DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Jessel Pena is the Instagram Of The Day

Heather Graham’s Old Flat Ass in a Bikini of the Day

Em Rata Gets Called Out for Being a Titty Whore of the Day

Brie Larson in the Great Outdoors of the Day

Sloppy Katy Perry is Rehearsing her Awkward Dances of the Day

2021

Mar

Rita Ora’s Nipple an Asshole in a Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

You know what, I like Rita Ora!

Yes, her face looks doughy or jacked up and injected.. and no I am not selling that pic as an NFT, I just need to make ART out of paparazzi pics to not get sent lawyer’s letter…

She may be old, she may not really be famous for her music despite claiming to be a popstar and more of a it-girl by circumstance who COULD have been a popstar if the stars aligned and her record deal panned out, but instead just dated some high profile guys, went to every party, built the name, yet still no HITS…all these years later…

But she’s got great big tits…and sometimes that’s better than fulfilling the pop dream so you’re no longer some host, spokesmodel, non popstar….I mean big tits are always better than most things…

So as they sag, we will watch…and as they sag, she’ll keep trying to get that fame validated by the valet of the music industry…because right now she’s got the fame, but no one knows why…it’s confusing for us…but the tits….it always goes back to the tits are great…

To See The Rest of the Pics!! CLICK HERE

Posted in:Rita Ora

2021

Mar

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Pussy Wedgies aren’t just for the trending instagram sluts in their activewear….you know like the Jenners, Biebers, Hadids…and every other bitch following their lead…and there are A LOT of them…following their leads…despite being some of the worst, uninteresting people around…

Pussy wedgies are for EVERYONE…and I am glad that it’s a style a trend and not just a “my pants are one size too small”…because I like staring at pussy lips, knowing how fat they are, etc….it’s important…

I figure since our society no longer has a church, or a moral code, a sense of community….but instead just a distorted sense of self, as they try to be the hottest version, even blatantly faking it by using filters and fillers and photoshop, despite people who see their content being in their day to day life….at least we have PUSSY WEDGIES…

We are designed to WORSHIP some higher overlord, the source of creation and the man who has his book, so whether that has turned into the Kardashians who have replaced GOD to most Americans…or not…..my ALTER in my CHURCH is one featuring PUSSY wedgies…..something to pray to, to bow down to or kneel before…one to perform ritualistic sacrifices for or even on…assuming you think jerking off is a ritual sacrifice because you’re wasting your boner on your damn self than on some hot chick…..which I do…

(more…)

Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2021

Mar

Katharine McPhee Mom Body of the Day

No Comments »

Katharine McPhee potentially still has the scabs on her vagina from giving birth to her first child with grandfather and 80 year old David Foster, on some AGE IS JUST A NUMBER level of Anna Nicole Smith, because dude’s so accomplished in the music industry and McPhee despite being American Idol reality TV fodder, probably considers herself a legitimate musical talent within the industry, so being aligned with someone as accomplished as David Foster will be great for her career and for her future because he’ll die off and she’ll get taken care of….the Royalty checks he gets from his songs is probably on another fucking level…

That said, this wouldn’t be the first time McPhee had scars on her vagina because in the first round of celebrity leaked nudes, she was one of the targets and one of her pics was more medical and looked like it was just out of a vaginaplasty..pretty embarassing, but at least she got that designer cunt, shaved off some lip, only destroy all that by having a baby pass through it but I am sure it made FISCAL sense….or at least made sense because age is just a number and her and her geriatric are connected at the soul…until he develops dementia, starts shitting himself and she’s forced to Casey Kasem him….rich guys are a target..but then again maybe rich guy groomed her and promised her the world….these are all just a bunch of industy creeps.

The point of this post is that she’s bounced back proper, her kid only crawled out a month ago and she’s hardly as fat as most moms of 3 year olds who complain about how their bodies were wrecked by their pregnancy cuz they are lazy and eat shit….

The BONUS excitement in this for you is that her titties are filled with milk…..

Either way, POST BABY BODY REVEAL….looking alright to me.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Katharine McPhee

2021

Mar

Weed Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

I assume that all girls smoke weed, or that they should smoke weed, you know get off those anti-depressants girls, because you know most girls are on anti-depressants, you know, to reconnect with your fucking soul….as anti-depressants make you some numb, half dead, complicit fuck….all because you have bullshit anxiety, a normal emotion, because you don’t live in the wild, starving, trying to survive, hiding from predators…but you have that energy coded into you…making your suburban middle class road so scary…and your bullshit life of social media scrolling and buying she you don’t need so stressful…forcing you to work selling nudes instead of getting an actual job…you know so you don’t have to go out there in the safe but marketed as scary world….because mental health is a good excuse to tell friends and family why you sell nudes….

When all you should be doing is chilling out, smoking weed, enjoying yourself…and still selling nudes…because it allows you to be high all day…you see, you get a good excuse for your actions that’s far less irritating than Mental Health….

So I am a big weed supporter, whether I smoke weed or not, it’s barely a fucking drug and the fact that it is illegal is just bullshit….but maybe Biden will keep his word and legalize it finally…since the idea of a plant with barely aggressive properties being illegal is a fucking joke..

All this to say, here are stoner girls getting naked, and it’s fun….and you should get stoned too…it’s fun….and fun is fucking fun…you fucks…

(more…)

Posted in:Weed

2021

Mar

Michelle Monaghan White Swimsuit of the Day

No Comments »

Despite popular belief, at least my popular belief, Michelle Monaghan was not on LOST….and I have no idea why every post I’ve probably ever done on her has been about either her being on LOST, or me wrongfully thinking she was on LOST, and that’s not about to stop now…you see, I’ve never seen lost and all these actresses are the same breed of who gives a fuck, interchangeable and not exceptionally beautiful….chasing the same disgusting dream of celebrity…to have money and fans and nice things…egotistical fucks…so I hate them all equally at my core…but I’ll still stare at their asses surfing because they don’t have fuck all else to do thanks to living LA RICH…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Michelle Monaghan

2021

Mar

Phoebe Tonkin Squirts of the Day

No Comments »

Do you care about Phoebe Tonkin Squirting?

