles

Lohan at Heathrow:

Lohan at a Restaurant Called Morimoto

Lohan at a Club Called Tenjune

Lohan at Some Fashion Show

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I just finished writing a post about the school shooter named Kim. I quoted his online journal/blog and had links to his pics and shit and I decided to pull it because I don’t want to give this loser anymore media coverage than he already has. I know saying that I am a media outlet is pretty fucking obnoxious considering I only have 4 readers, but even sending one of you to this cunt’s page is more than he deserves. He didn’t school shoot for the sake of no one hearing his name, this was his attempt to get into everyone’s home to get whatever useless point he had across. This was a publictity stunt that took the life of a cute 18 year old girl and it’s all pretty horrible.

Speaking of horrible here are some pictures of Kate Moss with her fat manager. I guess she is a Paris Hilton type who surrounds herself with ugly people to be the prettiest in the group or maybe maybe this fat bitch is actually average sized and hot and only looks fat and ugly next to Kate Moss.

Bonus – Some Pics of Kate Moss and Winona Ryder on a Meeting to the “I had Sex With Johnny Depp” club.

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I just finished writing a post about the school shooter named Kim. I quoted his online journal/blog and had links to his pics and shit and I decided to pull it because I don’t want to give this loser anymore media coverage than he already has. I know saying that I am a media outlet is pretty fucking obnoxious considering I only have 4 readers, but even sending one of you to this cunt’s page is more than he deserves. He didn’t school shoot for the sake of no one hearing his name, this was his attempt to get into everyone’s home to get whatever useless point he had across. This was a publictity stunt that took the life of a cute 18 year old girl and it’s all pretty horrible.

Speaking of horrible here are some pictures of Kate Moss with her fat manager. I guess she is a Paris Hilton type who surrounds herself with ugly people to be the prettiest in the group or maybe maybe this fat bitch is actually average sized and hot and only looks fat and ugly next to Kate Moss.

Bonus – Some Pics of Kate Moss and Winona Ryder on a Meeting to the “I had Sex With Johnny Depp” club.

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I feel like I don’t post enough pictures of teenage girls. I know that my YouTube videos are all of underage girls dancing, but I only post those as filler. I have some pervert who sends me in 5 youtube videos a day and I’ve repeatedly said I don’t have standards, I post everything. So dude’s a bit of a potential sex offender and I guess I am one by extension so in living up to what everyone expects of me I decided to turn this site into a teen celebrity watching site with teen nip slips, teen panty upskirts, teen public drunkeness and teen pregnancy. Here’s my first post, it’s on the bitch from the Harry Potter movies, I don’t know her name, but surprise surprise she’s British….I’d like to talk about how nicely her breasts are coming in and whether she’s had her first kiss with her boyfriend yet…I’m thinking she’s a Jew Camp blow job queen like many teens, but who knows, maybe she’s all about getting on all fours and taking it in her ass to retain her virginity. I guess celebrity bitches grow up faster than normal teenagers, so maybe she’s already had sex, maybe she’s had orgies, maybe her manager and director of the movies used to rub one out on her face when pretended that she was sleeping in her witch outfit because Hollywood types are weird like that…it’s all speculation but either way she’s definitely a slut in whatever she does. So leave comments please, I’d love to see how you feel about the new direction of the site…..Cuddles you fucking cocksuckers….

PS – I had an argument with an advisor about whether or not I should post this. We decided that since 14 is legal in Canada and she’s 16, I am 2 years in the clear. However, we agreed that this post may be very damaging to this site and to me because Americans are scared of teenagers because you can get arrested for that shit. But she’s not naked so I figure I may get investigated by not arrested….in which case I say Hi F.B.I. and remind you all that this is just a joke…

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