So I am posting pictures of some random UK Socialite who was on some UK Reality TV show called Celebrity Love Island. The reason I am posting her pictures are to compliment this amazing email that I got:

Dear Jesus,

I figure you are the only one I can talk to about this as you are the dirtiest motherfucker out there and even you wont judge me for this. Anyway as a kid I never knew my mother she ran off when I was 3 and never told us where she went, So my Dad raised me he was pretty cool and tought me everything I know.

I’ve had this girl that I’ve been fucking for about a year we will call her Annie she is real hot. This girl loves me but she isnt really girlfriend material although I dont think any woman is at this point, a great lay none the less. I have fucked this girl every way you can think of; she is ultra dirty. she lives in the same apartment building as me which makes it even more convenient.

One night I went home and ran into annie in the hall. She was more than willing to have me over. After fucking the life out of her she passed out. I decided to take a look around her place, because I had only been there a few times. We usually hooked up at my place because she had a roomate. Anyway, I went to her vanity and looked at some pictures.

I saw one of her family and moved in for a closer look and there in the picture giving her a big hug was her mother who also happened to be that bitch of whore who looked a lot like my deadbeat mother, I had a double take for a moment but I could never forget what she looked like, I mean she was older but it was definatly her. You can imagine the shock that just came over me at this point. Not only had I found my long lost mother who I have hated for leaving us but I also just fucked the shit out of my sister. As you can imagine I had some conflicting emotions. I picked up my gear and went back to my place to drink myself stupid.

I didnt know what to do about this I felt like a piece of garbage. But in the midst of all that self hatred I was suddenly hit with a fantastic idea. The best idea Ive ever had.

So, the next day I went to see Annie and asked if she wanted to go on a date, she looked confused at first as I had always avoided doing anything with that didnt invole my penis. I swore I was serious she was excited to say the least. A few weeks down the line she brought me to meet her family, Are you starting to catch on, I went into her house I wasnt sure if Mom would recognize me. When I walked in I introduced myself and she looked at me funny, she mentioned that I did look familiar but Im sure she couldnt place it.
As the night went on and I told her family more and more about me and my family Mom screamed out and there was a silence in the room. She looked right at me and asked me my last name. I told her with a big smile, her face dropped but she didnt say anything at that time. Later that night she confronted me in the kitchen. I simply laughed at her and told her if she didnt want her new family to know the truth she would have to pay in the meantime I would break off my relationship with her daughter/my sister haha. she agreed, since then I have paid off all my school loans and bought a new car. Last month I decided she put more hurt on me as a kid so I sent childhood pictures of myself with Mom to her whole family with a letter explaining what had happened.

I knew you the stepfather could appreciate this story.
Vic

See I figured I needed to post pictures of known groups of incestuous people, like the Royal Family and the Jews. I realize now that being a Lady doesn’t make you part of the Royal family – so all this makes really no sense. I hope you read that email. It was a good fucking story by my standards, and I have no standards. Cuddles.

Bonus – Same Bitch at the Airport. Her 5 minutes are up:

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I posted on David Beckham’s Mistress Yesterday Now I will Post His Wife: I don’t really give a fuck about UK celebrities, or any celebrities for that matter, I post this shit to get traffic, but there’s something about Posh spice that I can’t get enough of. I think it’s funny to see a Spice Girl 6 years after I used to rub one out to the “I tell you what I want, What I really really want” Video. That was before the fat wife and before the impotency. Speaking of not fucking your wife, this bitch married a homosexual to help cover-up his homosexuality, had his babies through artificial insemination because gays are scared of babies and box, in exchange for fame and fortune and a life of luxury that will last much longer than her SpiceMoney. The arrogance in her strut proves that she knows she will never have to pretend to sing shitty songs again and all she has to do for work is help some national soccer hero keep up appearance.

I know everyone out there rips into bitch for being a skeleton or an alien and I am sure lame bloggers like Trerez Pinkilton is the New I Take It Up the Ass Raw Dog While on a Crystal Meth Binge have some lame nickname for her like they Brangelina, Vaughiston and Bennifer but I am out of the loop on gay celebrity blogger cliches. So I’ll just call her sunshine face of love.

Speaking of terms of endearment, this is the myspace message I’ve been sending out to girls lately:

Body: Dear ___________,
You’re ___________ to me–there’s no one quite like you. You’re the one I _____, the one I want to ________. I give you my _______, and I ________ you so much. Give me your sweet _________; fill me with your wonderful _______; soothe my aching _______; and _______ me through the night. The mere sound of your voice summons deep ________ within Like an old familiar ________ like the comfort of a _______. When you’re near, I’m lost to thoughts of ______ as you touch me with a _______ that’s as grand as stars above. I want to hold your _____. I hunger for your ______. Offer me sweet tidings of true love’s tender bliss. I promise our _______ shall _____, carried on the wings of a ______. So give me your _______, and bless me with your _____.

