Motherfuckers are biting my rhyme – and not in a good way. I just got an email from one of my boys telling me the AIM is launching some beta site. I want all you fools to check this shit out and tell me what you see. I think I deserve some royalties on this shit, even if I never and probably can’t patent my title system. I also didn’t invent the words “I” or “am”, but I still take offense. I don’t take this shit as a compliment….it kinda makes me sad. Email your friends who work for AOL and get me my mother fuckin’ payout. I will buy you a beer. Thanks.

Biters

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I am from the school that believes that even ugly dudes are capable of landing hot pussy, mainly because even hot girls think they are useless, fat and disgusting. If a guy plays off that insecurity and makes them believe that they are not quite good enough, it becomes pretty easy to seduce. The girl will turn landing you into a priority. I just gave you the trick to getting quality pussy. Now, there is no way that this dude ever got any cooter while growing up, no matter how rich his daddy may be, so in a lot of ways he’s a lot like you, only he figured out how to switch things up, make some money and play on a loney insecure singer’s emotional instability, and look at him now. Motherfucker is buying x-tina ice cream, while you are jerking off to pics of her licking the spoon. Funny how life works out, isn’t it.

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I guess the major change pregnancy has had on Britney, other than condemning her with the worst STD Kevin Federline’s testicles could produce is the fact that she can’t walk around without a bra anymore. For the longest time I was a huge fan of no-bra behavior, but that shit ended quickly when I saw how Britney’s tits hung. The benefit of her pregnancy, is that her tits are gonna need to be covered up for a little while, and not with just any bra, we are talking about a maternity bra that’s padded so that she doesn’t lactate all over the place. I have yet to taste a woman’s breast milk, all the bitches I get with are infertile due to drug use and HPV. HPV fucks up reproduction, too bad Britney’s HPV wasn’t active when shit with Sean Preston went down. However, it still hasn’t been determined as to what retardation he’s got, and you can be pretty sure the motherfucker is autistic or some shit.

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Remember that whole sex tape scandal, where we were all invited into Paris Hilton’s hotel room to watch her get fucked like a corpse and suck dick like a school girl. Well it looks like Paris is passin’ the torch/lollipop onto some other bitch, but not for too long. like all spoiled cunts, they don’t know how to share. I remember growing up I’d go over to this white kid’s house. Dude had all the hottest toys of the time, we’d sit down to play his Atari and by we I mean him, everytime I’d take a turn he’d freak the fuck out and take that shit away from me. So it would be days of watching him play his fucking Atari while I snuck into his parent’s liquor cabinet and got drunk, either way Paris is that spoiled person, she can’t even give her fucking friend a lollipop without taking that shit back. If you really sat down and thought about it, sharing a lollipop with Paris is dangerous. That bitch doesn’t use condoms and we all saw her sucking off the crackhead’s dick. I have seen my share of crackhead cock, and dude – I am telling you – I wouldn’t be sharing a lollipop with this bitch.

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The life lesson of the day is simple. Once you’ve completed a decade stint as a coke fiend whore-fucker, land yourself an innocent, hot, young, useless celeb who only got cast in films(slash)tv for her tits, knock the bitch up and make her your young, hot , useless celeb wife. Cheat on her and embarass her in public forcing her to divorce you, because that is the only thing she can do to maintain the minimal amount of self-respect she has left, but only do so when she’s knocked up the second time. You know that her hormonal embalance will make her come to her senses when it comes to poppin’ that fucker out, because no one wants to raise a baby alone. Work your way back in the scene after the pregnancy comes to an end, tell the bitch you’re sorry and that you fucked up, and welcome back your normal family unit. That’s the life lesson of the day. Not that it will matter to any of you, you’re probably incapable of making a woman fully fall for you. Come to think of it, have you even slept with a woman yet? Virgins get no respect, unless they are girls I drive home after swim meets, but I only respect them cuz they are 16.

