I borrowed my friends car today because he was too drunk to drive himself to the hospital and he was shitting blood or something equally disgusting that I didn’t want to know about because I have no interest in that shit and I forgot that I can’t see very well. I am not sure if […]

I accidentally drank a bottle of wine to myself because some asshole bet me that I couldn’t drink a bottle of Ketchup. What he didn’t know is that I usually make myself tomato soup using hot water and Ketchup on the days I have no money for food so shit was easy. I guess that’s […]

Here are the my links you fuckers. I am trying to fuck my rubber vagina but I think that it has genital warts. I don’t know how it happened but I think it’s safe to say that the fuckin’ thing is a slut…. I am going to the strip club to make up for it…. […]

So it’s a new year and I’ve already fucked up my resolution of being the best site on the internet nobody reads so to celebrate that revelation here is some hate mail I got today: I used to like your blog but your comments about Jews today weren’t funny or amusing; they were offensive and […]

So I went to church on Christmas Eve, not because I am a religious man or because I felt the need to repent my sins for being an internet asshole all these years, but because it’s a good place to find elderly widows with no family alone and are vulnerable, willing to invite you over […]

Today’s a busy day, Jamie Lynn Spears is Teenage Pregnant and I may write about that later, but more importantly, Playboy tried to sue me: Dear Sir or Madam: It has been brought to our attention that web pages at Drunkenstepfather.com display, without authorization, reproductions of images owned by Playboy Enterprises International, Inc. (“Playboy”). All […]

I only got in a couple of fights this weekend. The first was with some girl who I was trying to get to fuck some dude I was with and she took offense that I’d take her as the kind of girl who would fuck someone she just met and decided to rip into me […]

Someone invited me to go get drunk in another city tonight and I figured I’d take them up on it, even though it doesn’t ever really matter where I get drunk geographically, as long as I get drunk physically. Dudes are all hung up on going to the best spot with the hottest bitches, or […]