With Love,
Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

It hasn’t been getting any responses….

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I tried doing my laundry today, not that I have that much because of the whole being poor and a slob thing, but there is always a time when the stink of my own dirty clothes annoys me as I type and my wife’s not about to get off her ass to wash my shit, she can barely get to the bathroom to take a shit and there’s nothing worse than sitting at the computer and being able to smell your feet, ass and balls. Either way, I brought my shit to the laundry room in the piece of shit building I live in, I put in a load and when I went back down I saw a pair of boxers lying on the ground. I figured they were mine and threw them in the dryer with my other clothes. When It came to taking my shit out of the my dryer and folding it, I pulled out the underwear and realized that they weren’t mine a they were covered in shit, actual shit. That means I picked up a pair of shit covered underwear with my bare hands, underwear that belonged to someone other than me and threw them in the dryer with my clean clothes because I am a fucking idiot. All my clothes were covered in some random dude’s shit. Thanks to the dryer, it was cooked on and I had to wash my clothes again and now I am out $3 and this story isn’t that interesting, like most of my stories and my links of the day…I suck at life but at least Oprah is talking about donuts. Seems kind of appropriate. Now, Click Thems Links.

If you want to get something linked email me….I link everything.

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Anna Nicole Smith’s 20 year old son died mysteriously. It is assumed that it was suicide. It’s a tragedy even if the bitch is too medicated to realize that the son who’s father she only met once and who she neglected his entire life when marrying 90 year old billionaires and posing for playboy is dead. I can go on all day ripping into this bitch, but won’t cuz death is sad, but I am not gonna lie when I say that it looks like Corky used to like watching mommy shower / breast feed/ sleep / rock out in a bikini / spill water on herself / if you know what I mean…..and it’s not technically incest fantasy if he never knew her as his mother when growing up, if she was just that slag from Playboy that she was to the rest of us. It must of been a shocker the day they were reunited and he realized that he had been rubbin one out to her for the last 4 years of his life…..

Mung sent in another post about this and I decided to post it because it means less work for me and being who I am, less work makes me happy and by happy, I mean a little less depressed than usual. I know that none of you actually read this site anyway, so I could be posting erotic fag stories and no one would know the difference. Mung is wasting his time but seeing as he’s into wasting of time and erotic fag stories, I am going to post this for him, leave comments and start a war. Cuddles.

Alright you fuckheads. I better bring my fucking “A-game” this time because you fucking assholes depressed the fuck out of me this weekend. I try to write posts for you guys and you just tear it apart because you say they are too long. You guys made me extremely sad because it has always been my lifelong goal to become a douchebag who reads a shitty website and does a daily post that losers can read because they have nothing else to do with their pathetic lives. You made me contemplate suicide a few times this weekend, but I realized I would probably fuck it up just like everything else I do in my life. This is my second post and it probably won’t get posted because it sucks more than the first one but it’s shorter to just appease the masses that visit this website on a daily basis.

Due to my suicide contemplation this weekend I decided to dedicate this pathetic post to Anna Nicole Smith’s son who died on the weekend according to her website.

They think it may be caused from excessive alcohol abuse or drug abuse. My guess is he killed himself because Anna Nicole Smith was his mom. Having her as a mother would be pretty terrible. If people in your school or on your sports team knew that she was your mom they would probably stone you to death or pistol whip the fuck out of you just being the son of a useless cunt.

MUNG

PS – Just because I post this, doesn’t mean I think it’s good.

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Anna Nicole Smith’s 20 year old son died mysteriously. It is assumed that it was suicide. It’s a tragedy even if the bitch is too medicated to realize that the son who’s father she only met once and who she neglected his entire life when marrying 90 year old billionaires and posing for playboy is dead. I can go on all day ripping into this bitch, but won’t cuz death is sad, but I am not gonna lie when I say that it looks like Corky used to like watching mommy shower / breast feed/ sleep / rock out in a bikini / spill water on herself / if you know what I mean…..and it’s not technically incest fantasy if he never knew her as his mother when growing up, if she was just that slag from Playboy that she was to the rest of us. It must of been a shocker the day they were reunited and he realized that he had been rubbin one out to her for the last 4 years of his life…..

Mung sent in another post about this and I decided to post it because it means less work for me and being who I am, less work makes me happy and by happy, I mean a little less depressed than usual. I know that none of you actually read this site anyway, so I could be posting erotic fag stories and no one would know the difference. Mung is wasting his time but seeing as he’s into wasting of time and erotic fag stories, I am going to post this for him, leave comments and start a war. Cuddles.