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The good thing about being a public idiot is that you can go out in public and act a fool and no one really realizes. The problem with being a public idiot is that when you go out and act a fool, sometimes it’s good to be informed about your insanity. Sometimes when you have a lot of money, act like a spoiled cunt and don’t listen to what anyone says, because you think they are just jealous; having a group of peers tell you to chill the fuck out is pointless, because you just won’t listen either way. It’s all about living life in ignorant bliss, doing what you think is crazy or funny, while everyone gets a burning pain in the middle of their chest with embarassment. So let this be a lesson to all you 14 year old girls out there, get rich act like an idiot, think you are the funniest thing because people are laughing, ignore the fact that they are laughing at you and continure your useless routine, because with money comes liberty and this is America motherfuckers. I don’t like hip hop as much as Paris seems to, but if I was there with Fat Joe, I’d probably be trying to win him over with a bucket of chicken. That was my racial stereotype of the day. You don’t know me.

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I got an email from some dude who is a friend of friend of this other dude who started up a blog that looks more ghetto than mine. This motherfucker is posting pics of some Internet girl and writing self-righteous journal entries that no one really gives a fuck about, but made me laugh. Dude’s writing about going out, hanging with strippers and paying some chick for sex, so he’s alright in my books for now. I know you guys don’t really know much about getting laid, or pickin’ up, or having a girl send you naked pics, but maybe if you follow this dude for a while you’ll learn something, because I am not about to teach you, I like the fact that you can’t get pussy.

It’s kinda funny how things work out. I’ve been rockin this site for 10 months and no girls wanna send me their naked pics. But this guy’s a week in and every fucking girl’s gonna be mailing their panties to him and shit. The only person who ever sent me their panties was a middle-aged man, they were soiled and I still have the picture of him wearing them. That’s just how I’m livin’ motherfuckers.

SheMeansNothing.com

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I welcome people to send me in email anytime, especially when they are hate mail, because hate mail is the shit that keeps me going. I don’t go out of my way to piss people off, but when I do, it always makes me smile. For the record, I was born in Mexico, but raised by white hicks, if my opinion on my hispanic roots is offensive, it a product of circumstance, and instead of hating on me, you should be trying to educate me on my roots, if you are lucky you may convert me, and I will become a born again Mexican, trying to take the white man down, until then, I still believe we are all lazy and drunk. Here is the email of the day. More updates tonight.

You are not a Hispanic you jerk. Your another fucking white boy like me trying to make a specific race look bad. I am White and educated and find your web site so ignorant, just like yourself. I’m sure you will try to shrug this email off, but what you can’t shrug off is that your a low life degenerative scumbag. Nobody likes you or wants to be you. Yeah we will all look at your site from time-to -time but that’s all you have . That’s all you will ever have. So hold on tight you loser because these pics of pussy you have in your blog are the closest you will ever come to the real thing. Print that mother fucker!!!!!!!!!

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Eva Longoria’s success has provided her with the luxury of being able to snorkel with all the right equipment, unlike her ancestors who were forced to use sticks, rocks and tree bark while fishing for the tribe’s food. It’s very representative of the society in which we live, that an immigrant family can experience such luxury, and I figured this positive note was a great way to start the week. The dog bone in her bikini bottoms makes us realize that you can take the girl out of the projects, but you can’t take the projects outta the girl. It’s a wholesome treat for poor people. I am sure this bitch still eats Kraft Dinner, but uses Tiffany silverwear to get the job done. Today is a day to love America

Via Jared

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Eva Longoria’s success has provided her with the luxury of being able to snorkel with all the right equipment, unlike her ancestors who were forced to use sticks, rocks and tree bark while fishing for the tribe’s food. It’s very representative of the society in which we live, that an immigrant family can experience such luxury, and I figured this positive note was a great way to start the week. The dog bone in her bikini bottoms makes us realize that you can take the girl out of the projects, but you can’t take the projects outta the girl. It’s a wholesome treat for poor people. I am sure this bitch still eats Kraft Dinner, but uses Tiffany silverwear to get the job done. Today is a day to love America

Via Jared

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