I figure no one even knows who Phoebe Tonkin is, but she’s an Australian in America living that American Hollywood dream that so many American dream of, but that some Australian is living for them, you know like a SCAB at the mill when you’re out there on strike, just moving in on your turf like so many Australians before….a cockroach of a species…all nomadic and planting their hot bodied, outgoing, drunken, party girls around the fucking globe….

But she’s squirting…in her own way….not the squirt you may want, but we all need clickbait headlines to survive…motherfuckers…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Phoebe Tonkin

2021

Mar

Kristin Cavallari Tan Lines of the Day

No Comments »

I didn’t give a fuck about Kristin Cavallari when she was on Laguna Beach, so I sure as fuck don’t care about her now that she’s some 35 year old plastic surgery ridden mom of a bunch of kids with some rich pro athlete, all looking like some Orange County mom who spends her day at spin class and the mall in Newport Beach or some shit…you know useless rich people in G-Class Mercedes living their own life of Luxury like all their peers, only trying to do it better than all their peers, and I guess Cavallari has the competitive advantage at her mom meet-ups, because she was on TV and the other moms all watched her in the tabloids making her king rich mom of the group….I just hate that vibe, it’s the worst mainstream shit around….but she’s in a one piece…an old mom with plastic surgery in a one piece…not the porno I subscribed to…but I’ll post it anyway…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari

2021

Mar

Bella Thorne Short Skirt of the Day

No Comments »

I’ve been waiting for this moment for all my life….but not really, I mean not a chunkier Bella Thorne who is probably pregnant, or just quit the working out, now that she’s engaged and now that it’s “cool to not care”…and she does anything and everything she can to maintain her level of cool with her audience….she’s Disney Trained and every move they make with her, assuming she’s got handlers, which I do, because I know how hard it is to just update a stupid site daily, without any social media, while this girl has an agency, a weed company, merch, real estate, movies she acts in, a movie development deal, it just doesn’t make sense that some uneducated Disney kid hits the instagram and figures out how to create one of the most trending personal brands…but then again, when you’re at her level, it’s pretty easy to do….they aren’t re-inventing the fucking wheel or anything…and it all sort of just falls into place because if she posts a product, she’ll sell 100k units….easy..

So it is possible she master-minded this, but when you’re a Disney Kid, it’s probably not that challenging to pull off, I mean idiots on Youtube are doing it too….but I like to think there’s MORE to it than what we see because Hollywood’s scrambling to compete with influencers so they need their own out there competing with influencers…not to mention she likely had powerhouse agents being on Disney, who we never hear of at all, but who I am sure she wouldn’t have FIRED….

I don’t believe anything I see is basically what I am saying…

ANYWAY…the moment I’ve been waiting for for as long as I can remember is the skirts so short you can see the full ass….it’s fetishy, maybe even something you’d see on Halloween and not everyday….and I have ALWAYS liked upskirts….you know whether the wind blows the skirt up, whether the girl in the skirt drops something and bends over, whether the girls is cheeky and flashes her ass…I am INTO IT…

I have a feeling the full ass out in a short skirt, something reserved for trashy porn shoots, is going to be something you see out in public, which I guess is not that big of a deal, since we’ve had shorts so short we see full ass, so why not do the same with skirts…it’s a generation of exhibitionists and it’s amazing…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Bella Thorne

2021

Mar

Workout Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

This is supposed to be a series of pics of girls who workout showing off their fitness to inspire us to either get fit or jerk off to fit girls because this fat girls being normalized is criminal, or should be criminal, it’s premature death man….

Unfortunately, the kind of fitness pics I want are girls being naked at the gym, you know sneaky flashing inappropriate behavior, because girls who work out are hornier than girls who don’t, maybe it’s a hormone thing, I don’t know….maybe these girls are modest in life and naughty on the internet…I am no them…I do not know their motivation….

But I do like seeing fitness in action, it gives me a taste of it while being a sloth lazy fuck on the verge of death….like this girl on the pole for fitness…

The reality is, girls who workout, who feel fit, who are horny after they get their pump on and feel the need to take nudes are pretty awesome too, so here’s a bunch of fit girls, girls who workout, girls showing their gains, in hopes of giving you gains, so that you track them down and give them financial gains probably, they just don’t all tag their names on their pics, but should….

Stay fit, or stare at fit…

(more…)

Posted in:Workout

2021

Mar

Rebecca Black Cleavage of the Day

No Comments »

I don’t know who Rebecca Black thinks she is, but it’s not Friday, so she should bank her titty pics to release in bulk on a Friday….

I get it, she probably hates being a meme, responsible to one of the most annoying songs to hit the internet, especially since she was a little before her time, because the industry basically discounted her as a social media viral video joke, some TRON GUY shit, without have the foresight to realize that the internet owns those motherfuckers and if they want to survive they better align….so now we’re surrounded by all these idiots who have gone viral, or who have enough fake followers to pretend they are viral….now getting record deals…..they gave the top TikTok girl who hangs with the Kardashians her own song and dance to release on TikTok…and pretend she was in on…as some manipulative cash grab. They used to be less obvious money grubbers, but whatever…we don’t care…I just think Rebecca Black deserves the credit she deserves for being a hit on youtube before it was cool…even if I fucking hate the song…but I could just be saying that cuz she’s got big tits…it’s a way to win over my support…they call me the bra.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rebecca Black