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Archive for the Candice Swanepoel Category

2013

10

Jul

Candice Swanepoel for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

I don’t know about you, but I remember when Terry Richardson was shooting gutter hipster chicks he met at the after party, either taking his dick, or spreading their hipster pussies, in what was semi-interesting documentary style snapshots that showed a life far more interesting a fun than yours…tons of drugs and pussy what the fuck…

Then he went corporate, and now he takes lingerie models and puts them in clothing, places them in substantial settings, to do big production shots, but he lacks one key element that makes him interesting, and that’s the fucking pussy…

I mean seriously, these pics would be better if Candice was fucking spreading her ass next to the Montana or Utah or wherever the fuck she is sky…but instead he has her in some JC Penny 1960s town square dance event skirt…and that just fucking offends me…

She is a body, not a face, sort it out asshole.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

05

Jul

Candice Swanpoel Erotic for Youtube of the Day

I don’t know what this is all about. but I approve…It’s a great way to closes out my week of blogging…you know getting me pumped for my weekend, because you know this is what my bedroom is going to look like, with more pee stains and obesity…and less sheets….

If that’s not good enough for you, here she is in a tight little mini skirt rocking’ her awesome booty….a skirt I’d like to climb up and die inside…or wash it with my mouth…with an extra long rinse cycle…just as soon as I’m done sniffing it and by done I mean…with orgasm…right?

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

28

Jun

Candice Swanepoel Misused by Blumarine of the Day

Here’s a genius idea that I call milking a woman’s celebrity in efforts to promote your brad…but not realizing that the basis of her celebrity is her awesome half naked body…and not her face…

I mean this is like getting a hooker to give you a back massage because you are lonely, or a stripper to have a conversation with you in her clothes, it just doesn’t make sense.

If you pay the bitch, who knows her body rocks, you make sure she does her fucking job…

It’s jobs like these that give a model an ego, and make them think they have a chance doing things half naked…

It’s that beacon of hope that ruins them…so this company is doing more harm than good.

Bring back a half naked Candice..

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

18

Jun

Candice Swanepoel is Blonde of the Day

Breaking news…This just in…Hot off the presses…Candice Swanepoel dyed her hair blonder than it already was…and no one fucking cares…

What we do care about is seeing her bikini / lingerie model modelling fucking bikinis and lingerie like she is supposed to be…rather than posting pics of her not so hot face when her ass isn’t in the frame to stare at….to her social media…

I mean bitches always get an ego when they get too famous, and forget the only reason they are famous, and that is because of their fucking booty…at least in this South African’s case…

Everyday, I am less and less interested in Candice Swanepoel. She’s old news… her hair looks stupid…who the fuck cares…


To See Her at Some Evenr
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

05

Jun

Candice Swanepoel and Behati Prinsloo Victoria’s Secret Swim of the Day


Victoria’s Secret blow my mind. I mean the level of creativity and inspiration that goes into their shoot just keeps pushing the fucking boundaries. It’s like every month the catalog drops and ask myself “HOW WILL THEY OUTDO THEMSELVES THIS TIME ….and some how they always do…but producing the exact same picture, pose and format, for decades, making amazing girls like Candice Swanepoel and Behati boring as fuck.

Posted in:Behati Prinsloo|Candice Swanepoel

2013

27

May

Candice Swanepoel’s Amazing Bikini Body of the Day

Candice Swanepoel has a great fucking body. Long, lean, fit…I got no complaints while seeing her in a bikini on her downtime, you know not getting paid to be in her bikini, giving us a free meal like a top chef at the homeless shelter, but unlike a top chef, her charity work doesn’t take much effort, which is convenient, because either does her day job.

She gets paid millions to not even get dressed. I mean she’s won some lottery, and because it’s free for us to view, I guess we have too.

She’s great, or at least good enough for me, even if her winning at life frustrates all us losers, her body inspires!!


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

24

May

Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes for Victoria’s Secret of the Day

In case you didn’t know Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes are models who were abducted by the evil corporation called Limited Brands.

Limited Brands had sales of 4 billion or more dollars last year, their biggest revenue producer – Victoria’s Secret.

Based in the midwest, the company has been catering to “middle american women” through catalog pictures of hot bodied girls they try to make into celebrities, by owning them, and promoting the hell out of them, setting them up with A-Listers, getting them gigs in other magazines….in what is all one huge evil ad telling below average chicks they too can be sexy for their husbands, give him something to fantasize about, even if they can’t…..

That’s why they must abduct girls from the third world, not that South Africa is necessarily the third world, unless you’re living in a tribe with HIV….or that the Netherlands are the third world unless you’re a strung out person on the street…..but they give these girls a stamp of approval, a green card to America, and the chance to become celebrities, in a job all girls everywhere want to have, because that’s the fucking power of marketing….

14 year old high school girls are not telling their teachers they want to be doctors or the first president….they are saying they want to be Victoria’s Secret models….and that’s some serious fucking brain washing….at 14, already committed to a brand, just because of the push they put in catalogs….pussy that I’d like to get pregnant, or at least mail jars of my sperm to, hoping they get themselves pregnant with it, in some freak accident….but pussy that probably shouldn’t be a source of inspiration for kids to idolize….unless you’re a superficial fuck like me who is happy that girls look up to lingerie models and not fat chicks…cuz maybe that’ll help the obesity crisis, increase fitness, and give me a new generation of chick to jerk off to on instagram in a few years….cuz I’m tired of all the fat….and want more girls to be flawless….and not Flawless like this hypocritical campaign, telling all chicks they are flawless while using chicks who are actually flawless….I mean if they really want to speak to fat trash, they should replace these ethnic babes with something more relatable….like Walmart Clerks….