Alright you fuckheads. I better bring my fucking “A-game” this time because you fucking assholes depressed the fuck out of me this weekend. I try to write posts for you guys and you just tear it apart because you say they are too long. You guys made me extremely sad because it has always been my lifelong goal to become a douchebag who reads a shitty website and does a daily post that losers can read because they have nothing else to do with their pathetic lives. You made me contemplate suicide a few times this weekend, but I realized I would probably fuck it up just like everything else I do in my life. This is my second post and it probably won’t get posted because it sucks more than the first one but it’s shorter to just appease the masses that visit this website on a daily basis.

Due to my suicide contemplation this weekend I decided to dedicate this pathetic post to Anna Nicole Smith’s son who died on the weekend according to her website.

They think it may be caused from excessive alcohol abuse or drug abuse. My guess is he killed himself because Anna Nicole Smith was his mom. Having her as a mother would be pretty terrible. If people in your school or on your sports team knew that she was your mom they would probably stone you to death or pistol whip the fuck out of you just being the son of a useless cunt.

MUNG

PS – Just because I post this, doesn’t mean I think it’s good.

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If I had a life, I’d probably have a lot of shit to talk about. The flipside to that is that if I had a life, I probably wouldn’t be writing about it on this site, because I would be too busy living it. So to the 2 of you who read this, consider yourself lucky that I am too lazy to be livin’ and instead sit here writing about nothing of relevance, like how I went out to the store today to get an old hard drive, I’m talking 5 years old, fixed. The cheap Asian man at the store told me it would be 10 dollars to see if it works, I went for it because I stole a 20 spot from my fat wife, who’s disability check came in last friday. We found her passed out on the floor last night or covered in chocolate from eating my stepdaughter’s chocolates. If you’re wondering what I mean, my fucking whore of a wife snuck into my stepdaughter’s room, god knows how she managed to walk the 10 feet without dying, but yeah bitch ate all of the chocolate that her daughter is selling to raise money for her high school graduation this June. Those things are 4 dollars a bar and my wife ate about 20 of them last night when we were all sleeping. There was a huge fight at 8 am this morning when she was found and I tried to sleep through it. That’s not the point, the point is that I went to this asian dude who charged me 10 dolalrs to check my hardrive, and tried to sell me a case for it 43 dollars, I tried negotiating….I am going to stop this story now because it fucking sucks and this is what I am talking about when I say I have no life. I don’t do anything so I try to write about the bullshit that I do end up doing here and it sucks….Speaking of sucks, check out the Kate Hudson pics, I remember falling in love with her when she was 16 and featured in some homestyle magazine with her mom. The love has dwindled with the the tightness of her vagina after having a baby. Year after year the aperture becomes less and less, however, you gotta give her props for still having a tight body and a friend with a retardedly big belly button.

Her Friend’s Belly Button and Hot Ass

Bonus – Bitch Running From a Club Almost Showin’ Her Ass that Looks Like It’s Being Grabbed

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A major difference between me and a real writer is that real writers actually know how to write and get paid for it, but other than that, we’re pretty much the same fucking thing. I write about 2-12 hours a day like they do but I don’t edit my shit down like they do. They edit it down over the course of 6 months, making it tight and of quality. My problem is that I don’t edit anything and it makes each and every post garbage. Some of you love it, because you like tits and don’t actually read past the first sentence. I don’t actually want to be a writer, I do want to get paid so I was thinking that if I was to go through all my posts and edit them down maybe I’d be able to get a book deal, like a professional writer. Then I could go on book tours and a land a date with Oprah. But since it’s not really my dream and I will NEVER go to the trouble of writing a book, I am going to keep on bloggin this shit for you.

This is some slag named Rebecca Loos. I didn’t know who she was until I rocked Wikipedia….but it turns out she’s David Beckham’s assistant who he diddled while Posh was back home in the UK taking care of the kids. By taking care of the kids I mean drinking scotch and downers while yelling at the nanny to shut the little fuckers up. I assume that Loos’ tits are what Posh blames seduced Beckham, even though we all know he is gay, and that’s the reason she went out at got implants. People like Posh don’t let other people have the upper-hand, especially not if money can solve her drawbacks… I went on to write a blurb about gas chambers, rich Jews and poems that rhyme here, but it didn’t make sense here. Maybe next time I won’t edit myself down so that my 2 Jewish readers and my 1 reader with Jew Fever get mad at me. I am making no sense so just look at this whore’s semi-see-through shirt and stop complaining. Cuddles.

A few months ago I thought her name was Heather Loos and saved this picture cuz of her tits….

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