I’ve had some bad internet luck the last couple days and I am trying to sort it out but it’s not working out too well for me. What is working out for me is that people still hate me despite my absence from the internet and are sending me hateful messages. Here’s one I got […]

I took my lunch at 4 pm and ended up getting completely wasted. Some dude I met randomly offered to take me to some brown poo covered chick’s concert and I tagged along only to drink too much. We met a native american girl and it was funny too see her drunk of something that […]

So some girl asked to be my intern today and I don’t really know what I do let alone coming up for things for her to do. My first thought was to have her write the site for me – while I drank cocktails and got lap dances all day, but realized I can’t afford […]

More from Flynet and their quest to kill Jesus Martinez (me). The DMCA letters, invoices and emails that are sent to you and you host is confidential information, not material for you to post on your site. What you are doing is illegal and we are now receiving emails and calls from some of your […]

I wrote Diablo Cody this Email: hey good writer I guess you’re pretty proud that someone has finally recognized a talent you always thought you had. I have a blog too, but I don’t know how to write. I came across your movie and got a boner, the first boner that I’ve had in a […]

So it turns out that my host just dropped me as a client today, which is the first time someone’s ever refused money from me, except that time I tried to get a stripper to put my beer bottle in her ass, but that’s not really part of their job unless you have lots of […]

One of my Jewish readers hates me because I made fun of Jewish teenage girls who go out in public during the day looking homeless, despite stepping out of Mercedes SUV’s and drinking their expensive designer cofffees, this is what he wrote to me: Dear DrunkenStepfather, I just wanted you to know that I took […]