Here’s the video….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Doutzen Kroes

2013

23

May

Candice Swanepoel Nude Instagram Pic of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted this picture of her totally naked on the beach in some tropical and luxurious place that she probably flew private to get to….you know on Vacation from her really hard vacation of a life….stripping down to her soul like some kind of hippie nudist who knows she’s got the hottest body around…unlike the nudists I see who think they have the hottest bodies around, but who are 60 plus in age and number of pounds overweight.

It’s a lovely, artistic picture that would only be better if I was in it, mounting her, or at least masturbating to her, posed a little more spread assed. But I’ll take what I can get. You see Instagram has rules and she can’t afford to get deleted. We can’t afford for her to get deleted. We need her and her handlers filling our lives with her life…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

22

May

A Few More Candice Swanepoel for Vogue Australia of the DAy

This body blows me the fuck away….I posted a bunch of these Vogue Australia PICS the other day, but more have been leaked, and they involve her pantsless, and despite not being spread opened wide enough that I can see her soul, is still fucking hot to me, because these legs, that fit stomach, and that little model booty is just fucking glorious…it makes me want to go mining in her womb for some South African blood diamonds…with my penis…

I’m a fan.

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

21

May

Candice Swanepoel’s Alright for Instagram of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted these pics to instagram and they are lovely, even if totally expected, because her body makes her millions, it is totally fucking fit, and why the fuck wouldn’t she be showing it off to people, since it is all we want or expect of her….I mean seeing her fully clothed would be like a chef feeding a dinner party a fucking can of beans for dinner….

I am a fan, it is just unfortunate she’s not the farmer’s daughter in South Africa fucking the hired hands, because when she was, she was probably a hell of a lot easier to have sex with, but also a hell of a lot more at risk for HIV….thanks South Africa AIDS statistics for that….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

20

May

Candice Swanepoel Hot for Vogue Australia of the Day

Her body is ridiculous….and seeing her walk around with a whip isn’t all that bad either….which reminds me that fashion is softcore porn…touchin on some fetish shit…that I am totally into…because let’s face it…my life is pretty boring and this gives me something to do while I’m waiting for drinks….

You know hoping that this becomes fashion, and that the future is filled with women in one piece bathing suits and whips….because isn’t vogue all about style…and so am I….

Just the other day I asked a girl what she was wearing and if I could take it off with my mouth….she freaked out calling me a pervert…even though I just wanted to know her style…I also just want Candice Swanepoel and her tight body to teach me a lesson….even if it involves being fisted. She’s that good.


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS INCLUDING MOLLY RINGWALD
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

16

May

Candice Swanepoel’s Nipple in Interview Germany of the Day

From Miranda Kerr’s Titties On Set to these Candice Swanepeol titties in a magazine….it’s been a good day for nipples that are usually Angelina Jolied by the evil corporation they work for. It’s like you can own us because you made us celebrities, but you can’t take our nipples, Victoria’s Secret….

I’m a fan of Candice Swanepoel, she’s got a tight fit body, I’ve written her at least one love song that I’m working on the choreographed dance to before taking it to youtube, you know to win her heart….and in the meantime….I’ll be staring at these….but I don’t think you should…because she’s not some public domain slut….or maybe she is…that doesn’t stop my love….

These pics are alright…Thanks Interview Germany, you’re way better than other things Germany has brought us, like the Holocaust. It only took them 70 years to get to this point…

All this to say, I’d like her to breast feed me….

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|NSFW

2013

15

May

Candice Swanepoel Bikini in St Barts of the Day

Candice Swanepoel posted this bikini pic of her working her ass off in St Barts shooting for Victoria’s Secret for her million dollar a year contract that I assume involves being in a 5 star luxury villa, with staff catering to her every need, unlimited drinks and food and entertainment, to occupy her time that she’s not working, which I assume is probably most of the day, because models are slackers, virtually unemployed, but making bank, all because they look good in pictures…what a joke…..at least for the rest of us, myself not included, because this is barely a job…

Candice Swanepoel is lovely as fuck.

Here’s Victoria’s Secret Models and their “What is Sexy” list that I think is trying to take a cue from DOVE to empower things that are so not sexy….hearing these bitches talk is way less interesting that seeing them half naked…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel

2013

13

May

Candice Swanepoel and Lily Aldridge Model Bikinis of the Day


You know what….Victoria’s Secret models have pretty good bodies.

You should print this up, tape it to your fridge, and tell your wife how you expect her to look like this in the next 3 to 8 months, and everytime you see her snacking, show her what girls are supposed to look like….the subtle approach will either land you a hotter wife, or better, she’ll leave you for reasons of emotional abuse, take half of everything you have, and leave you free to masturbate to girls like this, cuz we all know there’s no way any of these girls are fucking you….

All this to say, I’m a fan of staring at them…


TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Lily Aldridge

2013

10

May

Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel, Behati Prinsloo Half Naked Pics for Social Media of the Day

Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel posted these pics to their instagram and the world liked the shit out of them because Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel are big fucking bikini and lingerie model stars….that all the 17 year old girls and white trash women who shop at Victoria’s Secret look up to as idols….”look there it’s the girl in the store in the bra i’m wearing paw”….you know real important idols because the world needs more bitches trying to get fit and half naked…rather than wanting to achieve other things in life that actual matter….and that works for me…because I like half nakedness on babes…

Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Miranda Kerr