Britney Spears was on Letterman in a bikini doing the top 10 list while I was at the worst movie in the history of movies called Funny People, that I assume was intentionally not funny at all, if anything it was pure fucking garbage that made me lose all faith in Hollywood and their ability to make something worth watching, it left me dying to die at least 5 times in the movie, I wished I was the one with the terminal disease, one fast moving enough to end the fuckin’ pain by the first hour of the movie. The real annoying thing in the whole experience was that 2 years ago I saw all those dudes doing a stand-up routine and every single joke from that comedy show that made me want to kill myself was in the fuckin’ movie, only they threw in some Adam Sandler stupid voices and a shitty fucking drawn out storyline and I shoulda been jerking off to Letterman not because he is so dreamy in his golden years, but because Britney was on the shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

There are a few disgusting things about Britney, none quite as disgusting as the girl I met in a stairwell who ate her own period, but pretty fucking close. When I look at her thick neck, I think of a man who works out too much so that he is the best topless pit dancer in the all night gay afterparty, and despite popular belief, that thought doesn’t usually come to mind when I see a chick in a bikini….

When I look at her ass, I can’t help but pull some Good Will Hunting shit and figure that at 27 years 6 Months old, she’s been alive for over 10,000 days, on average she probably has taken at least one shit everyday, to balance out the days she’s been constipated, I can only imagine she’s had multiple shit days, and above all that, she’s not known for being the girl with the best diet, so it’s safe to say at least half those shits were vile, you know the kind you walk in on in a public bathroom that make you fucking gag, wondering what the fuck happened to the person who made this mess and trying to decide whether or not you should try to find him and take him to the hospital because it is the right thing to fuckin’ do.

When I look at her pussy, I can’t help but remember K-Fed and his potent sperm, the pregnancy, the 2 babies, the tampon string, the period stained clothes, the sweating, the pussy shot, the period of time where she didn’t wash and the times my wife had a yeast infection and I’d go down on her, only to come up coughing and puking insisting she sort her Britney Spears Pussy Out….because Britney Spears became a synonymn for vile fuckin’ cunt…..

So no matter how hot Britney may look in a bikini, or how much she’s cleaned herself up, I just can’t bring myself to lovin’ her unconditionally, cuz she’s got too much baggage I just can’t forget about…

Here she is in a pink bikini…..cuz I guess her rancid cunt burnt a hole in the other one….She’s at the Ritz Carlton…I guess that means she’s classy….or at least classy enough to not walk around with her pussy lips exposed…

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears

Britney Spears was out doing a photoshoot in a white bikini, something one might think is a crazy as she is, not because everyone knows she’s had 2 kids and moms don’t belong in bikinis, but they do belong in the kitchen making dinner, but because she’s in a white bikini and her vagina is a bigger slob than she is. Some of us will never forget the pictures of her period stains, unless I just made that up and was thinking about this girl I once knew who used to not wear tampons but would eat her period out of her panties because she didn’t like the idea of losing iron or toxic shock syndrome and she was pretty fucking strange, but not as strange as the way these pictures are making me feel. I think I am actually loving these pictures of a washed up whore, I’m lovin’ her body and I can only blame one thing and that is that I am probably still fuckin’ drunk from last night and everything is better when drunk, except I still manage to hate myself, but I guess that’s got nothing to do with these Britney pics, so I’m gonna take Chris Crocker’s advice and leave her alone.

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears