I got bad news that someone important to me has cancer in 6 places, and I hate putting my life out there for you fuckers to rip into, but it’s the reality. I have to leave town tonight and I won’t have internet access for the next 2 days. I am going to do what I can to get to an Internet Cafe or something to throw something up here for you fuckers, but if you are still reading this in 2 days, it’s not because I died, and it’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I am not near a computer. I would rather be here rocking my keyboard like Liberace plays the piano, but real life duties are a little more important. So got shitty news today and what better way to celebrate shitty than to bring you shitty links….

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Before my walk, I would like to say, that MUNG is a disappointment, not only to family and friends, but also to 1000s of people he doesn’t know from the Internet. At least you are coming to terms with fact that you are attracted to cock. I knew a guy who was a total fag, but he hid it with being the Football quarterback through highschool and dated the hot slut from our class. By the time he was 22 he started dating women who would treat him like their bitch, there were lesbians without vagina or someshit, and he became their vaginna. Anyway when he was 25 he finally started fucking men dressed like women, because it made it easier to accept – and that continued til he was 30. By 30, Mr Quarterback was choosing curtains and linens with his life partner at Pottery Barn, if you get what I am saying. If not, let me put it like this. MUNG is HOMO.

NEWSFLASH! I didn’t see anything on CNN, hear anything on the radio, or read anything in the newspaper but apparently over the weekend they developed a space-age camera that turns hideous trannies into somewhat attractive women. There is one downfall though! The pictures can only be processed in black and white and sometimes the pictures come out with grotesque moles all over the picture of the new body.

With that being said, I would do PINK if she actually was this hot…but she isn’t. She has a 12′ penis with big hairy testicles, an adam’s apple, and I heard she farts a lot in bed.

MUNG

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I figure that since celebrity bloggers get big by making up celebrity catch phrase names, that I would start giving the celebritites no one really cares about catch phrase names, like this slag Evaginaline Lilly. So here are some pictures of Evaginaline Lilly in her bathing suit bottoms showing the world how disgusting her midget mexican looking legs are. This bitch is built to last in that rough Mexican Climate, she’s built Ford Strong in the Mexican Ford Factory, she’s built to carry more Tortillas down the mountain than you, and have many criminal babies while riding donkies and drinking tequila. Point of all this is to say she’s sturdy, hard to push over, not that you’d want to because you know she’s fucked a midget. Not that I’d care, I’d fuck a midget, I’d also fuck ethnic people with study lesbionic looking legs. I have no stories yet, I am going on a walk to clear my mind and look for funny. Like yesterday’s walk where I saw a rapist looking homeless man with his dog, rocking an acid washed jacket and watching little kids play in the park. He started staring me down and there’s nothing comfortable about some rapist looking homeless man I had never seen before giving me the death eyes. So I started rubbing my man titties, like I do in all awkward situations.

Love

Jesus

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I haven’t been on the computer all day, because it’s thanksgiving and I am too busy eating apples. If you are wondering why I am eating apples on thanksgiving, it is because apple picking is some french tradition to do on thanksgiving. I had never heard of it, but my fat french wife made me take her daughters because she’s pretty much unable to leave the appartment due to eating one too many candy apples in her fat useless life. I don’t have a car so I had to convince this sketchy molester of a neighbor to come with me in exchange for a pair of my stepdaughter’s used panties. I’d go into more details about how I got to pet a pony and how I have a 7 dollar bag with 75 apples that I picked next to me, but the whole experience was as boring as it sounds. I did get catch a lesbian couple with a baby going at it behind an apple tree and I did get lost lost amongst 3000 french people next to some maple syrup store.

Speaking of boring, useless and lesbian…here’s a picture of DJ AM with a black eye. I guess someone else realized that he’s a cunt.

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I haven’t been on the computer all day, because it’s thanksgiving and I am too busy eating apples. If you are wondering why I am eating apples on thanksgiving, it is because apple picking is some french tradition to do on thanksgiving. I had never heard of it, but my fat french wife made me take her daughters because she’s pretty much unable to leave the appartment due to eating one too many candy apples in her fat useless life. I don’t have a car so I had to convince this sketchy molester of a neighbor to come with me in exchange for a pair of my stepdaughter’s used panties. I’d go into more details about how I got to pet a pony and how I have a 7 dollar bag with 75 apples that I picked next to me, but the whole experience was as boring as it sounds. I did get catch a lesbian couple with a baby going at it behind an apple tree and I did get lost lost amongst 3000 french people next to some maple syrup store.

Speaking of boring, useless and lesbian…here’s a picture of DJ AM with a black eye. I guess someone else realized that he’s a cunt.

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I am in Canada and that means that it is a long weekend, not that I deserve a long weekend because everyday feels like a weekend as is. That’s nothing to be jealous of, it basically means I am a waste of space. I run this site for a “living” and make no money doing it, but at least I don’t have to rock an alarm clock.

I went out for lunch with a friend of mine, one of those guys who lives in the gutter but has rich parents and is trying to make a point guys, you know lives on the street for 6 months, until his dad dies and he inherits the family business and wipes off his feces covered brow and puts on a suit and puts his Ivy league education to the test and turns daddy’s business into a multi-million dollar busines kind of guys.

