Alive Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

04

Mar

Samantha Fox is Still Alive of the Day

In the 80s, Samantha Fox was a big deal. If you were one of the few guys who didn’t find her the hottest pussy around, you’d get beat up for being a faggot, even though by today’s standards she is just a trashy piece of shit with fat tits, because as a species we have come to terms with the fact that big tits aren’t enough to make a bitch relevant…

Either way, Here’s some of her old pics….

And Here’s her video called Naughty Girls from the 1980s

And Here she is today, with substantially smaller tits, even though her tits were all people cared about, I guess it’s just proof that aging sucks…..especially for her…because we’ve all moved onto new pussy while leaving her with just memories of what was….

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Alive|Samantha Fox|Tits

2009

09

Nov

Katy Perry Sluts It Up for and Russell Brand of the Day

5 Comments »

I guess having a man who actually wants to fuck her who isn’t black is exciting Katy Perry and boosting her confidence, because black guys will fuck any white chick, no matter how doughy or disgusting she may be, because the fact that she’s white totally conquers all her shortcomings, is getting to Katy Perry’s head. It’s like now that someone who could very well be a homosexual but may suck it up and fuck her like she was the man he wishes she was, because she’s out wearing thigh high pantyhose and sheer dresses and pretty much being as seductive as a girl of her stature can be without shit being overly comical, since she’s disgusting looking. It’s one of those hormonal things that makes a bitch go crazy after long stints of not fucking stop and long stints of fucking start and the only thing that would make these pictures hotter would be if they were of this lovely couple trapped in a blazing fire, or if their plane was crashing into the ocean, or if they were both walking around with their HIV positive results because really, they do no good for society and are just stains of shit you leave behind on the toilet seat to fuck with the next guy you know will have to use it, and some people are just better off disappearing than annoying me in picture, not that I wish death upon people, it just seems like the only way for Katy Perry to really do something right….

Here are some more of her….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Alive|Katy Perry|Russell Brand

2009

14

Oct

Sienna Miller is Still Alive of the Day

2 Comments »

Remember when Sienna Miller was all over the fucking place, topless in every movie, the hottest homewrecker in Hollywood….neither do I, but in my defense I have a pretty bad memory, I don’t even remember actual hot girls I’ve met drunk over the years when I bump into them, but usually that’s because I met them drunk, they aren’t as hot as I remember them being, and usually 10 years older, fatter and moms. I just know that there was at least one point in my life where I thought it’d be nice to replace my wife with Sienna Millerr, but then realized that Sienna Miller probably has Aids, and figure that’d be better off getting it from a streetwhore, because they’re less maintenance, less needy and faster to die because of their shitty immune systems…
So, she’s not dead, she did Letterman, and based on Letterman and her past she probably DID Letterman, and I guess who really cares, these pictures suck, kinda like her income the last 3 years…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Alive|Sienna Miller

2009

15

Jun

Suzanne Somers is Still Alive of the Day

2 Comments »

If you’re anything like me, you’ve jerked off to Suzanne Somers at various points in her career, whether it be her Playboy shoot in the 70s, her role on Three’s Company, her late night infomercials with her thighmaster bullshit, so I figured you’d appreciate getting off to her now, in her sunset years, you know as the curtain slowly closes on her, with her amazing hot leather skin, her menopausal mid-section and vagina with the inability to get pregnant, but who really wants that dried up snail, when she’s got those full lips that have been on a whole lot of dick in their years, not to mention the fact that she gets a senior discount on public transit, at the movies and even at the pharmacy by my house, makin’ her all the more amazing. Enjoy.

Posted in:Alive|Suzanne Somers

2009

08

Jun

Jessica Alba is Still Alive of the Day

4 Comments »

In case you are wondering, Jessica Alba is still alive. She hasn’t killed herself yet, she’s just killed her career. It’s one of those let your emotional neediness dictate what’s best for you situations, and instead of just letting that Cash Warren asshole take his herpes elsewhere, she had to go and sabotage his life but taking his cum rag and and wringing it out into her womb. At least society will have its revenge on her as she slowly gets more and more obsolete, like this computer I am trying to post with, only with floppier mom tits and here is her bra strap holdin’ them shits up.

Posted in:Alive|Jessica Alba

2009

14

May

Shannon Elizabeth is Still Alive of the Day

No Comments »

When a list has Michelle Obama and Chelsea Handler on the fuckin list, you know it’s not legit at all. When Katy Perry is 15 on the fucking list, you know it is written by girls. When Jennifer Love Hewitt is number 10, people are getting paid the fuck off, but at least Shannon Elizabeth isn’t on the shit, because she’s pretty insignificant and she looks fuckin’ horrible, despite her body still being bangin’. At least she got an invite to the party, which is more than I can say for myself.

Here she is in a shitty see through…

Posted in:Alive|Shannon Elizabeth

2009

20

Mar

Tupac Lives of the Day

10 Comments »

Sure, if you want to stage your own death and pretend you are dead, you don’t go out to LIl Wayne concerts dressed like it was 1993 and you were at the top of the game. I guess that would explain how he releases an album every couple of years and makes huge sales without the headache of touring because he’s some kind of legend, while really, he’s just kickin’ it on an Island somewhere with Natasha Richardson, or other celebrities who staged their own death to get out of the limelight….

I love these conspiracy theories about dead celebrities because people hate admitting a motherfucker who touched them through song, or after a concert, while his baby momma was at home breast feeding is dead, I thought this was worth posting, it probably isn’t, but I mean, what really is worth posting since everything pretty much sucks, except maybe for Ryan Seacrest. He’s fuckin’ dreamy.

Posted in:Alive|Tupac