Anyway, we end up a this trendy breakfast place where all these amazingly hot french girls in stylish outfits are eating…we sit at a table next to some busted up pick-up truck of a woman who keeps staring at our table and laughing like a lunatic. I start to feel awkward because of my social anxiety and hatred of freaks and decide to keep my eye on her….She starts to twitch like she’s getting punched in the fucking box, starts laughing again and then starts rubbing/scratching herself all over her white soiled jogging suit…After an hour of sitting next to her and she hasn’t taken a bite of her food, she stands up to walk out, and her whole back is covered in a red rash.

Normally rashes turn me on but this time I thought her scabies jumped onto me and for the last 3 days, I’ve been making my wife inspect.

Speaking of twitcy crackwhores with rashes….here’s a picture of Fergie from the cover of Oct. 19th Rolling Stone…..

Now you can wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and go fuck yourself. Cuddles….

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This is the type of email I get on a daily basis. I decided to post it here for you all to give me your suggestions and lovemaking tips for guys who want bigger penis. I will compile all the best comments and email them to him. Together we will see if we get published in an e-book.

If some of the comments are really good, maybe we’ll start a collective drunkenstepfather.com ebook.

If you are wondering who the girl in the pics are, she’s from Myspace, but I don’t know her myspace URL but I do know she has wack style…

Hiya!

My name is James Goodman. Incase you don’t know me I’ve written a lot of articles and two eBooks on penis enlargement.

Like you, I’m always looking for new ways to increase the number of guys I’m helping and so I’m currently compiling an e-Book of tips and ideas on how guys can make their dicks bigger or improve their lovemaking abilities generally. These tips are intended for guys actively seeking penis enlargement.

I understand you are someone who is knowledgeable about this subject and would therefore invite you to take a few moments to write down some of your best tips and ideas. Please only send content that you own the intellectual rights to.

I will be selling the e-Book through ClickBank and although I cannot offer you payment for your content, I can give you a free copy of the e-Book once it is finished with free resale rights. It will be a win-win situation for us all. I will get free content and you’ll get an e-Book packed full of new tips and ideas that you can then sell on to your customers or give it away for free. Also, feel absolutely free to plug your web site or business underneath your tips. Just imagine, if this e-Book is a best seller, everyone who downloads this e-Book will see your ad and possibily buy your product.

After I receive your replies I will compile them into one e-Book. I may or may not use all of your tips and if I feel I need to edit any of the tips I will contact you to get final approval and permission.

Sincerely,

James Goodman.
Enlargement Reviews.

PS. I will need the tips by 28th October 2006 or I won’t be able to use them. Also, you’ll lose out on your free copy of the e-Book and a plug for your website.

PPS. If you know anyone else who might also be interested in contributing please also forward them my offer.

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I am so excited for the Borat movie, because it means everyone and their fucking mother is going to start quoting Borat, just like they did with Napolean Dynamite. This is going to be the next Chuck Norris joke, the next American Apparel T-shirt, the Next Eskimo Boots, the next cocaine, the next electro music, the next hip hop, the next calling your friends “bitch” or saying “that’s hot”. The Borat movie is going the be the equivalent of calling Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes “Tom Kat”, calling Brad and Angelina “brangelina”, “bennifer”, you know, perez hilton is the new I suck dick cuz my daddy hated me and never took me to a fucking baseball game is the new I have raw dog anal cuz I am high blog….Point being that Borat will breed immitators and immitators have also bothered me some. But this time I will probably just laugh it off, because let’s face it, Borat is some kind of funny. See how I took a hate filled entry I spun it around to be something so beautiful. My government funded therapist would be proud. I working through this shit…speaking of shit….here are my links of the day…. CUDDLES!!

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MUNG likes to bring his taste of Canadiana to this site. Dude reminds me of everything I hate about this place. The parties in the field behind the barn, the throwing horse piss/shit/cum in each other’s face while running down the halls of the highschool like we were Johan Meyer and I am not talking stuffing Jessica Simpson like the “CANADIAN THANKSGIVING TURKEY” John Meyer, I am talking hick trash who fucked his sister when she was 12 cuz it felt good, who lives in the suburbs and works a shitty job to pay for tickets to the fishing competition while eating maple syrup and drinking beer while riding a moose and rocking a beaver hat with some dude you call “BUDDY”….

Either way…To make the post better I posted those Johannson in Flaunt Mag for you fucks to jerk off to. Remember, Dita Von Tease is disgusting and looks like she’s going to be the next school shooter….

Here’s what he has to say..

Someday I plan on finding the right woman and getting married. It won’t be soon, because I don’t have a job and the only ring I can afford comes battered and is usually served with a cheeseburger. With that being said I sure hope that my wife looks as good as Anna Nicole Smith did at her wedding. Wow, is she ever beautiful! By beautiful, I mean hideously repugnant. I hope my bride-to-be’s face looks like a beaten in catcher’s mitt, and hopefully her hair has the texture of a mop head used to clean up a strip club dancefloor, while her beautifully tanned body has the strikingly gorgeous hue of a moldy tangerine. Just have a good luck at this picture and pray that you never wake up and roll over beside a creature that looks like this. If would rather run a marathon with forks in my thighs than to wake up to something that even remotely resembled this lizard of a woman.

Have a good Thanksgiving you unthankful fucks!

MUNG

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